Daily Times-Gazette, 30 Apr 1952, p. 7

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ey wih (| on MARY HAWORTH'S MAIL Jilted by Divorced Employer Woman Faces Emotional Upheaval Dear Mary Haworth: I am 29, and for four years I kept 'company with my employer, who is 15 years my. senior. He was living with his wife all this time, out of a sense of duty to the family. The people who knew we were keeping com- pany didn't look down on us, as they knew the kind of Mfe his wife was leading, About a year ago we realized we couldn't go on unless Joe got his divorce. By this time his children were grown and self-supporting, away from home. He asked me to help him get the divorce, and I cut my connections with my own relatives and fought beside him for months, bringing the suit to court. Until the day he got his final de- cree, he led me to think he would be married; then he told me I wasn't good enough, and he wouldn't see me any more. He couldn't have got his freedom with- out my help. + My heart is broken .and I have lost the will to go on. He tricked me into a degrading relationship that will scar me for life, then tells me that I am inferior to him, Would a man of conscience do that? Do you think that a charac- ter so low can ever recognize the great wrong he has done? Is there such a thing as second childhood? I actually believe Joe is entering his dotage. He isn't efficient at the office now; he spends hours a day away from work, and comes in each morning with a hangover. His statement that he doesn't love me isn't the worst of my grief, but to be led on through months of hectic worry fo help him win out, thus learning to love him all the more, then realizing that I'd heen used as a tool. How can I overcome the shock? how make him see the great harm he has done? D.L. TRICKED BY HIM Dear D. L.: It is axiomatic that the means to an end determine the end-results. In your case, you em- ployed tricky tactics to try to take Joe from his wife, and in the end were tricked by him. You en- Polaened him to discard his wife, and in the process, encouraged him $0 become the kind of fellow who eould meanly discard you too. Thus the hardhearted might say--you led th your chin, you asked for it, what are you kicking about? "There 1s no use blackguarding Joe for letting you down. He is as much at the mercy of sick emo- ( drives as you are. And\it seems he has gone from bad to worse in his own estimation, while trying to arrive at peace of soul. In casting you off and trampling pur feelings with cruel disdain in e wake of divorce, he is mani- festing unconscious self-loathing also. In his mind, you are iden- pr LEAF DOILIES! By ALICE BROOKS EXQUISITE! Graceful! Make these leaf-doilies in tones of soft spring green, or in russets and yellows of autumn. A new fashion in table-settiggs--will bring ohs and ahs from plwased guests. Treble crochet and shell-stitch! Pattern 7363; directions. Send TWENTY - FIVE CENTS in coins for this pattern (stamps cannot be accepted) to Daily Times-Gazette Household = Arts Dept., Oshawa, Ontario. Print plainly, NAME, ADDRESS, PAT- TERN NUMBER. Exciting! Our 1952 edition of Alice Brooks Needlecraft: Book! Brimful of new ideas, it's only Twenty-five cents. NINETY-ONE illustrations of patterns of your favorite needlecraft designs, plus SIX easy-to-do patterns, printed right in the book, LAST WEEK TO BUY KIWANIS {good times with him. Induce other | tified with his wrong performance these past four years. Thus he rejects you because he feels a need to reject his old self in order to get on the right track in life. In going to pieces on the job, neglecting his work and incurring a pernicious hangover, Joe is wrestling with a condition of pro- found anxiety, bordering on panic, I surmise. No doubt this is a chronic state, which keeps him in perpetual unrest. But at 'present, new 'freedom' from his former ties with you and his wife, I think --both of whom were valuable to him in a kind of mother-nurse capacity, each in her different way, In trying to escape himself by escaping you two, he has gone into a tailspin, for'la¢k of anchor- age or inner ballast. REAL NEEDS So much for Joe's instability. Now about your sense of injury. | If you will look back over your | life prior to dating Joe, I am sure | you will see that you've always had trouble, and felt thwarted, in your quest