Certainly, the joke is on Canada. Think of it! This country looking after the wife and children. while the husband goes abroad to fight against this land, buoyed up by the belief that Canada will care for his family, protecting his other property as wel!l! It may appear to some that the biggest joke is on the wife and children of that German. Who can deny that fate was in prankish humour when it gave them a husband and father with no more true sense of humour than to imagine there was The joke seems to be one of those nasty ones that appear to make everybody the victim. Certainly the joke is on the German who confesses that he is ready to fight for a country where his wife and children can not live in safety â€" not because of foreign aggression but because of the evil govern ment or lack of government of his own people. Surely it is a rare joke on the German who would risk his life, but guard his wife and children.. Hisâ€" tory recounts the humor of men who have fought against their own fathers, sons and brothers. Here is added the case of a man who deliberately chooses to fight against the country that protects his wife and children. A rare joke for a dying year! The Cowichan Leader thinks this last reply an amusing one, butt questions as to the butt of the jJoke. "Of course, I should go home and fight for Gerâ€" many," he replied. The Cowichan Leader, published at Duncar, British Columbia, recently published a paragraph that should rouse general thought in Canada from coast to coast. "Would you take your wife and children back to Germany?" he was further asked. "Oh, no!" was the. response, "I should leave them in Canada where they would be safe!" During the recent war scare, the Cowichan Leadâ€" er says, a German resident of the Duncan district was asked what he would do if hostilities broke out. It has been said about Christmas greetings that there has been nothing new written in the past fifty years and that everything in the way of a Christmas message is covered by the oldâ€"time words:â€""A Merry Christmas." It is true that the manager of a Toronto carnival company sent greetâ€" ings to acquaintances in Timmins in the form of an afidavit in due legal form and with a seal duly affixed, taking his soléemn declaration that he honestly and sincerely wished one and all the comâ€" pliments of the season. Yet for all the documenâ€" tary form and oath and the legal appearance of the message there was no more to it than "A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.‘"‘ A local man sent out a card decorated with dogs. There was a~dog on the front, a couple of dogs on the leftâ€" hand inside page and on the other inner pag» thé word DOG in big letters, the wish being that Good Fortune should Dog every footstep in the preéesent Christmastime and in the years to come. Stilly it was only a different way of saying "A Merty Christmas." In The Advance last week thére were about eighty different messages conâ€" veying greetings, yet one reader suggests that none of them in reality did more than express the wish "A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year." If all this were granted, it would not lower the value of the Christmas wishes. Indeed, it would rather be a tribute to the flexibility of the English language and the inflexibility of the common purâ€" pose of the seasonâ€"that there should be eighty ways to express the one thought, and at the same time.that despite differences in expression there should be so general an aim to extend the same good wish to all. I When it comes to suggesting the wish for a, Happy New Year there seem to be even more ways to phrase the idea than in wishing folks a Merry Christmas alone, or even in the twin hope for Christmas and the New Year. This may be due to the fact that New Year‘s is a favourite Scottish holiday. The Scotiish people have the reputation of giving more thought to the New Year than to the Christmas festival. The explanation for this may be given by some of tne Scottish humorists who are busy in their Aberdeen factory at Christ mas time providing jokes for the New Year holiâ€" day. But, after all, all the good wishes for the New Year can be expressed in the phrase, "A Happy New Year." The man the woman, or the child, who has happiness has all that this world may give. It seems superfluous even to add the suggestion of "prosperity," for true happiness includes material as well as spiritual values. According "A Happy New Year" comprises all the wishes that may be expressed in a hundred or more less prosaic ways. To wish a "Happy New Year‘" in all earnestness and sincerity is to cover the situation completely and agreeably. So, to one and all and all their kin and friends and acquaintances, The Advance wishes, without reserve or restriction, a Happy New Year! Timmins, Ont., Thurs., December 29th, 1938 "OR CANADA‘S CONSIDERATION Bubscription Rates Canadaâ€"$2.00 Per Year. United £ ONTARIO Members Canadian Weekly Newspaper Association: Ontartoâ€" Qurbec Newspaper Association; Class ‘A" Weekly Group OFFICE # â€"â€"â€"â€" PHONES RESIDENCE 70 Published Every Monday and Thursday by: GEO,. LAKE, Owner and Publisher PAE POoOUR Ohe Yorrupine Aduancee United Eta tesâ€"§3. 