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 -K'-^;- T*ra PAUL latuTday, Ncv. 130, „ p/o// ti* rest. ^* ^ortU^ If it's tit test, f„ P the -ahitesi her h.^^***** PEKMAKCKT iviiijsCompaDy tPOK4TED 1885. Toronto St., loronto f«i. â- â€¢4,8M,IM I««M.M» 1 and reeourceg of this CompMT creaaed facilities it hMrwBntlT 15 land owcere with ehem money to meet with prooptnegg »Ddi| rate of interest aU leqninnenii actory real estate security e made to either of the OompuT^ SON.Msnag'tr. Director, Toronto CHOPPING HBURI â- S â- BRAMTFCSD. CANADA.â€" imaciated Invalid Saily food is nwded to re- »d vitality. This Ini' ains it in largest pr' weak stomach is the food I by the highest scientific iterial, and is the most sick. C FAMILY USB, SAFETY OIL ^LERS FOR IT. wic Depots ;o Front street east Sparlt street L. W. Yeimans W- E-'Cavanagh. BulKX* ES-St. Johhs, Jos. »^ .BiusiKBr,W.Jch«t»**- !o., Toronto, Caaa^ 1871. itnmed: •*•â- ' asu_ â€" gtMW t»j^^ â€"..â€" ^^|«gt ti»ii^ :T^4lI PEISOH GATES. MBBCBB BKF.'KHATOBT. t^\ (â-  What institute Is that?" is the inTari- j,le enquiry of the tourist. II The Mercer Reformatory, for woinen," ^g reply given, provided the question be yked of a woll informed citizen. Passing through the front tffioea to the -formafcory proper, I was shotvn first the ^yilege corridor, a bright, airy departmeot, Ljfg^ining some doz 3n cells Xbese cells are really tiny bed chambarB, ^b lighted by a separate window. They eontsin the needful toilet appliances, » ohidr, l^x, bracket shelves and small bon bed- itesd. Xae bedding consists of blankets, sheets, lt|H pillows and white quilts, and looks as in- *••' ^tjng as any weary body oould desire. ^together theae diminutiye rooms, so fresh in thsir cleanliness, most beoome potent factors in purifying the hearts and lives of cheir ocsupints. •' These cells are awarded to those inmatec vhosegood conduct justifies the bestowal of t special privilege,' remarked my guide, i and they are a possession much coveted by the inmates." Farther on we entered the aewiog room, where the clothing is m^e and repaired I examined the piles of underclothing that lav en readiness for use, and found all the articles needful for a wcmin's wardrobe, neatly made of heAVjr factory cotton. The inmates wear a uniform costume of blue denham, a material much the same as that used for shirting and overalls On Sun day each woman is given a long white apron and a linen collar. They are allowed the privilege of dressing their hair, which is not cat upon entering the institution, in any neat method. " The inmates are not allowed to wear any of their ovrn clothin? during their stay in the institution," said the attendant. â-  It is put away for them until their term expires. " "Do they generally come in well sup- plied " I asked. " Occasionally they are very well dress- ed," was the reply •' bat often they are in a terrible state of destitution. It depends a good deal upon t\e offence for which they are arrested." Kst.-acing our steps, we next visited the knitting room. In this department all the knitting required by the institution is done, in addi!;ion to contract work, which is oc- casionally given. "In the knitting and sewing depart- ments," said the attendant, •' we have those inmates who, by reason o; bodily weakness, are unfitted for mote arduous service." " Have you any diffisnlty in controlling those under your care " I enquired, glarcing at the groups who were knitting and in- dulging in quiet conversation. "Not much," she answered. "They work largely by impulse, and have no more steadi- ness of purpose than little children. It is difiBsult also to retain their attention for any length of time. We have educational classes in the knitting roon, through the winter months, for an hour and a half each day, when those who wish to do so may learn to read and write." As education is certainly an aid to reforma- tion, it would surely be a desirable thing to continue these classes all the year around. The laundry is financially the most pro- ductive department in the Mercer its net revenue last year amounted to over $2,000. There are two distinct laundries, one being used for the Mercer and Central Prison wash- ing; the second being reserved for family and contract washing. As we entered the ironing room the chat- ter of the busy workers ceased, and they bent