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AGRICULTURAL. How to Break a Colt- Suppose that a horse which yon are go- ing to rid ha* never been ridden before how should yon begin ? If he is an intelligent animal, well brought up, he will probably allow you to mount him, provided that you do it very slowly and cautiously; but if he be stupid or timid you oan begin by having him carry a bag of oat*. "I had lat*ly a horee that bad thrown the only man that had ever attempted to ride him," said a writer, "and when I prepared to get on he bowed unmistakable signs of an intention to do the same by me. So I called the oats Into play. "A bag, half full, wa( tied up, and he was allowed to sm*ll of it. When an effort WA* mad* to pat it on th* saddle he showed exceuive fear, but by proceeding gradually, and by soothing and coaxing him, w* were soon able, first, to put it on gently, and *t last to throw it on th* saddl* without dis- turbing him. " At th* next lesson, alter going through tbe same process, the bag was tied to the saddle, and he wa* first walked and after- ward trotted about with it on. 1 then put my foot in the stirrup, immediately with- drawing it, however j he became alarmed. Then I tried it again, and after a few attempt*, finding that he was not hurt, he submitted. "The next step wa* to raise myielf in th* stirrup, and this again alarmed him at first, but gradually he became accustomed to it, and at last I slowly an 1 carefully put th* other l*g over, and in a few minute* more I wa riding about I do not think the whole lesson occupied more than twenty minute*. Of course th* hor** waa h*ld by a groom during th* pr Bom; Neglected Orjpi- Tbere are many crop* which are not generally legardrd a* staple*, which may yet b* properly cultivated in a large way upon the ordinary farm. Some farmers think that nnlea* a crop is of sufficient im- portance to warrant the planting of fifty acres, it will not pay to bother with. For this reason cabbage*, beans.sweet potatoes, and even Irish potatoes for market crop, re left to the market gardener when they might properly be mad* farm crop*. In growing such an are* of any of theae, it will pay to fit up with tl.e special imple- ments needed for their cultivation, and to prepare properlyfor handling and storing the crop. These may all be stored and held not so long a* wheat or corn, it i* true, bat so that one can market them at uch time in the year a* price* are bwt. They will all bear shipment, and all, ex- cepting cabbage, are compact enough to warrant the expense of shipping to a con- ei !erab!e distance in the effort to find the best market. There are other garden crops which may )M made adaptable to the need of the (arm, so there is DO excuse for a man to (tick to any one staple which doe* not pay him, on tlieexcoie that he doe* not know what else to grow. A new thinking machine is the great need ot tome farmers who have gotten into such a deep rut of limited crops that they cannot see any thing bat thetwoor three items which they have been growing all their lives. Such men need to read the papers, particularly th* argicullural papers, ami to itudy the market*, and to get awsy from home once in a while to see what others are doing. No man has ever become a really sucrewful farmer who acknowledgt* himself limifid to th* cultivation of a fsw thing*. Wiuter Otra of Trees- There is no better time than the present to examine groves and group* of trees in order to determine whether they are be- loming overcrowded, and to designate those which should be removed to make room for the rest. The axe is the only remedy for crowding among trees, and when this hero'o treatment is necessary, no considerations of aentiment should be allowed to interfere with it* use. At this season, too, it is easier to find where branches are growing loo thickly on a tree, and where they are rubbing each other, than It is when they re in full foliage, and in th* warm days of midwinter pruning can be done to advantage. When it Is necessary to rem >ve large branches they should be sawed close to the trunk and the edge* out smooth with a Imrp knife. Coal-tar applied to the wound will keep out moisture and fungi, and thus prevent decty. Any kind of ochreous paint will answer almost as good a purpose, and it can b* easily applied with an ordin- ary brush. All sprout* should be cut from the trunk and all tuckers from