Grey Highlands Newspapers

Flesherton Advance, 21 Jun 1888, p. 7

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^^ METHODIST OONTERiarOE. The Longley Oaiie Dealt Norwicb. With at The Lonicli'y Cade. At 11 o'clock the Conference resolved itself into special snasion for the considera- tioQ of the Longley case. Rev. James Gray had charjje of the prosecution, and Rev. E. A. Stafford of the defence. All the charges, evidence, documents, etc., were read in open conference by the Secretary and Rev. D. L. Brethoor. The whole day was taken up with placing the ease before the conference. Various con- tradictory ramors have ^oneinto the news- papers concerning the whole matter, but the followin(» facts, bronght out in the evidence read to- day, may be relied upon as trustworthy : No charges of criminal conduct on the part of Mr. Longley were presented in the charges, and no evidence whatever was bronghtout to prove anything of the kind. This was distinctly under- stood by all. There were, however, indis- cretions, which Mr. Longley admitted. The interviews at the charch and at the Albion Hotel, Toronto, were not denied, but nothing criminally improper took place on either occasion. UK. LONIiLEv'a WUITTEX STATEMENT. The written statement of Mr. Longley was read, in which he positively stated that he had repeatedly endeavored to free him- self from the intimacy and have the inter- views cease, but he found himself unable to do so. It had been stated in the public press that Mr. Loogley's domestic relations were not happy, and that his wife had threatened to leave him. Not ii word was presented in the evidence to subatautiate these statements. On the contrary, docu- ments were read which showed that there was no domestic infelicity. In his state- ments Mr. Longley confesses his weakness, acknowledges that ba bad acted foolishly, bat most positively denies having any criminal relations with the young lady in question. Both seem to have been led almost unc«n->cioaaIy along in their career of infataation without realizing the fully of the course they were pursuing. Mr. Long- ley declares that he has most heartily re- pented of his sin and asked the Divine for- giveness. Us bad thought of entering into a secular occupation, but still feels called to pursue the work of the ministry, inasmuch as he believes God has forgiven him. He asked the Conference to deal as mildly with 'â-  him as possible, so that he might be able to pursuu bis work in another part of the world. Kev.James Gray addressed the conference, urging the adoption of the resolution of the Toronto District Meetiog. He thought the evidence justifit^d such a coarse. PLKA.S ruB LK.MliNCy. Kev. E. A. Stafford made an earnest plea on behalf of Mr. Longley. He ad- mitted the indiscretion of the defendant, but thoutfht it was not sufficiently serious to warrant txpulsion. Uther.i who have served the heaviest penalty. After hearing the charges and evidence in the case, he felt greatly relieved, and was of the opinion that mercy suited Mr. Longley's case best. He believed that Mr. Longley had sincerely repented, and in his opinion penitence had not oome too late. Some members of the Conference asked that the discussion be shortened so that delegates might leave on the afternoon train. ini. LOKGLEl'a aT.lTUMEST. The following is a brief synopsis of bis address : " There has been a mistake in regard to the length of time the interviews continued between the young lady and myself. It has been said that it continued for a whole year. I am willing to take my full share of blame ui the unfortunate matter. We both glided imperceptibly into the intimacy. There was no pre- mTditatod evil intention. I fre<iucutly intimated to her the impropriety of the interviews, although I am free to admit that I did not insist upon their immediate discontinuance. At the meeting which took place in the vestry of the church I was strongly advising her to consent to the complete cessation of the intimacy. ,Tuut then her mother knocked at the door. This made it necessary to arrange for another interview. 