over their tables in silence. "Do you allow conversation in working hours " I enquired of the matron. "In this department, yes," she answered. "The girls are oonetantly moving, and their remarks must necessarily be made in a tone loud enough for me to hear. Therefore, we know it to be harmless. It is not the loud talking that troubles us, but that which u carried on in low cone and which may be good or evil but most likely the latter. Then we descended to the refractory ward. "What forms of punishment do you adopt " I enquired. " Deprivation of privileges, solitary con- finement in light cells, dark cells, and in extreme cases the dungeon. No, we never resort to corporal puiiishment in any form." I inspected the dark cells and dungeon, and found them to be clean, dry and dimly lit, furnished with a straw pallet and cover- let. " The dungeon, with bread and water diet, will generally reduce the most refractory to ebedience," said the attendant, " but lee have rarely to resort to these expedients. Months may go by without one punishment, and this ward is often vacant for a long time." Upon further enquiry^ I found that the women are looked in their cells at half-past seven each evening. From that hour nntil five or six in the morning they are free from any supervision beyond tbat exercised l)y an overworked watchwoman who nukea her long rounds through the extensive building, and who cannot nmke more than a brief and harried visit two or tluree times during the night. These thirty-three inmates, eaoh with their varied experianoe in deadly evil, with the restraints of the work room removed, and the freedom of night and darknees about them, have nnlimited opportnnily to exchange oonfidenoea of tlie wortt deeerip- tion without check or rebuke. Is this » desirable thine? But this is but a small defect compared with the fact that there is absolntely no classification of the inmates. They ndflgle freely in recreation hoon, woA togetMr, eat together in one large, gloomy dining room and deep in adjoining oeFs. For vagrancy, larceny, aad aaaaolt, drank- enness and prostitution of a greater or leai degree, these women are sentenced to mingle together for a period tA mmtha or yean. Many are first o£Fenden, guilty oalyoi mmor evil, sentenoed mayliapB by â- pma county judge at the reqoeit of an anxioaa father who dedres the rafonaation of Us erring ohOd. Many odian, alaa, are liard- ened criminala who hava lived a Ufa of the vilest sin that womanhood oan oompaaiL KnmberB of tha ininataa are yonng girb yet in th^ early taen% othan are aldariy women who have epaBtan tfadr Urea in ana out of prison. What good jnflwaiKâ€" «hi tk« wnf«*- wwted itafrezart that win BO* ba mac* tiua Munteraotad by tlM a«fl riHPatf fM( i»- di«ainiiBateaaiMbiioiiit nnmber of re oonunitmenti â€" a raaord wliioh I did not findâ€" « few particulara attracted my attention which may be â€" ^whioh oertain- ly onght to beâ€" of intereat'to tlie general pnblic. The total expehiliture for the year ending in September, 1887, was 929,783 40. or oloae upon $30 000. The net revenue $3 595 93. Therefore, the institation oosta over t26,C00 yearlv, the avwaga daily ooat per inmate be ing57 98 centa, or $4.06 par week. How many respectable working girla are there in Toronto who are oompeUed to live on laaa than that amount? Out of 142 inmatea oommittad, 77 were aentenoed for six months, 24 for twelve montiia and the remainder between one and two years. Of theae 46 were under 20 yeara of afte, 50 between 20 and 30. 38 between 30 and 50, and the remainder over 60 years. Fifty out of 142, or over one-third of the toital nnmber, were guilty of personal im- morality in various phases, 35 were commit- ted for vagrancy, 25 for larceny and 16 for drunkenness. *l There is very little sickness among the inmates of the institution," said the attend- ant, answering my enquiry. " The hospital is closed at present, and the general health is very good. We had only one death last year." When we consider the lives of those wo- men previous to incarceration, and the ex- cesses appertaining thereto, such a record bears testimony to the careful supervision exercised in this department. The chapel is a large handsome apar£ ment, the finest in the building. Religious services for both Pretestants and Roman Catholics are conducted at stated times throughout the