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> I . t. England to Have Huge Rail, Bus and 'Plane Merger Yachting Spectacle London, EIIR. Within 18 mouths there will be no more railway stations In Kngland. The heads of the leading four railway services are trying to find a now name for the present de- pots. Some have suggested "travel," others "transport stations." Nothing definite has been decided upon as yet. This change Is due to the fact that the "Big Four" have decided to ra- tionalize their services and to cut out unnect'SMiry wastage and competition. Within less than a year these railway companies will control all the road services. Already they control 80 per cent, of Hie motor transport and 75 ' I>er rent, of tin- coastal shipping. . I Kffnrts aro now being made to draw the Imperial Air Service into this huge transport scheme. When this Is done, a traveller will be able to purchase a ticket which wil take him to ( bin des- tination by rail, motorbus, or aero- plane from "anywhere" to "anywhere" In the United Kingdom. Where road or air transport is quicker than rail, travelers will transfer to motor coaches or aeroplanes, and vice versa. One of the results of this rational!- /aiion will be that this country will have the best transport .service In the world, and the present railway depots will be used as travel centres for all pulilio transports. Atlantic is Spanned Many Times By Planes 1 iiti Chant--. K. Kingsford- Smith and his companions, flying mm *:>]> across the North Atlantic from I t to Harbor Grace, N.F., ac- complished a feat that had been per- formed only once before and attempts at which had taken i u ]| O f eight llres. Morn than a " of planes had pro- coded Kiii.:sford-Snillli in Atlantic '' . some of them having Crossed In 111 ipposilo direction over approximately the route chosen by him. and other- farther to Jho north or to the south. Among the latter were si -vi--r:il important flights across the South Atlantic. Successful trans-Atlantic flight* In ! -\ i'-r than air craft have included the following: 1919 May :tl M'l rhing boat crossed from Trepa-. .y li.iy to Li-hoii with' t-l'>p at Azort'i. ) June M -Ale ick and lln>w:i made firs: non-stop flight, riving from New- 1 found land to Ireland. 'Best Brain' Contest Excludes Women Bernard Shaw Found to Possess Best Sir Oliver Lodge Second 1922 April 1< - Fir-,t Soii'h Atlantic ci'iss- Iim. by Cabral and ('on'liino, from Lisbon to rtio do Janeiro. 1924 Aitny livers crossed from Europe to Labrador vii iitvenland in fligUt around world. 1927 l-'eb.-ll.l! -V V 10 Julie 1G Cllloliel the Marchesl <le I'im-do made a round trip. Knrope i" Suiiih Amerii-a and) T'i.'i-'l Stall's via Azores to Europe. I May I'M. L'l Colonel Lindbergh flew from New York to PaiU. June 4. 4 - Clarence 1). Chamberlln flew to Germany with Charles A. I.evine. I June 2JI, :!0 Hear Admiral llyrcl made hi-, crossing to France. August l"i Hrock and Scblee (lew from Xewfonnilland to London during Newfoundland Toklo (light. October 10 to ;N Cosies and Le- , brix (lew from Paris to Iluenos Ayres . and ronMmiod to the fnit-'d States. 1928 April 1L'. 1" l-'ir-l non-stop went- waid Ilighi, the llr.'iiifii (lew from Ire- land to (Jreenly Island. June 17 Miss Amelia Karhart cross- oil to England in the Friendship. July 3. 4 First nun-slop flight from . Kmopo. to SouMi America. Fei'rarin and l.-l rl', h 1929 M.it-c'i LM, 2:,. I'll The Jo, us d"l Gran 1'oiler llfw non -tup from Spain | In llrazil. June IX Yillow Hlnl Hew from Old' Orchard Heach to Comlllas. Spain. July S. 9- Williams and Yancey Hew from Maine In Spain. 