| 14 THE OSHAWA TIMES, Wednesday, April 8, 1967 ANN LANDERS Well - Can Be Thoughtless call you had something in your col umn from a person who was self - conscious around grief stricken people and didn't know what to say when he made a condolence call. As I remem ber, you said, 'Be brief. Say 'I'm sorry,' and let your pres ence say the rest." My father passed away last week and now I would like to add something to your advice. I would like to tell people what NOT to say. Don't go up to a woman whose husband has just died | personal, no subject too deli- and say, 'You are still young/cate. No response is the best and attractive. You will meet| response. Silence can be deafen- |F some nice man and get mar- ried again." Don't say to the sons, "Now it's up to you to take care of your mother. You must take your father's place." No son can take his father's place in the life of his mother and it's dumb to suggest it. Thank you, Ann, for letting me have my say. -- STILL GRIEVING Dear S.G.: It's hard to be-| lieve people can be 60 insensi- tive. And the odd thing is that these lunkheads mean no harm. Forgive them, and learn from their mistakes. Dear Ann Landers: I am sorry your column doesn't ap- pear on the front page. What I have to say ought to be read by everyone who can read. I have been married only a few months, The minute I re- turned from my honeymoon the women in the office began to ask me if I was pregnant yet. When I stayed home with the flu last week I received five calls from friends who said, "T'll bet you are pregnant." id, hi hI, type di is ed ve Dear Ann Landers: Last year Meant Advice asked if it was a maternity) dress. Then the office manager came by and said, 'The new styles are perfect for covering up pregnancy. You could be in the eighth month and nobody could see a thing." »| What is wrong with these peo- ple? Why don't they mind their, own business? Can you come) up with an Ann Landers' type) answer that will shut them up?) --NOTHING TO ANNOUNCE |; Dear N.T.A.: Nothing will dish types, no question is too joes | He | shut them up. For certain clod- ies | Dear Ann Landers: Usually 9 jyour advice is right on the bu ton, but recenNy you dis-| lappointed me. A young bride} wrote and said she felt ill at ease calling her in-laws Mr.} and Mrs. Jones. You suggested | that she offer to call them) either mom and dad Jones or |by their first names. I have been married for four) years and IJ am still calling my husband's parents Mr. and Mrs. Jones simply because they have never asked me to call them anything else. It is not up to the daughter- or son-in-law to make the first move. The in-laws should ask the new member of the family to call them mom and dad. This is a sign of acceptance. I feel very much an outsider,| and I am certain that this is| their way of letting me know); I am just that--UNACCEPTED |; Dear Unaccepted: You are/6 |Maple Syrup Pie is a delectable climax to a springtime dinner. The home economists of the Canada Department of Agricul- |ture tell us that the smooth, irich filling may be covered with meringue or, as pictured suggest that the new member)? of the family call them mother}1 There Is Nothing As Canadian As Delicious Maple Syrup Pie It's maple time again and this HARBINGER OF SPRI} By IDA JEAN KAIN "When I get upset or de- pressed, I find myself in the kitchen with something to eat in my hand," a young mother "4 \explains, and seeks help. She writes: 4\ "T have a problem with which I don't know how to contend, I am 25, 5' 4%", weigh 150 pounds. We have a daughter al- most five, and a son nine months, Our daughter weighs 75 pounds. Everytime I go to the kitchen she is right behind me, wanting milk and cookies. I hate being fat, and reduced nce, but regained it all. | "My husband works night and jalternate week-ends, so when I jneed him to talk with, he is gieither at"work or sleeping. I tried to talk it over with my sister, but she has the same |weight trouble. My mother and one sister are slim, but my fa- jther was heavy until he died. \I take after my father and gain jeasily. 