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Two SJnnen. There wu a tnao. it was said one time, Who went astray la his youtlilul prime. Con the brun keep cool and the heart keep quiet When the blood is a river that is running riot? And the boys will be boys, thn old folks say, And a man's th<d better whu'd bad his day. The sinner reformed, and the preacher told Ot the prodigal son who came back to the fold, And the Christian people threw open the door With a warmer welcome than ever before ; Wealth and honor were hid to command, And a spotless woman gave biui her hand, And the world strewed their pathway with flowers abloom. Crying : " God bloss lady and God bless groom I" Thero was a maiden went astray In the golden dawn of life's youut2 day. Bbe had more passion and heart than head, And she followed blindly where fond love led â€" And love ancheeked la a dangerous guide To wander at will by a fair girl's side. The woman repented and turned from ber aln. Bat no door opened to let her in ; The preacher prayed that she might be for- glvun. But told her to look for morcy In heaven. For this is the law of the earth we know, That the woniau is soorued, while the man may go. A brave man wedded her after all, Bat the world said, frowning, " We shall not call." â€"ELU TTfiMtir Wilcox. The Cuoamonplaoe Woman. We have read, as you know, for ages and ages, Of a willowy aiaidun devoid of a spine, A fabulous, pre-hiatoric young parson, Who uu white of an e^n and a cracker could dine. Bat I write to you now of a commonplace wo- man. Who's shockingly healthy and fearfully fat. Who never has headache or nervous prostratlou. Commonplace 1 what could be more so than that. She doesn't do Kensington cat-tails or rushes. Nor bos sh« a screen with a one-legged stork. She doean't adoru Charlotte Kusse or blauc- m«nge8. But prefers onromantic, commonplace pork. She hasn't a quilt of crazy ntik patchwork. Nor the tiniest bit of crochatml macreme ; She cannot perform becihoven s sonatas. Nor sing but the most oomiuonplace little lay. 8iie hasn't a gift for the art decorative. Fasting Japanese monsters on Yankee stone That stands in a corner to look uo testbetic. But that grieves to the soul the old household Lar. She never paints song birds nor crickets on chinaâ€" To be drowned every day in our teacups, alas t Or ferns, cabbagu-rosesof ribbon ur velvet. And naught did she know of the much-ham- mertvj brass. Bbe cannot write poems that glow like a furnace. Nor eoaneltt as cold m tho A^penine snow : Por if she chops up her ideas into meter. There >t a rush in the ebb. and a halt in the aow. Shoioesu'c believe she was born with the luls- Sion, Un'esn, it >nay he, to be happy and well ; Nor duos she atall nnderstana protoplasm. And looks upon womeu who do as a " sell. * Bat there's worse to be told ot this oommonplacu woman. Who owna neither bird, uor dog, nor pet cat ; They fay that she's really iu love with ber hus- band. Oommuuplace! what would be more so than that'/ Andwhen wo all stand at the last dread tribunal. Where great and whore small aure assigned each a port. May the angels make room for the commonplace woman Who knows naught of literature, sctenoa or art. THE LADIES' COLUMN. The Beautiful Apartments of Qneen Victoria at the Quaint Palace of Holyrood. A CHILD WITH HISE QEABDPAaEHTS. IKON IN THK IILOUD. Ad Abandance la ths Ked-HeitUed tilrl'* Veins Prevent* Uer Tanuloff. A red-headed girl, I believe, never tarns brown. That, I uaderstood froiu a learned ph} sioian, 19 because she haa too much iron in her blood. It is the iron that gives the line Titian hue to her hair. If she had lesa iron in her blood her hair would probably be brown or oheatnat, or perhaps blonde. The varyinK degrees ol redness that you see in different red- headed itirla is ilao to the difTerent propor- tions of iron In their blood. A girl with glossy, brownish hair that shows red in a strong light has only a fair share of iron in her blood, bet a brioktop, it' I may be per- mitted the expression, a bricktop is full of iron. The doctors know of no way of neatraliziiii< the effect o( ths iron. Per- haps they wouldn't roEOrt to it even it they knew it. For it is tho iron in the blood that makes red-headed giria so strong and hardy and good- natured. It also is the cansu ot freckles, which are very good for the health. And it is noted as a singular thing â€" pro- bably also having some relation to tho iron in tho bloodâ€" that mosnaitoes never bite red-headed girls. Bo you see, according to the dictum ot this learned physician, a red- headed girl has many advantages over her dark-haired tiaieta.