The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

APRIL 2004 Drs. mum Optometrists . noes Maln SI. . 905 542-3937 Hlstorlc photo submlttod couflosy oi Whltchurch-Stouflvlllo Museum \‘U‘; , f MOLLER INSURANCE Home * Auto 64 SandItord Drive, Unlt 1, STOUFFVILLE Everyone knows a PIN should be something obscure that no one else could work out Everyone also knows that most people pick the year of their birth or their phone number because there is a reasonable possibility that they may actually be able to recall It when they are using their card. By the time you get to my age, it's tough enough to remember why you are at the grocery store in the first place Retaining an unfamiliar PIN is lust not in the cards. After several further futile attempts on your part. the cashier reluctantly aban- dons a fascinating conversation with her colleague at the neighbouring checkout. gives you a pltylng look and runs the card through on her machine. When you final- ly locate the correct account button you are on the home stretch and all you have to do Is remember your personal identification number. lust working out which way to swipe the card requires a Master's degree in per- ception and is made even more difficult by the helpful diagrams on the machine. By the time you have it figured out. others in the lineup are getting restive and the machine deddes to throw another curve by sending a digital announcement which proclaims. 'Card problem. please retry'. The only card I would hate to give up is my debit card, although the experience of using it is not without its little frustrations. You would think by now that debit machines would be standardized. but apparently the banks find it amusing to mess with your head by introducing all kinds of different configurations. After almost five years of 'membership' I went online to check out some exam- ples of what my current accumulated total would net me. The results were less than stellar, to put it mildly. A year's subscription to Chatelaine. four free Blockbuster rentals (only two of which can be new releases), a lift ticket for skiing or snowboard- ing at Mont Edoaurd for a child aged 13 or younger, Abba's The Collection CD or a Great Masters CD called The Best of Tracy Byrd. Since I had never previously heard of Tracy Byrd, l was surprised to see from the cover photo that she was a man. Some people may feel enthralled by the prospect of owning Tracy's most treasured tunes but I. alas, am not of that number. As for Abba, the collected works could be considered more of a punishment than a reward to those of us who are allergic to anything redolent of the '705. For years I have mindlessly presented my Air Miles card -- applied for under duress in a moment of weakness -- when buying groceries. Every now and then I get a statement advising me of my current points status, which I usually file in the kitchen trash without reading it. As it turns out. my pathetic cache wouldn't buy me a one-way ticket to Buttonville. Of course you don't have to use them for flying. You can use them for merchan- dise, a romantic night for two at a motel in scenic Scarberia or tickets to a lays' game, but you'd have to buy an awful lot of groceries, wine and gas to aim that high. I carry plastic, therefore I am. . My wallet is already full of plastic cards. but checkout persons are \ever eager to add another one to the deck. I m seriously thinking of buying a Tâ€"shirt emblazoned with the legend 'No. I don't have an Optimum card' to forestall the inevitable query whenever I pop into the drug store for a bar of soap. PINning your hopes on plastic“ A‘Ia carte 'WHITCHURCH-SI'OUFFVILLE THIS MONTH' - 7