its ba*e, but the dead twigs in the hesds of tree* cau b* snore easily detected in the summer. Farm NotM. - - Then Is a* much difference In the quality f pork as In the quality of beef. First- claa* pork must lie from a pig and not from an old sow, and the pig should be kept in clean quarters and ftm on wholesome feed. To increase th* dairy product, bran and oil er nitrogenous by-product* of wheat and eat* are always of the greatest value. Use all the coarse food that the farm can pro- duce, in proper proportion with theia, and there will be little doubt about the profit of butter making if you r.avs the right kind of cows for a baoia. Ther* is no lire*, I of oattle which Dea- ths deiirabla quality of prepotency fo'ds. that b* will get hurt if be run* against it By "(.curving this simple precaution many horses that have been teriously injured might have been saved from harm. If yon have the 'homo raised feed, and good facilities for housing, it is a pretty safe matter to buy good y can g cattl* for winter feeding You not only turn your product into such shape that they can b well marketed, but you will probably profl both from the feeding, and from the in creased price that you oan obtain for th finished stock above that which you paid There i* one condition under which it pay* to burn corn for fuel. That is when you are so unfortunate as to have any mouldy corn. It i* not a good food for any sort of stock, having a tendency to disar- range the stomach and digestive organs, and so bring on diseaae. But the gool farmer doe* not have mouldy corn, because he har- vests his crop at the proper time and (tores it safely. Most men who feed hogs know that it is a good plan to bare ashes or charcoal when the animal j can get at them, hut not all know why they practice this. When hogs are being fed largely on corn their digestion is frequently interfered with. The alkali corrects the sourness of the stomach which always accompanies indigestion and '.he hog* know enough to help themselves to th* remedy if they can reach it. Both hay and straw are constipating foods, and th* exclusive use of the** a* winter feed for stock is the cause for much of the poor success many far-ners meet with in keeping animal* through the winter. Corn stalk* ar* laxative, and so aie th< nubbin* ol unhusknd corn usually found among them. For home feeding, especially for row*, it may no*, pay to husk out every eai that oan be found. A fsw ears of corn with the stalk make an excellent addition to the winter feed for milk and butter pro- duction. It give* th* desirable yello color to butter which U not obtainable from th* uie of a hay, straw and brane ration. Money may be irade by winter feeding but it may be lost quite a* easily and quick' I ly. Ve discove Very often it is lost and the red until too late to remedy only aafe plan in winter feeding if t mute fully than ndrax loea not it. The to weigh and measure everything consumed, keeping a strict account of it with the animal which consume* it. This is th* only method by which the profit or loss can b* determined with accuracy, and if on* doe* not know what he i* doing the chance* an all against a profit and in favor of a lois. Do not be fraid to look fact* in th* face, and do it in time, so that you may change your methods if they prove to be wrong. In the best city market* there i* a erow- ing demand for light pork, and heavy weight* ar* bar Hy considered, except at a considerable decline in price. Tbe con- sumers want piir pork. Small hams and shoulders and Under chops sell quickly at the top. A pig of 100 pounds, or even a little lea*, well rounded, but not too fat, i* th* proper thing, and it will sell at a* much a* two cent* above the quotation* for heavy hog*. UnlM* it costs a good deal more to grow these than to produce the 3(10 pound animals, it would appear that it is for the grower's interest to meet this demand: and if the pig can be produced a* cheaply, pound for pound, a* the bog, then the road to profit would seem to he a wide one. With *uch a demand coining up, we oan soon feed off even the June pig tor market, at aay five months, which will be vastly better than keeping him over a whole winter. We see a good deal aaid about keeping hogs, sheep.poultry and other farm (lock to consume what' would otherwise be waste products, and so ad-l to th* profit of th* farm. Why are bee* not named in this list