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MAY 2004 mmmumummmaI-smumuz mmwmmmmanmmdmr “mummmamhambmafiwnmmaflm- mmmmmmmmwmmmmam mmanummmuwmmummmm mmqu'mmaMMwmmum,inm mWflhMam FummyWZ-Movo-mflwz ”Wuhan mmmmmm.GIHMSLW¢,OnL L4A3R4 WWWWBonmemb. Lookfotmeadwnmd'aatwwwstmflvileonlhemm Young ladies got beautifully dressed up for their Sunday school class at Stouffville Missionary Church in days gone by. Back row: Jessie Wideman, Emma Schell, Marjorie Mertens, Frances Shirk. Frances Reesor, Bertha Stouffer. Front row: Adah Reesor, Carey Johnson; Louise Stoufler, Blanche Burton, Ina Mertens Optometrists . 6085 Main Historic photo submltted courtesy of Whltchurch-Stouflvllle Museum 8t. 0 905 642-3937 One of the unfortunate side effects of struggling to maintain a youthful air while growing older is wind tunnel hair. I ( LL_:_ °.v ch--. In the past few years, Hollywood stars have been admired as much for their choppy, artfully dishevelled locks as for their acting acumen. Some of us have been known to go to movies just to gaze at their tresses, picking up Tribute magazine on the way out so we could take it to our hairdresser. show her a still from the movie and tell her we want a Meg Ryan. Most hairdressers don‘t have the heart to tell you that no amount of effort and expertise can turn your hair into Meg Ryan's. For one thing. she's a lot younger than you and for another. you don't have a small army of estheticians following you around with a blow dryer. a phalanx of hair products and a camera which shows you only in your best light. As a boring old boomer. my life has been one long litany of hair disasters, startâ€" ing with the days of lying sleeplessly in bed with my hair in spiky metal-rollers. the Western equivalent of a lakir lying on a bed of nails. in the sixties. filled with enthuâ€" siasm for the preâ€"Raphaelites. I decided to get a,perm. Worse, i went to my mum's hairdresser in downtown Wanstead, an emporium which had been turning out helâ€" met-headed matrons since the dawn of time. l emerged from the salon of broken dreams with a Brillo-style halo. Every time I walked past a shop window. I was horrified anew by the alien, unimproved me. My brothers were speechless with mirth when they saw the catastrophic result and my father wasted no time in taking a photograph at the scene of the crime. vAlthough I kept his snap asva waminé against future hatchet iobs, after a decade or two I allowed myself to be persuaded that the new, soft perms could transform my crowning glory into an angelic cloud of silken beauty. l have another photo which proves that my faith in the advice dispensed by women's magazines was once again sadly misplaced. ""1 Over the years I have ironed my hair and endured cuts which made me look like Elvis Presley on the day he ioined the army. 1 have paid huge sums of money for blonde streaks which turned acid green when I went swimming. l have gone dark warm brown (coal black). natural light auburn (violent fire-engine red) and golden brown (mouseii Not long ago, punk went middle-aged and women of a certain vintage started emerging from the salon sporting spikes and uneven bangs. Reader. I was among them, the hair at the back of my head defying gravity by standing at right angles to my skull. I looked as if I'd put my hand in an electric socket, or was fighting my way through a force ten gale. Alas. the result was more Margaret Thatcher than Winona Ryder. Forget those commercials where a woman's hair ripples seductively with a casual toss of the head. Hurricane Hazel couldn't mobilize a single strand of wind tunnel hair, so securely is it sprayed and gelled into submission. II These days I've given in to my hair's natural inclination to grow downwards. Half- finished jars of expensive goop, promising hair which is more profuse than lohn Kerry's and shinier than Cher's uplifted visage, have been iettisoned along with my attempts at maintaining a cool persona. ' And I only have tovlook at_my photos to find a permanent reason for going straight MOLLER INSURANCE A Permanent Attempt To Go Straight 64 Sandlford Drlve, Unit 1, ‘STOUFFVILLEJ Home it Auto "WHITCHURCH-SI'OUFFVILLE THIS MONTH” - 7 te ‘Ia cart-e