week, and on Sunday morn- ing a Sunday school is held, when the in- mates are brotight in personal contact with Christian ladies, who labor earnestly to influence them for good. I have rarely seen a more impressiva sight than these women and girls present when assembled for one of these services. Swayed ever by impulse, a hymn, a text, a tender wora will bring a softened look on many faces, and a quick tear even in many eyes, while good resolutions are made, too often to be broken by the evil influence of associates more hardened. That reformation, thorough and complete, is possible has been proved in many in- stances but it has been despite the associa- tion, and due rather to the personal efforts of the staff or kindly hearted philanthropists for as one ,lady recently remarked " No one knows what the women in the Mercer have to endure from their companions,when- ever they endeavor to fight their way up- ward into a purer, higher life." A Hot Ghiiscinas. An English writer says, " I have spent Christmas under very varied circumstances on shipboard in the North Atlantic in a gale of wind in the tropical ocean in a c^m, with the rain falling in torrents in the backwoods of dinada, with snow for my bed, while the thermometer registered b9 Fahrenheit below the freezing point with- out fool of any kind exsept salt pork, and not enough of even that and in South America, almost eaten up by mosquitoes." His South American experience he thus de- scribes After bathing we returned to breakfast, and as the sun mounted higher, and poured down his scorching rays upon us tUl the mercury stood at 104 ° Fahrenheit in the shade, we were glad enough to seek shelter from the fierce heat in whatever nook or comer we could find. There was no appearance of Christmas around us except the plum-pudding, brought by a provident member of the staff all the way from England in a hat-case, to which we endeavored to do justice when the cooler air of evening had set in, and we, like so many wild animals of the forest, emerged from the lairs in which we had been hiding. As we sat round that pudding, suffeiing all the while agonies of torture from the attacks of innumerable mosquitoes, we thought of our friends far off, and wished them all a happy Christmas, spent under more comfortable circumstances than fell to our lot that day. As to our enemies, I trust we forgave them, and were in peace and Christian charity with all mankind, if not with the insect world. The F eration Qaestion. it is not the want of sncoesa of the appeal for federation which has produced the reoent agitation in tne ranks of opponents. On the contrary, it is the success of the enterprise and the practical steps recently taken to carry forward the work that haa aroused this open antagonism. We would say to all loyal Methodists. Do not be disturbed by rumours about the alleged failure or obatmo- tion of the movement. They are desipned to create a feeling of doubt and unoertainty. With Ood's help we shall go steadily for- ward till we enter the new Victoria in the Queen's park to take our full share in mould- ing the intellectual life of this province. Let those who have snbaoribed arrange to pay their instalments as early as pooaible. The people of Toronto should now put forth a liberal and anited effort to raise $50,000 ad- ditional to what they have promised. It Might be Worse. The Arabs, says an exohai^ have a oos. tom of thanking God that it is no worse. If he loses an eye, he thanka Gcd that it was not both eyes if he loaea a hand, he thanks God it was not both hands; if he breaks his leg, he thanks God it was not his neok. JDr. Johnson used to say that a habit of looking at the beat aide of every event is better than a tboaaand pounds a year. When Fenelon's library was on fire, " God be praised," he exdalmed, " that it u not the dwelling of aome poor man " Thii is the true inirtt of submission one of the moat boantlnil traits that oan pos- aeaa the heart. Will»not every reader re- solve to aee tlie sonny aide of the world? If ao, yon have partly won the battle of Ufa at tlwontaet. An ofBdal ia apectle n of the honaaa of New TMk ahowa that 33.390 oi tham inbabitad by 1,079.728 paopla, of wham ltf,610 are nndsr fiva yaanof aga. Ibaaa ^gioM tdl a atoy of bidaonlBaMnli^ and W f a t ohi da iw. It alMwa tha* man tiwi tfwo-tlifada «t tiia