more frequently ? Surely there is no product which would be more wholly waited, were it not for them, than that wMch they gather from the flowers and fruit. The farmer need not bea bee-keeper on a large scale, any more than he need keep an extensive flock of poultry, but he should have some of each. Fifty colonies are perhaps enough for any one who doe* not wish 'a make a specialty of the busi- ness. Begin small, and work up if you find it suits you. A farmer of our acquaintance began with two colonies 10 year* ago to teet the matter. He lays that they never hav* tailed to pay expenses, including th* value of hi* time and labor, any *iii<le year. He sells both bees and honey, aid so his mlnnies vary from 'J."> to ."HI. He aay that with himself there is lees expense and worry iu producing tlO() worth of honey than in getting tne asm* amount from either hogs or poultry, aud thathe finds the chance* of an unprofitable year much fewer. Honey is in steady demand in all markets, and a really fine article doee not have to go bngiflng for a purchaser. There i* a great difference in the quality, and this does not depend wholly on th* food, as some people imagine. The strain of bee* has omsthing to do with it, and the man who handles the been and the product ha* a* much more Honey must be in an attract- ive ihape whsn pat on the market if it is lo Mil well. ^ Fortunate, Aooidsntv An alchemist, while seeking to discover a mixture of earths that would make the most durabls crucible, on* day found ihnt ha had made porcelain. The power of lentes, a* applied to the telescope, was discovered by a watchmak- er'* apprentice. While holding spectacle- glasses between his thumb and linger he was sUrled at the suddenly enlarged appearance of a neighbouring church spire. The art of etching upon glass was discov- ered by a NuremLuri) glass cutter. By aooldent.a few drupe of aqua-fortis fell upon l>l*re*t!B| BeBstBiaeraees of the ! lera r Ml*. A fragment of an old journal, which was published in the town of York during the early part of the present century wa* ' dis- covered recently by the Hon. John Bever- ley Robinson amnngat a maa* of old letters and document* which, for many years past, had lain undisturbed. It i* only a single page of printed matter, vpon which in* hand of time has written many wrinkles, and its antiquity, rather than the matter which is printed upon it, make* it more in- terming. Chance the blind arbiter of works of genius, has given us many docu- ment* of th* highest value. Ignoranoe and barbarism have no doubt, caused the de- struction of many nuunscripl* which would have made their authors immortal, and many of our ancient classic* have had a narrow escape from total annihilation. Chance has often produced a lost author of antiquity and given another classic to the world. In the prevent instance, however, the discovery has been simply thit of a fragmentary report of certain evonts which took place in York during the beginning of the month of March, IM.'l The document was in a condition which would bird y tear handling. For jeer* the tooth of tim had eaten into the oreaae* which marked it, and when it was unfolded it immediately fell in two. On one side of it there was given a report of a ceremony which took place on the return of the 3rd Ka|imnt of York Militia after the war of IslJ. With that regiment General Brock himself set out on the 6thN>f August for Amherstburg, to atop the in- vasion of the Western peninsula. There he was joined by the Shawnee chief, Teeum- aeh, with whom, and hi* Indian followers. Brock connerted measures for th* capture of Fort i 'etroit. This was soon consummat- ed and 2.500 American troop* were taken prisoners. The report says the members o' the regimeut "were gratefully thanked for their faithful discharge of their duty, aud the young ladies, with a fervour of patriotism, literally above commendation, had prepared a banner, which it wa* their intention to present to the regiment im- mediately upon iho return of the volunteers from that expedition. The sudden recom- mencement of hostilities rendered the late General Brock's presence for a time impos- sible, andsubsequentevenU.lhe recollection of which it is painful to recall, occasioned a delay of their intention. Sir Roger Hal* Slieatfe, having it in hi* power at length to honour th* ceremony with hi* preaenee, thi* day wa* appointed for th* purpose, and