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Cheapest' Weeky: IN CANADA ™e NAM Lvey EKLY TIME lains an Immense Amount of wing, of an Ink the Best and Pers aa n Canada, F altentin m is paid t Br di APS no de "partment of ~ are importance to the Farmer AN copious Mar Al or their impartial cera of the Times will give Special *PaArtment of the Journal auth fail all the principal poin iL up to the hour a of on of their Subse: or po w ™ fikewine forms a leading feature tion < $1.00 a Year, YABLE IN ADV ANCE. he formed at any ay Period of the ore Subscribers Associaiing log a & the Cash in Advatice age TERMS: rOne Year 8 COPY FREX Jothe getter 2 ertion only is cnty The Timzs is now ded. lated, and can TE Cations to be der All ainsi tothe Prof be re petered will ied 2 post. and the CE. STEWART & Co, Proprietg lay, 1871. U RE KA» py. 1 S A 3 "GETAELE MEDICINE | UR THE CURE O» LIVER COMPLAINT. PETITE, GENERAL DIBILITY, ISEASES of THE BLOOD, © power of Toning and Strength : rt) ing been used for the above | mily. cspectfully, J. FURUSON, M. E. Minister. Lys, May 11th, nn. peed Eureka for Sick ), rdered stomach, and success, Shen on saiated th any good, and I am satisfied or to convince any to give it a trial, and Toheert y all whose condition nature, ~ OOK, Pro pr of Lyn Woolen Factory. } and wholesale by all druggists NORTHROP & LYMAN, Newcastle, B. H. MITCHEL, Co., Hamilton. ev : the Glad Tidings! E GREAT SHOSHONEES most kei. hE i rid ever Never dian Medical re? has such hed the introduction any "med WHY! pleasant and Zay 7 boii be. rel Livi nt Kidneys Digestive0 ell a as Scrofula., the he or 'the any respectable edy in large Pint Bottles 2 cents. oney to Loan. "OR FROM ONE TO TWEN. 10 be re to suit ho are : juaks nis may be obtained from ent Building and Seving 4 WELL, MCGEE & RUTLEDGE. : Solicitors, wn, : funds to loan. 3 Bricks! : E, MACHINE MADE vite Brieks, at Pa icks? . KING OF CANADIEN | Se TR $12: Treadle Sp Cy fhe Ontario Reformer PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING, BY WM. R. CLFMTE, AT THE OFFICE SIMCOE STREET, OSHAWA, CONTAINS THE LATEST FOR- EIGN and Provincial News, Local" Intell re County Basin Comme Matters, i five Miscelian per annum, in advance six Rauths 2.50 if not paid S 0 paper nued until 2 rR at the option of on comply RY with the he be id h wise ar may not be taken rt RATES OF ADVERTISING : Crd under, first insertion... To Renee, 'Rr fo ph } first insertion Hp 3 Boa Arron . per 'line oe : 3 ua, {iret Inve .- 2" ns ool hots space measured by a scale of solid fo for ein ho eid first A ane --- Others i hdvertising by the year wilh ie § c= |B Hats, Tri WILLIAM DICKIE | Begs to announce to his numerous customers that his stock of Spring & Summer Goods IS NOW COMPLETE IN STAPLE AND FANCY GOODS OF THE LATEST STYLES, Dress Goods, Prints, Muslins, Hollands, §o. Grey Cottons very cheap--24 y's heavy family $2.50, MILLINERY. Flowers, Ribb Dress and Caps; Parasols---all styles and shades; White, Black and Colored Kid Gloves. x TAITLORINAG. Simla hour vo i deprives and Renda Clot. A large stock of the best and most Fashionable Cloths in market. Orders solicited. HATS AND CAPS. Panama, Straw and Felt, in great variety; Collars, Ties, 'Gloves, Shirts, Suspenders, Umbrellas Carpet-bags, Valises, Trunks, &ec. : BOOTS AND SHOES. This department is receiving more than usual and is every description o Men's, Women's and Children's Boots, Shoes and Slippers. rete ig gre) SeigiinD and Lace Boots, at S0c. worth $1.25, SEWING MACHINES. Sole agent for the Lockman, for Oshaws, East and West Whi 'WILLIAM DICKIE. Oshawa, April 13, 1871. 