'My husband's work schedule narrows our social life. If I get a chance to go somewhere, |when I get home my husband lis awake and irritable because he can't sleep when he knows we are gone. I feel tied down and he makes me feel terrible {when I complain, saying he doesn't get to go anywhere either. But he has someone to and talk with besides the children. Canada Dept. of Agriculture boiler. Combine flour | water, stirring until smooth. heated syrup and cook, stirring constantly until thickened, about 10 minutes. Add a little jof the hot mixture to the beat- len egg yolks, then add to re- Gradually add flour mixture to o'clock at night and wants to "He gets up at nine or ten see the children. If they stay jup that late, they cry, he yells, jand I'm a nervous wreck. I feel llike I'm tied up in knots. I jwake in the morning tense, here, with whipped cream top-|maining mixture in double boil-|nervous, feeling terribly inse- ped with walnut pieces. MAPLE SYRUP PIE baked pie shell (8-inch) cup maple syrup tablespoons flour right. It is up to the in-laws to} 14 cup water egg yolks tablespoon butter jer. Continue cooking 3 or 4/cure and alone. I want to go jminutes longer. Remove from)to church, but IT can't get into heat, stir in butter and nuts.|my clothes. I can't seem to get |Cool slightly and pour into|-- a |baked pie shell. lfq | mer) Beat egg whites and salt until | soft. peaks form. Gradually) |beat in % cup sugar until) {meringue is stiff and glossy. and dad, ry Three girls came over CHILD GUIDANCE Basis Of Good Manners Is Consideration Of Others' Rights) By GARRY C. MYERS, PhD The child who, at five, nine or 14, has good manners wher- ever he happens to be, Jearned them chiefly at home, It need not have been a home of afflu- ence. This home need not have been in a suburban area. It could be in the slums. Nobody needs to be rich in order to have good manners. Ofcourse, parents living in the so-called better economic areas may themselves be more gensitive to good manners, 5ee- ing that g' manners in their children win the family social status. But the most civil and courteous children you and I know may have parents who are poor economically and so cially ved, We know, alas, some dren with bad man- ners whose parents are rich, and who are economically and socially favored. Man: rents with material Prone Any think of good man- ners in children as a kind of social veneer such as acting properly at a banquet, ball or party, or when guests are in; greeting the hostess, saying goodbye to her on leaving, and using the right utensils while eating. While such special niceties can prove useful, some chil- dren who learn them well may have atrocious manners in hun- manners can be added unto it. "Tt is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle a vailing philosophy end practice good manners. GOOD TABLE MANNERS It's important, of course, for the child to learn and practice good table manners early and constantly. But let us be rea- sonable with him, Let us re- member that it is not easy for the tot to handle a spoon, fork or knife as skillfully as we adults can. Many parents ex- pect too much of the young child in this direction. In a comfortable family atmosphere, in which he enjoys his food, he, with his great eagerness to grow up, will gradually ac- quire these skills. Let us set the stage so the growing child will easily dis- cover that as he acquires good table manners others eating with him will enjoy him more and more; that our urging him to exercise good table manners is not for our selfish satisfac- tion but for his greater happi- ness in the long run. ANSWERING QUESTIONS dreds of other everyday situa- tions--at a store, or movie thea- tre, circus or ball game, or on the street. Many may be rude to other persons in a bus, air- plane or airport, to other per- sons wearing clothes less ex- pensive or stylish than their own; to persons of a race or color or ethnic background dif- ferent from their own. Basically, good manners are built in the child on his con- stant consideration of the rights and feelings of all other per- sons anywhere. Most books and columns on good manners rarely emphasize this -- basic foundation of good manners; they dwell chiefly on the veneer of good manners, on the me- chanics of courtesy instead of the heart and spirit. of it. BUILT AT HOME © This foundation of good man- ners is built in the home with parents who set a good exam- ple and guide their children companionably in exercising constant thoughtfulness and consideration for other persons everywhere. All this pre-supposes that the child needs to learn at home self-control. Now self - control doesn't come by magic. It comes when the child from his early years continues to ac- quire some basic inhibitions, learns most of all to respect the little word NO in a family at- mosphere of love and under- standing. Let us parents seek