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14 THE OSHAWA TIMES, Thursdey, March 16, 1967 Dear Ann Landers: Every now and then you hit me be- tween the eyes. You did it again yesterday when you wrote: "Some people get nothing out of therapy but big doctor bills. Others find a whole new life." Can you tell me why this is so? I went to a psychiatrist for three months and could see no sign of progress. When I told the doctor how discouraged I was he said my attitude toward the sessions was poor and he could do nothing more for me. So I stopped going. Now I feel I have failed again. Please tell me, Ann, why does therapy work for some people and not for others?--A Landers Fan Dear Fan: Everywhere we look we find mediocrity --and less. This goes for lawyers, carpenters, hairdressers, sur- geons, writers, artists, stenoz- raphers -- the list is endless. Why then expect all psychia- trists to be splendid? I can tell you they are not. Moreover, it is unrealistic to assume that every psychiatrist will click with every patient. A psychiatrist is a human being with aggressions and irritabili- ties and, yes--problems. If he is a competent therapist he will recognize the patients with whom he cannot establish a ANN LANDERS Psychiatrist - Patient Personalities Clash the third one produced the miracle, Dear Ann Landers: What can a mother do when she sees her 14-year-old daughter making the same mistakes she made when she was 14? Marnie was born out of wed- lock. I was a wild, unmanage- able runabout who got into every kind of trouble you can name. I wouldn't listen to any- body. I was terribly lucky to meet a saint of a man who loved me enough to forgive my past. I hope and pray Marnie will be as lucky as I was, but until she settles down I am afraid I'll lose my mind. I've talked to Marnie many times, telling her of my own experiences, and I've begged her to learn from them. I might just as well talk to the wall. She came home last night dead drunk. Her clothes were a mess and she wasn't making any sense. It was a miracle she remembered where she _ lived and which bus to take. If you have any advice for me I would appreciate it very much, -- History Repeating It- self. | With female surfers indeed more SURF OR SAND midriff fitted shape. to The 'Daisy Lace" print to slim, trim and surf bunny, too. The one at the left is in- made in a firm knit cordu- creasing in number rapidly, two - piece. bare swimsuits are taking on a new, more interesting and more snugly - There is them without being restric- tive and they are extreme- ly flattering and terrifically good looking. Here are two examples of smart suits de- signed for the surfer... roy in such yummy color combinations as dark orange with pink trim, brass with blue and light green with yellow trim. the right has sharp boyleg trunks and comes in a pink, yellow or blue background pattern with contrast- ing plain trim around the bra and top of pants. Both come in sizes 8 to 16. --By Tracy Adrian Dear History: Get some out- side help with Marnie immedi- ately. A 14-year-old who comes home dead drunk is clearly out good relationship and turn them /of conirol. Getting her on the over to a colleague. right track will require the) THE STARS SAY By ESTRELLITA Your psychiatrist should not|guidance of someone with whom |FOR TOMORROW : have let you go without givingjshe has no émotional attach-/ A generally good period. See & real upswing along these some clue as to why you pro-|ment. duce such a sense of hopeless- ness in other people (including him). My advice is to try an- other therapist. I have known individuals who did poorly with|the success of people you don't the first two psychiatrists but/l ike? CHILD GUIDANCE Sibling Jealousy Checked you. |There could be some delays in| Confidential to Do You Believe|°2!TYing out plans in the fore-/in mind, too, that it would be| In Luck? Of course I believe in|"00n, but planetary influences/most inadvisable to make any luck, How else can you explain |!ater in the day favor business/loans in late May, to be out of transactions, dealings with su-|all speculative interests by the! periors and seeking favors from)first week in June and to resist those in a position to benefit)all temptations toward extrava-| FOR THE BIRTHDAY etary affairs By Understanding Love By GARRY C. MYERS, PhD |daughter to show more affec- Jealousy can be a very seri-/tion to the baby with her hands. ous ie ae = : bog Try to get the daughter to cause a youngster under to do great physical harm to a bring' you vreoig you need while baby, even threatening its life,|YOu are caring for the baby. Al- Over the years some mothers|ways approve her generously have written to me of all sorts|when she does. of violence or attempted vio-| Enlist co-operation of other lence by the aggressive older;members of the family at pro- some months bringing fine ad- vances, others somewhat on the dull side, you can, if you will try to overcome your innate tendency to become easily dis- couraged in the face of