140 ICENCED AUSto Prompuy attended to this Of FR a Issuer of Mamige Licenses : ---- g 'OSHAWA Liveay W. . E THOMAS b PROPRIETOR ra = ; also, Daily will ba WE >of " 2 w. ou, | ROHITECR PATENT, 'INSUR- Simcoe of Sishmers TR Gen, Bry, SEriihiey 1 Gl Bi DOMINION BANK! ° WHITBY ( GENCY J. E. } CLEILAN, Aent In Memoriam. Lb H ¥ 1 3 Bg * i 2 GRAND DISPLAY -~AT THE-- TEMPLE of FASHION. Just the place to buy the most desirable SPRING GOODS! "NOVELTIES IN MILLINERY, MANTLES AND COSTUMES. The only establishment in town where each of these departments is ik tic by Ladies of first-class ability. TREMENDOUS BARGAINS! We offer a portion of a' Bankrupt Stock of _ | Parasols, Sewed Goods, Laces, Gloves and Hosiery, AT ABOUT HALF THEIR USUAL PRICES. BOOTS AND SHOES. Another consignment of those splendid Ladies' Boots, at $1.00 per pair, just to hand. sr REMEMBER THE STAND, ® . && Temple of Fashion, Comer of King and Simcoe Streets, Oshawa. @9 Oshawa, April 20, 1871. 24 ROOM PAPER ROOM PAPER, ROOM PAPER. SUBSCRIBER BEGS MOST RESPECTFULLY TO ISFORM HIS § ] - fs ! 3 1 jes i) 1 § 878 | | | ip. | MONUMENTS, TABLE, ETC., | | OF THE FINEST QUALITY \¢ ITALIAN & AMERICA! N MiRBLE. | Guelph Sewing Machine Co. THE OSBORN Lock-Stitch Sewing Machine! SEWING MACHINES. KiNo OF AMERICAN SEWING MACHINES, excellence 'ength and durabitity, The Osborn Sewing Machine has no rival. od yements have lately been made, eu- manufacturers to it as the ne of Sewing Machines. Handreds of Oshawa, April 0, 1870. Pations and the Public generally, that he has received, direct from England, the First Instal- ment of his | Spring Stock of Paper Hanging, [To which he would call special attention. 'The t superiority of lish Paper over that of Canadian manufacture is ly acknowledged. The brilliance and firmness of the colors and the extra width of the rolls combine to estab- lish their preminence over all others. The subscriber being the only Importer of this class of Goods in Oghawa, is confident that no other House can offer Greater Inducements, either as regards - QUALITY OR PRICE. » HE HAS ALSO ON HAND A WELL ASSORTED STOCK OF Books, Stationery, FANCY 6000S, Andi Toys! Having been appointed sole agent for the Little Wanzer Sewing Machine, he can Bi eed Dost toralh than ny "ther desler in the county. 'Remember the stand, directly opposite Hindes' Hotel hawa. Oshawa, April 13th, 1871. JAMES F. WILLGX BOOK, STATIONERY FANCY 300DS STORE! IN OSHAWA. ; vicinity, that he has The subscriber most respectfully ansounceste tha tepaM! of Oshawa and Opened out a Book, Stationery Goods Store, | In the Stand Lately Occupied by Mr. RI6GS a o Tailoring Establishment, Fp "SIMCOE STREET, OSHAWA, Where he will keep constantly' on hand, a. choice assortment of Books, . Note and Ti Papers, Fancy ; A nice tot of MONOGRAM NOTE PAPER on band. A choice soryne} of BIBLES, HYMN and PRAYER BOOKS, cheap as the chea -| Sefiool J Sacks, Pens, Call na ms GEO. 8. CLIMIE. INSURE YOUR LIFE, AND YOUR PRORERTY, The Guelph Reversible oan tingle Thread Machine oll Prietics of domentic sowing. "Paces Prices 0] pra {REWIR : oud ING WAG coy, Agents for Oshawa, IN THE COMMERCIAL UNION ASSURANCE Co., Y5oXD0%, ENGLAND. CAPITAL: FULLY SUBSCRIBED L240 STERLING BRITISH ¢ COMPANY OFFERS SUPERIOR ADVAN- un am both the Life and Fire department. Rates low and terms MORLAND, WATSON &~ CO., Montreal, al Agtnteto W. R. CLIMIE. Agent for Bowmavils. . LS hte x Nothing charged for showing goods. | ly Zortry. THE YEAR'S TWELVE CHILDREN. JANUARY, worn and gray, Like an old pilgrim by the way, Watches the snow and shivering sights, As the wild curlew around him flies ; Or, huddled beneath a thorn, Sits praying for the lingering morn, FrsrUARY. bluff and bold, O'er furrows striding, scorns the cold ; SLATES Sulbat Shinisringidowy the resd, In his wrath-hand the oxen's goad Or, pores plop. ol Scatters the seed o'er the dark waste. APRIL, 8 child, half tears, half smiles, Trips full of little playful wiles ; And laughing beneath her rainbow hood, Seeks the wild violets In the wood, May, the bright maiden. singing goes, To where the snowy hawthorn blows, Watching the lambs leap in the dells, List'ning the simple village bells. JUNE, with the mower's scarlet face, Moves o'eg the clover field apace, And fast his crescent scythe sweeps on O'er spots from whenee the lark has flown. JULY--the farmer, happy follow, te see the corn grow yellow ; vy grain he tosses up ErGm his right hand as from a cup. AvueusT--the reaper cleaves his way, Through golden waves at break of day ; Or on his