50 Per Year Certainly, if pedestrians are to be eventually comâ€" pelled by law or selfâ€"protection to decorate themâ€" seilves on the one side (counting from back to front) with a blue light, and on the other side (counting the same way) with a red light, then it seems no more than reasonable that the plan might be tried out on the cattle first. is to be elected to high office, and even that does not always work perfectly. In this motor age, even bicycles and farm wagons are forced to gei all lit up at night. Then why not the cattle on a Ithousand hills, or, at least, those on the streets of Wallaceburg. Any motorist who has had the misfortune to meet or overtake a number of catâ€" tle on the highway will find no difficulty in enâ€" dorsing the Wallaceburg edict and under the head ing of cattle the motorists will eagerly include sheep, pigs, horses and poultry. If only a few cattle use Wallaceburg streets, no serious inconâ€" venience will result from the regulation. If there are many cattle travelling the Wallaceburg roads then some such regulation for safety of the highâ€" way is an absolute essential. There are motorists who go so far as to suggest that even pedestrians should be equipped fore and aft with lights in the night hours. They argue that this might even protect the pedestrians to some extent and that »his ought to be a consideration for pedestrians. means by which they could make p o From Wallacebuxg, Ontario, there comes a {somethmn for themselves and do someâ€" despatch to the effect that all cattle passing | thinz for the Dominion. There were through the streets of that town in the hours of | no bonds, stocks or mortgages to guarâ€" tree repaymenci. And so bankers seâ€" night must be i ed ts p | an 8 equipped with red tail lights, or b |lected their men to carry out likely liable to arrest and fine, or other suitable penal-, projects in the area, including opening ties. The announcement has caused some aston.|Of mines, and advanced the necessary ishment in some circles. It is difficult to underâ€"| [U"3®. in effect, wichout a seratch of 8. ; § ‘he pen, because if the various proâ€" stand how any such ruling should give rise to any j jects failed the signatures of the borâ€" amazement or even question. In these days few |rowers would have been worthless. things from dogs to radios escape license or If Cur correspondent wants further Still fewer, from incomes to coal chutes, escap»® proof of our perhaps the taxation. About the only way to escape taxation / Thoro t©as 1 tfimo twhon it Perhaps, the best joke of all ~ ening of Canadians to the fac of Canadian families, as well as les in this Dominion, is liable a pend on the loyalty of the people !_ With the usual run of jokes, there is little to be gained by attempting to make them clear by dia grams or earnest dissection. If the joke is not apâ€" parent, it is usually as well to pass it, with the thought that it is not a jokeâ€"either because it lacks wit or humour, or because the lack of percepâ€" tion on the part of the person studying the joke makes it witless, at least so far as that one person is concerned. But the alleged joke,. or trio of jokes from British Columbia might well be mapped and studied and discussed by all Canaéians. The allegâ€" ed humour should be carefully weighed and analyzâ€" ed and reduced to the simplest formula so that each loyal son of Canada may understand its every implication and insinuation. The question might well be asked: "Do Germans in Timmins,. in Torâ€" onto, in Montreal, in Ottawa, in other parts of the. Dominion suffer from similar forms of humour?" ‘ This query naturally brings up the other one:â€" "Is Canada content to have it so?" ; There is an old warning against "carrying a joke | too far." This particular joke about Germans fighting against Canada while Canada protectas their families is carried too far when it is merely ‘ mentioned. The Advance can think of a whole' lot of better jokes. For instance, wouldn‘t there | be rare humour (Of aâ€"kind\} in nickins uin fh¢1fl any sense, let alone loyalty, in the idea of battling for a country that denied him and his family the simplest rights and privilegesâ€"fighting the land that offered him freedom, and that he himself ad. mitted was the only land where his wife and chilâ€" aren were secure. WwWANT CATTLE