1 admit that we wore both very foolish, but not criminal. The interviews did not take place nearly as fre<)Uently as stated. When I went away from Toronto I did not intend to return. I acted upon advice in my course, but I found that it was to my advantage to return and meet my trial. There may seem to be some contradictions between the statements of the young lady and my own, but there is really no colli- sion, ulthough it may look like it. I am here to-day to ask for justice. I do not think it is fair to heap all the blame upon me â€" I have not been the teacher and leader of the young lady in a career of sin. I am willing to take my share of the blame, but not all. Her word should not be taken as final upon vital points and my word treated as worthless. All sorts of reports have been made, many uf them coming from malicious tongues. It is not just that all these should be accepted. I am here to ask, in justice, that the extreme penalty be not visited upon me, because the extreme charge has not even been made. I am here to ask for mercy. I have been sufiicieutly bumbled and crushed to ask for mercy â€" not for the sake of bolstering up what is left of my reputation, but for the sake of the good 1 may still be able to do in the calling 1 love. I sincerely thank my brethren who have stood by me during this severe trial. I shall not refer to my past record of twenty years, but think it ought to count for something. I admit my error ; I de- serve punishment ; and 1 have been pun- ished already. Had it not beon for this anfurtuiiate affair my name would have stood connected with one of the leading churches in this Dominion. My own con- sciouaueris of personal sin has been my meat and Irink day and night. I must be followed by my wrong doing. My min- isterial life is in your bands. I have no malice against those who have spoken WKUUKU I.N SIX WOUUS. Wluftt 1h lieK]ir<l«*fl liH tile Oul«*k«Ht Mar- riim;M ou Uecord. " One of the ijiiickest marriages I aver heard of," said n talkative man to a Chi- cago Mail reporter, •' was performed by Rev. Dr. Aaron Turner, now in the Minne- sota Coufereuoe." Then the talkative fel- low talked on in this lively strain : " Dr. Turner was in charge of tho Vin- cennes circuit at the time. One eveniu;^ he was hurrying his toilet in preparation for a mariiagr tlmr. . h was to purform at H o'clock at the homo ul .;iiB of his dock. Ho was late ami very much afraid that he couldn't reach the place of appointment in time. ,IuHt as he tiut bis white tie ad- justed and was gHttini; himself into his coat a knock was huard on the paraonoj^e door. Dr. T<irnur took up bis hat, stepped to the dour and openi'd it. A young man stood outside. I^r. Turner asked his busi- ness. The young man was Hurried, brit he managed to say that he wanted to g'jt mar- ried, and handed tho parson a marriage license. " Well," said Dr. Turner, " I can't do it to-night. I am harrying now to perform another ceremony, I'm alreac'.y late. " " But," pleaded tho young man," it won't take long." " I know, but 1 can't wait." And the preacher came out ;iad closed the lioor, walking rapidly k • But, ilr. Tu.^er, " called the yonng man, desperatidy, and he ran alter the minister, " you aurnly can marry us. It won't take you but a minute." " Where's the lady ?" " Right back here,' and the young man pointed to a figure standing in the shadow of a tree. " Wull, come on, " Dr. Turner said, and tho two wunt back to where the girl stood. " Is this the woman you want to marrv ?" " Ws," sail! the young man. " Then you are man and wife. Oooii night." Ami away he w-.-nt, leaving the pair standing Hpi-evhIcHH. It was a minute before the m-wly made husband recovered enough to run attur 'he preacher, who was rapidly ilisappearing in tiie dark. " Mr. Turner ! Mr. Turm-r 1" ho cried. '• Well, what is it .' " said the proacbur, pausing. " Why, was -hat al! ? Will that do 7" " Yi H. yes, tiiat will do. Yuu Br« just iis much married aa •( I'd gon*.' through a yarri of Cfr'.-uiony. (Jui-hI inght. .Vnd again he hurried away, n-achmg his appoinluiunt just in the nick of tune. Tho young man we'it slowly back !o the . bride and npt^iit the next hour jr two in I satisfying her that she was really married. gone to greater degrees of guilt have been i against me. If yon entertain my plea for saved from expulaion on account of their penitence and confession. He urged that inasmuch as there was absolutely no evi. dence to prove criminal conduct, and uot ewsu a cbarHe uf that kind, expulsion from the Charch would be too heavy a penalty. He did not believe that Mr. Longley had deliberately planned and brought about the ruin of the young lady ; if he thought , 80 he would not defend him. He had every j speak for several moments. ooufldencc that Mr. Longley would uever The resolution adopting the minute of again be led into similar acts of folly. Ho | the Toronto district meeting, which recom- believed him to be « pure. minded, upright . mended his expulsion from tho ministry, man. He thought that the Dominion | was then put and lost, only twelve voting mercy I solemnly promis<), in the sight of Ooi, by humility and a correct life, to endeavor to save the erring and the fallen, and thus to show my gratitude to Uod and to you." Many of the members of the Conferenee were visibly affected daring the address, and Mr. Longley himself several times choked up with emotion and could not Church, Ottawa, knowing all tho facts of the case, would bo willing to accept Mr. Longley as their pastor. In his opinion twenty years uf faithful service and correct life ought to count for something. The leading of&cials of the Dominion Church have expressed their umiualitied confidence in Mr. Longley. Ri-v. Dr. Burns also spoke strongly in favor of tho defendant. KIITLSION MOVKl) TOIL It was then moved that the recommenda- tion of the Toronto district be adopto<i, thus expelling Mr. Longley from the ministry of the Methodist Charch. It was moved in amendment that Mr. Longley be reprimanded by the chsir and permitted to retire without bis credentials, which is in substance accepting his resigna- tion. Shortly alter the commencement ef the afteriitKiu proceedings the Conference was resolved into a special session for continu- ing the Longley case. All persons uot members of the Conference were asked to retire. Several did so, but a few remained, who had to be H|)ecially requested to leave. Uev. John Wakefield was the first speaker. Hu was iu favor of adopting the recommendation of the Toronto District. Mr. Lougley's mistake was uot the result of a sadden impulse by which a man might be overtaken in a moment, but it had gradually developed through suooeflsive weeks and months. It had been stated (bat Mr. Longley had not been guilty of criminal relations with the lady in ques- tion, but ic was a very difficult thing to prove. Tho interviews, to say the least, were highly improper. Us thought ths Church, and the families of the Church, should bo protected from men who had acted as Mr. Longley had done. Mr. T. S. Liusoott said that Mr. Long- ley's fault could uot be overlooked, but there was .lUoh a thing as mercy. It would be a very uiikiud thing to suppose that the grosser form of sin had been committed It hail uot been proved for it VKllDICT OK THB I.'O.NI'EIIKSCK. The following resolution was then moved by Rev. U. W. Woodsworth, seconded by Rev. W. H. Laird : " That having heard all the evidence in the caee of liev. B. Longley, we deeply deplore the glaring in- consistency and sinful folly of bis oonduot, and hereby ailjadge that ho be suspended from tho ministry of the Methodist Church for a period of one year. And weearnestly pray that the fruits of a repentance, which we are glad to recognize as sincere and genuine, may henceforth be manifested in a oonsistont and holy life." This resolution was carried by a vote of 50 to 40. Rev. Mr. Calvert's motion was therefore not voted on. Tho Conference then adjourned. Nbe Would. Russell was once singing " Tho Gambler's Wife," iu an English town, and having uttered the words : Hash ! he comoH not yot 1 The clock striliea ouu t He atrnck tho key to imitate the sudden koell of the departed hour, when a respect- ably dressed woman rjaoulated to the amazement of everybody, " Wouldn't I have fetched bin: home!" All of Mrs. CJaudle's lectures were concentrated in that little sentence. Faiicy 9UmbnUD'H ITeelinga. Mr. Slimbrain (fishing for a compliment) â€" Bobby, what did your sister say when she heard that I was going to stay to sup- per again to-night ? Bobbyâ€" Let me see â€" oh I yea, she said Mr. Slimbrain must think we keep a hotel. Tiro of a Kind. did uot even claim this. In civil courts a defendant is always given the benefit of any doubt which might exist. He was iu favor of doing this iu Mr. Longley's case. Rev. T. W. Jackson went over the evi- dence, and urged that deposition from the ministry was tho adequate punishment for Mr. Lougley's crime. Uev. Thomas Colling said that while the extreme of guilt had n')t been'proven, the