with corn, At sunset home is proudly borne. SerrEusEn. with his baying hound, Leaps fence and pale at every bound; And casts into the wind in scorn in old, Yeaing wi Yah lenin ald, Round swings his sturdy axe and lo ! | A fir-beanch falls at every blow. NOVEMBER cowers before the flame. Bleared crone, forgetting her name ! Watches the blue smoke curling rise, And broods upon old memories. &elections, THE FAMILY HoXS SCENES. BY T. 8 ARTHUR. "I'll not live in this way I" exclaimed Mrs. Lyon, passionately, * Such disord wrangling and irregularity rob me of peace, and make the house a bedlam, instead of quiet home. Tom !" she spoke sharply to a bright little fellow, who was pounding afid making a most intolerable din, "stop. that nose this instant ! And you, Em. not' a word from your lips. If you can't live in peace with your sister, I'll seperateyou, D'ye hear 1 Hush ! this instant." 2" Then make Jule give me my pin-cush- on. She's got it in her pocket." '"It's no such thing ; I have not," re- torted Jule. ""You have, I'say." " I'tell you I haven't." "Will you hush I" The face .of Mrs: Lyon was fiery red, and she stamped upon the floor as she spoke. "I want my pin-cushon. give ite my pin-cushon." Irritated beyond control, Mrs. Lyon caught Julia by the arm, and thrusting her hand into her pocket, drew out a thimble, a piece of lace and a pen-knife. "I told you it wasn't there, couldn't you believe me 1" mother could endure, and acting upon an indignant impulse, she boxed the ears of Julia sourdly, conscious at the same time, that Emily was chiefly to blame for all this trouble, by a wrong accusation of her sister, she turned upon her, also, adminis- tering an equal punishment. Frightened by this, the younger children, whose in- cessant noise, for the last hour, had con. tributed to the overthrow of their, moth- er's temper, became suddenly quiet, and skulked away into corners,--and the baby that was seated on the floor, between two pillows, curved her quivering lips, and glanced tearfully up to the distorted face in which she had been used to see the love light that made her heaven. A deep quiet followed this burst of passion like the hush that succeeds the storm. Alas, for the evil traces that was left behind ! Alas, for the repulsive image of that mother, daguerreotyped in an in- . | stant, on the memory of her children, and never to be effaced. How many, many times, in after years, will not a sigh heave their bosoms, as that painful reflection looks out on them from amid the dearer remembrance of childhood: , "A woman with good impulse, but with scarcely any self-control, was Mrs. She loved her children, and desired their Make Jule -" My whale life is made unhappy by it I" she would often say. " What is to be done? It is dreadful to think of a family growing up in discord and disunion. Sister at variance with sister, and brother lifting his hand against 'brother." As was usual after an ebullition of pas- sion, Mrs. Loyn, deeply depressed in spirits'as well as discouraged, retired from her family to grieve and weep. Lifting the frightened baby from the floor, she drew its head tenderly against her bosom, and leaving the nursery sought the quiet of her own room. There, repentance and through which she had just passed, and blamed herself for yielding: blindly to peasion instead of meeting the trouble among her children with a quiet discrim- ination. : A weeping calmness succeeded, still, she perplexed ih mind, as well as grieved edn pap relf control. What | was to be done with her children ? How were they to be governed aright ? Painful- ly did she fool over he own unfitriess for away with a wooden hammer on a chair OSHAWA, ONTARIO, FI FRIDAY, AUG. 18, 1871. -- the task. By this time the baby was asleep, and the mother felt something of that tranquill peace that every true mo-- ther knows when a young baby is slumber- ing on her bosom. A book lay on a shelf near where she was sitting, and Mrs. Lyon, sclircely conscious of the act, reached out her hand for the volume. She opened it without feeling any interest in