1930 JIIIIH 2S. -I. 2."i Captain Klngsford- Smith and companions flow from Iro- 1 laml to liarbnr Ciraco. N.F. London CoorK* Hemard Shaw, ac- cordiiiK to readers of the Spectator, llm well known weekly review, pos- the best brains of any man in i lie country. Tht Spectator is a jour- nal circnlatiiiK amoni; the more thoimhfiil class of people who.io opin- ions in regard to mental ability are worth i on-idt'i iim. The result of a recent vole is inter- esting in many ways. Here ar the leading men in their "order of merit": Ilernard Shaw, I'M; Sir Oliver Loda;o. l^.'i; Lord Hirkoiihead, I ill 1 ; Winston Wells. S'J; Lord .Mehhetl, :'; Lloyd Ooii;e, 5H; Philip Snowden. -IS; Sir John Simon, )".. The present I'rinu* Miiii-ier (iocs not receive a vole and Mr. Haldwin -is but i:>. Tin? Archbi-hop or Can- terbury, Dr. La iii;, finds no place but llm Aichbishop of York (Dr. Templet, with III 1 vutiM, follows closHly upon Mi- h'e|s of Lord Heading, who obtain- of :;.".. Sir .lames llarrlii is "placed" by I.", voter., and follows (!. K. Che-ii-r- lon'.i 17. Nn woman was included on ih,. list. Library Has Sound - Proof Music Room Many unusual services are offered by public libraries, but one of the most interest ini! recently noticed is' that performed by a branch library | of New York. It contains a sound- proof room equipped with a tine phono- srapli where people may so by ap- pointment to hear their favorite music. Kifti en hundred records are on (lie, most of thorn symphonies. operatic numbers and other standard works. If the cry rai-ed by educationalists that taste in musir is beiiiR lament- ably lowered by Iho Influence of the radio is to bo believed, a project such as this would appear i nlikoly to pros- per. Hut the contrary Is true. The music room Is patronized every mln- ulo of the nine hours a day It Is open. Several hundred people apply i every month and appointment* are] made weeks in advance. Resides j music lovers who RO to hear their! favorite pieces, musicians, concert' soloists and members of orchestras i omo 10 study different works as they aro Interpreted by various artists. Trustees of public libraries or phil- anthropic citizens might well con-; template following tho example ofi this enterprising Now York library., A "library" of recorded music and the opportunity to "rond" It may havo' cultural benefits approaching thoso 1 afforded by collections of tho printed word. King Opens Althing on Spot Where First One Met in $30 It was a thrilling spectacle for yachtsmen when his majesty's yacht ( Britannia (ripht) raced Sir Thomas Lipton's chalb-ns.-r for tho America Cup, Shamrock V > on the Solent, recently. Britain Accepts ] Old Swiss Town Will Equality Status Be World Bank Seat Simple Rites Mark Opening of World's Oldest Parliament I '1 housancls Attend Ceremony Thingvcdlir, lea. Christian, King of ( clashing river that cascades Itself Iceland, opened (he 1!30 session of the; through Almannagja rift. They plod-' Icelandic Althing June 2 at tha very ! ded along the winding road over the spot wliero 1000 years ago this oldest ; same route taken by the first lagiB- parliaiiiciiit in the world first was con- lators of the ancient Icelandic Repub- lic to the great Rock of Laws In the huge center of the historic plain. Thera rode iit (he middlo of the plain of ' they grouped themselves In the man- VOMQlI. i King Chri.tian stood upon a Thingvalla where grim Goatbeard, the lav. niivr, in ancient days, recited from nor of the ancient Vikings under the banner? of their respective localities. mrmory the em in; coda of Icelandic. The Icelandic Parliament, or A!- law. Tiu ceremonies were I thing, is now held In Reykjavik, but as of formerly it was held at Thingvellir or old, so .simple as (o obtain an almost! the Plain of Asssmbiy. religions aspect. The broad plain was doited with many thoiuamh of persons who had comu from far corners of the earth. Crowd* begun arriving from Reyk- javik, ;;5 miles away over twisting mountain roads, early in the morning. Froitt a pulpit hung iii:-,!i on the side of a cliff like an eagle's nest, Hishop Jon lielgason conducted divine ser- vice, after which the Icelanders formed into a long procession and crossed a Th Althing Is reckoned to have been established in 930. A universal codu of law for the Icelandic Republic was then accepted. At the tirao the northern peoples did not write down their laws, but memorized them and had them rehearsed In public at their "things" or "assemblies. Tha exact wording of