| SATURDAY, DECEMBER 22, 1951 1 ATR os BRST THE DAILY TIMES.GAZETTE PAGE ELEVEN ---- CHILD GUIDANCE:- Effective Discipline for Child By GARRY CLEVELAND MYERS, Ph.D. Many a mother finds herself not feeling the love for her child or | a particular one of the family that she knows she should feel. She may even hate this child at tim es. Occasionally, indeed, a mother writes me of such experiences and indicates her deep suffering of re- morse over the matter. She tells of her fervent prayers and sincere resolves to feel and show more | love to this child. Often she writes of these prayers and resolves while looking at the sleeping child at night, only to find herself shrieking at him, even hating him, the next { day. ¥ BEYOND HER CONTROL From what I can gather, the child usually continues to exasp- | erate this mother because she finds him so far beyond her con- trol, because he does so many ings before her eyes that she has Asked or told him not to do. More often than not, this child is under five or six. Her feeling of antagonism to him arouses like feeling in him toward her. Increasingly they get on each other's nerves. This mu- tual antipathy may be so great and continuous that there's very little time' when each does not feel ugly toward the other, certainly very little time when they feel mutually tender and affectionate. While it's noble for the mother i to keep praying that she might | feel and show more love to this | child and to keep trying to make herself be more lovely, she will do s0 in vain till she can work out | more effective measures of con- | trolling him. As she gains in this direction, she will be annoyed at him less and he less at her, and the way will slowly clear so that love gradually can abide. Say the child is under five. The mother and father should sit down together and agree upon the few things he shall be trained not to do and the exact manner of this training. Of course, they should select the few things they easily can check with their own eyes and In order 'to be successful, these parents will say No or Don't only in the few situations they have agreed on beforehand, but never will repeat these words in the same situation and will utter them only in a moderate tone. Then if o CGIT. NEWS KING STREET EXPLORERS The meeting of the Explorers was held in the form of a Christ- mas party, opening with the sing- ing of carols, followed by a short worship service. A variety of Christmas numbers were presented, games were play- ed, and ails were exchanged. After a y lunch the meeting was closed with "'Glery to Thee." HOUSEHOLD HINT If the broom is inserted handle downward through the pulls of a series of cabinet drawers in the kitchen it will keep toddlers from spilling the contents. - A Gift Fer The Years! APPROPRIATELY FRAMED PICTURES! A limited number in Watercolors, Tempers, Oil By H. Stafford A deposit vill hold until Xmas! ART SIGN STUDIOS TI86°E Iola I$ ouBjuQ 6€ this young child does not desist promptly, they will turn him over the knee, bare his thigh, and smack him sharply. As soon as he so respects authority as to stay where put, spanking can be wholly abandoned and chair-sitting for' a definite period, say 20 minutes, can be used effectively, instead. For these controls to be effec- tive, both parents must exercise great self-control. (My bulletins, "How To Teach Tot Meaning of No" and "Stubbornness," may be had by sending a self-addressed, stamped envelope to me in care of this paper.) But even to get the youngster under complete control isn't suffi- cient. Both parents will also need to read to him, to do things and make things with him for fun, ap- prove his good deeds and celebrate his successes. Having cleared the deck, the way will be ready to have more happy times with this youngster, which in turn will help lessen the mutual vexations. There may, however, be some deep-seated causes of this prob- lem warranting the counsel of a psychiatrist. Win Complements! SUCCESS! You'll be the best- dresed woman everywhere you go in this! From that flattering petal collar to that gently flared skirt with curved pockets, every line pays you compliments. Make it in a soft