crinio of the defendant was such that it ^ merited a very severe punishment. He could not forget the age, ability and ex- perience of Mr. Longley, which very largely deprived him of excuao. ' ' Wife (in soiled wrapper, soiled collar and slippers down at heel, to husband who enters late)â€" Ah 1 John, you're not a bit like what von ased to be. Husband (glanc- tho prosecution i ing at her dress) â€" Neither are you, my dear, neither are yon. Mathematical. " Mary, why don't you use the uew tea- pot I bought .' " Mary â€" " Please, mum, cook says she is very sorry, mum, but the new teapot has tell in three halves." â€" llarpcT'i Bazar. It is related that over twenty Southern "fairs" have already invited Jefferson I Davis to deliver oratious next fall. Mollie Garfield becomes the wife of J. He looked at the ' Stanley Brown, the late President Gar- interests of the Charch, and felt it to be his ' field's Private Secretary, the middle of duty to vote for Mr. Lougley's expulsion, next month. On the same day Mollie Oar- Hia repentance had oomo a little too 'ate. field's brother Uenry is to bo married. Rev. John Layoock said that he had • Uenry Garfield and his brother James are oonio to the Conference greatly prejudiced to practice law in Cleveland under the •gainst Mr. Longley, believing that he de- ' name of Garflold & Garfield. X«iti[i»*riili«:e >ut«M. Now Zealand ri-juici-s m the fact that there is nut a liiriiiilcry within its borders. I Great Britain has l.j.OUO temperance organi;:aMonH. f Atlania, Ga., has a prohibition club with â- i,000 membL-rK. An association for the suppression of impure literature has been formed by some ' women uf Pans. According to the Chicago Inter Ocea?!, Ihu i criminal i.uurts daily more thoroughly establish tho intimacy between liquor and 1 lunacy. I During the past year over '200 members have been added to tho W.O.'Pr Otilons of I Utah. 7.") to the yuunt; jioople's Sucioties and I over (iOtJ to the* I.uval T't. inporanoj Logions. .The work has b-iii presented before the I Meihuilist, I'resbyteriBii and Congrtga- tional asHuciatiiyiiH, many short uiidresses 1 given before -ti-houls and 8unduy schools ] and over '^O.OtW pages cf literature dis- I tributcd. I " I cannot undi-rstand tho Knglish pec- I pie, " said ihii lato liajah of Trav»ncoro. " They say it is vcrv wrong to send opium to China, 10 i! •morali/*' the Chinese. But j ia it uot also a very wicked thing to en- courage the sale of iiito.xicatiug hi^uor in I India for the sake uf revenue? Is it not ! just as crindnal to degrade Hindoos as it is , to degrade Chinamen ? Why is it not as ; wrong to stnd brandy ami whiahf-y to Calcutta as to send opium to Shanghai or . Hong Kung?" j The U'iuAin;;(onii/n .Mo7iihly, tho organ of the Washiugtuuiaii Uouk', Cbijago, thus I gets forth tho principles upon w lioh tho I treatment of putii-uts admitted to that in- ' slitutiuu is base<l : " The four cardinal I rules that are taught in the lectun h to tho i inmates of the home as necessory to a complete restoration of the physical needs of tho body from tho wliinkoy habit are : Total abstinence, uuttiiious food (hygienically used), sleep and cheerfulness. Add to the abovi; a total abslaiijing from narcotics of all kinds, and a thorough moral dovt*U»piii»*nt anil the battle is com- paratively easy â€" in fact ihero is no battle to fight. I'his is a pointer for those oulsido of reformatory iuslitutious to roform them- selves, porinaneiitly, i( they will.' For many months a largo and iiillaoutial commitltf of rt-preseiitativf^, who number among them niember.i uf Parliament, as well as dolegatoH from muHionary, temper- ance and oilier philanthropic socie-ties, has been sitting in London to investigate tho question of the destruction which for so long has been going on among tho native races in almost all parts of thu world, owing to tho importation of ardent spirits distilled iu Europe. Tho amount of evi- dence tending to prove tho e.xteut of tho evil before thooommitteo ii terribly signifi- cant, aud proves that upon France, Ger- many, Great Britain, Holland, Portugal aud Sweden lies tho grav.i renponHibility of pandering to the naturally niurbid craving tor spirits in .