The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

mb p4 tribune june 21 1995 lets all keep our cool st if you cant stand the heat get out of the kitchen so goes the old saying but this past week many residents have been doing more than that theyve been getting out of the house alto gether and heading for the nearest air conditioner store however there is more to fighting a heat wave than plugging in a fan we all have responsibilities to assume now that the hot weather is here first there is the need to save water this newspaper has already had complaints that residents are not watering responsibly allowing their sprinklers to go all night or during peak hours the municipality takes this mat ter seriously and residents will be our view fined for misuse power consumption in ontario has never been higher than it was on monday while the public utility maintains it can accommodate all those extra fans and air condition ers we still have a responsibility to conserve energy where we can soaking in a cool tub consumes less energy than a shower anyway as well residents can keep the heat down in the home if they choose to use an outdoor clothes dryer we also have a responsibility to our neighbors there is a high preponderance of senior citizens in our area and the heat is often very hard on them at press time there were no heat- related emergencies but there are bound to be many before summer lets out if you know of someone who may be vulnerable to the weather weve been having keep in contact with them to ensure they are in good health hot humid weather is also hard on asthmatics and people with lung diseases lastly we have a responsibility to ourselves heat stroke sun stroke and aquatic emergencies rise inex orably with the temperature tem pers also flair and crime rises as well it is in our own interest that we all stay cool literally mqs stouffville tribune 6244 main st stouffville ont l4a1e2 905 6402100 905 6492292 fax 905 6405477 publisher patricia pappas general managereditor andrew mair editorinchief jo ann stevenson director of advertising debra weller retail manager mike rogerson distribution manager barry j goodyear administration vivian 0neil operations manager pamela nichols questions news andrew mair editor joan ransberry mike ruta roger belgrave reporters sjoerd witteveen steve somerville photography retail advertising joan marshman doreen deacon classified doreen deacon real estate joan marshman distribution arlene maddock the stouffville tribune published every wednesday and saturday is one of the metroland printing publishing and distri bution group of community newspapers which includes ajax pickering news advertiser auroranewmarket era ban- ner barrie advance brampton guardian burlington post cityparent collingwood connection etobicoke guardian george town independentacton free press kingston this week lindsay this week markham economist and suri milton canadian champion mississauga news north york mirror oakville beaver orillia today oshawawhitbyclarington this week northumberland news peterbor ough this week richmond hillthorn- hillvaughan liberal scarborough mirror todays seniors uxbridge tribune contents cannot be reprinted without written permission from the publisher bytown aint what it used to be be assured dear reader that your faithful scribe has been diligently working on your behalf last week in the service of you the reader i took it upon myself to go to ottawa to see what was what in the nations capital i am pleased to report that your tax dollars are being put to good use with the possible exception of mrs ethelred klozhamper of goodwood whose 1994 income tax has gone to subsidize the chicken teriyaki at the parliamentary dining room actually my wife and i had lunch in that austere room upon arrival in the capital you need an invitation and through the wanglings and finagling of my brother who works in that fair burg we were able to get a seat right by the buffet i can honestly say that i was sorely disappointed no where on the menu was there the slightest hint of canadians no back bacon moose steak no canada goose flambe no roast shank of beaver shoul der to be found anywhere i had the new zealand lamb on a french stick with swiss cheese which ought to tell you something the most exciting thing about the din ing room at parliament hill is that the ceilings were obvi ously designed by csis because the multipledome shape of the roof allows you through a quirk of acoustics to eavesdrop on peoples con versation across the room apparently the last prime minister used to enjoy sitting at the far left corner table because all the conversations in the room came bouncing back to him eventually there was nobody impor tant there on the day of our visit so i cant fill you in on any gossip from the hill i do have some observations about ottawa however i had not been to bytown since i was a boy and from that expe rience i took away just three mental notes 1 in ottawa they had a revolving restau rant on our hotel 2 they had a flame on parliament hill that never goes out 3 the changing of the guard was among the most boring expe riences of my life i have made some new men tal notes l ottawacarlton now boasts a million people a mil lion i found this startling fully one third of them are young attaches in expensive suits another third makes up the ottawacarlton parks crew the remaining third are street people at first i thought the street people