first to help the child learn this alphabet of good manners. Then all other things called good ENCORE LADIES' WEAR N Also Com: sade me JOAN'S BOUTIQUE At the Top of the Stoirs 22 Simcoe St. S$. -- Oshawa Q. What is most important for helping the infant learn to A. Providing him with a serene and comfortable and companionable feeling in our presence, or by their first) 1 This morning I wore a tent-/names. This is unquestionably | ress which, as you know,|a sign of acceptance and I hope|9 fi sour in-laws see this letter and| andjhop to it. of excessive permissiveness|cion of with young children are hardly| mini Windsor chair, a love-seat- favorable for them to acquire|<size replica of an Edwardian tional) egg whites Dash salt | % cup sugar Heat maple syrup in double 4, cup chopped walnuts (op- |Spread over pie and bake in a 425 degree F. oven, until lightly browned, about'5 minutes. Pie may be also topped with whip- ped cream instead of meringue jand topped with walnut pieces. Mini - Furniture Next To Go Mod By ELEANOR ROSS ashion's "'mini" look is mov- ing into the world of furniture. This is a trend directly opposite to the massive mode. "Mini" »lapplies to more of everything but in capsule form, The young than for a child who has always |jively look shows up in furniture done about as he pleased tojof a reduced scale and fine- good manners. The pre-|boned quality. It is almost a diminutive ver- regular furniture--a sofa, a sexy little upholstered tufted boudoir chair, a tiny TV set, as well as 'mini' benches and hassocks, which together with small pillows, provide Colors are bold and a lot of black and white is shown in these fabrics, many of whose patterns resemble animal skins, JUNGLE CALL | Furry fabrics are still ex-| tremely popular, the call of the jungle is loud and clear. And the exotic jungle also makes it- self seen in undulating primitive florals in pulsating color com- binations. Not for the timid or the rigid traditionalist! Glass and mirrors play their part in the shiny glittering pan- orama, on modern furniture as well as the more sedate and traditional pieces. See-through glass tables with highly bur- nisied steel underpinnings mirrored Jamps and other ac. cessories add to the genera! sparkle, contrasting with the |try skewers. When finished, re- WIFE PRESERVER | If cake layers slide while while you're putting on the top frosting, anchor with long poul- move and smooth over the tiny| holes. | niture. Some tables are actually upholstered to the legs, usually in vinyl polka dots, zebra stripes or fantastic floral mot- ifs. Plastic finishes are being used on furniture and loom large for future application. Painted furniture is more prevalent, a departure from the dark wood tones, as are the ne whblond finishes used on both modern and traditional pieces. Selecting new furniture is like vicking out the latest in stylish KEEP IN TRIM ™ Remove Daily Frustrations To Successfully Reduce up. the courage to make it to church on my own with the chil- dren. I end up depressed and I eat. If you have a solution I will be forever grateful." MUST FACE PROBLEM An excess 25 pounds is not to be taken lightly, but it is the reason back of the eating that you need to face. When frus- trated, it is easy to turn to eat- ing to dull dissatisfactions and quiet anxieties. This solves noth- ing. Intimidated by the fact that your husband works hard, you feel you have no right to voice objections, But the happiness of your family is at stake. Weight is not the real issue, but it is easier for you to define this as a weight problem than it is to place the trouble on the unhappy situation, Try to define in your own thinking what changes can be made. Take your courage in hand, talk quietly with your husband about your frustrations. Bring them out, otherwise you will take them out in excessive eating. Neither of you are finding joy in life, and there is little mutual support. The children's lack of rest unnerves the whole family. You live near a city where counseling is available. A ses- sion or two with a trained per- son can restore your perspec- tive. With 'confidence bolstered, you can deal effectively with your weight. You'll be able to cope with the situation and build| a happy, life for your family.! Bless you, my dear. THE STARS SAY By ESTRELLITA FOR TOMORROW Stick to routine affairs now, and don't expect too much on any front. it will be just an average day--nothing too dis- jturbing, nothing spectacu- lar, Family