wool for a casual, of in a crisp faille for dates! Pattern R4574 In sizes 12, 14, 16, 18, 20; 40. Size 16 takes 4% yards 80-inch fabric. This pattern easy to use, simple to sew, is tested for fit. Has com- plete illustrated instructions. ------ Send THIRTY-FIVE CENTS (35¢) in coins (stamps cannot be accepted) for this pattern. Print plamly. SIZE, NAME, ADDRESS, NUMB: ER. Send order to ANNE ADAMS, care of The Times-Gazette, Pat ern Department, Oshawa, Op- 0. News About Shoes TWO pattern parts! These gay slippers are a cinch to make, espe- cially if you use ready-quilted fabric. Pompoms are easy too. Choose ankle-straps or pump style. Pattern 7166 has complete di- rections; pattern pieces. Sizes: Small, medium, large, extra large. Send TWENTY-FIVE CENTS in coins for this pattern (stamps can- hot be accepted) to The Daily Times-Gazette, Household Arts Dept., Oshawa, Ontario. Print plainly NAME, ADDRESS, PAT- TERN NUMBER. HANDICRAFT ideas a-plenty in our Alice Brooks Needlework catalog. Send twenty-five cents for your copy today! Illustrations of patterns for crochet, knitting, embroidery, and other fascinating handwork. A Free Pattern is printed in the book. Tricks With Carrots For The Relish Tray Celery fans and radish roses are simple enough to make, and so are those fancy little carrot curls, once you get the knack of it. And how crisp and frilly they look to pass around the table. For the carrot curls use a vegetable parer to shave thin even lengthwise strips from pared carrots) Then just curl the strips gently But tightly around, your forefinger and pin with a toothpick if they threaten to bounce back. Drop in a bowl of ice cubes and allow to stand for an hour or so, then remove the toothpicks and serve. Very thin carrot sticks pushed through the centres of pitted ripe olives are another pretty relish. A few drops of oil on the olives keep them shiny. Or carrot sticks through little green pepper rings for colour. Or for a Christmassy theme with radishes, cut carrots crosswise into % inch slices. Then but out the centres with the point of a knife and slip sprigs of watercress through the rings. But every day's net Christmas, and the vegetable problem is with us always. Carrots you know, are regular storehouses of Vitamin A. LEMON GLAZED CARROTS Cut pared carrots into thin cir- cles, drop in boiling salted water and cook until barely tender. Melt in a skillet a large lump of butter or margarine, add 4 tbsps. sugar and the juice of 1 lemon. Simmer {and I have been married 12 years INTEREST TO [] DEAR MARY HAWORTH: Jeff and have two lovely children. is a wonderful husband and ther and we are still very much in love; in fact, his affection for us is unlimited. But in the last five years, since his Army ser- become more stingy top. I dread these arguments 80 mueh that my wardrobe is becom- ing very inadequate, even in essential clothing -- so much so that I am actually ashamed of my appearance at times. 1 sel- dom see a beauty parlor. Jeff always looks nice, not that he spends selfishly on himself, but I buy for him and urge him to get the necessary things. Last eve- ning I started to ask if he'd mind my getting him a birthday gift with money I'd saved from his last pay. Evidently thinking I was about to ask something for myself, he interrupted and shouted me dows. I said no more, but felt 50 hurt that I cried half the night. In the early years of marriage, Jeff was completely generous, anything I wanted or needed was promptly provided without ques- tion. But now he has got to a point where, instead of buying me a birthday or Christmas gift, he tells me to buy some necessity as my present from him. 1l've creat- ed a terrible picture of him, but hee is really so charming, so nice to be with, a perfect husband otherwise; everybody likes him immediately. Spending on me is the only subject that makes him lose his temper and hurt my feelings. Why is this? I am from a big family, where there was never quite enough money, so my wants are simple. and I wouldnt think of asking for things we can't well afford, as Jeff knows; and he's always made a good income. His family always had plenty, but his mother was