â€" Philadelphia Prtit. A Cure For Ineomala. "So many cures have been advocated for sleeplsssnoss that I am tempted," writes a correspondent, "to propound my own recipe, which, if it may appear somewhat impracticable and far-futched, haa at least the advantage of simplicity. It is meruly this: when you have tossed and toniblod about one bed until your pillow seems to be on fire and your sheets red-hot, tnrn intoaaotherâ€" I mean another bed. You will find the sheets and the pillows refresh- ingly cool, and it is probable at all events that you will go to sleep. The recipe ia not at all infallible, and it is ot coarse necessary to have another bod to turn into, which ia not alwa> » possible. But when practicable it IB wotth trying; and if it fails one can always fall back on the undoubted tact that there is no universal cure for aloepj lessness. What is one man's meat ii another man's poison." False Booiioiuy. Wife (reprovingly) â€" The great trouble with you is, John, you buy a good many things you don't need, simply because they are cheap. That is vory false economy. Husband â€" Uoto ia a lady's watoh I bought to-day for J20 that's worth every cent of $30. Wifeâ€" Oh, thank you, John ; why, it was a real bargain I After the laaslcale. Miss Soreeoher â€" Well, dear, how was my voice to-night? Did it fill the room ? Miss Veracityâ€" At first it did, but after- ward MisaBoreecher-Well? .JIKSi^ .1 ". Miss VoMtoityâ€" It emptiedthiiw "••'•. • < The Queen's Ediubnr|[b Hoose. Although Queen Victoria had visited Edinburgh before, she did not reside in the palace of Ilolyrood until August, 1850. She bad, meanwhile, selected the rooms to be fitted up for Prince Albert, herself, and their children, and they have remained ever since very much as they were first prepared. The suite selected was that corresponding to thof-) of Mary Stuart and Darnly, in the northwest corner, the Queen's being in the southwest corner. Even the little turret chamber, in which Mary Stnart was at supper with Rizzio the night he was torn away and stabbed to death has its counterpart in a similar little tower room, opening into a splemiid room known as Prince Albert's drawing- room. According lo the ground plan of these towers, which ia the same, this drawing-room corresponda with Queen Mary's bedchamber In the other corner, and there are two of these little rooms, as there are two towers flanking each side of the room. Mary Stuart used ber other tower room as a dreuaing-room, but in Prince Albert's drawing-room they are mainly cosily titted up with modern laiury. The first room of the suite is called the Queen's breakfast-room, sod is by no means tho small apartment which usnally does duty as a breakfast- room. Most of the rooma iu this suite are large, and the breakfast- room ia none of the smallest. The walls are paneled with oak half way up, and the mantel-piece id alao of oak, tiuely carved. The prevailing tints in fur- niture and wall decorations are green and gold, and the furniture is thoroughly modern and comfortablo. Next to this is a little s<iuare, oak-paneled room, ap- parently used for nothing at all. The only remarkable thing about it is a very ornamental roof, representing a blue dome and being studded with silver stars. Next to this ia Prince Albert's dressing-room â€" a fine, handsome apartment, with some superb panel paintings. It is furnished in green and gold. Prince Albert's drawing- room is one of the most splendid in the suite. It is nearly fifty feet long, and here are tbu two little tuwer rooma opening into it. It has an exquisitely worked ceiling, with the monogram of Victoria and Albert inserted in numerous panels, and has hand some furniture and Dangings of red and gold. The Queen haa two drawing-rooms, besides a throne- room. Uer bedroom is hung with artistic tapestry, and over the mantel ia a modern painting of Veuua rising from the sea. The state drawing-room oontuins soma of the orna mentation of the two Charleses, and the cipher " C- H." is seen in many plaoes on the walla and ceilings, espeoially in the Queen's