stouffville suntribune thursday feb 17 2005 19 words byamylazar staff writer ugly stupid loser meanspirited words and phras es are often exchanged by young children but alyssa said it hurts more as a teenager it gets worse as we grow up because the kids think of more names said the unassuming girl whose mother didnt want her last name printed for fear of school yard ostracizing things like youre ugly or you smell is what ive heard the richmond hill student added using language in a derogatory way is a form of bullying and stud ies show mental and emotional scars take years to heal if ever appearance is an easy target but so is intelligence said michelle wolff a special education teacher at walter scott public school while the assumption is smart or nerdy students are the ones being teased those in special needs classes fall victim as well it is a simple as using the word stupid she said adding she does not hear the word retarded used by students however students often bully in the school yard where they are behind the backs or out of teacher earshot added ms wolff when she does hear the name- calling the teacher discourages the behavior i have taken many students aside and i question them whether or not they understand what they are saying she said most of them dont but they have a very clear understanding of the reaction they receive said dr glenn dipasquale york region district school board chief psychol ogist the words are a part of lan guage and often kids dont know the true meaning of what they say he said kids use language for impact especially when they know its a taboo word with preteenagers and teenagers dr dipasqualesaid the inappropriate use of language is a clear message of challenging adult values the younger children are looking for validation positive or negative elements of bullying bullying behaviour involves a power imbalance eg size number of students status etc there is intent to cause distress the victim experiences distress and without intervention the bullying behavior is repeated courtesy of york region district school board the vast majority of inappro priate language use comes from modelling they hear older kids using it and connect it to being more mature he said if bravado or taboo behaviour makes people laugh or gets atten tion that behaviour will be emulat ed phrases such as that is retard ed have not disappeared even though in the 1980s schools stopped segregating students with developmental disabilities that was done to lessen the dis crimination against students with special needs dr dipasquale said when the iq test was first used in 1905 psychology literature would refer to lowscoring students as idiot imbecile or morons language is always changing and adapting he said terms become loaded and sen sitive so we have to abandon them and find new descriptors to stay ahead of it meanwhile some words youth use to tease have taken on totally new meanings the phrase thats so gay is used to describe someone or some thing that looks silly wrong or funny language can be very homo phobic and it is something we chal lenge on a daily basis ryepride co ordinator ilanit goren said language influences and defines how we think and act it can nor- malize a 1 1 i tudes a n d behav iours and when no one chal lenges inap propriate language then it makes it ok express it ms goren is a postgraduate stu dent at ryerson university who is part of a student support group for gays and lesbians every year during frosh week we hear the words fagot and dyke she said dictionaries define fagot as a bundle of sticks used for fuel and a dyke m as an embankment built to prevent floods but the putdown isnt always limited to words a young student said his peers use hand signals to taunt and tease each other they make bunny ears with their hands and put it behind my head said grade 3 student anthony fracassi while having lunch with his sister and grand mother while he is too young to realize the sign doesnt mean anything hes old enough to know he doesnt like to be treated that way its mean and it hurt my feel ings looks like you finally found that good reason every year thousands of ontarians stop smoking for themselves for their families for life you can too so set your quit date and for help call smokers helpline 1s775 135333 ontario