for love-security. It is safe to say that you were a mal- adjusted heart-hungry girl when you drifted into a backstreet alli- ance with him. Given the interest and companionship of eligible beaux and wholesome girl friends, you would have had no time for Joe, and would have appraised his philandering as a trap for fools. The remedy for the shock of his | treachery is to recognize that he | isn't the problem, really. The ill- starred association is simply part of a pattern of distracted fumbling for emotional sanctuary, which you've never had. The basic prob- lem is to understand the inner nature of your desperation, so that you may bring reason to bear, in Shoosing suitable goals to strive Ir, Mary Haworth counsels through her column, not by mail or per- sonal interview. Write her in care of this newspaper. Fresh celery leaves are not ex- clusively for the soup pot. Mince them fine and add to creamed fish, creamed vegetables, tossed salads, salad dressing, scalloped meats, fish or seafood. it is acutely accelerated by his |. Hollywood Highlights By BOB THOMAS HOLLYWOOD (AP)--Bob Hope and Bing Crosby have hit the "road" again, and it's an opera- tion as complex as building the Alaska highway. 1R4816 SIZES 12-20 IT'S SMART By ANNE ADAMS YOU WANT that tiny - waisted look--and here is the dress to give it to you! Bodice-back wraps to front, a smart feature and an easy-to-fit detail, gracefully pleated flared skirt! Fabric suggestions: solid color or printed -- cottons or rayons. Pattern R4816. Misses' sizes: 12 14, 16, 18, 20. Size 16 takes 4% yards 35-inch fabric. Send THIRTY-FIVE CENTS (35¢) in coins (stamps cannot be accepted) for this pattern. Print plainly SIZE, NAME, ADDRESS, STYLE NUMBER. Send order to ANNE ADAMS, care of Daily Times-Gazette, Pat- tern Dept., Oshawa, Ontario. CHILD GUIDANCE Slowness in Learn By G. CLEVELAND MYERS | There dre some adults of great intellectual attainments and excel- lent speech, who began to talk far later than the average infant does. Over their lateness at talking, indeed, the children's parents may have had grave concern. Although children of low men- tality do begin speech very late, late talkers are not nearly all mentally retarded. Impaired hear- ing, a good sign language which serves the youngster well, or emo- tional hamperings are the chief galises of slowness in learning to FORCED TO TALK One mother writes: "Dear Dr. Myers: Being a faithful reader of your column, I thought you might be able to advise me about my little boy. He is now 25 months old and does not talk at all, Is this an indication that he is mentally | ckward? He can say mama, da- | da, bye-bye and baby when forced | by his father. By forced, I mean | that he is made to sit in a chair | until he says these words. He will | not talk for any other person; he | only laughs at me when I try o| get him to talk." | About as follows, I wrote this | mother: Your child's lag in learn- ing tp talk is no sure proof of low mentality. A safer guess is that you parents have urged him too much. It's just terrible that Dad punishes this little fellow to make him talk. The wonder is that he talks at all. I do hope that Dad never again tries to force this lad to speak and that neither of you even urges him to do so. For some while you should say of objects, "shoe," "hat," 'ball," instead of "This is a shoe," and the like. Also use single words for action or description, as 'burns" for "The fire burns;" "hot" in- stead of "It is hot." But don't ask him to say a word after you--just hope he will. Sing to him, say nursery rhymes to him and read to him. But don't ask him to say any of them back to you. Talk to him about the things you and he are doing. Al- ways speak slowly and distinctly then. Try, you and Dad, to have adults and older children to treat | him in like manner. Endeavor to | have him play often with other | children. In the meanwhile, have | his hearing tested. You should be very much en- ing to Talk Is No Proof of Low Mentality couraged that he does say a few words. Celebrate his successes. (My bulletins, "Your Child and His Speech" and 'Fathers are Parents, t00,"" may be had in a stamped envelope sent me in care of this paper.) Similar is the problem of the child's learning to walk. Too much urging retards his progress. He then gets more falls, causing him to try less. Any