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ANN LANDERS) Teen - Marriage Realities : ged to be married : . Tt said "wae! I broke the engagement letter from Be é af; -_ am going to enclose my nd's letter and ask you to int it, It really opened my Maybe it will open some r eyes around the country. 'Dear---: you won't take my ut I feel I. must tell , please, please think before you get married. xactly your age and it's 'y 10 months since I was bride. But I can tell you, honey, we are botli too young for marriage, "We grew up together and I how much fun and go times means to you. I thought eduld give up a lot of things use I. was in love with Bill 3 Be months haven't been-any fun at 'all, just regrets. "Before I married I remem- 'der what @ blast it was to drive dad's nice. car. Bill and I ve an old piece of junk that in front of the house be- use we don't have money for * "Do you know what it's like thot to be able to buy a new adress, or a bottle of nail polish 'pr a can of hair spray? Well, do, And something else, you'll never realize how many things your mother did for you until you have to do them yourself, I used to change blouses twice a day, but I don't do that any Landers; I'm 18 od] into. I wish somebody had wised Age Bride Tells more since i'm the one wie lias to wash and iron them. "T thought marriage meant freedom. Well, it might have meant freedom from my par- ents, but now I have to answer to a husband who is 10 times more demanding than my par- ents ever were. ness? Well, get ready. Bill goes to work at 8:30 a.m. and comes home at 7 p.m, Two nights a week he's in school and one night a week he bowls with the guys. If you think your single friends are going to keep you company, forget it, After a few months you're just another old married woman. "T am not trying to talk you out of anything, I just want you to know what you're getting my up. If they had, I'd be single today. Think it over and good luck, no matter what.-- dottie" Dear ----: Many thanks to you for sending on Dottie's letter. Little did she realize that it would be read by millions, Her story is not new to me. I receive such letters every day from 4d of disenchanted teen-age brides. I'm glad Dot- tie's experience changed your mind. I hope to heaven it changes some other young minds around the country. Confidential to Doghouse Joe: Willingness to admit a mistake and to apologize for it is indeed admirable. But you have re- peated the same foolish mistake over and over again. Now the "Have I mentioned loneli-| question is: When are you going to learn from your mistakes and stop acting like a donkey? CHILD GUIDANCE : Firm Discipline, Love ' Controls Adopted Child "By GARRY C. MYERS, PhD » A heartbreaking experience Yor an adoptive parent is to hear #rom the adopted child, 'You're jot my mother; I don't need to bey you." This may come from 'the adopted child when 6, 10 or 6. The older the child is when e says it, the more it may 'hurt and the less the adoptive 'parent can do about it. { An adoptive mother from Ohio ewrites of a child, 6: I "She is on the honor roll at «school all year, with As and Bs. *We adopted her when she was 50 weeks old. When she was two, I told her she was adopted Sand kept talking about it so she vould grow up knowing she was adopted. ; | » "Om our street we have six) children. Of course, she talks more about her --. Now, at times she Smight throw these words in my ace as, 'You are not my real 'amma, and I don't have to sten to you.' The first time it) rised me and so I whipped} wand told her never to say that *again. But that was my mistake for she knows now how to get sback at me when she's mad. | * "One day, when denied a} «privilege she said, 'You are not 'my real Mamma and I don't) Nove you.' Slowly I turned) waround and told her, "T know, ) 'but get yourself another mother sand love and I might look 'around for another girl that will gove me.' } 4 Then it bothered her that 1) swered me 'no.' So her Daddy ordered her to do it, and not to answer me and to oe on her knees; she went yelling back, 'T'll kill myself," two or three times. He gave her a few lick- ings with his belt, "Next day I asked her, 'Why did you tell Daddy you wanted to kill yourself last night?' With her cute smile she answered, 'I wanted to scare him for pun- ishing me.' I told her, 'You don't scare us; you're too young to scare us and furthermore it would hurt to kill yourself.' 'Well then,' she asked me, 'What will scare you and Daddy?' 'Nothing; you are too young to scare us,' I told her and we haven't heard about it} again." CHILD MUST OBEY My reply in part: No doubt this child often dis- cusses such matter with the} other adopted children of the! neighborhood who probably talk| to their adoptive parents as she} talks to you parents. | The next time this occurs say nothing to this child about her} defiant or threatening remarks. | Just prove to her she must} obey you and your husband.