at one o'clock the regiment was drawn up in front of the church at open order to receive and salute th* General and hi* sui'e as they paseed. " There follow* a report of the ceremony. A service was read, and a sermon deliver- ed by the Rev. Dr. Strachan, afterwards hiihop of Toronto, and general regret i* expressed at the absence of Col. Chewitt, whose place in command wa* taken by Major Allan, father of the Hon. (i. \V. Allan. The colour* and standard, which were supported by Lieut*. George Ridout and Samnsl Jarvis, were consecrated by Dr. Sirachan. and the formal presentation was made by Mies Powell, daughter of Hon. Mr. Justice Powell, with a short address. Th* major received the colour*, which he consigned to the care of K<isi :n Charles enison and K I ward Thompson, the unior officers of the regiment. Addresses ollowed hy Sir Ro*>er Sheaffe and Major Allan. The report i* signed " A Specta the Hsrefo'ds." Bred for iwj hundred year* for beef animal., they , a,*,,,,.,,,,. ,. W arp.oi aqua lorti. ieii up have the beef type no indelibly impressed , his tp oUo | M . Hi noticed that tbe gl. upon them that they leave the mark upon j^,,,. corroded and sofun.d where the every hea:l where they are introduced. A groat proportion of all complaints of our domestic animals can be traced direct- ly to indigestion. This is caused in many instance* by th* too continuous use of a single article of food. Give a variety a* great as the resource* of your farm will enable you to, and your (took will b* more eaxily kept in health. K.ep an accurate daily record of the per- formunce of each cow. Then use tho tester to tin I out the value of her milk. See whallier she requires more or less than the normal quantity of food to keep up hr milk supply, and then put all th*s* fact* hrr iiml you can determine easily whuihcr the is pruri table or not. When a spirited horse I* first turned loose In a field that Is Inotnsed by a wire r.i-e, he should be taksn up to it and invle t-i > - i that It is dangerous, and had touched it. That was hint enough. He drew figures upon the glsss with var- " the corroding fluid, then out i, applied iy the glai the varnish was removed, the figures appear ed raised upon a dark ground. The shop of a Dublin tobacconist, hy th* name of Lnndyfoot, wa destroyed by Are. While he was gazing dolefully into the mouldering ruins he nolic-m that his poorer neighbours wer gitthtiring the snuff fron> the oanwters. Ho tested the snuff for him- self.and discovered that the lire had laigely improved its pungency and aroma. It was a hint, worth profiting by. He secured an- other shop, built a lot of ovens, subjected the smi.'l to a heating process, gave the brand a particular name, and in a few years beeamo 1 1. ti through an accident which he at fl'st tin -ugh! had completely ruined him. ' Lif-.-s C'al*Bd*jr. M tLLA A1B CKUKWBMB, Thr Twe Mrdllerraara. Whirl p~l Bfll| ant sreaw le nii Veaael*. Th* whirlpools of Scylla an 1 Cliarybdii are situated in the Strait of Messina be- tween Sicily and Italian Apulia, and al- though dangerous to the mariner of the ancient world are not regarded by the Lon- don Cilobe a* very formidable in the present day. The whirlpool of Scylla lie* at th* baie of the cliffa on which stand the vil- lage of Scylla. The circling waters have worn the cliffs into cave*, which in heavy eas smit sounds like the barking of a dog. Charybdi* is near tbe port nt Meesina, nine ea mils* from Scylla, and, according to Signer Spallanzani, i* 500 feet deep. _ TUB ol.li DAIIGU in sailing between them ha* recently been explained by M. Keller, aa enginter, who hows that the current* in the strait depend both on tide and wind. The current* are troni< because the tide is low in the Ionian Sea when it is high in th* Tyrrhenian Sea, and vice versa, and whirlpools m jrs or lees energetic sre formed at varion* point* of tbe itrait. When tbe wind is from the southeast th* waters pour from th* Ionian Sea into toe strait and form whirlpool* north of th* port of Messina and also n*ar Faro, where ship* at anchor are sometimes carried out to ae* and borne by the current on the rock of Calabria, toward th* point of r'e//u, a little farther off than Scylla. It is probable therefore that tbe ancients meant by Charybdis th* casual whirlpools near ths port of Mussina, and by Scylla those at I'omt Pviuo. Between these two point* the current* ar* extremely