were politicians because a i expected to see politicians and b they are always look ing for you to open your wal let however i was assured that unless the person is accompanied by several young attaches they are street people 2 the centennial flame on parliament hill which was lit by lester pearson went out while we were there appar ently it had to be cleaned it seems spiders can get into the gas jets like they do with your barbecue anyway there was send us your letters to the editor the tribune welcomes your letters to the editor letters should be no more than 500 words in length and can be typed or neatly hand written your letters can be on any topic but the tribune reserves the right to edit for length libel grammar and spelling and good taste letters will not be returned unless requested of the editor due to space constraints not all letters may be published however we endeavor to print as many as possible within a time frame that maintains news value and topicality please send your letters to the editor 6244 main st stouffville ont l4a 1e2 or you can fax your letters to 905 6405477 no ceremony and no torch was lit to keep the flame alive they just shut it off cleaned it and then some ottawa- carlton parks crew guy flipped his zippo and voila the tradition continues 3 outside of the areas catered to by the ottawa- carlton parks crews and some select neighborhoods the city resembles the back end of sudbury 4 at one end of col by road is im not kidding a byway store if you think thats a coincidence at the top of sussex dr there is a hook er named sue now im kid ding 5 the national gallery is very big 6 the museum of civiliza tion is even bigger in fact i hear they are going to change its name to hull 7 did you know they have covered up the peace tower we got to parliament hill and it looked like a war zone apparently they have to re- grout the whole thing and the tower will be wrapped in tar paulins and scaffolding for the next three years they were kind enough to leave the flag sticking out of the top but thats not all according to my sources on the hill in 2002 the entire parliament building complex will be evac uated for up to five years while similar restoration work is done on the inside of the old buildings while the work is being done the government of the day will be housed in a nearby cafeteria of all places i fore see confusion when the speaker calls for order but then thats ottawa for you filling void left by the muse wrlatreyou lmy doirtemorvl gardening why i like digging inthegardem- i rnp it very relaxing writing is easy all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead gene fowler in my case its a blank computer screen but the end result is much the same still there are other ways to fill in the time when the muse is absent my day goes something like this wake up when cat steps on face and knocks over giant tumbler of water at bedside drink tea supplied by husband as memories of what i didnt achieve yes terday come flooding back to haunt me get up show er and get dressed turn on computer wake up daugh ter go downstairs and empty dishwasher discover belatedly that no one turned it on last night reload dishwasher and turn on wake up daugh ter make filthy british cof fee substitute return to computer and click on file marked cur rent apparently nothing is flick onto other files none of which supplies any inspiration wake up daughter go back to computer sip ersatz coffee distractedly try in vain to decipher shorthand notes wander downstairs and check dryer fold clothes therein and feed cat who begins the next stage of his morning workout by using his teeth to pull his dish of dried food off the tray and onto the rug spilling 90 per cent of its contents on the carpet in the process hear phone rush upstairs two steps at a time but still fail to get it before ma bells invisible answering machine kicks in go back to office and sit glumly in front of comput er trying to come up with a sparkling opener for a fas cinating story on skunk infestations kates corner ate oilderdale cat zooms in like greased lightning gallops over bed desk and computer scat tering papers and turning on the printer before per forming a spectacular pirouette in midair and whipping up the stairs at 900 miles an hour horrible crash is followed by unprintable reprimand from offspring who has looking on the bright side finally woken up sigh mightily and go upstairs to take inventory of damage listen to litany of woes about torn posters and knocked over flower vases and the general use- lessness of cats go downstairs and make additional wannabe coffee noticing there is a message on the machine the message i missed when i was folding laundry instead of staring at blank computer screen and which reminds me of a meeting i was supposed to attend in uxbridge half an hour ago start to advance on office but suddenly remember cat food all over the floor in the basement anxious to avoid a reality check i start vacuuming instead only to gum up the machine with large chunks of bulletlike food the appliance goes into its death throes with a strangulated shriek and a distinct smell of burning rubber permeates the air cat jumps into water bowl then hangs off scratching post with a maniacal gleam in his eye before tak ing off at warp drive for the great outdoors having exhausted my full repertoire of procrasti nation techniques i am back at the computer blood dripping slowly down my face