The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

c4cndffit simtifbtine march 9 1988 cg this time the practical jokes on me i think via in trouble again but this time its not my fault honest it would appear that a practical joke played by a local travel agent friend of mine who shall remain nameless has threatened to cast doubts upon my otherwise unblemished repu tation as a clean living proponent of old fashioned values yes a classic example of the old saw that goes with friends like this who needs enemies upon walking into the newspap er office the other day i was in formed that there was some mail for me i walked into the office of the editor where all such corres pondence is stored to pick it up it is important to point outhere that such items can sit around a day or two sometimes even from i where i live bruce stapley three in plain view of all who hap pen by not to mention that edi tors themselves tend to be a little snoopy in their unending pursuit of all the small town news thats fit to print in addition in our version of small town ontario the local post office itself is still considered by many the place to go to catch up on all the gossip of the day any piece of mail coming through the system is likely to be noticed if it should happen to stand out for whatever reason which is certainly not to intimate that i have anything less than un questioning respect for both the employees who handle such live ly mail and the job they per form why should i leave myself wide open for a lawsuit so when i walked in to collect my correspondence hoping it to be a pat on the backf or my taste in television shows or my aversion- to club soda all i could see was a photograph of a dizzylooking female in a suggestive state of beach attire this obviously could have nothing to do with me i stepped back into the recep tion area and apologizing for my lancome paris introducing fortevital yeux firming eye creme used ever day fortevital yeux helps firm tone and protect the delicate contours of the eye reducing the appearance of aging and pumness oruoiviart itit alid at the following morvs markville shopping centre 5000 highway 7 markham myopia requested the assistance of the office staff in locating the envelope alleged to have been addressed to me now ive got to admit that the look of puzzlement chagrin and outright worry that overcame the countenance of the office mana ger is something i have often been confronted with in times of personal disorientation undaunted i headed back into the office looked again scratch ed my head despite the fact that it wasnt itchy and idly picked up the racy snapshot to my horror i discovered that it was a post card addressed to youknowwho my special bruce it started out it was great to see you here on the beach in california you are such a great surfer hope your sunburn is feeling better say hi to your family the name at the bottom was illegible because it was written on top of the printed line on the post card that read california where im waiting for you to squeeze me this line corres ponded to the boldly printed squeeze me emblazoned on the tee shirt of the beach babe on the front of the card now i know only one friend who was in california when that card was sent so im absolutely certain who sent it and i will get my revenge but in the meantime im afraid im going to have some heavy duty explaining to do if this thing does the grapevine circuit coupon beat the spring rush lennox pulse furnace air conditioner u r control 2 jj 1 4960721 tw authorized gas dealer metro and surrounding area coupon become a carrier conomist sun route of the week i4th ave- route number ua001 total number of houses 44 average monthly income 3400 average annual income 40000 call 2948244 today to set up an appointment to begin this route there are also other routes available in your area