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stouffville suntribune b thursday july 28 2005 5 im sorry officer i got here as fast as i could l im sorry officer but i was trying to blow the snow off my windows officer wasnt really speeding but my air conditioner is broken and i was trying to fight off heat exhaustion by making a faster breeze you wouldnt want me to pass but behind the wheel and cause an accident would you 1 was almost out of gas and i was speeding so i could get to a gas station before i ran out 1 was going too fast to see the sign im in a hurry cause i messed my pants and thats why dont have any pants on and uh no i dont have a drivers licence well i do have a pilots licence too would that help officer i have a trial pair of those coloured contact lenses 9 cant see my speedometer clearly staff photobill roberts york regional police sgt david mitchell has heard every excuse by martin derbyshire staff writer excuses excuses get caught speeding and everybodys got one peoples excuses for speed ing are always interesting york regional police traffic unit sgt dave mitchell said we keep a list of the good one liners some of them even work we caught one guy speeding who said he just washed his car and was air drying it he got a ticket sgt mitchell said i had to go to the bathroom is a very common excuse or im not feeling well im going to the hospital andifs an emergency then we hear things like officer i just bought new shoes and the thicker soles are forcing me to push down harder wehad one guy who said he was just fitted for a new prosthetic leg and its a little longer than his last one the ontario provincial police summer cottage patrol a traffic safety blitz program focussing on hwy 404 and hwy 400 head ed north through york region to cottage country has become quite famous for the funny things officers hear sgt cam wooley writes down all the odd things he and others find out on the road after 27 years ive heard so many bad excuses for speeding i dont remember half of them he said over the canada day week end sgt wooley said the opp encountered such beauties as a woman caught speeding on hwy 400 in aurora who parked in the passing lane when she was pulled over she said she thought it was against the law to drive on the shoulder a man caught speeding at 148 kmh who said hed seen so many other cruisers out on the road he figured there couldnt be any more left and a man caught going 155 kmh he asked officers to give him a break considering he just got out- a jail for driving under suspension a lot of what officers find is hilarious but speed is no joke in 2004 41 people were killed on york region roads many as a direct result of speeding the excuses dont seem so funny when you have to perform the unfortunate task of telling a family their loved one is never coming home again theres never ever an easy way of doing that sgt mitchell said share a little magic 0 big brothers 9057271 251 big sisters york wwwbbbsyca a little time can make a huge difference in a childs life with several volunteer programs to choose from one is sure to suit your schedule this message brought to you as a community service of the economistsuntribune officer ifs a lamborghini come on i was only in second gear impossible officer my car has some problem it would shake apart at that speed yeah i know i was speeding but you are a york cop and im on hwy 404 you cant give me a ticket ha no officer i had my cruise control on therefore you are wrong and by the way i pay your wages i was just trying out my nitrous oxide system yes sir i realized i was speeding but e have the worst diarrhea and you can follow me home to get the evidence if you want the officer replied but your home is a cou- pie blocks in the other direction im an idiot i was looking right at you cops dont have motorcycles in my hometown ji golfcluf august special twilight rate 19 includes powercart 228 brock street east hwy 47 uxbridge 9o58527962 expires monday aug 105 jbl i v 3 days only imjimimhj lanmici 2 blacks north ol hwy 7 on mccowan beside lcbo 9052090763 190bmjxckir vwwoasisfitnessca private womens only area coming5oon vv v free aerobics j baby sitting available v free personal trainer consultation if you have time left at another health club we honour it at oasis a markhams newest fitness centre over 20000 sq fj