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TTSaSBBOBSaESS mUMM-^ m . 1% JUST IN FUN Understood Wife: "Well, dear. I'll meet you at the Biltmore at twelve for lunch." Husband: "All right, but please don't be any later than one." Truthful A coal mercliant advertised for • boy. and in due course a number applied for the job. "Do you like work?" he asked one of them. "No, sir," was the prompt «n- â- wer. "Then you can have the job," â- aid the coal merchant. "You are the first boy I've seen who has told Ihe truth." In Technicolor The film producer visited his oculist and complained of seeing •pots before his eyes. "Well, smiled (lie oculist, "there's nothing serious a!)Out that. We'll have you fixed up in no time. tVhy. thousands of people see spots aeCnro their eyes." The producer smiled. "Yes, I know that," he replied. *but mine are in technicolor." Wise Words "If you make out your income Sax return wrong, you are in the lands of the law," says a contcm- jorary. "^nd if you make it out nRhl, you are in the hands of the .'eceiver" The "J" as "H" A wom.m travelling hy train wa« al'-i'iK wiih a man in tlie next seav. fn Irsrril.iuK her lioliuay, slie said that «he had visited San Jose. "You pronounce that wronp," said the inaii. "It's San llosay. In raIiforn:a yo;i pronoui'^ce all the )'>: .-^ h's. When w" • , ou v.ctvf" The woinai' tho-.iti''t for a me- oifiit. thru .ill sw<; reel. In Hune «nd Hnlv." Off The Wire The younp reporter thought that the old man in the potato-field 'oo':cd tlif hi'-t word in rusticity. "(^ood morning" lie said. "Love- •y .lay." "Ay." answered the oldest in- habitant. IcaniuK on his hoe. "But jhrre's rain coiniiijf." "How do you know that:" the reporter asked. "Red sTiv at morn- hiR -• shepherd's warning, eh? Or perhaps you've means of your own?" nnnnn nothing 'bout that," was the reply. "f?ut it was on the wire- less Issf night. 'i!ul in all the papers this niorniuK ' Her Choice Hrotlu-r Tom: "Ve«, T like him wll enouKh Polly, but how did you ever happen to marry a man I head shorter than you are?" His ^farried .Sister: "I had to rhnose. Tom. between a little man with a big salary and a big man with a little salary." Different He asked the la<ly for her hand; She yielded to his wishes; But now that they are wed she sets His hand to washing dislies! Simple Master of House: "Why did you lell your mistress what time I came home last night alter I had told you to he c|uiet about it-" Maid: "I didn't sir. She asked me what time if was, and I told her I was too busy getting breakfast to noti'-r." 8 Killed, 100 Hurt Via ;...:.t' anil o\iilnnicd ctr* liitcr tile Siiuthi'in I'.iiillc trucks n-iir B '.ci.sfl. Id, Ciiltf, where th«; y-.n t'lriiii'lsco-to-l.os Angc- li."^ '/V.I Jiiniu .1 Hie nii!«, Killing • li'lit ijiisiins iind liijiiniig 100. ALASKAN MANEUVER Throwing cold water on the old Hindu rope trick, a couple of Task Force Frigid soldiers prove you can do it without being a fakir â€" if you've got Alaska's 56-below-zero temperature. First, Sgt. Carl Muldoon of Geneva, N.Y. gave the rope a few applications of water and let frigid nature take its course. Half an hour later, Muldoon tootled on an icicle flute while Pfc. Boxy Herd, Mineola, N.Y., registered amazement. Know Your Hockey Stars By ED. FITKIN Norman (Bud) Poile, Centre Bigger and iicavier and consider- ably stronger than when he broke into pro hockty as an 18-year-old junior ace in 1942-43, B ud Poile is expect- ed to be a standout in a n for the Leafs tliis season, Six feet tall and pa eking be- tween ]85 and 190 pounds in playing condi- tion, Foile is quite a hunk of hockey player. He's a right-hand shot â€" and what a .shot! Pucks don't fly any faster than the way Poile propels 'em and that deadly drive and his play- making ability have earned him the nick-name of "Point-a-game" Poile. Bud,, prior to this season, has played 74 N.H.L. games and has 64 points to his cerdit. * + 4> In 1942-4.3, his only full season as a Leaf, Bud scored 16 goals and had 19 assists for 1)5 points in 48 games. In playoff competition the same season, he bagged 2 goals and 4 assists for 6 points in 6 games. During tlie 1943-44 season, on leave while transferring from the Royal Canadian Air Force to the Canadian Army, Poile played H games with the Leafs. He scor- ed four goals in his first start and in tlie 1 1 games collected six goals and eight assist.