its con- tents, but she had only read a few senten- Ges when this remark arrested her atten- tion. : #4 All right government of children be- gins with self-government." \ The words seemed written for her, and the truth expressed was elgvated instant- ly into perception. She saw it in the clearest light, and closed the book and bowed her head in acknowledgment of her own errors. Thus for some time she had been sitting, when the murmur of voices from below grew more and more distinct and she was soon aroused to the painful faut; that as usual, when left alone, the children were, wrangling among them- selves, * "Various noises, as if pounding, and throwing: about chairs, and other pieces of furniture, were heard, and at length a lond scream, mingled with an- gry vociferations, smote upon her ears. Indignation swelled instantly in 'the heart of Mrs. Lyon, and hurridly placing the sleeping babe in its crib, she started | for the scene of disorder, moved by an im- | pulse to punish severely the young rebels against her authority, and was half way down the stairs, when her feet were check- ed by a remembrance of the sentiment : | "" All right government of children begins { with self-government." "Will anger subdue anger? When storm meets storm, is the tempeststilled?" These were questions asked of herself, al- most. involuntarily. "This is no spirit in which to meet my children. It never has, never will en- force order and obedience," she added, as she stood upon the stairs, struggling with herself, and striving for the victory. -- From the nursery came louder sounds-of | disorder. How weak the mother felt! Yet in this very weakness was strength. "1 must not stand idly here," she said, | as a sharper cry of anguish smote her ears, | | and so she moved on quickly, and opening | | the nursgry door, stood revealed to her | children. Julia had just raised her hand to strike Emily, who stood confronting her with a fiery face. Both were a. little startled at their mother's sudden appear- ance, and both expected the storm which usually came at: such times, began to assume the defiant, stubborn air with which her intemperate reproofs were al- ways met. A few moments did Mrs. Lyon stand looking at her child grief, not anger, upon her pale countenance. How still all became. What a look of wonder came gradually into the children's faces, as they gleaned one at the other. Something of shame wag next visible. And now the mother conscious of a new power over the young rebels of the household. ""Emely," said she, speaking mildly, and yet with a touch of sorrow in her voice she could not subdue, "I wish you would go up into my room, and sit with Mary while she sleeps." Without a sigh of opposition, or even of | reluctance, Emily went quietly from the | nursery, in obedience to her mother's de- sires, "This room is very much: in disorder, Julia." : Many times Mrs. Lyon said, under like circumstances, /' Why don't you put things to right?" or, "I never saw such girls ! If all in the room was topsy turvy, and the floor an inch thick with dirt,you'd never turn over a hand to put things in order," or, '"' Go and get the broom, this minute and sweep up the room. You are the lagiest girl ever lived." Many, many times, as we have said, had such, language been addressed by Mrs. Lyon, under like circamstances; to Julia and her sister, with- out procuring anything like éven partial execution of her wishes. But now the mild intimation that the room was in dis- order, produced all the effects desired. -- Julia went quickly about the work of re- storing things to the right places, and in a few minutes order was apparent where confusion reigned before. Little Tommy, whose love of hammering was an incessant annoyance to his mother, ceased his - din on her sudden appearance, and 'for a few moments stood in expectation of a boxed ear ; for a time he stood pussled to under- stand the new aspect of affairs. that he was not under the ban, as usual, he commenced slapping a stick over the top of an old table, making a most ear piercing noise, Instantly