The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

a wht thursday september 29 1977 the second section sports news district news classified section hes making her an offer she cant refuse all grade nine students have to do as theyre told on initiation day even if it means biting into an onion in the picture on the left its almost impossible to tell the girls from the boys the new boys had to wear girls tops stuffed curlers and nylons arid the girls were glamourously attired in long johns shorts work boots and as many pigtails as the hair would allow both sexes were also equipped with a toothbrush and a cleaning cloth and of course a sign that read ill shine your shoes ill wash the floor and love this place forever- more green grade niners get full treatment onions flour toilet tissue at initiation the gym at sdss looked like a bomb had hit it after some of the more exotic activities had taken place here a gradenine girl stoicallv attempts to roll- her toilet tissue down the flourcovered floor towards her team mates annegretlamure waggling their wieners as they sing the oscar meyer song these grade niners ignore the hazing of the initiation committee members who keep demanding that they sing louder its amazing how fast you can crawl when you have an onion in your mouth students didnt need any urging to hurry in the relay race they couldnt wait to pass the nasty vegetable to the next person dennis lee signs books uthor big hit with kids at library by john montgomery stouffville do you like disgusting poems yeah came the enthusiastic high volume reply from the children gathered saturday morning at the town library to hear childrens poet dennis lee read aloud from alligator pie and the new book he is promoting garbage delight this one is really yechy continued mr lee eliciting an even louder affirmative response this one is so horrible i dont think we should he warned by this time there were echoes of please please floating about the room so he launched into suzy grew a moustache suzy grew a moustache a moustache a moustache suzy grew a moustache and polly grew a beard suzy looked peculiar peculiar peculiar suzy looked peculiar and polly looked weird polly got the garden- shears gardenshears the gardenshears suzy got the garden- shears and polly got a bomb now suzys face is smooth again smooth again smooth again suzys face is smooth again and pollys face is gone for some reason you guys are very good at disgusting poems the bearded flashily dressed mr lee complimented the kids mr lees verses irreverent and funny are refreshing in that they avoid the type of treacly pap often foisted off as childrens literature another poem he recited is a paean to being five five ac cording to mr lee is the your children were fascinated by the antics of dennis iee author of alligator pie and garbage delight the the author right age because youre old enough to ride your bicycle around the block but still young enough to suck your thumb also to the delight of the children he recited the last cry of the damp fly bitter batter boop im shimming in soup bitter batter bout kindly get me out bitter batter boon not upon your spoon bitter batter bum now im in your turn mr lee hauled youngsters up on his lap to jostle bounce or twist their noses at the ap propriate part of the verses if the brisk sale of his books at the library saturday is any in- dication his new book will be as popular as alligator pie which is regarded as a childrens classic of nonsense rhymes the- writer autographed copies the only disap pointment was that the books illustrator frank newfeld didnt appear as promised the book is published by macmillan of canada the library program was sponsored by wrdtchurchstouffviue writer was at the stouffville library to autograph copies or public library and john his latest book lords books this youngsters nose was tweaked toaid dennis lee in illustrating a particularly telling poem inspector dogbone gets his man the poem is about the inspector who attempts to apprehend a criminal who eats himselfthe hose was grabbed to emphasi7e the- lfnehis smelly schnozz had vanished down his smelly jaws the inspector who always gets his man was reduced to arresting himself and so ended up in the don ja il tigjjgggrr