poMlatiaB of N«ir Y9A ham ao fnpar fumm, and Aafe tha naiotf^ «f tham thUt Wt k aa« iracth iMBf rvr aoBtfaMiM ottarwiaaflMBninbareftSaiNB'Ute fR« if MM in tfia taoaawiti wooid b* Hotel for Women. There are twen^-threa woman inspactara in thaNew Yotfc Custom Hooaa. Amam them ia a sister of Roaooe CtmUing. Iliey reoeive $21 per wnalr And yet anoth e r Ameiioan girl ia to many a f oreigaaK and a title. The engasamant ia annonnoed of Baron Von Sohroeder. of the Pmaaian Imperial Guards, to Miaa Pritoh- ard, «f Biaton. It ia aaid that tha death of Booaaia Banker Flood wiU give his daughter, Miaa Jennie, $50,000,000 and make her the riohaat yonng woman in tlia world. She ia fairly waU to do now. It is related that one day aa aha waa aitting in her aawlng ohair, bar father dropped $2,500,000 of 4 per oent. U. S.bonda in her lap. Some distinoave qnaUty haa alwaya bean aaaooiated in the pnbUo mind with the lady of the White House. With Mri. Grant it was interest in national affairs with Mrs. Hayes, Temperanoe with Mrs. Clevelpuid, beauty, and with Mrs. Harriaoh it promiaea to be domeatioity. Nearly aU the itema about her tell of her doing her own marketing and praise her skill aa a honae- keeper. A letter from Alabama tells of a girl "who can drive like Jehu, ride and shoot like a cowboy, run like a professional and swim Uke a duck. She will go rowing with no30mpany but hef dog and gun, and she can drop her oars, spring to her feet with her gun and shoot a marsh hen or a gros- beak without rocking the boat or misplacing the oars. She sleeps on pillows of down from birds and ducKs killed by her own hand, and expects by next spring to have enough feathers of the same kind to make a feather bed." Mrs. Harrison is an enthusiastic ohiua painter and showed a correspondent the other day with pride a set of salad and fruit plates carefully painted under the instruc- tion of a skilful Dresden artist tiowin Indianapolis. Eaoh plate was decorated with the separate ingredients of a salad. One bore a delicate spray of celery, another bore a sliced lemon or a bit of lettuce, an? other a red tomato cut in half, and so on through the order of pickles, carrots, olives, cucumbers and purple beets. The fruit plates were finely designed with different fruit â€" currents, gooseberries, plums and grapes. Among other gems were a water color of pansies and a large square tile with chrysanthemums. Twenty-five years ago the now Princes of Wales and future Queen of England was living on the third fioor of a comer house In Copoohagen, and her father, who no one ever dreamed then of being a King, was poorer than m ^ny a burgher in the name street. She and her two sisters, now the Czirine of Russia and the Duchess of Cum- berland, occupied tlie same room, scantily furnished, and instead of a wardrobe a cur- tain drawn across the wall hid the pegs on which their few dressw, hung. They had never worn a silk dress in their lives. Now Alexandra doubtless has all the dresses she wants, but it is more than likely that she looks back with pleasure upon those years is the happiest of her life. Almost any morning about 3 o'clock in Charleston, B.C., a lady who has nerve, not nerves, may be seen going home frcm her work. She is proofreaider for The Charles- ton World. She comes from a family which is known both for brains and pluck. Her duties take her to the office of the news- paper about 8 o'clock every night and de- tain her there until 3 the next mozning. But she does not rely upon mere courage. She carries a loaded revolver in one htmd and a lantern ia the other. The police keep a lookout for her goings and comings, and a lookout as she passes their beats. She is a maiden lady and the task is unpleasant, but she considers it a duty to work, and what "her hands fiad to do" she doss is with all her might." Oar Seventy Year Glooks. Our brains art seventy year clocks. The Angel of L'fe winds them up once for all, then closes the case and gives the key into the hand of the Angel of Resurrection. Tic tao I tic tao 1 go the wheels of thought. Our will cannot stop them. They cannot stop themselves. Sleep cannot still them. Madnesa only makea them go faster. Death alone can break into the oaae, and, seizing the ever swii^jing pendulum, which we oaU the heart, silenoes at last the clinking of the terrible escapement we have carried so