LIT UP song across sceasâ€"â€" . this land and the spite German proâ€" ) room in Canada ationalsâ€"ready to There should be THE PORCUPINE ADVANCR, The Ottawa Journal and a certain or uncertain Toronto newspaper are engaged in argument in regard to the common use of the word "contact‘" E There was a time when it was a rare sight to see Wallaceburg‘s streets. without a large number of 'pedestrians well lit up on all sides. Those days may have passed for Wallaceburg. But those ;who revere the good old days may well be forgiven ‘if they still remember the brave times when few f beings used the streets without being lit up more or less in Wallaceburg, and it may be that in this celebration of other times in Wallaceburg there reposes the secret of the recent move to have all animals in the glass factory town shine at both ends in the night time. Timmins always leads. Others follow. Some months ago a fellow heaved a rock through a jeweler‘s window here and made off with valuable rings. Last week Rouyn had a similar case, a jeweler‘s window in that town being broken and over $4,000 worth of goods being stolen. Next thing, Kirkland Lake or some of the other Northâ€" ern towns will be having a bank holdâ€"up, or someâ€" thing like that. GRAVEL AND SANDâ€"AND PLACER X( When Banking Was â€" on Character Basis 2111 oSKs or mortgao ie fellow who ha As a maiter‘of fact, referencs to the rly days in the mining arzsas of Briâ€" h Columbia and the Yukon confirms st what we have said about the conâ€" tions under which banking is now rried on in Canada, and we have iny times referred to that perind *0o verb. The Ottawa newspaper made gentle money anywhere in the country t the character and a‘>ility of the who came with that epochial rush sot their wits to finding some *The noted American author, Pearl Buck the Nobel prize in literature for 1938 fre Sweden in Stockholm. n of other lines :« instance, in Nels hen the first | pemed (and, by th f Monlreal bran nt was domiciled E a barber‘s shop the roag bo inform 1â€"v0 US DY A COrrespondent ts co recent comment upon id to the original editorial on editorial page of The Globs to which wereferred and enâ€" e suggests chat 1898â€"an ocra g to which ho «reforsâ€"was OpinIior initiati 1: whe lue up | Globe and M o acknowledgs us by a coar 1n and abili mplz>tely i1ln reas, today Oollateral. bi the way of s.â€" Inâ€"~other )Y tha RECEIVES NOBEL PRIZE upon which in the coun ‘Tel can g i drsam id ISs now nd have hat period ito character, inâ€" ‘e onc2 bankâ€" relo born DU i compliâ€" ‘spondent ent upon BT; 1 l er, 11â€" bankâ€" othing eviâ€" bonds, words, Ore WC plac cthe Noted Doctor Says Home is the Source of Habit The fir icquire of mad 1 they are solely appraisors values. Our correspondent ports everything we ha said upon the subject, a repsat that in our opinion pity cthe banks of the day fully advance help upon : tangible collaterals as in days. <â€" In this new â€" cou min>s are all we can hC ceecdin| studen Ban pal this country sperity fro l'_\‘ ds or crops Dominion, de mcceptab early days 26 bseari res hitr correspondent unwitcingly supâ€" verything we have previously on subject, and we again that in our opinion it is a great > banks of the day do not careâ€" then 11 ha rn, and un here is m Mo 1 Y pondent, but we again reâ€" look upon present bankâ€" as calculated to retard of any new country. If we n a measure, go back to methods, Canada would a prosperity hi‘herto unâ€" 0 something really fundaâ€" nd toward absorbing over f is present total populaâ€" iecmploved and seething 11 we can hope for from orth co create demand for ps grown in other pan‘s of n, the characteristics that able banking collaveral in ys are really just as valuâ€" and unless they are again re is mighty poor chance ry over gaining maximum rom" ‘the‘â€" vass country, believe to be largely minâ€" which can only be brought by the prospector and his in the initial stagses. 5. Bankt human : stLOme®rs C iid off al enabled who 1 Most of the local stores observed Boxing Day on Tuesday this year, though some of them took adâ€" vantage of the opportunity to get a good start on the annual stockâ€"taking. Al The beginning of the New Year is the time to| make good resolutions. The rest of the year may be devoted to keeping them. That is, if it is conâ€" venient. minion ol a British ist on "Peorsonality Preâ€"School Child." embeor issue of the 11 ippea NE Patridge‘s new dictionary of slang says it is fast becoming standard English." Accordingly the| controversy between the Toronto and Ottawa | newspapers now resolves itself into the questionl as to whether or not it is desirable for Ministers of the Crown to use "standard slang" in state documents. It would appear poor policy, as well as English, for Government