the first code of laws of the Icelandic Republic is not known, for it was not until 1117 that Icelandic laws began to he recorded in writing. Lloyd George Says Dominions Won Independence in Great War London -The determining faciur In Hie Ureat War was the HritMi Km- pile, said Mr. Lloyd d-orge recently In an address to members of (lie Im- perial Press Conference. It was a very near thing as It was: nmc.li nearer than I care to think when 1 rolled upon it. he added. By R. ORKHARD Scotsman and Jew World Mirth-Makers American Wit is Smooth German Ponderous and Chinese Polite "A Scot opened his purse and a moth flew out!" That is a classic one line laugh, that lias tickled tho ribs of the world. Ftr-t i published in an F.nglish newspaper, it I'.asU- has been chosen as the sou w:H speeding out of this country by the Hank for International Settle- wire, wireless and cable to Europe, The effect of the war upon the con- Haslo. is an independent State stitution of the Umpire had bt-en re- volutionary, and the quality and in- dependence of the young nations of i he Kinplro v. or,-- ,,o,v accomplished facts, accepted unreservedly by Great Hritain, and acknowledged by the world. Hul the problem of the future still remained. "The ncx: slop af.er equality Is ef- fective unity. Make unity as offec- live as you made equality; if you don't 'In- Kmpire will not leinain," advised 'lie speaker. inent-i as a town favorably situated In the heart of the Kuropean Continent, equally exposed to Central and West- ern European civilization and under the protect ion of Swiss neutrality. Even before Hasle became a member of the Swiss "Bund" about SOD years ago, the town was the hanker of the Swiss Confederation. in America, and the Kast, almost before Uritain had begun to smile. Within a week it had appeared in twenty dif- ferent languages in every corner of the earth. While, black, brown, red, and yellow faces had opened from the centre because of it. It comprised the chuckling and then told me frigidly that he had made a mistake he had once thought ue a gentleman. Chinese of all classes regard home and family ties as sacred. Anything that disparages a mother or father by marriage is sacrilege. Much the same applies to Indians. When an Indian calls you his father and his mother, he is paying you the highest compli- ment. Yet he is invariably guilty of an unconscious joke whenever he wishes to he unusually polite. A stock phrase for such occasion! is: "Sahib, you are my father and my mother, and I am the son of a pig!" It never strikes him as funny! Even before Prohibition gave a glut of drinking jokes to the world, the sub- ject of alcohol was a universal smile- winner. Spain was laughing the other day at the story of a man whose ocul- ist had told him that his weak sight the Swiss Confederation and ha-* a government and a Constitution of its own. Tile comparison with other in-.vns of similar si/.e Is, therefore not quite an adequate comparison. " According '> the C"iism of 1920, 73 per cent, of the residents were Swiss citizens, and of tho total of ^7 p.-r cent, of foreigners, l'0 per cent, were Germany 3 per cent, French and not quite 2 per cent. Italians. perfect Esperanto lunch a joke the I was . due ,^ o ., to nllu ' h (ll '. iuk ; ,''. n tn who!.,- world understands. The reasons were its brevity and its simple language. It contained no dou- ble meanings or play upon words. A Scot is a Scot, a purse Is a purse, and a ninth a moth, in miy language. The joke is as muni in Sanskrit or Bantu as in J-.''i -iisli. speaking people make foreigners smile. You have heard that yarn, no R-100 to Start Late in July London. - Tho Air Minister, Lord Thompson, told th imperial Press Conference recently that the airship K-IOO would leave for Montreal on Its maiden trans-Atlantic journey during the last few days of July. Lord Thompson added that IIH would bu making a journey In tho other new British dirigible.. K 101, to India, In September. French Births Exceeds Deaths During Quarter; I'arls The first three months of' tins ;. .MI