drawing-room. The oak panel lug in this room is beautiful, and the ceil- ing, a delicate green, with the monogram of Victoria and Albert, the Scotch emblem of t)is thistle, the ruse and the shamrock, is muuh admired. Besides this room, there is what is called the evening draw- ing-room, which waa the Queen's favorite apartment. This ia iu red and gold, too, but the walls are heavy with tapestry brought from Buchingham Palace, and there are other reminders of ber Knglish home. Tho throne-room ia the most imposing of the suite, and there the Queen hold her levees. Its prspurtiona are very nearly sixty by thirty. It ia hong with crimson damask, and the royal arms are plentifully sprinkled about. At one end ia a throne, which was made tor George IV., when he made bis celebrated visit to Scotland in lti22. A portrait ot the first gentleman in Europe iu Uighland costume, and painted by Sir David Wilkie, hangs on the walla, beside numerous Uanoverian portraits. There ia but one Stuart represented among those portraits, and that is Mary, tho wife ot William of Orange. A. Itsby With Nine UraudpareuU, Kflie Webster, the little IG-mooths-old 'oaby of Mr. and Mrs. Webster, ot Lvcadiog, Mich., is a representative of the tlfth living generation â€" having father and mother, grand- father and grandmother on both sides, greatgrandfather and great-grandmother on both sides, and great-great-grandmotber on the side of the father â€" nine grand parents. The great-grasdparents on the mother's side have thirteen greut-grand- children and twonty-three grandchildren. Mbe Came Down Like on Anjcel. California has a petticoated balloon jumper. Uer name ia Mrs. Van Tassell ; she is young, handsome and blonde, and she weighs 165 pounds. She made her first jump at Los Angelea the other day. The rhiet of Police sent detectives to prevent her getting into her husband's balloon, from which she bad advertised to jump ; but she escaped froip them, made the ascent, and, when she waaamile above the city, dropped. She landed, feet foremost sate and sound. She ricked Out Six Uaiuselit for Him. One hundred and thirty-six Peking carts were to be seen ontside a gate of the Nanhai Palaoo at Peking, China, on the morning ot July 9th, each containing a fair candidate for the Emperor's harem from mandarin families of the Manohu, Mongol and Chinese banner population. The Empress held a fresh inspection on thrt day and selected for the youthful Emperor of fei-pin six damsels ot the lower rank of kungnu, 20. Florence MIchtlUKale at 00, Miaa i'lorenco Nightingale ia now a con- firmed Invalid, and ia a patient at St. Thomas' Hospital, Loudon. Her services during the Crimean war injured her spine, and she has never recovered from the effects thereof. This illustrious philanthropist is nearly 69 years old. Quceti Victoria and Her fearls. Queen Victoria haa a great fondness for pearls, and has taken care that each ot ber daughters shall have splendid ropes of them. One of her first purchases, after the birth of each child, haa been two or three very fine pearls, and on every snoceeding birthday she added one or two very perfect and oaref uUy selected ones to the string, so tfaj^t it waa completed by thetimo they were ready to " come out." These necklaces are very well known in England, and they have been worn frequently this season. The young daughters ot the Princess of Wales nave them, too, thanks to their grandmo- ther. The English papers even have com- mented ipon this rivalry and say : "It is surely a blunder that our Princess should have lent ber countenance to a custom worthy only of glorified pork-packers and millionairesses from the other side of the Atlantic. They admit that, though Lon- don ia the great diamond market. New York is her biggest customer, the sales here being estimated at something like $50,000,000 a year, and two large firms of this city carry- ing a stock valued at 81,500,000 each. Mrs. Marshall 0. Roberts' pearls have been the most splendid seen in London this season. She has three strings of three sizes, which hang around the neck apart from each other. She also has a ruby pendant, with seven large stones of the true pigeon's blood color, and these are set amid very fine dia- monds, the whole attracting much atten- tion whenever she has worn them in Lon- don. Another one of her jewels commented on by the society