^ 'or 14 points. Last winter, back from overseas service, Poile played nine games for the Leafs and clicked for. nine points â€" one goal and eight assists. * * » Like (laye .Stewart and Gus Bodnar, Poile is a product of the Thunder Bay hockey incubator, lie was born at Fort William, Feb. lO, 1(121, and began his climb to hock- ey's big time via the hantaiii-niidg- et-juvpiiilc route ii| bis home town. * • * Scout George (Squih) Walker, who nabbed liim for the Leafs, says that liud was "a super star" as a junior. He and Bothiar were team mates with the Fort Wil- liam Hurricniie-Kangers for two years and after Bodnar won the scoring ( bampionship of the Thun- der Bay League. "Sfiuib'' promis- oi] Poile a trip to Toronto to see the Leafs in the .Stanley Cup play- Swiss Boom Switzerland is an island of pros- perity in the midst of Fiirope. Fig- ures just received show that indus- try is bumming, everyone is at work, the cost of living is stable, and prices have fallen a bit. The tourist trade reflects thl.s situation, as foreigners have been flocking back to Switzerland in greater inimher^ than ever since 11)34, to enjoy the good things of life to he l'oi;nd tbfre a« nowhere else in l''urope. â€"Ottawa Citizen offs if lie could win tlie scoring title tlie second year. Bud did and got his trip. The next season he was playing for â€" not just watc'n- ing â€" tlie Leafs. * * * Poile joined the Canadian Ac- tive Ar;ny in April, 1943, transfer- red to the R.C.A.F. and then re- turned to the Army. He went over- seas in July, 1944, and served with Sigals Corps in Italy, France and Germany. He was in Oldenburg in Northern Germany on VE Day. Prior to returning to Canada last March, Poile was picked for an All-Star Army Headquarters team that toured France and Czecho- slovakia. He spent his 22iid birth- day last Feb. 10 in "Gay Paree." Bud was married in 1943 shortly before going overseas. Britain Slates Humble Folk For High Posts Colunins are being written about the fact that the son of a butcher is being slated for the governor- generalship of Australia, says the Ottawa Journal. Why? Surely it has ceased to be news that sons of butchers and bakers and other humble folk have won by divine right of intellect to the highest posts of power! .Xnd not merely in new countries like .'\ustralia, the United States and Canada. In England, where they are supposed to have a caste system, democracy in government but not in society, any number of men, sons of poor homes, have risen to the summits â€" lock over the records of Mr. .\tt- tee's ministers! More, turn to the supposedly blue-blooded Conserva- tive party and note tliat the de- scendant of a â-  Yorkshire bare- knuckle fighter and runner rose to be Lord Chancellor â€" F. E. Smith, later Lord Birkenhead. It is an inverted snobbery which assumes it is wonderful news \;:ien a poor boy rises to the height to which his intellect entitles him. Sly Dog "John, I hope 1 didn't see you smiling at that girl.'' "I hope you didn't, my dear." FLYING TO LONDON Making his first trip to London since he was appointed United Kingdom High Commissioner to Canada last year, Sir Alexander Clmterbuck, K.C.M.G., M.C., is shown checking in at the T.C.A. passenger office at Montreal before departure of the big Trans- Canada Air Lines transAtlantic plane for London. Sir Alexander plans to remain in London for two weeks, during which time he will see Lord Addison, Secretary of State, Dominions Office, to discuss routine matters and keep in touch with the latest develop- rtients. VOICE OF THE PRESS Or Bigger The folly of betting on horse races is generally admitted, but gambling on the human race con- tinues â€" wliich seems to involve a similar risk. â€" Kingston Whig-Standard. A Billion It's not likely that you'll ever get the chance, but just tlic same it vyould require 19 centuries to spend $1,000,000,000 at the rate of $1 a minute. â€"Stratford Beacon-Herald. Meanest Mishap The season's most embarrassing mishap happened to two New York thieves who stole a truck, and then got the horn stuck just as they were driving away. ; '.