rapid, troog and variable. Th* danger is really serious for sailing vewels, which were all the ancient* had, and an inexperienced pilot mi^ht iu avoiding Charybdis tind hmiielf in Scylla. Towad b? aa loaber*. When the najal*in of th* Norwegian bark " Wave King sailed for the port nt New York, he expected a* a matter of coarse to meet some iceberg* on the way. H* also expected to engage a tag-boat to low bin into the harbor if he found the weather at Sandy Hook boisterous or the wind too trong agaiuit him to sail in alone , but a* for having a present of a tow in the middle of the Atlantic, aad free of charge, that waa a piece of good fortune of which be never dreamed in hi* most economical mo- ment*. Yet, improbable a* it seemi, that waa th* treat he unexpectedly received. Kverything went very well with th* bark until half through her voyage, wh*n one day the mat* (who wa* an Arctic weather- prophe'l reported that ice-field* and Ice- be rgs were near. H* knew it, he said, becauae of the light loom along th* ocean's rim ; also from the look and cold nee* of the *ea- water. A bright lookout was therefore kept, and rare enough, about noon a great ice risl.l, or floe," became visible in tbe has*, dead ahead. There it lay right in their track, and extended a* far oa each aid* a* thttr beet telescope was abl* to make it out. For several mil?* ou both (idee the bark now sailed back and forth, th* lookout* searching for an opening in the beautiful. i trembling, glistening white fields ; but ' none could be found, although the fair ' blue water lay temptingly beyond, in full light. Presently the captain noticed that the ice-field, under the pressure of the fr**h breeze 1 , wa* advancing toward them, and he gave orders to "'boutship." A* th* vsesel weut about, a large iceberg own n H w BBAIA rotii ira conclude* with a Latin qn>ta- wftl noticed right astern in the light haze, also I tor," and " " ! and, strange to relate, it aUo appeared to Immediately following there is given a be coming toward them. At first tnis caused list of the bill* which had been passed at if th* Legislature of Upper the session Canada and had received the royal assent on Saturday, March 13th, 1K13, some militia irders from Aeneas Shaw. Adjutant-Gen- eral of the Militia of the Upper Canada, and some advertisement* follow these. Although it is in almost the last stages of . dilapidation, Mr. Robinson's tiiacovery i* a valuable and very intere*tms[ one, and one worthy of careful preservation. (rtssliy ef Fatter *av Tkta Hear. Easter Day fall* on Laity l>ey this year for the first time in the history of th* United State*. Th* last time these two da\s fell together was in 1712, and they will not clash again until 1951. Lady l>iy ha* somewhat lojt it* significance and impor- tance of late year*, and it ha* n* v *r been uch a special day in this country as in some othsrs.wher* th* leasing and renting system ars more general. It i* still, how- ever, the first quarter day of the year, aud although for convenience rent* and prem- ium* are generally madj payable on March 31, the law in some state* still recognise* March '.' > as quarter day. Eaater has to fall exceptionally early to come into contact with Lady Day, and the coincidence will cause inconvenience in countries where a legal holiday and a legal pay day will be simultaneous. When oar sweep* by and yon vainly run, How you fiendishly wish for a loaded gun. " They say Brown has taken the lecture platform?" " Shouldn't wonder ; Uke any- thing he oan lay hi* hand* on." Manager" Ah, madam ! yon ling from your heart." Prima Donna " Ye* ; I've ,lways been complimented on my chest tone*." Kthel ".laek Jolly boy i* very impudsit. H* attempted to kiss m* laat night." t'lar- ina "Impudent? I should call him crazy." Wife - " I wonder what betam* of that m, -.d oak* I made yesterday ?" Husband 1 1 I gavs it to a poor boy for a football.' She " Is it t-ue that a lover never eat* nything? "He "Not after h* becomes engaged." She Why not?" H*-" He never has any money to spare." Prosecutor "What reason oan you give for thinking that this lady did not intend to bit her husband when (he threw th* ugar bowl at him?" Wttaaaa "Watt, the did hit him." Pealer -" We cell oar tea for sixty nt* a po'iml and throw in a chroma. " customer- " I* one obliged to take the teat My wife i* just gone ou ohromo* but you see she has tried your tea be- fore.