papers there is a lizard with a ruby head, emerald body and dia- mond legs." A Singular Test of Strength. In a recent issue ot the Cincinnati En- HxiireT we find an account ot a novel con- test ot human against brute strength. Two residents of Dearborn county, Indiana, Wm. Liddle, a merchant, and Jesse Crim, a blacksmith of the village, laid a wager that they could outpull any two horses in the township. Steven Cook, a farmer, who owned a fine team, accepted the bet, and not long ago, in the presence ot a concourse of neighbors and friends of the respective contestants, the trial ot strength was made. Liddlu and Crim lay fiat on their backs with their feet firmly braced against an immovable structure arranged for the pur- pose, and with their beada pointing from the horses, that were hitched a distance of 40 feet away to a piece of timber held firmly in the hands ot the prostrate men. The test was to be decided by the horses either pulling the timber from the hands ot the men, or else polling them from the ground to their feet. Three trials were to be made, each of three minutes' steady pulling. The excited farmers and villagers crowded around the parties to witness this singular teat of strength and endurance The horses were twice whipped into pull ing their best, but with distended muscles and swelling veins that told of the terrific strain upon them the prostrate men held the horses to their position. At the third trial the excited farmer lashed his horses to force them to their utmost, when, by a sudden jerk, ths timber in the hands of the resisting men, and to which the horses were hitched, snapped in two pieces. The end of one piece struck Crim in the side as it broke, and rendered him unconscious for nearly an hour. He was supposed to be dead, but finally recovered, and is out of all danger ot serious results from the blow. What a Man's Kar Shows. In China long ears are considered aji indication cf wisdom, and common people think they are the Emperor's chief charac- teristic. Pliny says : " When our ears do glow and tingle some do talk of us in our absence." Mollisaeus, an ancient writer, says : " It bis ears tingle 'tis a sure sign that others speak of him." In " Much Ado About Nothing " we read : " What fire is in my ears '.'" Herrick alludes to the ear superstition : " One uar tiDultJS ; some tburebe That are suarUntj now at mo.' An earlier writer (15'J8) says : " If their ears tingle they say it is a sign they have some enemies abroad that do or are about to speak evil ot them." An old writer say a ot the superstitious man : " When his right ear tingles he will be oheerfcl, but if his left he will be sad." In popular weather lore, when the eara ring at night a change ot wind is at hand. Forster, an old meteorologist says : " Siag- iug in theear portends a change of weather. ' It seems formerly to have been a form of endearment to bite ore's oar. We read in Komeo and Juliet : " " I will bite thee by thine ear for that jest." The ear was in Egypt a hieroglyph ot obedience. The saying " walls have ears," is very old. Chaucer says : " The beldt hath eyen and the wood bath ears." The phrase " to set people by the ears" had its origin iu a pot-bouae custom of stringing pots by the handles or ears, and clashing them together in carrying them. Tho Scotch ask : " Right lag, left lug which lug lows ? " So in Hull, England it is said that slander is talked about you it the loft ear burns ; but if the right, men speak woU ot yoa. In Lancashire this is reversed. The Dutoh say that some one ia praising you it the right ear itches, but if the left be calls you names. In the latter caae bite your little finger and the evil speaker's tongue will suffer accordingly. In this country it ia said that people talk well ot yon if the right ear tingles, but evil it the left. The Empress's M onamentto Her Husband Tho cboice of the monument which the Empress Victoria is about to erect over the grave of Frederick III. ia anothet instance of the delicate consideration which dis- tinguishes the actions ot ths widowed Empress. During their stay at Toblach the Emperor and Empress were much interesteid in the small old churob ot " the Holy Grave " at Innishen, which has often attracted the attention of visitors to tho Poster valley by its peculiar architecture. The Emperor himself went over the church, and