long b«aeath our wrinkled foreheads. If we oould only get at them as we lie on our piUows and oonnt the dead beats of thought after thought and image after image jarring through the ever tired organ I Will nobody back those wheels unoonple the pin- ion, cot the string that holds those we^hts, blow up the infernal miMshine with gnnpo w- der What a passion comes over ns aome- tlmeafor rilence and reat that this terrible meohanism unwinding the endleaa tapestry (rf time, em roidered with apeotral fignrea of life and death, oould have but one brief hoUday Who can wonder that men awing themaelvea off from beams in hempen laaaoa? that tiiey jump off from parapeta into the swift and gargling waters beneath? that they take ooniud of the grim friend who has to attar but his one peremptory mono- syllaUe, and the restkaa machine ia shiver- ed aa a vaae that ia daahed apon a marble floor? If anybody would only contrive some kind of a lever that one oonld throat in among the worka of thia horrid antomaton and oheok them or alter their rate of going, what would the world give for the discovery ?â€" [Oi W. Holmea. Slaves of Fashion. Mrs. Anna J. MQler, when she delivered her tenifio anathema against bostlea in the Detroit Women'a Convention oharaoterized them aa optical horrora and wretohed homna, and deobu'ed that women would travel tbe wwld over to find akiUed aorgaons had na- ture ao disfi^ored her. Anna forgot that women ware not bom in theatie bonnata or Frendi boota, and that aU of their everyday attire and admnment ia the invention of na- oearfty and taafee, bad taata, maybe, bat atill wooaan'a taata. ThadaoMaof adozaa wo- man^ ooBgraaHa aad aU tha ridionl* thM tha nawnuara can indite won't ahrialt tha boa- tla or lower tlM booaaia and boos heela titt tha cqnaUjr nrttiah, aai gat lirad of triw, afcwq- nijnatail.Tlarlhtol btettafaagoodthfav* Itspowwi His Other Self: An old lady who has had yean oJF ao- %|iaiiitania with^domipadfi animals, envba- tioaUy says, "There's only one ttlng* Btnpider than a pig, and that's a hen." A writer in the- Poptdar Seienee Monthly however, takee a diflbrwit view of the sland- ered fowl. He deolarea that hena show an interesting variety of diapoaitions, and gives nnmerooa instanoea of their indii^nal oharaoteristiaa. An amnaing teat of this differenoeof Aspoaition in barnyard fowla â- uy be made by plaoing a piece of looking- l^aaa agidnat the trank of a lante tree, aM mying a train of own in front of it. Some hena wUl disoover what they aU take for a new arrival, with mild oorioaity, and merely lodt at it intently, periwps peering behind the tree, and than walk quietly away. Others peck the glass angrily, and insist upon fighting, whUe a few nervous females show a great deal of noisy excitement. We tried the valiant old autocrat of the fsrmyam with this triok, and he was at once roused to fury. Dropping his head, when some ten feet m front of tie glass, he began a cautious advance, but soon lost sight of hu enemy by moving too far to one side. After crowing fiercely, and looking around uneasily for a few moments, he returned to the train of corn, and almost instantly saw the strange ooek nearer than before. More stealthy approach, another failure to keep sight of the foe, and great excitement then, a third time, he began to eat, only to be startled by the- hostile presence nearer than before. At last, he walked right up to the glass, and braced himself for the shook of oambat. The counterfeit, of course, foUowed his every movement with ominous celerity. There was one fierce peck at the angry head in the glass, and then a crash, aa our infuri- ated champion hurled himself against his likeness and broke the glass into a hundred fragments. The mingling of astonishment, rage and trinmpb in the bird's appearance, as he whirled abou*- startled at the cracking noise, and bewilder od by the total disappear- ance of the enemy, was comical to behold. Then he rushed round behind the big pear- tree, evidently thinking that the cowardly stranger might be hidden there. Not find- ing him, the victor strutted about, too excit- ed to eat, and crowed long and loud over his triumph. The other cock had apparently \xea wiped out oE existence, and our old fighter could scarcely credit his senses. EzpeDsiye Bmlding Material. "How is your papa getting along " asked Mrs. Yeast of