Julia said in, in a low voice to him-- ""Don't Tommy, don't do that. know it makes mother's head ache." ® "' Does it make your head ache, moth- er 1" asked the child, curiously, and with a pitying tone in his voice, as he came creeping up to his mother's side, and look- ing at her as if in doubt whether he would he repulsed or not. " Sometimes it does, my son," replied Mrs. Lyon, kindly, "and it is always un- pleasant. Won't you try to play without making so much noise I" * Yes, mother, I'll try," little fellow, cheerfully. sometimes." He looked earnestly st his mother, as if something more was in his thoughts, ¢ Well, dear, what else 7" said she en- You answered the "But I'll forget " When I forget, you'll tell me, won't r ; "Yes, love." And then I'll stop. "But don't scold me, mother, for then I can't stop," The mother's heart was touched. She caught her and bent her face down, to conceal Sap Satiots, hill 1 rostod bu the silken hair of her child. "Be a good boy, Tommy, soil moter will never scold you any mord™ she murmured gently in his ear. | of us do it nevertheless. were --_-- prime about her neck, he pressed his lips tightly against her cheek, thus sealing his part of the contract with kiss, How sweet to the mother's taste were those first fruit of self-control. In order to govern herself, what a power had she acquired. In stilling the tempest of pas- sion in her own bosom, she had poured the oil of peace over the storm-fretted hearts of her children. Only the first fruits were there. In all her after days did that mother strive with herself, ere she entered into a contest with the inherited evils of her chjldren, and just so far she was able to overcome evil in them. Often, very often, did she fall back into 'old states, and often, very often, was self-resistance only a slight effort, but the feeble influence for good that flowed from her . words or actions whenever this was so, warned her of her error, and promped a more vigorous self- control. Need it be said, that she had an abundant reward ? Hz preaches well who lives wall. Hse that is hasty fishes in an empty pond. THE less wit a man has, the less he knows he wants it. v Sone men need a tempest to save them from a wreck. PREFER loss before unjust gain, for that brings grief but once, this forever. As daylight can be séen thrpugh very small holes, so little'things will illustrate a person's character. You may glean knowledge by reading, but you must seperate the chaff from the wheat by thinking. Wz have no right to put the earth in mourning for,our own troubles, but many Tae worthiest people are the most in- jured by slander, as we usually find that to be tlie best fruit which the birds have been pecking at. Tue happiness of the human race in | this world does not consist in our being devoid of passions, but in our learning to ¢ommand them. The Chinese have many customs pecul- iar to their nation, which strike the * out- side barbarian" as unnatural and strange. Their religious traditions are so deep-root- ed and so strongly fostered by supersti- tion as to give little encouragement to mis- sionary laborers. The most striking of those superstitions are those pertaining to the disposition of their dying and dead re- latives. Very often the dead bodies of Chinese men and women are found in un- tenanted buildings in the Chinese 'quarter of the city, and those unacquainted with their superstitions are prone to set the de- sertions of dying friends down as acts of selfishness. This, however, is not so, as the Chinese believe that if persons die in the house that they have lived in before death, their spirits will haunt the place ever after, and give unpleasant evidence of their presence to all who remain. In order to the manifestations of the restless as 500m as the doctor gives er the patient cannot survive he is taken to another place and left alone to die., Yesterday a case of this kind was reported to the coromer, A young Chinawoman, who had been given up by her attending physician, was car- ried by her relatives to an untenanted house on Ellis