the Empress mado sketches ot various parts of it. At present two prominent Oermau architects are at Innishen making plana of the church, an exact copy of which is to be built as a mausoleum over the remains of the Emperor at the Friedenskirche. Asking Tt»o Much. Old lady (to druggist's boy)â€"" What does the proprietor do, boy, when he gives arsenio tor somethin' else ?" Boy â€" " Well, I dnnno ; sometimes he does one thing an' sometimes he does auother. You oau't expect, ma'am, a 93-a- week boy to keep track ot ths boss all the time.'' â-  ^ ' â€" â-  I An Inaccurate Definition. Tenihorâ€" " You may tell me, Willie, what la ruminating animal is." Willie â€" " One'that chews its cubs." THB CREWS OF BIG SHIPS. It Takes a Good Manr Hen to Hanase the Oveao t&acers. The crew of a big ahip like the City of New York numbers a good many more persona than some regiments of soldiers, says the New York Sun. The New York is commanded by Capt. Frederick Watkins, and hia right-hand man, the chief officer, is 8. F. Barff. To help these two to nav- igate the ship six deck officers are provided, and three of them are constantly on deck when at sea. In addition to these, in what may be called department ot seamen, there is boatswain and ilia mate and 3U aailora, of whom 12 men are called quartermasters, who are detailed to steer the ship and stand on lookout. There is also a ship's carpenter, who ia generally as handy aloft as with the saw and adze. In charge of the machinery are a chief engineer, Mr. McDougall, and '27 assistant engineers, beside two electricians and their three as- sistants who look after the electric lights , three donkey men, 31 leading firemen, 54 firemen, 63 trimmers and one blacksmith. The donkeymen are foremen in charge of the boilers ; the leading firemen are also called greasers, and it is their duty to keep the machinery oiled and cleaned. The 54 firemen shovel coal into the furnaces, and see that it is spread just right to burn as hot aa possible, and when a furnsce needs cleaning they do the work. The trimmers shovel the coal from the bunkers into the stoke hole. Mr. McLeod, the chief steward, is assisted by Mr. Flnlow, for- merly steward ot Jay Gould's yacht Atalanta, and by 146 other people, cf whom seven are women and eight are boys in their teens, called bellboys. Mrs. Mo- Nichol ia the chief stewardess, and four women help her in the first cabin. The second cabin and the steerage, have one stewardess each. Of the other people in this department 30 are table waiters, 1(3 are bedroom stewards and attend to keep- ing staterooms in order, 10 are occupied in the pantry, IU are cooks, ti are porters, 5 are messroom stewarda and wait on the olficers, 14 are in the second cabin, 10 are in the steerage, 4 are bakers, 3 are butchers and 5 are storekeepers, and this term includes the bartenders and the men in immediate charge of the rooma where pro- visions, etc., are kept. While tbia com- pletes the list of the three great depart- ments into which a ship's company is divided, there is jet a purser, who ia a keeper ot accounts, besides having a lot of other important duties to attend to, and the ship's surgeon, who has one assistant. The number ot stewarda carried varies with the passenger Iroilic. The total num- ber of the crew of the City ot New York when she sailed waa, according to the parser, 3<J4. 'â-  The Field la the World." There are 75 Episcopal churches ia New York city, and 44 of them are entirely free. There is some idea ot holding tho next Pan-AngUcan Council in the I'nited States. The American bishops have made the sug- gestion to the English prelates. Cardinal Lavigeris, who is tr> lug to sup- press the slave trade, was, before he left London, cordially received by the Prince and Princess of Wales and by Lord Salis- bury. While iu England he waa elected a member of the Anti- Slavery Society. In the prosecution of bis mission the Cardinal intends to visit all tho capitals of Europe. The Karl and Countess of Aberdeen re- cently entertained at Dollis Hall 350 of the residents ot the homes for working girls in London. Among those preseut on the occasion were Dr. Ueorge Macdonald, the novelist ; Captain Biuclair and a large number of ladies and gentlemen interested in benevolent enterprises and the reforma- tion of the masses. There has been much discussion of late regarding the relative merits of Chris- tianity and Mohammedanism as a religiou suitable to the African race. Kev. Isiiao Taylor and the traveller Johnstone con- tend stoutly for the superiority of Moham- medanism. A new opinion has been ad- vanced by Dr. I'ierson, of Philadelphia, now in Scotland, who, whilo preaching at Oban a tew days ago, expressed bis oonvic- tiou that Cod had used Mohammedanism as a means of preparation for Christian missions. Dr. Boyd Carpenter, Bishop ot Bipon, iu an address to tho University Extension students at 0.