| Talking as you did is about the worst way possible. | EFFECTIVE PUNISHMENT | When she disobeys you pun-| ish her effectively. Perhaps the| best way is to require her to sit unamised, doing nothing, This table for a luncheon -- which is usually a femi- nine affair -- uses roses as a decorative motif, The mats in sheer pink organdy emphasize the delicacy of the china, while the bands of Irish crochet in matching pink repeat the china's Cherokee Rose design, If you wishinstructions, please send self addressed, KEEP IN TRIM Mother And Daughter Ate Sensibly To Reduce By IDA JEAN KAIN |counting calories, We planned its, DAINTY LUNCHEON MATS stamped envelope and ten cents. to cover cost of hand- ling to the Needlework department of this news- paper asking for Leaflet No. C.T. 222. jour clothes, sewing them down ito fit our smaller size. "We lost a considerable part of the excess in the first year which convinced us that our new way of eating was the right way to reduce. Everyone asks jus how we did it and we can Say we did it by our own mer- by simply changing our Is it advisable or possible for| good meals but concentrated on|Wways of eating." a person to reduce if she has|low calorie foods such as cot- rr (Readers, please note: They been fat since childhood? Is|tage cheese, skim milk and low | did not take pills or go on and there one diet that is better|calorie salad dressing. We ate off faddy diets. The best reduc- than another? Do pills help?jlots of fresh vegetables and/ ing plan is to eat good food but Do calisthenics reshape propor-|had lean meat, fish or chicken. |skip the fatteners as this tions? These asked repeatedly. Today's story, mother and daughter reduce to-) gether, answers these queries. | questions are| We each had la day. in which &| OMITTED SWEETS | "To cut calories we omitted | Slim) gravies, candy and all rich| 1 slice of bread | mother and daughter did, It was ifive 'years this summer since |their starting date. They stayed Conclusion: "My daughter Every. line of the letter carries| foods, When we wanted a soft|weighs 115 pounds and wears conviction, | drink we choose the low calorie|size 9 and 10. I weigh 135 "My daughter and I finally|type. We took turns preparing|pounds and wear a size 14%, met the weight challenge. I had|our low calorie meals and this| slimmed through the waist. Get- been fat all my life. At age 14|was fun and a challenge. We I weighed 175 pounds, I'll never) did not take reducing pills, forget my embarrassment when| 'My daughter exercises daily. ting down to right weight sure makes a wonderful difference in our lives and in the way we the school nurse would check us'/The calisthenics helped to re-jfeel and look. Keep your en- over and I outweighed teacher! the|shape her figure. I joined her) couraging words coming. | part of the time, It was exciting! Cheers for this mother and "T carried this weight through | When we began to take tucks in|daughter team! he years. I married and had a daughter who was also in- clined to be fat. At the age of 22 she weighed 196 pounds and} by then I had reached 189 pounds. We both wore size 20% and we are only 5' 2" tall. "We decided to reduce to- gether. We each bought a pair| of scales. Then we _ started KEEP FAMILY SWORD FORT WILLIAM, Ont. (CP)-- A sword carried in the Boer war jaidn't, flare up. Ryo got ms where you can see her for an|Was used to cut the wedding dsaid, 'I'm sorry I said that but/hour, Tf she gets out of the|cake of Mr. and Mrs. James H. tyou know why I said it, for you sto let me do it.' + "The other sto do something and she an- Heiress - Apparent 'To Danish Throne 'To Be Married | } COPENHAGEN (AP) -- Prin- «cess Margrethe, the heir to Den- *mark's throne and bride-to-be of | 'a French nobleman and diplo-| emat, is a girl with a modern 'outlook--and a wit to match her +good looks. } She finds delight in archeology vor in paddling a canoe. But cool) sand ladylike, she is at ease in 'a milk coat or a cocktail dress. Margrethe ranks high in the) esteem of her countrymén, and sthey have no regret that they) 'changed the constitution in 1953! ;to permit a woman to succeed *to the throne. The revision was/; -made because King Frederik and Queen Ingrid have no son. | Try i The Danish court let it be 'known last week that the prin- cess will marry Count Henri de ; Laborde de Monpazet, third sec- retary of the French embassy in _ London. He arrived Saturday for this first publicly-disclosed visit 'to the royal family, although he has made several previous visits 'in secret. He is 32, she 26. No date for the wedding has been announced. " Margrethe is a member of the «Lutheran church and the count tis a Roman Catholic, but court .circles this week reported he tplans to become a Lutheran nicht T asked her) chair too soon, paddle her| soundly, Then she can choose| whether. she wil! get naddled or! not. } Sit down with your husband) in private and agree on the few! things this child must do or not| do and how either of you will| punish her for deliberate dis-| obedience, Having settled a few} such matters, seek to find ways) to enjoy this child and make her | feel she is loved and wanied | and a precious member of the | family. Try to help her win | many playmates of her own) age. | ANSWERING QUESTIONS Q. Our daughter will enter/ college in September. Should Ij select and purchase her ward- | robe? | A. She might be glad to have | you help her do so. Whether you | do or not, allowing her a budget might be desirable. Cow Brand Jeffers, The sword, which be- longed