-\frio* and other lauds. To Buoh an alarming extent has ihis in ireaaed of late that in some rf-markal)lo cases the African natives ihemseKos have petitioned that tho import of spirits may bo stopped, inasmuch as tho annihilation of their tribes is inevitable it it i-ontinuos. OLU-TI.tlli: .SCIENCE. Some Natural History, uf the Fabulous Order, ef Foriuer Genuratiuiis. The " Speculum Mondi ; or, a Glass Representing the Face of thu World," which was published in 1070, before the advent uf roal science, contains some very urious statements in natural history, says tho I'nimlar Scienci: ilviulily. "Tho bigness of thu whales," it says, "equalizeth the hills and mighty mountains." Indeed, some authors mention "far greater whales than these." Abo ye all others, mermen and murmaida are considered " the moat strange fish in the waters." A fine speci- men of mermaid, which was said to have been caught iu Holland, "suffered herself to be clothed, fed witli broad, milk and other meats, and would often strive to steal again into thu sea, but being carefully watched she could not. Moreover, she learned to spin and perform other petty uflices of women ; but at the first they cleansed her of the sea- moss which did slick about her." Tho ostrich is said to be compounded, as it were, of a bird and a beast. For making a drunkard loathe his liquor a prescription is given for breaking owls' eggs and putting; them into it. Birds of Paradise " have no wings, neither do tney fiy, but are borne up into the air by the aubstility of their plumes and lightness of their body." The unicorn is described as being like a two-year-old colt, with a horn growing out of his foroliead, " a very rich one, being a horn of such virtue as is in no beast's horns bsides, which, while some have gone about to deny they have secretly blinded the eyes of tho world from their full view of tho greatness of God's ureat works." Tho gorgoii is a "fearful and terrible beast to look upon. He causotb his uiauu to stand upright, and, ;(aping wide, he sendoth forth a horrible and filthy breath, which infectoth and poisoneth tho air." The cockatrice or basilisk is called the king of serpents, not only ou account of bis si/x;, but also 'â-  for his stately pace and mag- nanimous mind." His iKjison scorches the grass as if it were burned. The " beams ' of his eye will kill a man. Tho drogon is found cbiedy iu India and Ethiopia. " His wings will carry him to seek his prey when and whore occasion serveth." Uia teeth ant very sharp and set like a saw, but his prodigious strength " resteth in his tail." The ampbisbena hati two heads and no tail, " havinu a head at both ends." Africa "abouudeth' with them. CrematiuK th** KIui;'h y^iiia. From Siarn we learn that Ihu cremation of tho two sons of the king, winch was " celebrated at tho end of Febrnai y, was a cereujuuy eclipsing in magniU ance even that of the king's uncle, wtioso body was cremated last year. ' Un that occasion the chief featuresof the proceedings were illus- trated 111 a London pictorial weekly, but the present occasion ueeins to have passed unnoticed. For fifteen days Bangkok was given up to revelry. No work was done, and such amusements as fireworks, illuini nations and interminable dramatic per- formances were provided nightly and kept up till 'i or -i o'clock a.m. Tho building in whii;h the cremation was effected had been erected at a cost exceeding .'jO.UOO pounds sterlini;, a fact which, as it is now being 'lemolishcd as having served its purpose, shows munificence, if not extravagance. Externally tbi« " premane " presented tho appearance of a palace of gold, so gorgeous wa.s its ornamentation ; and internally US chief featnro was the electric light with which It was illumined throughout. Thorg were two separate <;reination days during the fortnight, and the final procession lor each was so long that it occupied over an hour in passing a fixed point. Siamese funerals may be exiiensivo cerenionios, but at least they cannot bo called lugubrious. â€" I'all .Vail Ouzrit,-. " The Land of Little People." The (olliiwiuu iiDi'in api"iara in a volume of verse by Mr. Ooiier Willis, ciutitied " Talus and Legonds iu \ ursH. ' It is an auHwur to a iKiom of lyir. Weuthurly uu tlio kiuno HUhjuct. Y«B ; tho land ')( little pooplo is a lovolier;iand than ours. <-- i With lU uilno of now-toiind treasures, uiossy ijlades, and faiiy bowers ; Earth her robe uf chuicubtlwauty siireode to woo the tender feet, Aud tile auifuiB wbisperiuK r<mud thum thrill tho air with accents switut. Memorv