obsta-| cles, bring an even balance to| the situation and wind up the] year in a highly satisfactory |Tequired to make an excellent position. For instance, there are indi- youngster. viding amusement of and atten- For example, one mother|tion to the daughter, and to cations of monetary gain be- jtween now and early May, |throughout July, in mid-Septem- ber and mid-October but not junti! next December will you lines. In intervening periods, you must be conservative. Bear }gance between mid-November |and mid-December. Best periods |for job interests: The late April- If tomorrow is your birthday, /|Jate } i . your chart presents a pleasant oreo Pee eek Tele Op outlook for the next year. While| you may experience some "'ups and downs" where job and mon- are concerned, |. Personal affairs will be under | | beneficent aspects during most {of the year, with sentimental jinterests especially star-blessed. |For those of you who are single, marriage is possible in late June, in July or late September. Don't take next month's ro- mances too seriously, however. A child born on this day will be endowed with the qualities artist or writer. "= se epeeeaee es @ | is loved and wanted, that she|® REED'S 1 wrote that she once arrived on|curbing their adoration of the|!8 a precious person. the scene in time to save the|baby. Seek like co-operation of Mfe of her baby when she found|relatives and neighbors base in a chair for punishment, he's @ her three-year-old trying to ram|drop in. his fingers down the baby's Towa: Our 2l-month-old daughter is|'@lking to her, explain things e s0 jealous of the baby, who is to her, answering her questions|you are sure he will stay there | and conversing with her, saying|until the time is up or get a® the baby on her head and hands, |F Teading nursery rhymes and|lusty whack on his bare thi throws toys at her, and climbs the like to her and often cud-|in case he leaves too soon. into the baby's bed, right on dling her. All should aim at/you are consistent top of the baby. We just can't|De!ping this older child feel she|need to watch less. seven months old, that she bites do a thing to make her stop Conspire with all the rest ot Off and away as soon as my ia throat. A mother qrote from|the family in playing with the|/eyes are off him. What should a daughter throughout the day,|I do? | Q If 1 have my child, 3, sit /# A. Keep your eyes on him till gh) you wi Everyone Is Welcome to Attend t FLORISTS 21st Annuol Spring Flower Show et their Greenhouses if" Palm Sunday, March 19 doing these things toward the baby." My reply in part: I'm sure know your baby would not safe left alone a single min- ute with this older child. No matter what inconvenience to you, make gure a responsuble person is on hand whenever the older child is near the baby so the older child can't harm this baby. You or any other protect- ing person should hold the ag- gressor at a safe distance. Don't scream at her, don't spank her, or handle her roughly. She is too young to profit from physical pain for any threat or attack on the baby. Besides, any kind of punishment will only increase her jealous feeling. Obviously she feels the baby is her enemy and her unreserved urges are to annihilate this baby. CONSUMES TIME Naturally you must spend con- siderable time caring for the baby. The more the older child sees you do so the more she may feel that the baby has stolen your attention from her. At times when you are not car- ing for the baby often rock and tenderly cuddle this older child. When you feel it safe to let the girl come near the baby, try to get this girl to touch a hand of the baby very genfly, and when she does so, approve her tenderly with quiet tones and loving pats. Look forward to times when you can get your SOCIAL NOTICE ENGAGEMENT Mr. and Mrs. Donald Bell wish to announce the engage- ment of their daughter, Reva Heather, to Ted Thomas Mar- shall, son of Mr. and Mrs. Frank Marshall, all of Oshawa. The wedding will take place on Sat- urday, April 15, 1967 at 12 o'clock noon in Simcoe Street Pentecostal Church. EASTER HOLIDAYS SPRING SKIING SUNTAN IGLOOS CURLING BONSPIELS MAPLE SYRUP MAKING {angi P.O. 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Flyin; orchid farm Kilauea, He nesian vil '(Hawaiian f ous churche the Garden' Church of in Hawaii."' | sea at Di Gibraltar o party headec returned eas en route at Dam and th Unit 3 of S: Church Wor for a busine: cial afternoo Mrs. R. Lec avenue. District Tamblyn anc Lindsay will of honor at Club Centenn quet hall of ium _--_tomor! guests of ho Ernest Mark: the Honorab MP, and Mr sell Oliphant Canadian cz Lions' Interr Directors an Attending -- in capacity will chairman Al Mrs. Smykal Mrs, Uria street north, bers of the L; Group to her Miss Rose | Jones describ Hawaii and slides, The Diabet ciation electe tive at its I follows: pas Jules Ethie Mrs. Stanley Grove; treasi King; secreta George Smith; Mrs. M. B. 1 Ethier, The announced {1 forms were a one wishing t betic --childre camp. John © OPTON PH. 7 8 BOND $T.