very niggardly about clothing, so that the children always looked shabby; yet she accumulated a lot of money during the 1930's, out of the stepfather's earning, fore they separated. Does this give a clue to Jeff's tightfisted treat- ment of me in recent years? > WIFE'S ATTITUDE IS SELF-DENIAL / : DEAR G. C.: Your early con- ditioning with respect to meney is similar to 'Jeff's, in that 'lack of money" was always & bugaboo hanging over family planning. In your childhood there was never quite enough money, you recall; and as 8 result your wants remain simple--or rather, inhibited -- to this day, even though Jeff's pres- ent income is substantial. In Jeff's family there was sufficient -until the sugar is dissolved. Add the carrots and cook until most of the liquid is gone, turning occasion- ally. ., Or add the spicy fragrance of nutmeg to the mellow carrot fla- vour: SPICED CARROTS: Cut carrots into strips and drop in boiling salted water until al- most tender. Drain. Add 4 thsps. butter or margarine and 3% tsp. grated nutmeg. Cover and sim- mer until tender. And this is a trye 'Vitamin Salad". Green peppers you know, are extra rich in C, and carrots bow to no one when it comes to A: Shred carrots and cut peppers in half. Remove seeds and mem- brance. Toss carrots with French estings and: serve in pepper "boats". [FOLEY SP [> ¥ i RHIN BRACELET NECKLESS EARRINGS BEAUTIFUL VELVET PRICE ONLY ..... KLING ESTONE. SET | ju ¥) vj Fry ry ey £ > COMPLETE 22.50 BOX ERY CHARGE IT! 32 KING ST. . CREDIT JEWELLERS LIMITED, DIAL 3-7022, § UR SAR AD AD COUN ls lM A A SN AX HM ll SUN AM ATS ln oO sl = RI RI RI SRI RJR) RJR RR) RY XLRI TR KR) LR Ry MARY HAWORTH"S MAIL:- Wife's Martyrdom Irks Husband for decent provisions, but ties. Perhaps his latterday habit of telling you $0 buy some neces- sity as a gift from him stems partly from that indoctrination. If his miserly way with you de- veloped conspicuously after his Army service, it probably also is linked to & rebellious attitude to- attitude which overtook him while he was' "one of the boys" in uni- form, temporarily removed from the confines of domesticity. Re- stored "to wife and children, he may construe you as the symbol of perennial inescapable demands on him, that prevent "independ- ence."" Thus is blewing his top when you specify a personal need, he may be slapping blindly at his whole way-of-life, in which he feels trapped since his retum from military adventures--the more so as he grows older. However, Jeff's psychological tensions, whatever they are, don't wholly aceount for his erratic pattern of spending,--i.e., overly indulgent of thé children, reason- ablé about the house and sharply grudging with you. Again I say, your unconscious air of self dis- paregement in partnership has mueh to do with his rude reaction to your quaky appeals for person- al handouts. In denying your- self things and dressing like a pauper to avoid clashes, you com- pensate by feeling martyred, of course; and you advertisé this sense of injury in aa insistent pat- | tern of abnegation--all of which merely annoys Jeff and lessens his res for your character and rights, without getting at the actu- al problem. You are making a doormat wife of yourself, then wondering why .Jeff tramples your feelings. The healthy attitude is to take for granted that you are entitled to decent upkeep, sinee he has 4 comfortable income. Stand your ground in asking all yoy need, and don't be squelched by angry ex- plosions. Trade blew for blow in a battle of words, if he insists en argument, Let his wardrobe slide for a year or two and concen- trate on reviving your own; and if you've any money saver, spend it on yourself for a change. Jeff will value you more if you get up 8 your face and stop licking his M.H. Mary Haworth counsels through her column, mot by mail or per- sonal interview. .Write her in care of The Times-Gazeité, Osh- awa, Ont. NO OTHER WASHER Soo It tomorrow @1 AGHER'S King W. 92 Simcoe N. Diol 3-3425 = Dial 5-4711 %® X HX HX X X X XX xX MX X RX X X X X X RX X X XX x , Favorite Shetland By PRUNELLA WOOD Now that fall is past, your softer woollen suit is a prized wardrobe member, slipping