\ford, described novels as the "prose poems of tho day." Novels, he said, were no longer looked at askance or read in secret as they once were. It was now no uncommon thing for clergymen to put one another through a course of exami- nation to find out whieh was best up in his " Pickwiok." The novelist had latterly entered the domain ot theology, as he had already fraterni7.ed with art and science. " Novelist, preach on, if you will lift me higher," said the bishop. " We have tried to do all in our power. God speed you! We are brothers in one common cud." Professor Jowett complimented the bishop, and stated that he seemed to have the power beyond any of his contemporaries of adapting the religiou of Christ to the wants of the nineteenth ceutury. In recent times laymen have not been privileged to any extout to preside in Pres- byterian assemblies. It waa considered a rare example when, a few years ago. Dr. Bruce, of Newcastle, a licensed preacher, but never in charge of a congregation, was elected moderator of tho English Preaby- toriau Synod. Hia brother. Sir George Bruce, who ia an elder iu the Church, ia now uamed for the ohair. The suggestion is creating aomo difficulty. Dr. Walter Morriaou, of Westbourne, London, writes to the effect that to elect a layman to the moderator's chair would be uuconstitu- tioual, besides being out of tho order ot succeasion. Dr. Burns, of Kirkliston, gives an account of ths American assemblies and makes special mention of the allioieut man- ner in which a layman this year discharged the duties of vice- moderator. Dr. Burns thinks the Amerioans are moving in the right direotiou and recalls tho tact that John Erskine, of Dun, a layman, was six times moderator iu the Scottish Reforma- tive Assembly, and that the honorable office was held also by George Buchanan. A DASHING EXI'LOIT. How Forty Daring Euglljthnaen Captured 40O Beluoche»H. The recapture of Mono from the rebel leader Tweknga-lu in the beginning of May is a good example of what rapid and deter- mined action will do with a semi civilized enemy. The relieving party under CoL SartoriouB, ot the Ist Beloochees, atarted at daybreak, in a downpour of rain, from » village in the hills to the wast of Mone. About two miles from the town Mr. Soott, the assistant superintendent of the Shan States, with Lieut. Fowler, of the Beloo- chees, and six men of the liide brigade, mounted on officers' ponies, v?ent off from the main column to make a dash on the palace. Mr. Scott had been in Mone several times before, and was able to take the party by a jungle path round the south of tho town. From there they galloped straight on the palace, disregarding tlie armed rnen in the streets. The eastern gate waa fortunately ajar, so that it waa not necessary to dis- mount. The clatter of the hoofa brought Twek-nga.Iu to a window. Mr. Scott kne^r him by sight, and, with the assistance of a soldier, had the rebel tied to his own bed- post within two minutes of entering the palace inclosure, which is over a hundred yards square and full uf detached bouses. Tweknga-lu had a repeating rifie loaded with sixteen cartridges lying oy hia bedside, but had not time to seize it. The four gates were then closed and guarded by one man each, and another guarded Tweknga- lu. Mr. Scott and Mr. Fowler, with the corporal of the party, then went to meet the bodyguard of twenty men, all armed with guns. Mr. Scott demanded the name of the leader, who proved to be Xweknga- lu's chief fighting-man. Ue then announced who he was and called on them in Shan to sit down,advancingall the time. Kau-aang, the leader, refused, whereupon Mr. Scott promptly knocked him down, seized the gan of the man behind him, and shouted oat that he would shoot any one who did not sit down immediately. The corporal and Mr. Fowler