Place, off Pacific, above | Dupont. They then dressed her in the best clothing, spread a new matting on the floor and laid her on it. They brougt in preserves, meats, fruits, 'candies boiled rice, etc., lighted some punks and retired, leaving her alone to await the common de- | stroyer. During the day she died, and was found last night. ' Coroner Lotteeman removed the body, and it is now at the | morgue awaiting further action of the re- latives, who will probably leave her to be men--those of the wealthy classes--do not desert their dead friends, and for the furtherance of this desire there are several hospitalsfitted up, in order that those about | to die may be removed there until they have paid the debt of nature, after which they are buried with all the ceremonies of he disciples of Gunfucig, --San Francisco i PoLiTENEss isin business what stratagem | is in war. -It gives power to weakness ; it | li defici Itis invincible | either i in the attack or defense. Rea fidelity Bin DTH; but it exists | in the heart. They only deny its worth and power who never loved a friend, nor labored to make one happy. Wirsovur virtue there can be no true happiness ; but we want love with virtue to give us the good which 'this world - is capable of bestowing. A HUSBAND advertises thus : Maria has strayed or been ever returns her will get his, As to trusting her, any! they see fit ; foras I debt, it's not likely '"" FELLow trabe preacher, "ef I'd been eatin' dried apples for a week, and den took to drinkin' for a mont, I-couldn't feel more swell'd up dan I am dis minnit wid pride and wanity at "My wife seein' such full *tendance har dis evenin"." | AT a school inati the teach asked a boy whether he couldforgive those who had wronged him ? ®Could you," said the teacher, ' forgive a boy, for ex- ple, who had insulted or struck you 7" '" Y-e-e-s, sir," replied the lad, very slow- ly, ¢ I--think--I--could, if he was big- ger than I am." Maxixe him smart : 'as old Yan Shro- omps was giving his youngest, who was inclined to be bad, a good cow-hiding, the Bulletin. | THE IRISH GIRLS STRATAGE. An amusing insta mio of Hib sim- DADDY'S BOY. In a certain small town on the Missise- ippi lived a man who made a business. He bought 'up horses for a shy Sree, and "was considered protty good on a trade. One day a long, lean, queer, green look- ing specimen of the Western country ar- rived with a boat load of horses. He in- quired for the horse jockey. * Daddy sent me down with some har- ses to sell," he said, in a sort of half-idi- otic tone.- "Who's he * Daddy. "' What do you want for your horses!" said the jockey. # Daddy said you could set yer price I" was the response. "Let me go down to the boat and look at your horses," said Brown, and they were soon at the boat. Brown examined the horses, and nained the prices he would give for this and that, and the country bumpkin made no ' ob- jection, although some of the offers were not more than one half the real price. of the animal. One of the by-standers gent- ly suggested that he was being cheated, but he returned : -- ** Daddy said Brown could name the price himself," and so Broyn had it all his - own way. At last they came to 'another animal which did not look much suherior to any of the rest. "I"must have more for that anermal, ssid the fellow. * Daddy says he can run some." . "Run!" said Bro "that nag can't' run worth a cent." = ' "Daddy said so, 1 guess Daddy knows." " Why, I've got one up to the stable that could beat him all hollow," said Brown. '" Guess not," said the fellow. - 'Let's try em. Tl} bet the whole load of hosses on 'im." "Tl stake five thousand dollars against your boat load of horses," said Brown, winking at the orowd, 'and these men," selecting two, shall hold the stakes." Brown's five thousand was handed to one, and . the other went on board the horse-boat. : 'One of the crowd started to remonstrate with the poor idiotic fellow, but he only "Golly! dad told me he could run some and daddy oughtto loose im if he was sich a fool as to tell. me that, when he ldn't." Brown's