as it will be- neath great coats easily and com- fortably, er providing just the right warmth and smartness as a travelling companion. This suit with skirt as slim as a rolled um- brella . . . and as black . . . topped with a longish jacket of black and white shepherd checked wool is entirely Shetland weave, that par- tienlarly femini fabric. Buttons, curved pockets which give a slight- ly padded effect to the hips, and collar, are all accented with black velvet. ~~ GIRL ~~ GUIDING 47TH BROWNIES Oh dear were we ever busy at our last 1851 meeting, every Brownie was in a mad scramble to finish their 'you know whats." We were really surprised to seé Miss Moyse call in on such a very cold day, but so pleased to have her. Mis# Moyse presented' Tawny 'Owl and Brown Owl with their warrants. They were unexpected Christmas boxes. Happy birthday was sung for Carol Virgin, Judith Holbrook, Shar- on Stickwood, Sandra Gaskell' and Brown Owl, hope I didn't forget any- one. Gifts were exchanged by all. I wonder how many of your snow- men reached home, I bet you stop- ped to eat him, Tawny Owl and myself 'thank all the Brownies for their lovely cards and gifts, and wish you all a very Merry Christmas and the very best of New Years so until Wednesday, Jan, 9th, 1952, don't forget 'Lend a Hand" and keep smiling won't you. JEAN GASKE Brown Owl STH BROWNIES While the Brownies were assembl- ing in front of the gaily decorated Christmas tree we sang "The Strange Little EIf', "Czech Nativity Carol" and other carols.' The meeting open- ed in the usual manner. We decided to send our Fairy Gold to the Bick Children's Hospital as our good turn for Christmas. Sandra Armitage and Betty Ann Laycox searched the Magic Rosebush. Sandra found her 4 year service star and Betty Ann a collector's badge. The Cross Red Queen then took command. Several of the Brownies entertained. Evelyn McNeill asked conundrums. Lynn Bradley and Mrs. Bradley led in the 'Six Little Ducks." Patsy Tuck and Marilyn Reid took charge of 'Indians are High Minded." Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph, the Red-nosed Rein- deer were special favorites. We were waiting for the dark. Fairies had left a Christmas surprise --a magic lantern so we could see "The Night Before Christmas" and "Rumplestiltskin."" The Brownies were delighted and all thanked Brown Owl and Tawny. y The meeting closed with the Magic Squeeze, Taps and Goodnight. LILLIAN: WEBSTER, Tawny Owl 12TH BROWNIES This weék 2nd and 12th Brownies met in the large room at Guide House and enjoyed the Christmas tree together. Such a jolly party we had in a gaily decorated room. Luck enough, Santa himself was there with his sleigh and reindeer. Frosty the Snowman was also there, large red candles, birds, angels and many other intriguing things. Many gaily wrapped packages were piled high underneath the tree. Dances, games were enjoyed. Also a skit and then some real magic. All the Brownies there gathered into & large circle and several carols were sung. Refreshments were then served and many grateful thanks to all the mothers for the lovely sand- wiches and cookies. A gift was pre- sented to everyone present and after a Merry Christmas and a Happy New year had been passed around, we tidied everything and then went to our different homes. Do hope your mothers will like the gift you made them Brownies and a | happy holiday to all of you. See the words of "Tiny Tim", God bless us -every one, Will see you all again January 14, 1852, MRS. WILSON, Brown Owl Passing along a culinary short- cut: Scater a few peppermint pat- ties over a freshly-baked cake and return it to a warm oven for a few minutes until patties melt and form an icing over the cake. MEAGHER'S Recommends UNDER YOUR THUMB! RAYON nx wooL COTTON ey HOT in 30 seconds! © HEATS QUICKER o STAYS HOTTER o IRONS FASTER DOUBLE AUTOMATIC Give her easier ironing 338 faster ironing : « . shorter hours over the ironing board with a famous Sun héam Doublé-Automatie Ironmaster. Start ironing rayons in 30 seconds after ou connect it. Reaches full, Ligh heat for heavy, damp linens in 2% minutes. 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