interests, however, will prove more pleasing than others. FOR THE BIRTHDAY If tomorrow is your birthday, your horoscope indicates that, where occupational matters are concerned, this year should be far more satisfying than was last; also that you should find working conditions more to your liking. In financial affairs, how- ever, adhere to yur innate common sense and do not let over-enthusiasm, due to inter- mittent gains, cause you to go overboard in spending or in speculation of any kind. This will be especially important during August and November. Best periods for advancing your monetary status will occur between now and May 15th; also during the last two weeks in July, between Sept. 15 and Oct. 10, and from Oct. 23 through Nov. 15. Consolidate gains then, and look forward to the first of next February, when you will enter an excellent two- month cycle for adding to as- sets. Progress and recognition on the job and (or) business front is forecast during the first three jweeks of July, during the weeks between Sept. 1 and Oct. 10 and those between Oct. 23 and Nov. 15; also in late January. Cre- ative workers should have a generally good year, with June, August and next January out-| standing for unique accomplish- ment, Phone 723-1163 and Stretch Your Dollar CHAMBERS FOOD LTD. 933 Ritson Rd. S., Oshewe -- ! am interested in your food plan, coll at: NAME ADDRESS DATE points of interest in rooms. This petite furniture fills in an "extra" pieces and gives a pleasing balance to a room that has massive items. Of course, it is a natural for small areas. Another important change in upholstery is weltless cushions, eliminating the rigid look of the past and emphasizing the fash- ionably rounded billowing con- tours of upholstered furniture, ROUNDED EDGES New latex foam cushions are molded with rounded front edges, rather than the tradi- tional box edge, to suit the weltless look. They provide the durable, neat, easy-care fea- plushy, opulently cushioned fur- clothes. i designs, colors mé 11% King Si } DRESS UP YOU and HOME Fine Dress and Drapery Fabrics in the latest | HOUSE of FABRIC 725-4551 OPEN FRIDAY TILL 9 725-4551 rfabrics treet East, Oshawa, Ontarie tures of traditional latex foam cushions. The shiny wet look so popular in fashion is now seen in the new furniture, Indeed, for the first time in decades, furniture styles seem to be running neck and neck with the foibles of fashion. Many of the shiny up- holstery fabrics are of vinyl or patent leather, some in "op" chevron, polka dot, or kinet- ically striped patterns. YWCA SPRING COURSES Millinery -- Mondays -- 1:30 - 3:30; 7:30 - 9:30 for 6 weeks Adv. Dressmaking -- Tuesdays -- 1:30 - 3:30; 7:30 - 9:30 for 6 Patterns --- Wednesdays -- for 4 weeks 1:30 - 3:30; 7:30 - 9:30 weeks Instructor -- Mrs. E, Oscapella Classes start April 10, 11, 12 For Information Call Prog. Office 723-7625 International Hair Stylist Platform Artist LONDON PARIS VIENNA Now at... 27 Celina Street 728-0662 OSHAWA SHOPPI Fashions since 1867 SPECIAL PURCHASE three plece pantsutt Printed hopsack wonder for the junior swinger. Belt is inter- changeable. Wild variety of fashion colours. 7-14 Regular 16.98 Special NG CENTRE CENTENNIAL MODEL 620 WITH DELUX CABINET MODEL 349 by Singer. Store-wide specials on come plete range of other Singer products. Pay as little as 1.25 a week with convenient Singer Credit. Every item brand new, fully guaranteed, If you can't come in, call for shop-at-home service. Has Your Food Dollar Lost It's S-t-r-e-t-c-h-? Guaranteed To Save You $100.00 Year THE FOOD PLAN THAT "HAS PROVEN ITSELF The fabulous Golden Touch & Sew* zig-zag sewing machine LE) FOOD CLUB Please have your Representative | Seer neeeeeeenenens ewes ewweee last 3 days! its Sale-a-thon Time 20 Personal interests will be gov-|Set It on high and alm the noz-_ erned by generally good aspects|zle where the frost is thickest. for most of the year ahead, with emphasis on romanee, dur- ing the next two weeks, through- out May, August and nex} Jan- uary; on travel in mid-June, the last two weeks in August, early September and between Decem- ber 15 and Jan. 15. A child born on this day will be endowed with great opti- mism and self-cofidence; also an unusual appreciation of the esthetic. / THAT LASTS" LADIES' WEAR At the Top of the Stairs 22 Simcoe St. S. OSHAWA ENCORE touch, 84 character keyboard, 2-color ribbon, automatic SPECIAL ribbon reverse, 5-year warranty. 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