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If voting in recent elections was like buying a product at a local tetail establishment, I think there would be a lot ol people looking to get their money back by now Take for instance the provincial Libetals. Dalton McGuintyexpectsustolall for that whole "sure we lied. but it was low your benefit“ line. Right. Consider this. Gentlemen, next time you want to .spend a night out with your buddies. carousing, drinking beer m 2004 Politics not like shopping Dear Editor. SCHOOL DAYS - These ldds from Mlss Harman’s 1916 class at Hlllcrest School (the old schoolhouse ls stlll there on Kennedy Road lust south of Bloomlngton) look as enthused about belng there as all our chlldren wlll be when they return to the books and blackboards next week. Photo courtesy of (he Whllchurch-Slouffville Museum Optometrists . 5035 Main St. . 905 642-3937 Historic photo courtesy of Whitchurch-Stouflvllle Museum packages for some third w Then when home at 4 a n beer. cheap bralwmst. and significant other fig out that you ate lying Ia me tell you. she i inst admit the date; but then tell her that were doing it to: her and such. inst tell the little lady-you are going down to the church let a hymn sung good. ‘trust me wait. you'" see! According to assemble rphans in id country. BY figures in; [and he will], 18f OW" (ion and are you. what is different abon aavemment frorr putchase decided I) political expediency lathe than the needs of th military. the Post Ollic run by a bunch of croolu health can: chaos. and th ptemiers ganging up 0 womislng us a 'new 0! government That going real well. is it. I What with the Ad scandal that rpfuw 3W6Y Gar Then there's Paul M Ie campaigned ”2909215 Bflln kind aul BIT fields But here in Ontario, there are plenty of curves. and plenty of fascinating things to maize sure you never see those curves coming giant billboards. beautiful century estates that look iust like your dream home, and, of course. a million things for sale Ontarians. it seems. will sell anything at the -end of their some fascinating local character. only to give up in frustration and return to the highway (having dropped potato chips to re-trace my route), my thirst for historical knowledge un-satisfied. But even though the history signs are a sale distance away. this does not mean there aren't an over-abundance of roadside distractions in Ontario, cumulatively designed to pull your attention away from that approaching semi-trailer at lust the wrong moment I'm not used to this, being a native of Alberta. where there is seldom anything to divert your gaze from the hardtop, not even sceneryr not even curves in the road lust miles and miles of wheat sign gives no clue as to how far away the historical marker is More than once, I've driven around an unfamilar town forever. searching in vain to learn about On holiday in Pennsylvania recently, the Spouse and i noticed that it is distinctly hazardous to your health to try and learn about the history of the Keystone State. Even on the remotest backroad. with next to no shoulder, historical signs are inevitably placed right beside the traffic lane, like speed limit signs or stop signs â€" no pullout. no nothing. And the print is so small, you Catch only the title at 40 mph 80 if you really want to absorb a little of the local colour. and learn all about the battlefield over yon hill, you are forced to stop right in the middle of the highway and hope nobody plows into you No wonder the fatality statistics are so high down there. Pennsylvanians do love their history Things aren't so bad here in Ontario, in almost every case I recall, you need to pull off the road to read about a church or a prison Often. in fact, you need to pull way off the road, and the on-road sign gives no clue as to how far away MOLLER INSURANCE Con-fessions Roadside Attractions by Conrad Boyce 64 Sanditord Drive, Unit 1, STOUFFVILLE A Home it Auto wHITCHURCH-SI'OUFNILLE THIS MONTH - 7 Roadside merchants are the most trusting people in the world I knew of a maker of wooden furniture up near Cannington. used to display his lawn swings and picnic tables all along the road for about an eighth 0! a mile. and never chained down a bit of it. Can't imagine his insurance premiums To their credit. though. most of them actually sit beside their wares with cashboxes on their laps. whatever the weather, like grown-up versions of the lemonade stand you operated as a Irid As an Albertan and Yuluoner unfamiliar wlth these phenomena. perhaps my favourite roadside discovery has been the 'chip truck', although its version of poutine is probably every bit as lethal as the Pennsylvania historical marker Of all the chip trucks l have come to know and love, the most irresistible is one in Leaskdale. north of Uxbridge. which is painted to resemble a Holstein and called “Cow Chips" Silly but splendid I recommend the banquet burger One of the things I enjoy most about southern Ontario is "running the roads’. experiencing all the different ways to get from A to B. and all the neat stuff that you see along the way It'll be the death of me, no doubt but it's better than wheatfields Trust me So you do. A couple of weeks later, you go by the same driveway. and there's something else sitting at the end of it. something of about the same vintage as the lawn chairs you grabbed before. Only this time, it‘s a tractor or a Mercedes. Maybe there's a for sale Sign, maybe not. I think the law would be on your side if you said, "Sorry, bud. you were nice enough to leave out the lawn chairs when you were done with ‘em. I thought you meant me to have the wheels, too. Didn't meant to disturb you by loading ‘em up in the middle of the night." driveway, But they will also give away anything at the end of their driveway‘ One week, you'll roll by and you'll see a mattress, or a set of plastic lawn chairs. or even an old fridge. The un- written invitation is: “You want this. load it up and drive it away. It‘s yours!"