sleek racer was brought out, and Brown mounted him. The country- man led out his animal and mounted . on his back, looking as uncouth and awkward as the animal he proposed to ride. The word was given and they started amidst the laughter of the crowd. At the commencement Brown was ahead, and it | plicity is given in the following little story {wld usby a friend, in whose words we give it:-- Molly, our housemaid, is & model one, who takes a broomstick like a sceptre, and who has an abhorrence for dirt, and a sympathy for soap-suds that amounts to a war upon our love papers, in the shape of undusted and unrighted corners. One day she entered our library in a confused and uncertain manner quite dif- ferent from her bustling way. She stood st the door with a thumb and finger, which she held out at arm's length, as if she had a gunpowder plot in her grasp. ' In answer to our in- quiries as to her business she answered :-- '" An' it plase your honor, I'm 'a poor girl, as han't munch larnin' an' yo sees, plase your honor, Paddy O'Reilly, and Ireland, has been writin' me a letter--a love letter, plase your honor ; ' an'--an--" Weg d her embarr t, and of- fered to relieve it by reading it to her.-- Still she hesitated while she twisted a bit of raw cotton between her fingers. '"Sure," she resumed, an' that's jist what want, but it isn't 'a gentleman like yerself that would be liking to know the boy cried out, '""Oh! 'dear fadder; it makes me shmart!" " Dat's shust vat I | vants," said the old man, as he whacked | away with renewed vigour. sang, "Come, ye disconsolate." officiating clergyman, feeling awkward about it, attempted to mend matters by giving out a humn, but, unluckily, struck into the one begi ,*¢ Mistaken souls, that dream of bliss I" Jupex B., in reprimanding a criminal, among other names called him a scoun- drel. The prisoner replied : "Sir, I am not as big a scoundrel as you honor"-- here the culprit stopped, but finally added --*" takes me to be." 'Put your words closer together," said the judge, redden- ing. ' Ar the late annual meeting of the Lon- don City Mission, in Exeter Hall, London, the Earl of Shaftesbury, in speaking of Sy Ol ai Soin She crfiney of the Roman Catholic said : "If His Holiness the Pope Ii a wie, she would not allow him for an hour to remain inthe belief that he was infallible." A oop story is told of a Markham phy- sician, who recently vacéinated a family of twelve persons and charged twelve dollars. A few days thereafter he took a dozen cabbage plants in pait pay,as he supposed, but upon final settlement learned to his surprise, that Mr. Farmer charged doctor's prices--*' one dollar a-head." Ir was at Admiral Washington's table that Dr. Johnson made that excellent re- ply to the poet Coxcomb, who absolutely baited him during dinner-time. *' Pray, now," said he to the doctor, ' what would you give, old gentleman, to be 'as young and sprightly as I am 1" " Why, sir, 1 think," replied Johnson, "" I would almost consent to be as foolish." Some young rascals annoyed an old gen- Tushed out, and caught one who was look- ing on, and thinking him to be one of the offenders, began flogging him. Theharder he whipped, the harder he laoghed, until he stopped and sought 'an explanation. « " Well," said the gd: T at he Shuse you ares ain't the | His arms stole upwards, and. as they | boy POOR COPY Ar an Indiana wedding, lately, the choir | The | sacrets between us, an' so (there she twist- ed the cotton quite nervously) if it will | only plase yourthonor, while yerrading it, 50 that ye may not hear it yerself, yell | jist put this bit of cotton in yer ears an' | stop up yer hearin' an' thin the secrets 4ll be unknown to ye!" We hadn't the heart to refuse her, and with the gravest face possible complied with her request ; but often since we have laughed heartily at the incident. THE way to coma pest sai platy of room in a crowd--carry a pot of pain i in each hand. « A Wesr Virginia man amused himself by playing panther'in a panther's skin to frighten a boy.. . The boy had & rifle with him, and