documents to be deâ€" corated with "labour" and "honour" in the estabâ€" lished style, and then debased and degraded by standard slang. protest against a Minister of the Crown suggestâ€" ing that one man "contacted" another, without a collision occuring. The certain or uncertain Toâ€" ronto newspaper setks io leave the impression that the use of "contact‘"‘ as a verb is good enough English for Dominion Cabinet Ministers. _ The only authority given for such an attitude by the certain or uncertain newspaper is that "U. S. DV n aâ€" large® pa il min*sâ€"such + ; GLucky: Jinm‘ : ~*We aj pend the ) many people character on me,. it is interâ€" n 1894â€" the lat« 1€ slCKY JIm and ie one of the the bank, with a credit estabâ€" e borrower to effort in sucâ€" were primarily ure then; now ‘s of~ tangible untry 1e same inâ€" the early try, â€" where e for from tae great ig habits jends hi perm ‘egeneraus again reâ€" nt bankâ€" to retard try. If wo ) back to is Interâ€" i British 1ll lai â€" Geor nim Ho T‘woâ€"inâ€"One Mine Taken | by the Troup Porcupine trict, have approved of a deal involving <he taking over of the proparty by the ~Troup Porcupine Mines. The Twoâ€"Inâ€"One _ will receive $10,200 cash and 4986,511 shares of venâ€" dor stock of the Troup Porcupine. The property consists of 25 patented claims and three unpatented claims on which patents will be tak>n out in April, locaced in the heart of the Porcupine camp. In addition., it is anticipated that six adjoining claims will be taken over, which will give the company a waterhead of rivers runâ€" ning through the properties. Diamond Toronto, Dac. 28.â€"Special Advanceâ€"Sharcholders of th One Mining Company, Pore trict., have approved of a dea to life wh duct." climatt hop> to live or children in an personality for homs and th ecveory effort to ma Slowly fold a iC 11 * A booklet containing 18 of these historical sketches will be mail you on request. 1t enta‘ls absolutely no cost or obligation. Just ad a card or letter to The Canada Life Assurance Company, Toronto. cho s soon as begins ¢ Canada‘s Oldest Life Assurance C(;mpauy In October, 1877, Hugh C. Baker of Hamilton, son of the founder of the Canada Life, leased the first telephone instrument for commercial use in Canada. ‘Three subscribers started the first telephone exchange in the British Empire.* Thirty years before this epochâ€"making event the Canada Life issued its first policy. It was the first Canadian life insurance company and remained alone in the field for almost twenty years. With the same enterprise so apparent in pioneer days, the Canada Life continues to safeguard the future of its policyholders and their dependents. Each week, an average of five hundred thousand dollars is distributed to those it serves. Harry R. Jenkins, Timmins, F. K. Hepburn, South Poreupine Representatives pmer arnin pa m ht . to tsach them bott>r. as a child is born, cthe hoaome s creating in him a spiriutal iching him basic reactions h will later govern his conâ€" Y jlem ( em( iadil patierns. The foundâ€" 1e has received Gduring his ife will to a greas extent ib 11 ‘riencte. Parents cannot e way and instruct their her. Children, in their mation, will reflect their tir parents in spite of Aroug W. HARE, Manager, Kirkland Lake Branch wa emoticnal _(« ‘r. The day out from his onser a now buildin aching na hrow1 btu ) T woâ€"In ipine dis mis comâ€" ay comos w world mors or Th and West The duchess who n the British Ho in reâ€"cont pendent in oppo Minister Chamberl jey,. lost to W. Conservative. Tess: "You can you hear."‘ Boss: repeat it." Uulode and Mail: Anthony couldn‘t have received a more f1 ing reception from Washington graphers if he had been a movie drilling and other exploratory work expecied to start shortly. Officers of Troup Porcupine incli William R. Hill, presidsnt; Roy Tro viceâ€"prosident; Albert O. L. Burne sscretaryâ€"treasurer, and A. H. Beat: and A. A. Skelly., directors. The Duchess « s defeated by niUijss and Nes THURSDAY. DELCEMBEN %TH 14 Pine St. N. Just as businessmen take stock at this time of year so that they know how they stand before launching into another business yvear, so it is advisable for a person to check up on their physical wellâ€"being. For your welâ€" fare and happiness it is essential that you have good eyesight. Arrange now to have your eyes examined. If glasses are necded it is much better to wear them now rather than wait until continued strain has weakâ€" ened your eyes beyond corâ€" rection. TERMS MAY BE ARRANGED AND PRICES ARE LowEr A'l\ Take stock now! Loses Byâ€"Election ESS WAOo T( ‘itish Hou: ) reâ€"conte: n opposi of Atholl BI1t1O01 ain‘s 1 McNal N3 Phone 835 mm o h indeâ€" Pritir zn polâ€" nadden ine Roy Troup L. Burnese o 3M UA clection 16r sea! noâ€" tar.