to the bride's great- great + great + grandfatier, has been' used to cut the cake of each girl in the family. ;giving her time to worthwhile Many Women Make Career Doing Voluntary Payless Work By ROBERTA ROESCH "I am one of the few women in my neighborhood who don't leave home for a job every day," writes a reader. "Actually, I have no desire, no training, and no need to work at a job," she says, 'In addi- tion, I keep busy with so many other interests 1 wouid have to cut out some worthwhile activi- ties, ti 2 Changed my schedule and went to work, "But despite my interest in what I am doing, it is beginning to bother me that today most people seem to feel that unless you answer the question of 'What work do you do?' with the name of a specific job, you're actually doing nothing, "T have been stopped by that question so often," she said, "it is making me feel inadequate, even though I don't have time for a salaried job." THEY'RE STOPPED In my years of talking to women, I have met a good many others who -have also been stopped by this question. One woman I remember par- ticularly never had an answer to the question "What work do you do?" since she, too, felt that people expected her to name a job, Therefore, she never told them about the work that filled her life to the brim. Each summer, for example, this woman, who had no chil- dren of her own, opened her home to boys and girls from city slums: Then during the winter she gave three days a week to helping at a county orphanage. "Some days I mend for the children,"' she said, 'Other days I read to them." GAVE HER TIME When this woman, who won't let me use her name, wasn't working with children, she was organizations, remaining so well organized herself that she never often until well into the night, writing letters to servicemen. She seldom mentioned all that she did, and she kept away from the limelight so much that people who asked "What work do you do?" never had any idea that this quiet but competent woman often put in twice as much time carrying out worth- while activities as her neighbors with a inh CHOSE HER LIFE "It is the life I have chosen," she told me, when we discussed this subject, "and I love the in- terests that I pursue. "But sometimes I wish I had the right words to answer peo- ple who ask me about my work and who make me feel inade- quate because I cannot tell them exactly what I do," In our opinion, this woman-- and every woman like her--has more than an adequate answer to the question even if she can't put it in precise words. The world is so full of so many types of jobs. And there are as many different kinds of work as there are kinds of women to do it. | The woman who chooses one| kind of work should never feel she doesn't count because she did not choose another, lite DANCE OR _ TWIRL REGISTER DAILY 4pm te 7 pm FOR FALL TERM HARVEY DANCE ACADEMY abandoned one commitment to keep up with something else. In the hours she was at home, she was usually at her desk, Oshawa Shopping Centre 725-612 Saas 'THE STARS SAY By ESTRELLITA. FOR TOMORROW 'Fine stellar influences still gree all your endeavors. Con- ue to press toward worth- while objectives and you can't go wrong. Evening hours prom- ise to be exceptionally pleasant, and there is a possibility that you will hear some heart- warming news. FOR THE BIRTHDAY if tomorrow ig your birthday; rest your horoscope indicates that, during the 'mast 'thrase manth:, it would not be advisable to make any long-term financial agreements, During late De- cember (also in mid - May), however, providing you have given them sufficient thought beforehand, business transac- tions could prove highly prof- itable. Good job headway is star-promised in 1967 if you don't become discouraged in the face of minor obstacles. Keep your eyes on the ultimate goal: and work toward it, re- gardless of temporary setbacks. Best periods along both mone- tary and career lines: Late De- cember through mid-February, | the latter part of April, mid-) May, June, August and Septem-| ber. Personal matters will be gov- erned by generous influences Ps | that, generally speaking, you should find great megs social, domestic and se tal interests. Best for romance: Late December, April, May and August; for travel; February, May, June, July and August. If ] in creative pursuits, for exceptional op portunities to achieve recognition between early January and next June. A child born on this day will be endowed with excellent judg- ment, a fine sense of humor and great resourcefulness, SHOES BRING CASH - Italy exported $160,000,- worth of shoes in 1964, encuentran SUPERFLUOUS HAIR REMOVED By Elect yi the IMPERIAL De- Luxe short. wove, _ re true self, of Qf ment -- Se FREE CONSULTATION will be in Oshowe et the Genosha Hotel SEPT. 12, 13 and 14, PHONE 723-4641 for appointment on these doetes. for most of the year ahead so SCHOOL BOOK COVERS available ot all Fairweather Stores British Tweed totaled and timed for fall Handsome young suit with an extra measure of fashion in the matching sleéveless shell and jockey hat. Subtle tweed, the kind of OSHAWA SHOPPING CENTRE BIRKS JEwWERLLERS New Beauty and Sparkle for All Your Jewellery in your bath! 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