each covered his man as ho came on. Before tho Bhans could realize the sitaation, tivo had bees dis- armed, and the rest then gave in. Messrs. Scott and Fowler collected all the guns and swords, the corporal kneeling in the Hythe position ready to fire. In tivu minutes tbe palace was completely in their hands and the main column was beard tiring to tho north of the town. A ijuartL-r ot an hour later they marched into tho palace and found everything Buttled, Tweknga-la bound and his obief leaders ander guard. When it is considered that the town was held by 400 men and that the force inside the palace outnumbered the capturing party by nearly ten to one. tho affair may be considered aa snceeaaful an example of prompt daring aa is lo bo found out of a lady's romance. The capture of Twek- nga-lu is likely to have the most aatisfao- tory results. The disturbances whicb broke out in the southern Bhan Slates in April were mainly due to his advance and his intrigues, and now that he and bis chief leaders have been captured, the complete estabhshment of peace may be anticipated. St, Jamti' Gasttte. It ia only CO years ago tbia month that the firpt stage carrying tho Uuited States mull Westward passed over the Allegheny mountains. The road taken by ths stage was from Cumberland, Md., to Wheeling, a distance ot 130 miles. The Huln Spring Itrohe. The folding bed is spparuutiy utikuown in Virginia. The other day a tall and rather verdank F. F. V. arrived iu town, on a Government office bent, and took quarters in a Washing- ton boarding hoose. Aa it was the dull season the Virginian waa quartered in a largo front room where the bed folded silently up, like Longfellow's Arab tent. It so happened that the Virginia boarder met some friends from Alexandria durinf$ the evening of his lirst day in WaghiDg- ton, and when he reached home ths hoar was late. Beaching his room ho fell on the bed, boots ana all, and the springs being worn the structure began to close up. The elevation of his feet, however, did not trouble the new boarder in the least ; bo was already slumbering peacefully, and the bed, of course, did not close tightly. In the morning tho absence of her new boarder from breakfast troubled the land- lady to such an extout that she went witb the maid to investinate. The Virginian's door was open, the room undisturbed and tho bed apparently closed. The maid, however, discovered hiii hat on the floor, and then in sepulchral tones called atten- tion to the feet protruding from the top of the bed. The terrified women pnlled the bed slowly down, and tho now boarder, awak- ened by tho motion, crawled out in a rumpled state. " I beg jour pardon," he said in some confusion, but his Virginian politeness quickly getting control, " I was feehnt< a little peart last night and sat down rather hard on tho bed, and Iâ€" I reckon 1 busted tho miinBy ting."â€" Wiuhing ton Cor. Sew York Preti. Women Uettlnc otT Cars. Woman, lovely woman, will wilfully per- sist in getting off street oars backward before they stop, despite conductors' cautions. A young woman fell fiat on Niagara street a day or two ago becaase she jumped off while tho car was moving, and that same night the writer saw an elderly woman saved from a like fate on a Main street oar by (ho conductor's seizing her just as she was about to leap. Of I course the innocent oroaturea think that it a man can jamp off a moving car ^ith , impunity, they can. But no man can get off at right angles with a oar, putting down , first the foot on tho side toward the horses I without spilling himself promisouonsly ou \ the pavement. If women won't wait until the car stops, they should remember these ' simple rules : First, (ace the same way the oar is going ; second, pull skirts clear of ' the oar ; third, put tho outside foot well ] forward and brace tho body back ; foarth, hold on with both hsnda until tho driver stops the horses ; fifth, stop oS.â€"Buff'aLo Kxpreii. Had Utm Thera. Countryman (to oulebrated Hindoo Snake Charmer) â€" 1 s'poao you know a good deal about snakes, Mistor? Hindoo Snake Charmerâ€" Snakes, sir, have been the atady of my eventfal life. I know all about them. Countryman â€" Tho hull bosiness? Hindoo Snake Charmer â€" Yes, sir. Countryman â€" â-  Well, I wish you'd tell a feller whore the body leavsi off an' the tail begins,â€" A'ei^ I York Sun