-r^Edmoiiton Journal, Partntal Surprise When you looked forward to the time when your offspring would be big enough to do things for them- selves, you did not realize what they would do. â€" Brandon Sun. Know Not Unity Pandit Kehru claims all the free- doms for the people of India, and few will deny his right to do so. But a sovereign people need unity as well as freedom and of the first principles of unity the Indians seem to have not the foggiest notion. â€" \'ancouver Province. Current Affairs An educational experiment ap- plied to Britain's fighting Services during the war. which proved high- ly popular and succcs.sful has re- sulted in an important new devel- opment ill methods of education in Britain's schools. It is the intro- duction of current affairs as a reg- ular subject into the educational syllabus. This change is a direct outcome of topical discussions and informed guidance which were ar- ranged by the W ar Cabinet to en- sure that every fighting man should have adequate opportunity to ac- quire a basic knowledge of world affairs. "Cairrtnt /Xffairs" is now a well fstaldisbed item on all school schedules. It's Still Work Mrs. Blank â€" Do you want eiB- ployment?" Tramp â€" "Lady, you mean well, but you can't make work sound any better by using a big word for it." Definition Apartment: A place where you start to turn off the radio and find you've been listening to the neigh- bors. â€" Peninsula Light. Fuel First A chemist announces that 87 dif- ferent products can be made from coal. People who struggled with some of the war-time coal will wonder why the scientists didn't concentrate on making a decent fuel of it and forget about the other things. â€"Kingston Whig-Standard. War Bride, Babies Given Big Welcome The recent publicity given to that small group of English war brides who reported their unhappy experiences in the United States it no doubt overshadowed by the thousands of brides who received a royal welcome. The following story is authenticated by the writer, who participated in collect- ing the money mentioned, says H. B. E.. in the Christian Science Monitor. â- :. .» * G.l.'s of the 82ud Airborne Di- vision, returning home on the Queen Mary, were particularly charmed with three young travel- ing companions â€" rosy little triplets, aged perhaps eighteen months, on their way to .•\nierica with their mother, ft soon became known that their father was an ex-G.L, now discharged and waiting in the .'States for his English wife and babies, and ininieiliately something was in the air. The Queen Mary steamed into New Vork harbor, the > oung lather was on the dock, to be greeted, not only by his family, but with a check for several thousand dollars â€" a welcome-home gift to the babies from the thousands of Americans on board. CLEARANCE SHEET-STEEL LINERS • For Truck Flooring • Feed Bins • Barn Sidings, Etc. • 36' width, varying lengths riioue nr Write HYDRAULIC METALS LTD. 'I'KKON I'o 1881 Dundas St. â€" LO. 2133 A-Bomb Coillrol The protection of the world at;ulnst an atomic holocaut will b* achieved not hy finespun djpjoina- tic lorniulas or juggling of agen- cies, but hy the willingness and de- termination of all nations to abide by the atomic law. That means the renunciation of all legal loopholes for evasion. Until agreement or that point has been reached, and until an effective international sys- tem it in operation, there is no reason for the United States either to abandon or to share its most po- tent weapon." â€" New York Times. CMITIS YOU CAN'T BEAT BUCKLEY'S MIXTURE KOUMS DEAITIFCLLT FLRXISHED ^J.SQ up HOTEL METROPOLE XtAGAR.4 FALLS Ol'P. â€" CN.R. STATION You can't feet your best if your kidneys atea'C working normally^ Gin Pills help give relief from Backache, Rheumatic Pain and other symptoms of sluggish kid- neyj. Your druggist sells Gin Pills on _ a satisfaction-or-money-bsck basis. G«« a package todayâ€" wj» pnx<t% thtir merit. 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So. â-¡ Rttultr er T lili:ix>irit SIm NA vn: â- â€¢ite QiiiKiK 11' hi: mat si iiunri'TK M*T<H r<)\r,i! I oi.im. oHiiKiiN viiiri'i' MiiniN :» mil IIS. ik m piv in/iiuvs rKiiMini"!) Canadian Orders Sliipped l^xprcfS Collect." POPâ€" Egg-zackly Ou« Policy MiJS'' »e MUST By J. MILLAR WATT rc? \Cl NOT f.'\jp^F-r> 7» ">, -. ^>^^ }'0r AM ST H^ul 1 ^;ii; 9 I f t f ' II OF*. AAlS^eti I <Q^ m^ «