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c8 economist sun7tribune march 8 1989 friends children aggravate couple flower show at the barns cullen country barns is in bloom with its annual spring flower show on now to satur- day march 12 on display are freshly cut and potted daffodils iris hyacinths and many other spr ing flowers in full bloom the weall arid cullen garden centre located in the barns complex willbe conducting in formative lectures during the flower show on subjects rang ing from landscape and design to houseplants arranging to c flower the lectures will take place sunday march 12 at230 pm in the lath house admission is free bs 81 sif 7 or ed meade is a registered psychologist and director of the markham stouffville family life centre in this column he answers questions from readers who remain anonymous q we have friends that are really wonderful company the two couples my husband and i and the two of them have a wonderful time together but their children are a different matter their two children ages 6 and 2v are brats they are poorly behaved loud damage my sons toys and disrupt our entire household when they visit i refuse to invite them any more i almost hate going to their house for fear that i am sub jected to these children for very long the parents often apologize for their kids behavior or just simply ignore them as they are a handful we have refused to go on trips with these friends because they insist on bringing their children do i have the right to discipline these children if and when they come over should i even try to explain to this cou ple why we dont want to do family things together a as to your first question the answer is yes you could be firm in your boundaries of discipline especially when it pertains to the rules of your own home do you have a place where these children could play which would contain their disruptive behavior this scenario is somewhat like marrying for the second time to someone who already has children from a previous marriage the kids come with the person and kids come with couple friendships you must then share in the authority when these children are in your home in your own home set the rules and make them quite clear at the start of any visit with any child when you are in their home it is not quite as simple i- there you may assert yourself on issues of personal comfort and space there you could simply state very asser tively this kid is bugging me will you please assure me that my personal space wont be violated sometimes just a slice is nice especially when its only 00 for lunch dinner snack a friend in meade dr ed meade if your personal space is not being protected then your issue is really with the parents you need to assert yourself and let your friends know that you are being walked on and you do not intend to let this continue are you too nice is perhaps your friendship pseudo- mutual by confronting your friends you may lessen the har mony but be free from the an noyance you have shared with me dr meade welcomes your questions if your response is published name and identity will be withheld questions should be directed to the markham stouffville family life centre 5871 hwy 7 e markham viking canadian fund rrsp 1 year period ending january 31 1989 average annual compound rate of return with dividends reimested these rates of return are reduced by fees past performance is not necessarily indicative r of future performance 3 years 5 years 14- 10 years financial centre open store hours eatons second floor markville centre markham 4791922 laurentian financial services managed by laurcntian funds management inc and offered by prospectus only deadline for contributions march 1 through saturday only good through march 11 20piece portrait package 28x10s 35x7s and 15 wallets on traditional backgrounds we catch your childs best smiles every sears photographer is a professional trained to bring out and catch your childs best smiles also available instant pass port photos p indue 52 00 dpou po out mooa whit ad 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