The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

C E. 2. AP, S SA . . S E. S N: SE * T oT o ~ TN T N NR ) P JCfi@fi%%% 4 4 2 B /T. â€" (@ Christmas Section 1# 4OA N * SSSSSSSw Fourth Avenue Third Avenue TIMMINS GARAGE CO. LIMITED UNDER NEW MANAGEMENTâ€"PAUL URSAKI, Proprietor A Herry Ebristmas Your friendship makes our business all the more pleasant. With our gratiâ€" tude for your patronage during the past year we extend to you our most cordial wishes for We heartily extend you our Best Wishe: for the merriest of Yuletides, and exâ€" press our appreciation for your loyalty and coâ€"operation during this past year May the spirit of Christmas stay with you throughout the Coming Year, and guide you to greater health, wealth and contentment _than you have ever known. That is our Christmas Wish. Happi New: RINGSTON HOTEL attn iUrar Timimins Timmins (@ "wheres yo gwine?" was tug quesâ€" tion, as Erastus passed by wikth a goodâ€"sized Christmas tree. "I‘s been where I‘s gwine," was the rather enâ€" igsfatical answer.â€"C. G. Hazard. a 35 4 UI joUEUWUW JNOA Pa[IOS JAE!II J peIJE ULI, ut surouwu .ssuad 4 rewu nb 4t06s tton,, ‘pies ol put ‘paws IIS UJYL pue 3001 utep e 114S JoU PaÂ¥JII aus Y[2MA OJ 49q Uoon 0j pniu 3y} UI stu 3nd s uomm fep oaug ‘Ueuu 911| â€"~â€"od 10A t put Jol[aitl} 1j8918 t seA US19(EM IJ#I8M IIS,, :001 11 .23 01 aytI pmoys am ury} Ol Ralcigh and Quecen Bess It was in a masterly essay that a pupil wrcie, "Luther was a great and good man, but after a diet of worms he said, ‘So help me God, I can take what peop triplets," is himself. Hi th to make delightful puddings" was the way he summarized the matter.. Ask a friend what he knows about Elijah, and the chances are, he‘ll be stumped. But:«a tiny mite: of a lad found the question casy: "Elijah was the man who went for a cruise with a widow." But then, we can‘t expect to comâ€" pete wi‘h the freshness and brilliance of the juvenile mind. As one bright young maiden put it: ‘"We get our parâ€" pnts at so late an age, that it is imâ€" ossible to change their habits." Of course, it is.. Just the same, even the thoughts of the brightest children get a trifle muddled at ‘"Pardon" had been telling iihe tragic tale of Ananias and Sapphira, that he asked, "Why is not everyone who vells a lic struck dead?" Like a shot came the answer from a bright younsg Scot: "Beâ€" cause threre wouldn‘t be naebody left." In the opinion of one small boy, "Artificial perspiration is the way uo make a person alive when he is just dead." A brief but picturesque definiâ€" tion of the spine is given by an anatâ€" omist of tender years: ‘"The spine is the bone in your back; your head sits on one end of it, and you sit on the other." You may have had doubts about the utility of Euclid, particularly when you were studying it. Biut the great mathemavician and all his works wrre disposed of in six words by one bright student: "Euclid is used to biâ€" sect angels," he wrote. More "Rloomers" who wrote of goodâ€"natiured ceazing irom the pedaâ€" How could he claim to be a Canadian if he had been born in China? Would it not be better to enter his name on the roegister as Chinese? And so forth. At last ‘the young man struck back: "If I were really Chinese," he countered, "I would be proud of it, of course. But after all, if some little kittens were born in an oven, vhey wouldn‘t be biscuits, would they?" After that, the teacher threw up his arms in complets surrender. A subsequers hunt for other speciâ€" mens of juvenile humor was rewarded with an article appearing in Chamber‘s Journal for May, 1931. In our modest opinion, ths reward was a ric‘s one, for some of the examples, we thought, were irresistibly funny. A Quick Seot Answers "What proof have we from the Sceripâ€" tures vthat it is not lawful for a man to have more than one wife?" a Sunâ€" day school teacher queried earnestly of her class. ‘"Please, ma‘am," a wee girl responded with equal gravity, "the Bible says ‘No man can serve two masâ€" ters‘." It was after ancther teacher had been telling iihe tragic tale of Ananias and Sapphira, that he asked, "Why is not everyone who vells a lie struck dead?" â€"Like a shot came the Nor did the life and discoerits of a modern man of science, present any biographical or other complexities to ancther yoaung mind: "Marconi is used Dieu parucuiar ed none qf tributes of Christmas Review of Schoolboy Howlers 11} Writer Finds Them a Priceâ€" less Source of Mirth. nedical fri ubject of Whiere cvuhner coursel! able enough. ew his histor nry VIII as > world has ERANS~TVUS‘ CHRISTMA® TREE op )1 THE PORCUPINE ADVANCE, TIMMINS, ONTARIO hoolbo 11 \ CHNIS ©Oountl nfusin pa 1 has heard ‘ â€"Walter, still