Vive shown that France jr-Miii lias more births than deaths. Tho mortality report made public. ere lints 10,797 more births than, d'-i'ln III the first three months of las! ye.ir flea; In e\i ei'dod births by' 7,000. Tin- innpi.nv'i showing was attribut- ed to a lower death rate, the reduc- tion being nearly one-third, while biiths lomainoii tliB same. For Iho IMI -.. year of 19-'9 there were 1:'. I nio!e doai!n Iliriti births. Germany Limits Muskrats Menace to Public Works Jlerlln The Commissioner of For- ests, Ludwig Sc-vhustor. Ins put his foot down on wholesale mnskrat breeding on the ground that the rod- ents would undermine railroad and river embankments and impair the safety nf dams, waterworks and road- ways. Commissioner Schuster pointed out that nn.OOO muskrats wore killed an- nually In normany to arrest the dam- age they cause. To raise them com- mercially, ho said, would bo to Invite (treat trouble. Flier To Carry Own Automobile New York. - Capt. It. 1). Archibald, British flier, plans to carry an automo- bile on his tlights honiafler. mainly for picnics when ho lands somewhere. lie has roine from Kugland with the car, a tiny thing, weighing half a tun and three foot high. A plane he Is having built has parking space. X (Incredulously i : "Did you say ho was a prosperous farmer?" Y: "Yes, IIH sold his acres to ihe golf club!" doubt, of the Englishman, the Scot, Basle baa never had a pronounced j"" 1 ">e Jew who went into a public- International character like 'other Swiss towns, especially Geneva, since the League nf Nations. Though pro- gressive in a general way. tha prog- ress Is, compared with towns of the United States slow, and we find its social lifo traditions. still The rich In deep-rooted the Revue des Deux Mondes In 1863 is still largely the Basle of to-day. "The cle.inliiic-is which one remarks seems to he the result of old habits; It has passed into tho character of tho pnopli 1 . Solely occupied with their affairs where they manifest a persist- out and calculated patience, they do not let business transgress the bor- ders of thoir homes. No doubt the establishment of the Bank for International Settlements will mean many changes for this old town on the Hhlno. English Girl Typists Fail London Five out of every six girls i failed at the latest examinations for typista hold by the civil service com- mission. All aspirants were between the aaius of eighteen and twenty-eight- only 150 out of !t-0 passed the and lost. contrary," the man replied, "when I drink I see double!" And the adven- tures of the heavy father and timid suitor raise a smile in every land where a man and a maid make love. I pick this one from Rome: She: 'What!! You come to ask my hand armed \ ith a rifle?" lie: "Well, you see, someone told Not all jokes that appeal to Knslish- me yo(lr fa , he ,. wag all | d bear! - The "dear old lady" yarn Is known In every country except in tha Kast, where ai!e is venerated. This is from , Belgium. A young man has taken his house; ^ the Knelishman stood a round elderly aunt to the theatre. He tells her that the next act takes place a year later. Old Lady: "Are j'ou sure our tickets will still be valid?" The Germans and the Swiss never fail to "fall for" a joke against doctors. A Swiss told me this quite recently. A doctor was .showing a woman a fine tiger skin. "Yes," he said, "one of my friends wounded it, but it was I who flu.lsb.ed It off." "Now, now, doctor," cooed the wo- man, "you'll never make me believe that this tiger was one of your pa- tients!" And this floated through the ether the other night from a German, wire- less station: Doctor (after examining u patient): "You are suffering from alcoholic abuse and a weak heart." I'atient: "You'd better give me some- thing for the heart!" American humour includes skits on domestic differences that would offend of drinks, tho Scot stood six foot two, and tlie .lew stood in silent admira- tion? That is tho sort of joke that is only funny In Knglisli. Try to translate it into, say, French or German, and you Basle