the Crimsonbeak boy,' the other day, when she was waiting for his mother to make her appearance in the parlor. "Oh, bully I He's going to build a house." " Going to build a house I How do you know that?" " Well, I heard mamma say he brings a brick home in his hat every night." What His Mother Said. A lad in one of the London Board Schools was found guilty of a serious infraction of discipline, and was directed by his teacher to tell his mother when he got home what misdemeanour he had committed. The next morning the schoolmistress called Johimy to her desk, when the f oUowing dialogue en- saed :â€" " Well, Johnny, did you inform your mother what infraction of discipline you were guilty of yesterday, and the repri- mand and ptmishment you received?" "Yes'm," was the sententious reply, " Well, and what did your mother say " " She said she'd like to wring your neck for you." No more discipline reports were sent home to that mother. Fearfully and Wonderfully Made. Avoid quotations, unless you are well studied in their import and feel their per- tinence. A man the other day, while look- ing at the skeleton of an ass which had been dug out of a sandpit, and admiring snd won- dering at the structure of that despised ani- mal, made a very mal-adroit use of one. " Ah 1" said he, with the deepest humanily, and a simplicity worthy of La Fontaine, " we. are fearfully and wonderfully made 1" Insnlt Added to Injary. Irascible Old Gentleman â€" " Confoond you sir I That's my com yon stepped on." Affable Stranger â€" " Excuse me, sir. I am deeply grieved at the result of my awkward- ness, and I beg you will accept my sincsrest apologies. But, since you have mtroduoed the subject, wiU you allow me to say that I have here a simple and inexpensive Uttle article, which is positively warranted to cure any oaae of corns, bunions, or in- growâ€"" It cannot but be mortifying to the nation- al pride of our American coonns to find that oinsens of the United States have ao often, when abroad, to depend upon the ooorteay of British consuls for protection. The moat reoent instance wasatPort-au-Prinoe, where the oaptain and pasaeiurars of an American steamer seized by a Haytian man-of-war had to b^ the protection of the Britiah con- sul, the b. S. ofioial there having to oonfeaa he waa powerlesa to render any aaaiatanoe. Tha faot that tha Britiah conaola in foreign porta have alwaya been ready to give thdr good offioea on benaU of distreawd Amerioana ought to promote a very friendly feeling to- wards Great Britain on the part of Amerio- ana at home, bnt^ aa it of ttfn happeniis that the conferring of a benefit is oonstdered by the person boiefited aa a ground 61 grievance against the benefaotor, a similar anomaly may occur in the case of. nations. The oaoae of female medical edooation, in spite of opposition, prejudice, and mivepre- sentation, is slowly but sorely m^Hwa head- way in England. A.* the reoent medloal ex- aminations of the Univeraiiy of London ten of the nineteen " paaaea for honours " ware taken by women. In anatomy women took three of the aizhononra. In phyaiology thay aeooced four ont ot riz. In materia madioa only did tbeyUl behind, and avanf there thay got tbraa out of tha. aavn hmonra. TUa ia a raanlt wUdinay waU ghawaaon for ooi|»atnlation to tiia advooataa irf tha wonua'a movenuiit. It Is at laat bagfiming to ba adadtlad tiia* woman eaa aggagain Gatuht Him Flirting. They had just corns ont of a dime muaenm â€" a tall lank' won^an wi^ knife-blade Upa aril an ^Bvt "gritite'*%dilgteaon tdia Uttla old man with Mr waa ronnd-faoed, blne-OTad, and meek of mannar. Qialdly had they reached ^ha navwnaiii wImb ma eaaanoa A vinegar hiwstt ont i ' I seen ya, Abe'loos Kittaon." " Seen me what, Nuqy V •«0h, rdaskwhati I teU ya I aaaa ya with my own Uvin' eyea I" " Seen me what ' " Seen yon florritin' with that tattoad woman. Oh, I did 1" 'OoodL3rd,NanoyI" "Oh, I aeenyoa |dva har them peannta. I Been ye I" " Why Nanoe, Iâ€" " "And I aeen ye florritin' with the fat woman. I seen ye give her the apple. Ah. Kittson." • " Why, Nanoe, I merelyâ€"" " I had 'my eye On ye. I {.seen ye that albino gal a bite of your bolony 1 ger, Ab. Kittson an' I seen ye try to make up to that bearded woman â€" " Good lana ofâ€" " " Shot up, Ab. Kittson, or III go home I A florritin with sich 1 Oh, I seen yoo, yoa mizzkble