youngster learn- ing to walk gets a few bumps if let alone, In all his earlier learnings, in- deed, the' little 'child is hampered by too much urging, and efforts at forcing him against his will are usually very harmful. He tends to do and do again what promises pleasure and to avoid doing what promises pain, Shirred bodice, |: This time the boys are headed on fhe "Road to Bali," and the roadbuilder is a patient producer named Harty 'Tugend. "It's pretty hard getting Bing and Bob together for a picture at the same time," he remarked. "It's not only a matter of adjust- ing their sschedules. There has been opposition to putting them into another picture together. There is a theory, "Why waste them together in one picture, when they can be making two pictures sep- arately?' SHORT-SIGHTED "But I think that theory is short- sighted. There is a tremendous market for 'Road' pictures. It is the one kind of film that our for- eign staff has no trouble selling. "For a while, I was afraid we were only going to have four shoot- ing days a week, because Bing and Bob have radio shows on different days. 'A great deal of the picture requires them both, so that would have meant losing $92,000 a week. Production costs $46,000 a day. "I managed to get them to do their air shows on the same day, so we will only lose about five days' shooting during the picture." Tugend remarked that the boys were unusually ° co-operative in avoiding expensive delays. There is a good reason for this. The pro- ceeds of the film will be split three ways--to Bing Crosby, Inc., Hope Enterprises and Paramount Pic- tures. Thus Bing and Bob are ac- tive partners-in the deal. Picture-taking is more fun with a Reflex-Type Camera Brownie Reflex Camera in stock here Its big finder gives you a preview of the snapshot as you take it. Click the shut- ter and you have the pic- ture. Takes 127 Kodak Film. Just attach the accessory Brownie Flasholder for night shots. Stop in today. ONLY $14.00 @ VITERIAYS 28 King St. E. -- Dial 3-4621 Wiig, 14%2 KING ST. EAST a Collette . permanent IS A SUMMER-ASSET No head too much of a problem iand all COLLETTE . PERMANENTS are individually styled for YOU! and guaranteed so your investment is SAFE! COME IN AND SEE US FOR YOUR BEAUTY NEEDS Jeanne McCabe Hughes CONSULTANT OPERATOR DIAL 3-9511 For Your Easter KARNIVAL CAR TICKETS Feast! BRAND BEEF! For the Finest in Foods! . . . All Roads Lead to 'GLECOFF 1.G.A. SUPER MARKET 174 RITSON ROAD SOUTH 'WE HAVE ON HAND A LARGE SELECTION OF CHOICE CAPONS, CHICKENS, FOWL, TURKEYS, SMOKED HAMS, OSHAWA RED AND BLUE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES BROUGHT TRAILER FROM FLORIDA! 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Sizes 12 to $3.88 TURTLENECK * SHIRTS ys T REG. $1.98 Long-sleeved and short-sleeved, made of finest-combed cotton yarns in white and col- ors. First quality. Made by Silknit. All sizes. Lace Trimmed SLIPS REG. $2.98 1 50 White crepe, straight cut, lace top and bottom: GABARDINE and PASTEL PLAID All are first quality. Sizes 34 and 36. Only REG. TO $7.95 Pretty wool skirts made in many styles and colors. Sizes 12 to 20. Clear-outs and broken lines of our regular higher-priced $4.48 | $2.98 ECIALTY ERWINNE'S "i. 11 SIMCOE S. Dial 3.7421 All are first quality, short and long sleeve styles. White, fla- mingo and navy. All sizes 12 to 20. All are made in Canada ond guaranteed first quality, and all are brand new shades. Beautiful sheer and longer wearing 60 gauge. Sizes 9 tq 11, good length. 1.49 ALL-NYLON GIRDLE REG. $5.95 Made by Lagnon -- substandard ee but so near perfect that we ame amazed -- All powernet. white only, Sizes: small, medium and large. $2.99 LADIES' BLUE PRE-SHRUNK "SANFORIZED", JEANS REG. $3.49 Finest quality denim, perfect fit, reinforced at' all points of wear with rivets. Swell for the garden, bi- gyciing or just loafing. Sizes 12 to $2.77 NYLON TRICOT First quality, nice weave, white and colors. All sizes. SHOWERPROOFED GABARDINE SLACKS REG. $7.95 Most have adjustable slide zippers, beautiful semi-drape slack in'navy, beige, brown and green. Sizes 12 to 20. . LACE-TRIMMED Cotion Slips REG. $3.50 All cotton that launders so nicely and looks so good. Lots of lace to look good under your nylon blouses. All are sanforized- shrunk. Sizes 32 to 40, sds

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