as pictured In I aro lost - The eore of tlle J ke ' triple meaning of the very "to stand." There is no equivalent word in any othor language. The alleged meanness of the Scot and the Jew's shrewd bargaining are subjects of world-wide appeal. That is because Jews and Scots are more widely distributed over the earth's sur- faee than are any other nationals. Mothers-in-law, too, are good for a laugh iu most countries. A Portuguese paper published the following recent- ly: Judge "You are accused of killing your mother-in-law." Accused "I diet it out of pity, sir." Judge "Out of pity?" Accused "Yes, sir. out of pity for myself!" That might as easily liave been used many people. Thus, a prominent jour- In an Knglish, American, or German ' nal had a sketch recently of journal. But here's a warning. I once told a mother-in-law story to a Chinese, (t all but lost me his friend- Gigantic Olympic Preparations U.S. Slayer Faces Electric Chair Or Inoculation With Disease Ai:> .'.'.M \Voo Dak San ( h i, I i li.' i ho'c i- 1 1" iMiily of deaib in Iho eli i ii i. ( hair or of iedi'in|>lion in the HOI vie of humanity. S'Miienci-d to di'.itb for the mnrdi-r of a coiiiitrvmaii. the chine-,!- w:'s Kh"ii tlii' alternative of submitting to Inoc illation with 1 1 ac-lioina germs that science mav I, MM. Him' about !ho dis- ease that Is the M-ourge of Indian tribes. The plan to offer Woo lifo Imprison- Dient instead of tho chair on this con- dition was presontud by Dr. Polk Hichnrds, I'niiod .States research phy- Ic'iati, at tin' Albin|iieri|iii! Indian School. Dr. Itlc hards promised Alvln White, the slayer's attorney, that every effort would bo in, id" to have Hi-- (loath sentence changed If he Would grant tin- use of tin- Chinese for Mieiiineiit il purposes. Tho tiai-hoin.i gorm long lias boon a scourge among tho Indians. Four years ago, Dr. Illedyo Noguchl, noted Japanese scientist, did coiisiderablo leso.ni-h work bore among Ilia In- dians. Ho believed that ho had iso- lated llm gorm, but lie died In 1(28, a viclim of his own research. No opportunity, however, ever has b-eii granted for experimentation of inoculation upon human beings. Only monkeys and other animals have been inoculated. Medical authorities generally IIIIVH concod"d that an experiment upon a human being is nei'decl to complete re search. If the Chinese will not agree to (tin plan of Dr. Kicharcls. hit must die next in mill in Hie electric chair. Neiilie; U'liho nor \\'im has made a ll'M'l- i"ll Thousands of tons of concrete aro poured Into famous Los Angeles coliseum, where jnost of track and fl<-ld hporis will be hold in 10th Olympic games. a young wife with a revolver in her hand and a little girl looking up at her. The ist me his friend- mother is saying: "Run and get the gravely to my movie camera, dear; mamma's going to shoot at papa again!'!" And au- other of a husband returning home at Christmas-time to find his wife em- bracing another man bore the cap- tion: "By jove, I forgot the mistletoe!" Just as American humour is slick, , German ponderous, and Chinese polite. J so tlie main characteristic of the French has always been an aptitude for the quick retort. Prince Talley- rand, the famous diplomat, limped badly, and one day on entering a room he was met by a woman with a bad squint. "Monsieur de Talleyrand," she ex- claimed, "how you walk!" In a flash came the answer: "As ymi see, madam, all cock-eyed!" Whether your face Is white, black, or yellow, a laugh makes brothers of us all. An Old "Sky-Hawk" Cheyenne, Wyo. Arriving here re- cently from Omaha, Neb., James (Jack) Knight, veteran pilot of Boe- ing Air Transport, Inc., completed his SUOOth hour of flying, representing an air mileage of approximately 800,000 He has never had a major inisUap during his flying caree.r. A WATCHER A poor man watched a thousand years before the gates of Paradise. Then while he snatched one little nap it opened and shut. -Persian. The. only way a population can keep young is to iiave a birth rat above the death rate. W. S. Thomp- son. Scripps Foundation.