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economist sunsuntribune sports saturday jan 7 2006 13 our national sport has a colourful language all its own tjnvt tttkfrnr c byjohncudmore staff writer apples cookie jars cheddar cheese and of course dont forget the sauce to be served up on a dirty dish item all clearly which could be found in mamas kitchen to be sure so what the heck would a hockey game have in common with these morsels a fan might wonder for the uninitiated they are indeed as much a part of the game as assists nets and passes why because that is exactly what they are in hockeyspeak times were when a fan couldnt tell the players apart without a program that observation still holds true but shrewd program vendors might consider adding dictionaries to their concession stands to help the poor old fans figure out what the heck players are talking about evenifaguycantplayverywell he might be referred to as a gong show he can still talk a pretty good game pret ty colourful stuff too in a family newspa per kind of way constantly evolving it kinda sounds hip too in a sweaty sense a lot of the stuff is funny and trash talk among ourselves said goaltender bradfogal of the newmarket hurricanes of the provincial jr a hockey league it just pops into your head and when somebody says it it sticks most of it is the opposite to what it really means for instance if a guy makes a nice pass you might say its dirty its reassuring to know pretty goals are there any other kind unless youre a goalie er target are still snipes but location can be critical and so can the apple on the play more commonly known as the assist recently seguin bruins jr a assistant coach greg quattrin admired a goal and blurted out something about top shelf in reference to putting the puck high into the net like from which ledge in the storage closet did that mothball tumble of course it once was the top shelf where grandma kept the peanut butter or cookie jar or perhaps uncle bob stashed his girly magazines one of the kids said cheddar said quattrin who has been in the coaching game long enough to have a keen ear for such matters i guess thats where they hockey talk some key parts of the hockey vocabu- barn rink or arena cheddar top cheese cookie jar top portion of the net c-note- goal apple- assists dime 10-minuk- i inct sauce dish a nice pass showing a deft touch an s6 a player born in 1986 meaning he currently has one more r season of eligibility scholly ncaa scholarship chirping trash talking an opponent dangle nifty offensive move by a player against an opponent often demonstrating outstanding puck con- twig branch lumber hockey stick target the goaltender also com mon retenecl to as sieve or puck bag dman deienceman biscuit disk puck basket the net or goal mitts- hi vesasinthey dropped their mitts in order to fight sniper snipe goal scorer rk rr penalty killingpower play stripes- referee liney- linesman clapper siapshol keep the cheddar cheese now it just keeps mutating time was when a nice feathery pass over an opposing defenders stick and easily received by a teammate was termed a saucer pass that nifty little play has evolved to become a nice sauce or a dish dirty as noted by fogal a lot of it is code between players its stuff most people wont pick up on said fogal nevertheless parts of hockeys under ground lingo are genuinely creative for a society in which the art of applying nick names has slipped to adding ah s ey or ie to a surname a far cry from the likes of boom boom the golden jet the china wall or big train hurricanes forward joey wilson sug gests deviations from every day language is a way to cope with a long season you spend a lot more time together at this level than in minor hockey offered the finalyear forward who would be referred to those in the industry as an 85 a reference to his birth year 1985 mostly its in fun but it can be to get at the other guy i think were being lazy instead of using real words sometimes it is created to mean something then becomes something else but when you say it to someone they know what you mean this marked the third year at last weeks rogers television newmarket hurricanes junior showcase for syracuse stars defenceman pat kelliher its a great tournament for exposure said the 19yearold rochester ny resi dent you can play a good game and just never know whos watching or what others are saying kelliher likely picked up some cana dian shopping bargains during his stay for sure hes going home with some new hockey talk too dime ive never heard that one he conceded slowly shaking his head over the hockeyspeak definition for 10- minute misconduct theres a lot of interesting things said not all are pretty movie lines come up a lot and we have team sayings after a big goal the bench will give a hi yo although i dont know where that came from on both sides of the border some things remain universal fighters are still scrappers a fight remains a tilt a goal- scorer forever is a sniper and a weak goal still gets people thinking the goalie is a sieve hey fans put your ear up to the glass next time your team scores a goal and lis ten closely you might just be able to hear the following conversation that was a saucy utile apple jonesy after you put the dangle on that dman and put that gnote in the cookie jar up where they keep the cheddar cheese the puck bag was sagging that clapper real ly raised the bam and stopped all the chirping forget a fad diet common sense can change your life o what was your resolution in many instances it was to attain a high er degree of physical well being this often involves shedding a few extra pounds hopefully we can help steer you in the right direction you can watch tv on a cellphone doctors can perform operations from the other side of the world and we can get almost anything we desire with the click of a mouse still weight loss is becoming more elusive as time marches on in canada statistics indicate the population is more than 70 per cent overweight our children are suf fering from adult diseases as early as age nine and health care costs from sedentary lifestyles are costing our health care system billions of dollars a year as well more than 70000 people die in ontario each year from diseases caused by a sedentary lifestyle the secret lies in a simple synergy not a magic pill or an amazing new discovery it is an amalgamation of common sense and education if we are so advanced as a society why cant we tackle this ever increasing epidemic the answer is simple misinformation is the culprit people are simply given bad information we also suffer from infor mation overwhelm here is an example a neighbour tells another of an amazing diet her cousin went on and shed 15 pounds that neighbour then tries this amazing diet and loses 15 pounds herself both gain back the 15 pounds they lost on top of that they add an additional five pounds back upset they failed they go back to the same diet because in their minds it fitness files john leonard worked before sound familiar here is the truth the diet didnt work before it didnt work unless the goal was to lose the weight and gain it back both participants were victims of misinfor mation misinformation is deadly because it is sel dom divulged with mal ice good intentions are usually intended diets will fail you 100 per cent of the time let me leave you with this if you have ever failed to get a weight loss result it was not your fail ure it was the failure of the technology or pro gram you attempted to change with the secret lies in a sim ple synergy not a magic pill or an amazing new discovery it is an amalga mation of common sense and education it occurs when the out come is greater than the sum of its individual parts the outcome you are looking for is long- term lasting fat reduction and a healthy lifestyle the synergy consists of a concern for muscle resistance training sup portive eating consum ing in a way that supports metabolic function and moderate aerobic activity learning this synergy as well as the truth with i regards to the throngs of misinformation false beliefs and flat out dis honesty is an absolute must at the outset of any lifestyle management or weight loss program for a person seeking this type of a positive physical change they should contact a fitness centre and see what type of programs are offered john leonard is a writer speaker and president of fit 4 real fitness in markham he has appeared on many television and radio shows as a guest expert talking about fitness weight loss and optimal wellness visit his website at wvjwm4realfit- nesscom