* Buffer "There's on* thing about lev side-walks.' I'- rl-i- " What " llnftVr "If we don't like them we oan sit down oa them without much trouble." the sailors much uneasiness, for they feared to be caught bstwotn it and th*. field of ice. A little careful steering, however, placed them safely to one side of the berg, and the men gathered along the ship's side to watch the monster a* it went majestically by. The captain knew that some strong lower- current wa* pushing againat the under- water portion of this berg, and urging it along against the winds and surface cur- reals. He wondered what would result when the borg and ice-nVM met. Which would gain tbe mastery ? Why, th* heavy berg, ot oonra*. Then a bright i lea flashed through hi* mind, which he instantly began to put in execution hy ordering the steersman to tarn the bark aud run her right in behind th* berg. Goinga* cloae a* he dared to the great ice- m iniitai -. he ordered the crew to lower a boat and take a rope and hitch on to it. Thii they did, making fast to a low pinnacle, or foot-hill. Then sail was shortened to flying jib and spanker, just enough to keep her steady and lake some strain off the rope ; aad lo ! the ship was towing kindly in th* wake of the berg, while all hands awaited development*. They had not long to wait. Steadily and urely the toe mountain bore down on the ioe-fisld. There came a great crash, and a I lit Is shiver of the berg that coul.l be felt on th* towlme. \\ ith bang, and smash, and roar, th* mighty contest went on. But th* berg proceeded s*reoely, leaving a broad awath behind in which tne brk role safsly until clear water WA* once m re reaohe Then, aa quickly as possible, the rope wa* east off, all aail set, and a respectful distance put between the bark and berg. ew They w.rard a*>4 Teteal for M.dU. ale- aad Blecte Then*. Tee. In tli* recent general election* for ben of th* New Zealand House of Repre- sentative*, for th* first Urn* in any Brituh colony every woman over '21 years of agd posseesed equal voting right* to tboee be) by men. Women of the colony, says * Wellington correspondent, developed a re- markable keenneas for politic*. They registered in thousand* ana throughout the whole election campaign displayed a moat laadabl* desire to learn their new duties. Afternoon meeting* for woman ouly, at which the more social side of politic* was dealt with, aad th* new electors instructed bow lo use their vote*, became part cf every candidate's work. Heckling '.her* often wu, and that of th* keeneet description, o much so that some candidates are said to hav* declared they wonld sooner face double tbe number of men than be hauled over the coals as they were by the** gentle elector*. With all the impulsiveness of their MX, th* women became almost more partisan than tbe men, and lucky waa the candidate whom they favored. For him were crowd- ed and enthusiastic meeting*, ovation* when be rose, and often shower* of bou- quets when he sat down, while in many cases the vote of thanks and confidence was moved or seconded by some blushing elector who heard her own voice for the first time in public. Women throng*d_hia committee room*, and canvaved for vote* with a charming persistence which wonld not be denied. The whole battery of women'* arguineult, personal and theoretical, waa brought to ban on th* recalcitrant male elector who wa* suspected of a leaning to th* other side, and, a* has been amid, throughout th* whole of th* campaign the newly enfranchise.) took a deep interest in th* questions at iaaae aad in the result of the It is gratifying to be able to lay that, a* wa* expejted would be the caae, women'* influence wsi wholly for good in the con- duct of one of tbe most keenly contested elections that ha* *v*r been held in New Zealand, and m no ca*e, so far as can be ascertained, wa* a oaadidat* subjected to th* indignities which hav* at other time* disgraced political meetings. Dissent and disapproval were, of course, frequently ex- proceed; but such tangible forma of disap- probation of lha speaker's remarks as rotten gg* wers but very rarely resorted to ; and, considering th* length and bitterness of th* contest, it i* a pleaseater one to look back uoon than any previous one. Th* election day waa a typical New Zea- land November day. The women,** a rule, oast their vote* early, to aj to avoid the crushing which always occur* in th* after noon and evening, an 1 they went about their ta*k* with a gravity which betokened their sen** of their responsibilities. B HI I/'!