there was a funeral from the man's late residence two days after. Trick vroN TRAVELERS. --Ata certain hotel in Ohio, they seat a man at dinner in front of s mirror like the concave side of a cylinder, which makes his reflection |. that of a thin, hungry, lantern jawed, cadaverous chap. When heisn't watching, the waiter flops it round, for the thing || works on pivots, so that the convex side is turned out, and the diner, uponagsin look- ing up, is startled to see himself swelled out to the extreme of corpulency, like a champion fat man. Of course he doesn't dare to eat any more. He feels that if he did he would burst, aud the soul' of the landlord is made glad by the economic de- vice. " Sraaxcex, I want to leave my dog in this ere office till the boat starts. I'm afraid somebody will steal him." * You can't do it," said the clerk ; '"take him out." 'Well, stranger, that is cruel; but you're both dispositioned alike, and he's kinder company for you." 'Take him out I" roared the clerk. * Well, stranger, I don't think you're honest, and you want watching. Here, Dragon," he said to the dog, "sit down here, and watch that fellow sharp I" and turning on his heel, he said to the clerk, 'Put him out, stranger, if he is troublesome !" The - dog laid their ill the boat started, watch- ing and growling at every movement of She dlork, who gave him the better part of the office. : Say between her | kpew the better than him dosent brathe in ould" looked as though the poor fellow was to be badly beaten, when suddenly, his horse plunged forward, and the horse jockey was left far behind. "Such going had never been seen in those parts before, and poor Brown was crest-fallen as the cheers of the by-standers fell on his ears." - "TN take the spondulix," said the countryman, riding up, *' dad was right. The anermal can get round a little." Brown tried to say that it was alla joke, but the fellow would have his money. "1 guess I won't trade to-day," said he, as he put it in his old, rough, leather pocket book. "Tl go back to daddy." 3 Brown was completely "sold," for he at once that thg countryman was a little shrewder than people imagined him and had just come there purposely to win his money from him. Next time he did not ridicule a horse: that *' daddy ssid could run some," A New Yeux wholewle groes, » who ine become. rich in his business, has lately made the following revelations. Hesayn his rule always was, when he sold a bill of goods on credit, to immediately subscribe for the local paper of his debtor. So long as his customers advertised liberally and vigorously, he rested, but as soon as he began to contract his advertising he took the factas evidence that there was trouble = - ahead, and he invariably went for his debt. " For," said he, " the man who feels too poor to make his business known, is too poor todo business." The with- drawing of an advertisement is an evidence of weakness that busi men are not slow to observe. Trey have so much money in England just now that they don't know what to do ° with it. Herapath's Journal of July 16 says : --"There is an absolute glut of mon- ey. Nothing could afford a stronger proof | of such a condition than the huge amount . of private depesits of the bank of England the following new style of making butter : "A ffew days since, Mrs Mary M Hughes blast of seven kegs of powder, started » block of granite in their quarry at Bay View one hundred and twenty-two feet in height, forty-two feet wide, and thirty fest deep, contaning about one hundred thous- and cubic feet, and weighing over fourteen thousand tons-- supposed to be the largést 'block ever quarried in this or any other country. Ir is rumaped that the Duke of Suther- land, Mr. John Pender, and Mr. Fowler the eminent engineer, are about to pur- chase the Suez Canal for £6,000,000. The undertaking cost the French company 22,000,000. Tix Commissioners. of the New York Riot Relief Fund have sent to the Presi- dent of the Police Board $10,000 to be giv- en to 28 policemen, wounded in the late ¥ioh, sums satging Sram $300 to 4500.