sml mon droit," which ‘My God, you‘re : 10( 21 rammar "Is when t sufferer, for exampl Free" Translation that ‘"‘The King‘s pardon is > apply for when they have cemvainly entitled to pardon By Percy Ghent) lovely story told {o us ond that started us on schoolboy "howlers." vory, nevertheless, pos the absurdity or othe: a howlor. It was pa e wit and wisdom. thous @â€"â€"Ver s, hay humo! s. â€" i PASSIY f one child giv ust tit samt, cven the e brightest children get epd ~at {imes. â€" ‘"‘Pardon" for ecxample, are apt to Hence, the schoolboy tâ€"‘"‘The King‘s pardon is ev of ifter a diet of worms ) me God, I can take "_ Which seems reasâ€" And that boy certainly y when he described the "greatest widower ver known." And if f a more original verâ€" Of Sir Walier Raleigh‘s ie following, we should first interview with nlivened with a izing from the pedaâ€" 1 he claim to be a CIOWC| 0o heayv 1 cceâ€"transiations ir own flash of ?ax in bello" is "freedom from [ giving vallant when the subâ€" milin ng, said: means in ont‘." 11 packs )]} CA Tha AmMm Brewed in England‘s Yuletid wassail bowls are baked apples, hot ale seaâ€" soned with spice, orange juice and rind and whipped eggs. (By L. P.) All babies born on Christmas Day in some hospitals are given Noel as a second name, and it is the custom in some for girls to be named Christine. Mothers in on» provincial hospital are advised to call baby girls Mary. A child born to a couple named Day was registered as Pudding Day, and a Mr. and Mrs. Duck named their daughter Pudding Duck; but in after years she became plain Sarah. Other Clhristmas Day names are Almond, Carol, Holly, Merry, and Valencia; is at least one name in the Somâ€" erset House registered as Merry Christâ€" mas. A few years back the father of a Christimas Day boy wished him to be christened King Wenceslas, under the impression that the king was a saint; bix, he was persuaded to select Joseph. There is the Society of Noel!lâ€" ites whose membership is confined to those born on Christmas Day, and some years ago it offered to adopt every Christmas cay child in Dr. Barnâ€" ardo‘s Homes; only one out of 6,000 youngsters on ibhe books was found to be eligib‘e. Only two persons accepted a wealthy North Countryman‘s invitaâ€" tion to dinner for all who were born on Christmas Day. ng suth Tun! The fire chief his work; He snickered «: with a jerk, And laying a f And, giving a the hose!" f He jumped in his car, sounded siren and whistle And away he then flew like the down from â€"x"thistle. Then things all w next I came to I was : on. tlic motor crew; The house was sti rvery one, wWoere dancing and ing such fun! I stood there agha Aunt Nell Sweeped shrough skates, going pellâ€" She upset the tree sparks from a wi I in an inst: on fire! t00o He‘d helped little Oscar sled, And had quile a gash his head; He‘d also been playin bert‘s skis. And â€" murmuredâ€" quit ambulance please!" Next grandpa came wallowing out of the bathâ€" (I never had seen any man in such wrath) â€" He looked all awash; he was all dripâ€" pinz wet, His clothes were all soused; he was I rushed for the phone and had just turned around j When mother crashed into the room a bound, Pursued by a child with a rifle. Oh, well, It seems that, to please him, she played William Tell; The apple was okay but mother was notâ€" lnere wasn‘t a shadow of aoun been shot; The kid was still shotsing his â€"how merry! He yelled, ‘"Play some more, m funny, ma, very!" angry, yCl Dot: It served him quige right; any man is a dub When he tries to sail children‘s toy boats in the tub! And I heard him exclaim to his smokeâ€" eating boys. ‘Well, adults will play with the kids‘ Christma‘s toys!" â€"â€"Anonvymnmous. But a man H( Then.out "of.â€"‘hisâ€"room > 1 Uncle Lew, His arm in a sling and one na And arroOw. .. had come from the bow of his own little ladâ€" knew in a moment it must be poor dad! ENGLAND‘S WASSAIL BOWL®S About Christmas Babes Twas Night After Christmas 11 e lhhouse looked a wreck: there were icns everywhere pened Te door co see what was he matter; d what to my wondering eves should LV L Oll m A WIre in instant he floor of Mig 11 rible l]l went black, and when finge nod W ind cheering and hay ie world that St. Nick pellâ€"mell still tress and devoid of all hadow of doubt she‘d hast when my aged tood and completed AFTER Clwristmas e home headache wherever ash on the room tottered old aside of his nost, he said, "Roll up on â€" Ned‘s rollet cords to see what was iwn with a pulâ€" of his back stuck then he turned there arose such the house was weaklv try out a new the corridotr with there were le fotr x omm TRAAA the kids I think top of Ethelâ€" The fun Thursd nd, 193