* BKh. >. s Lively Bxperleare ' a Whll* rarsalB ! Xerth Cmrellsua, ' In my early youth I hired out to a farmer in the mountain* of western North Carolina," said a Virginia traveler to a re- porter 'or the St. Louis Globe-Democrat. The farm raised little bat scrub corn and raior-back hogs. Th* latter wort, turned out in the wood* and ran at large all sea- sons, eating mast, becoming as wild a* could be found in Africa. In th* spring it waa the custom lo hunt the** hogs up and brand th* pig* similar to the rounding up of cattle on thi western plains. This was sometimes a dangerous occupation, especially so when th* winter had been a hard on*. One day I started out after the hogs, and attar several hours' work failed to find any of them. Finally 1 saw a drove that had taken refuge in a " rock house," th* term used in that country to designate the space beneath overhanging rocks, and descending th* mountain, I reached aipac* near enough to them to recognize them aa the one* I wa* seeking. I had no *ooner satisfied myself upon this point than th* entire DBOV* STAKTBD roK MB, headed by a large boar with mammoth tuaka. Realizing my danger I hastily climbed a tree, hoping that when they could no longer ee me they wonld go back and give m a chance to return to the house and get aa- sistanoe, but in a minute they had com- pletely surrounded the tree and wers grunt- ing and squealing and fighting all around me I had dropped my gun in climbing to a puc oi safety, and there was nothing to be done exoept wait where I waa until they UfL Bat they did not leave ; nil night long they kept up their infuriated squeal* and by morning I wa* completely exhausted from the cramped position 1 had occupied o long, i finally attempted to change my position, aad in doing so fell from th* tree, alighting upon two of the hoga. Jumping to my feet, the animal* mad* a rush for th* place I had lallen, and finding th* bodies of th* two hog* 1 had struck they began to tear them to shred*, losing sight of m* al- together in their wrsngl* over the remain* of their comrade* I started on % run for the house, and, bringing assistance, w* killed every hog, It being impossible to drive them. ' (ilibby " A man oan never make any- thing out of politics unlean he's a hog." Cabby " I don't know. I've been in poli- tics a good deal." (llibby "And never made anything ? Oh, well, then are alway* exception*, yoa know." ' Doctor, do you think that th* cigarette habit really affect* th* brain ?" Doctor " That n a question that will probably nevnr iw answered." " Oh, doctor, why? ' Well, a man of brain* has n*v*r been di*oov*r*d smoking one." First buwnea* man "Why, man alive, once I was so poor that I didn't hav* a hirt to lew a Button on." Second busi- ness man "That's nothing; I wa* so poor that I didn't hav* even a button." Mrs. Shortt" How do you expect me to buy thing* for yon to eat if you don't give me any money?" Mr. Shortt " And how do you expert me to earn money for you if I don't get anything to eat say T" "And so, P tr, you spell 'women' with au ' a ?' " *aid the teacher, correct- ing an exercise. " Please, sir," wa* th* reply, " my papa told mamma only yes t*rd*y that wouisn were singular bsiugs." Good Boord fw a Storm' Tr'P- A (plendid record for safety of ships and cargoe* was made during 1S93 by the large fleet of grain carrier* between Pacific port* and Europe. The voyage i* the longest and stormiest of all rout** in the world 1 ! commerce, yet out of 3-J6 veaaela which sailod from San Francisco and other Pacific porn lor Hurone only on* failed to arrive at her destination safely and with oargo in good order. This one ship wa* stranded OB a South Pacific island, and lack of wrecking facilities alone prevented her getting off aad resuming h*r voyage. Her crew wa* saved. Teacher" What ia th* feminine of man, Thomas ? " Thomas " Woman. " Teacher " And the fsminino of gentleman ? " Thom- as (unhesitatingly) " Dudo." Blobbs "I sent a telegraph boy with a note that required an answer three hour* ikj" I wonder what has become of him." Slobba "A case ol kidnapping, I dare ay." rriemlofth* family-" Why did yon promise your daughter's hand to that idiot "Hh. and then refus* to let him narry her?" Stern Parent "1 wanton i<"iiething to boot."