bigflirrot you i"â€" [D jtroit Free Press. Couldn't Endure It. " Irene, hear me one moment longer." The speaker was a young man wiUi a lAldly appealing look and inchoate mustache. " Irene," he continued, "if aU tha wealth of devotion that moved Leander to swim tha Hellespont, that burned m the breast of Abelard, inspired the muse of Robert Bums to its loftiest flight, sent the blood pulsing through the marble form of Galatea at the bidding of Pygmalion and carroled forth in the immortal songs to Tom Moore â€" if the aggregate aflection of SoloDdon for his thou- sand wives were concentrated upon one be- loved object, the whole would feebly repres- ent the emotion with which you have in^ir- ed me. Since I have known you, Irene, life haa had but one purpose, one aim. Heaven itself would be â€" " " Absalom," interrupted the fair girl, re- §arding the impassioned youth with con- ioting emotions elcqnently depicted on her speaking faoe, " I wish you wouldn't pitro- nfz3 a Centre Street barier. I can't endure the odor of cheap bay mm." Was Far Abone the Moon. One fine moonlight night a Kilmanbook farmer setting homeward from Bonhill, where he had sat too long and drunk too deep, had reached the burn near his house. Attempting to cross it by the stepping-stonea â€" to effect which in safety required uylight or a steadier head than John's was on that night â€" he missed one stone, and came down splash into the bum. Unable to raise him- f elf beyond his hands and Itnees, he looked down into the clear water, in wbich the moon was reflected, while the water stream- ed from his hair. At last he began to about to his wife, " Marget Marget I" The good womam hearing his cry, ran out, exclaiming, â€" " Oh, John, my John 1 Is that yon Whaur are -/e, John ' " Whaur am I " he rejoined " 1 dinna ken, but I see I'm farabuon the .une." It was the same man of whom it is toid, that on a moonlight night on his way home, overcome by cnrink, he had fallen or lain down to rest by the road- side, and had fallen asleep with his feet in a running stream. Awaking after a whUe, with the impression that he had reached home, and was in bed, he shouted â€" "Marget, bring anither pair o' blankets to pit on ma feet, and blaw out that cawneL" His Marrigge Wasn't a Failure. " Yell Moses, now dot yon vas married, can you not explain to me vedder or not mar- riage vos a failure " " I should snicker all offer mein face, Isaac, dot I could Do you see dot suit of clothes dot I baf on Veil, I haf tirteen more better-as dot, nnd dey aU come mit mein vife. Dey vos left by her first husband, und dey fits me like hair on your head. No, sir dot marriage vas a picnic uf yoa faU in mit de vidow of a dude."â€" [Peok'a Sun. She Got a Seat. She was a Uttle cross eyed woman, and she had stood op in a street car and clung to a strap tiU she waa tired. Suddenly aha apoke " Thank yoo, sir. Since yoo kindly offer me a seat I will take it." Six men looked np. Each one of the six thought she waa staring at himself, and ahe took her ohoioe of the six seats instantly placed on her disposaL Wonderful is the power of the homan eye when it happens be a Uttle aakew. She Gonld Sin^ Lots of Hymns. A Uttle five-year-old girl who Uvea in North-weat Baltimore, aim who ia the pride of a joUy papa and a devoted msimma, waa sent to a Kindergarten the other day. It was her first exj^rienoe at acfaool, bat her oompoaore waa remarkable ander tiie oiroom* atanoea. Tha teacher asked her what she bad been tangfat at home, and she replied "loanafaig." " What oan yoo sing " inquired the teacher. " Oh, lota I My mamma and papa make me sfaig lots of hymna." " Then let aa hear one," aaid the teaoher. The five-year-old didn't hesitate a minute, bat began aa f oUowa " If a body meet a body Tramping throogh the anew, There are no fliea on GaUogher Beoauae he let them go." The teaobar waa dnmbfoonded. On in- qtdry it waa found that, while the iw^mmft tiiedhard totaaohharof^ringaodi melo- diaa aa " Benlah Land," tha walked pwa'a Inabmolion proved mora eflEsotiva. â€" [Balti- meraHanld. -^ â-  .., A Undid OonfiBMion. " Wail, famar, how are tha eropa t" "Yacygood. ** Ton dont Uok aboBt anytUng tiwB T" "No." "Than what ara yoa loekhg ao blm Ao«it?" ^„MaaIdoB^ I opii ooBnlahi ef*" oiMftUagthal Jl iil .â- â€¢ f^^'-^f'M^-^^^mm :?^i^:^^il£--fii^fc«:ii iife â- â- â- -j|jji;:t4i.' J