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pleasures with another woman emotionally. in-|Such without becoming "t use my name-- ture Withheld Dear Friend: It would be easy with pious platitudes 'rankness and to respond but your fi deserve better. Frequently when I -- Chicago colleague, His answe tells you more about him than lever could. Here it is: Dear Mr. ' answer your s have Ann's wisdom, but I do intimate knowledge of since I have lived have your with it for 19 years. the ad- vise. a reader I call on an ex- pert. The. expert I have asked to respond to your letter is a cf 58 ' Ha i il f h ey ' il L 38 a & F --perhaps impossible--to con- The first step in your adjust- ment is to forget the alterna- you will go dancing again when your wife can go with you. Re- missions do occur. Nothing is you can, even in a wheel chair. Keep her hopes alive. Encourage her to exercise andjdo whatever she can to feel- useful. I work with my wife every evening in ther- apy sessions. She has given me r}some real lessons in courage. We all admire maturity, self- lessness and compassion but no one is born with these qualities. Circumstances have given you a real opportunity to acquire them. As Ann Landers says, "Tt's not what happens to us, but how we take it that counts." --Anonymous y CHILD GUIDANCE . Chair-Sitting Begun Early Becomes Effective Punishment ae By As 'was eee c et ni i i é tell him it will be for 15 or 20 minutes, Don't guess. Follow you tell him to tives. Make up your mind that 'Oshawa Builders' Associ- ation held its annual ladies' night, Friday evering at the Hotel Genosha. On hand for the. occasion were, from the left, front row: Mrs. Calvin Potter, Mrs. Lyman Gifford, Mrs. Ber- nard Bernard, Toronto; and Mrs. Gerald Armstrong... Standing in rear, Cavin OSHAWA BUILDERS' ASSOCIATION HOLDS LADIES' NIGHT Potter, incoming president of the Association; "Mayor Lyman Gifford; Bernard Bernard, Toronto, vice- president of the National _ Builders' Association . and oh Basis Gerald Armstrong, retir- ing president of the Osh- awa Association. About 240 people attended the pala event. --Oshawa Times Photo KEEP IN TRIM By IDA JEAN KAIN It is interesting to note that Naticy Davis Reagan, wife of the new governor-elect of Cali- fornia, rejects the superficial interpretation of the word "im- age." Back in her college days she 'learned that it isn't the image you project to others that changes you. It is the image you have of yourself that cuts the pattern for your course of action. Fourteen years ago when the MGM lot, she told your dietitian how she changed from a size 16 to a svelte size 10. Her method was to think like a slim girl. She created a slim image in her mind. "You have to make up your aes what you Meo and yee picture your ° was way she expressed it. Nancy's weight problem started the first year she was away from home, It wasn't so much the high starch, for the meals at school were well bal Positive Thinking Helps Reducing Programs When Nancy became inter- ested in an acting career, the first thing she did was to take her weight in hand. "At first it was tough to cut out sweets . ... but I had a goal to attain. 'Which do you want, that chocolate fudge sun- dae or to be an actress? I would ask myself,' " she told me. Being a doctor's daughter, she did not attempt any foolish diets. For breakfast she had fruit or juice, one or two eggs, soft boiled, a slice of toast, Nancy Davis was a starlet onjjightly, buttered and coffee, eae That hearty breakfast t her going strong until past noon. For lunch she had a salad with generous strips of lean meat, chicker and cheese, plus a glass of skim milk. Dinner was always a good meal--a lib- eral serving lean meat, two vegetables, slice tomatoes and fruit. To shape up, she became en- thusiastic about exercise--ten-| nis and swimming -- and slimmed her waist from a plump 28 inches to a willowy Timing Counts When Asking Boss For Raise By ROBERTA ROESCH "What's a good way to ask faw.a raise?" asks a reader from Ohio. "Tt work in a rather small office," she says, "so merit or routine raises are not a regular thing. Therefore I've never had a raise in the 2% years I've worked, "When I took my job," she adds, "I began at a fairly good salary, and until the past few months I felt well-satisfied. "But now that the cost of liv- ing is up, I find I'm also reach- ing a point where I have to have more money. "Tt will be hard for me to ask, because I have little con- fidence in my ability to do.so with ease. I also feel my boss will resent my bringing up the subject of money, unless I pre- sent my case well. "Any suggestions that you can pass on will-be @ help to me," tii) It is never easy to confron a boss and ask him for a raise, and the only way to do it well, with a background of confi- dence, is to be sure you are ' can't get anyone like you for the money he pays you. impression, firm you work for is a penny- | pinching concern that has | cheated you out of your just due. Also eliminate all threats to leave the firm in case you don't get a raise, unless, of course, you have another job to go to. | Too many employers are apt ito say "Go!" when faced with} a demand for a raise "'or else." TIME IT RIGHT When you feel this is the case with you, the first step in the right approach in asking for a raise is to time your request intelligently. Then arm: yourself with a personable sipile and your best personality and make your grand entrance into the boss's office. A second step is to tell your boss how much you like your job and how much you enjoy working for him and the com- pany. While you are talking, point out firmly that the time has' come when it- is necessary for you to earn more money. As a third step, have creilible reasons for your request that your boss can understand and sympathize with. At the same time, be prepared to give him your personal views on why you {SARGEANT'S. have on "SALE" FULL LENGTH >, including Erriie values to 32.50. 36 King St. E. EATERS 2 LOCATIONS Oshawe Shopping Centre Both Stores open every nite till 9 till Christmes 79 Simcoe St. N. Hear DAVE HINSCHBERGER At The Electrohome Organ From 2 P.M, to 10:00 P.M. Here lo ©. wonderful opportunity to fied out how euilly you oon ploy af Electrohome Organ, by the Heintzman'é Teaching Course. anced, but everything of a so- cial nature was accompanied by refreshments. Also, the weekly laundry basket sent from home included assorted goodies. To break up the study hour, the girls in the dorm had pea- =. the such an asset to your firm that 22 inches. your boss will know that he By the time Nancy arrived on the MGM lot she had changed) her food habits so completely she no longer wanted rich, cream foods or sweets. Today FORMAL GOWNS actress, now Mrs, Ronald Rea- gan, give to girls? 'Don't quit school to go on the stage. Get she Mey 4d pounds and a mg pens yn je will wears a size 10. 8 stea What advice did this youngi life." an ne Hs All Brand New Samples OVER 100 GOWNS TO CHOOSE FROM SARGEANT'S } 463 RITSON $. -- OSHAWA 725-3338 nut butter and and cookies. Naturally pounds rolled on and the pointer on the scales soared to 145 bulg- ing pounds. She wore site 16. fl i started two or. younger, it may be used effectively when he is*6, 8 or. 12. For a child so old the time g| Should be 25 or 50 minutes. don't send him there in the first You may have chosen to make) place. to| tim "'stand in the corner" in- | stead of sitting in a certain) PARENTS' QUESTIONS tele|Place, but this is harder to en-| @ Can you understand why "\force and is more painful than|2 good many parents Seer necessary. Some other parents|their teen - age child who prefer to send the offender to|strongly wishes to prepare for his 'room instead. But while|teaching, nursing or the min- there he may find amusement|istry? or get into some deviltry. Sit-/ A. Hardly, but my guess is ting where you can see him, he|they think these professions can more easily be controlled.|don't promise large money re- After he has served his time,|wards. How awful when so let him get down. Don't make| many teen-agers are idealists. him promise then not to "do that again," or explain to him why he had to sit there. 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