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economist suntribune opinion thursday sept 19 2002 speed humps no fun if youre having a baby i wish whitchurch- stouffville councillor steve pliakes could have a baby childbirth would give the ward 1 representative some extra insight into an issue now before whitchurch- stouffville council id like to say up front im impressed by coun pliakes hes a global thinker a humanitarian and by far the most individualistic member of his towns council he and i can differ on issues yet at the end of the day we respect each other i like the man coun pliakes is pushing for speed bumpshumps as a traffic calming measure while fire chiefs across ontario are appealing to municipal governments to do anything but im with the fire chiefs when seconds count dont add minutes to a fire departments response time thats the message from whitchurchstouffville fire chief tim beckett who has joined the ontario fire chief association in making the provincewide appeal against speed bumps humps still coun pliakes contin ues to point out that bumpshumps are in vogue theyre the new thing said coun pliakes theyre being used in markham and in newmarket indeed a total of 128 humps theyre flatter and wider than bumps have either been installed or are planned for 23 streets in markham unionville mill- iken andthornhill coun pliakes insists bumpshumps slow down traffic heres his argument they deter speeding if peo ple continue to speed and hit a bump or hump theyre going to loose the front end of their cars sure the fire department is going to say it slows their trucks down a little so what thats not the end of the world its no big deal sorry steve it is a big deal its such a big deal that i wish you could have a baby so you could understand it for the sake of my argu ment lets pretend you can in fact give birth and lets also pretend there are three bumpshumps on the street where you live to make my argument more convincing ill call you stephanie youre fullterm stephanie labour has begun within the first five minutes the pains are less than three minutes apart its obvious this baby is not going to take the traditional 12 hours to pop out no siree stephanie the pains are joan ransberry now less than two minutes apart labour has become severe and theres this urge to push its time to call 911 an ambulance arrives and stephanie is on her way to markham stouffville hospital just as the ambu lance leaves stephanies street it hits the first bump hump stephanie feels the jar a pain like no other takes over her body little stevie presuming the child is a boy of course felt the bump too and it made him even more antsy little stevie wiggled a little further down the birth chan nel the ambulance driver knew there was another bumphump coming up he cursed under his breath his passenger was in the advanced stage of delivery if he increased the speed and hit that second bump hump hed run the risk of her delivering on the spot but slowing down seemed counter productive still he hif the brakes and went over the hump little stevie feels a slight jar its all the little gaffer needed he entered the world and took his first breath luck was on everyones side a healthy baby is born i hadnt thought about childbirth for a very long time however when i lis tened to coun pliakes rave on about speed bumps humps the experience of my bringing three babies into this world came to mind my first took two hours the second 45 minutes 30 of them lying in the back seat of a car on route to hospital baby three was a hospital induction he took 20 min utes my baby was born in the hallway just off the eleva tor in full view of the public including a janitor with a mop and pail and a tv installer so steve babies have their own agendas some are simply in a hurry put things like speed bumpshumps in front of them when theyre trying to arrive and i expect youll get them even faster if i could turn you into stephanie and have you go through a notimetowaste childbirth experience maybe youd rethink this bump hump issue smoivjeo ham hocks as promised well have quantities of our beautiful smoked pork hocks this week anyone who follows our ads will have noticed that we promote these around holidays thats because we make an especially large number of hams for special occasions like thanksgiving for every ham theres a hock youll need one of these to make roberts pea soup the recipe will be available and although its great in pea soup its equally good simmered with sauerkraut or boiled ana served with mustard however you use it youll love it because its very meaty low in salt and slowly smoked so that it has the flavour that soup and hock lovers truly love spmtpias the peas youll heed to make the soup are m jm m with th cofour smoked pork hocks cakes in our amazing bakery well be making our lemon curd cakes this week theyre white cakes which have been split twice filled with our homemade lemon curd which is good on its own too and iced with a notsosweet white i and yes decorated available in two sizes reg 1295 1795 ea serves 16 depending on whos looking off this week make your own apples if you love apples and who doesnt its an exciting time of year what well have this week are a paula reds b courtlands c mutsu d gala and e macintosh and possibly even more exciting news is the arrival of fresh- pressed cider its availablein 1 litre 199 and 3 litres 399 sizes heres to fail i ose arc the things to have if youre doing a bit of autumn decorating or making an attractive- autumn table arrangeiiient they come in the most interesting shapes colours and sizes mix or hiatch v we sell our wild blueberries sliced cling peaches and pitted sour cherries in containers of a sufficient size to make a 9 pie spicy feta this weeks frozen entree feature is our wonderful chicken pies they have a pastry ha off crust and must be baked but will be thoroughly enjoyed reg 1395 this week cream of we make this using the tender ends of asparagus our own chicken stock cream and its a wfjfil spiced just right w l yn serves 3 4 w hj off reg 549 ea jm whats new outside debbie parks advice to me for this week was to have a whole bunch of our monster mums which i have but have some autumn decor items as well and a village grocer scarecrow which we did so if your home needs an autumn accent come and see us tuts week our smoked turkeys should you wish a freerange smoked turkey for thanksgiving give us a call we smoke them over oak just like our salmon and theyre delicious they take about a week to prepare so the order deadline is oct 1st this is a great dip for biscuits or veggies or even chips its made with you guessed it feta roasted red fk p ia peppers and an w fl assortment of herbs and spices reg 199 100 g whats new on lb brazhianmangoes these are huge size 6s and of good colour excite a flavour from brazil ea you may have been wondering whats happening at the old pineapple inn location well after a lot of work and time the village steak and chop house is now open for dinner its a collaborative effort between jack of jakes and tom and paul of the arms our involvement is that were the supplier of all the meat so if you want a great steak or chop or chicken or perish the thought one of our texas beef chops but you want it served to you in great surroundings come on down and have dinner bon appetit specials in effect until closing sunday september 22 hours mon 1000500 tuesthurs 900700 fri 900800 sat 900600 sun 1000500 548 carlton road unionville 9401770