IjriuKB no pauy "f suriuw, troubles liiflitly iiasBuway, Holies burii'-on is to-morrow, aud the sun is Ijriiiht ti-'-iay : Kvory inumeut has its ijlesuiugs, sweeter tb(iU({btu and fairer (lowers. Yes ; ilie land <d Uttlo jieoiile is a loveUor land than ours. Hut frtiin o'er thobileiit river comes to us a purer (,'lowâ€" I'urer oveu than the sunbuoixis lliat thu little people know ; And me hive-sung of tht; heavens Kt4)alB upun tho wearied ear. Sweeter than the angels' whispers that tho little l>e[,pl« hoar ; And the wanderer, overatrivou. houibled as a little cluld. Knows the past Is all forgiven, and his Gud is recuiiuilfd. When around nlB faltorini; {(Mtstops comes the blebbiug of tho duve. From the fairest world uf any, from the homo of peace aud love. GettluK the Urup uu ia ltur;;lur. A well known young man of this city, who will rocogni/.e himself as the hero of this thrilling tale, a few days ago shot and mortally wounded a large and expensive pier glaiis in his father's parlor. He came in very late (after an unsuccessful effort to unlock the front door with his umbrella) through an unfastened coal hole in the sidewalk. Coming to himself toward day- light ho found himself â€" spring overcoat. Bilk hat, " jag " and all â€" stretched out in tho bath-tub. With somo little difficulty he reached his room, aud was just about to light thu gas with his night key. when ho heard a suspicions sound on the lower floor. Convinced that it was burglars ho wended his somewhat tortuous way to a table uuar by and took from the drawer his loaded revolver. He made enough nuiue going downstairs to have announced his coming to a doaf man, bat finally reached the parlor door and crept through the doorway on all fours. In the middle uf thu room he rose to bis knees, then to his feet. A dark figure rose aimal- taneously in front of him. \a the young man raised his pistol thu morning twilight flabhed on a gleaming weapon in the hand of ihoother. "Uol'on, mic! m froii!" theyount^ man exclaimed. " I'vegiul got all' drub on you I" The pistols dashed simultaneonsly ; the house raug with a loud rei>ort, and a crash of glass followed it. When the startled family reached tho spot the brave scion of the boase of sat on the floor amid the dcbrit carefully examining him- self in seareh of wounds, while a smile of righf-ous triumph shone in his face. " I bic ! broughd 'm down I" ho mnrmured. When ho discovered that his deadly bullet had ubiiterated bis own reflection in the big parlor mirror bis triumph grew beautifully less, and hu then and there swore off, " for good aud all," he aays. â€" AUhxhij Joiirtial. Uas-Oathrrent of I'lu-lii, 'There are in Paris more than IIU.OUO people who make their living out of rag- gathering and burrowing in thu ash-bins uf the uity, and- many more who are dependent directly on the rag industry. They are urgaui/«d and knit togethur like any co- operative or industrial society, and are divided into two great claaseB of workers- diurnal and Qouturnal. L'bii nocturnal breed begin to ply their work at about 11 o'clock. They may be seen going from street to street carrying a huge basket on their back, and with a lantern in one baud and an iron hook called a crochet in thu other. They walk smartly along tho gutter, looking keenly about their feet, and now aud then pick up Bomothing with the crochet and pitch it into the hotto Six Yffarn Old aud Welffhs '-!.'((* I'uuudN. In Wayne County, Whito Creek post, oflico, on tho Big Sandv River, lives Joseph j or basket Davis, who has a daughter aged li vears 'i'bey stop at every dust-box, and, after who weighs •mo pound. 'This i > the largest I ransacking it to their heart's content, pro- child tor its ago known in tho world, is ', oeed on to the next. Tho waker and perfectly healthv, and as intelligent as the ' younger members of the fraternity work at average child. The parents are of average homo. The rag-gathers have regular beats ght, the mother weighing but I'iO and , on the streets tho father l-'!0 pounds. â€" ItUmtaCoiulilution. l*h>»iiuUiBy €»f ifc '* Hlaek Kyo." What produces a black eye is tho break- ing of two capillaries, or smaller blood When a chiffonier wishes to retire ho sella the good- will of his businesH to his successor before bo gives up his modal. Every master-chiffonier has a number of pickura attached to him. He pays them by vessels, causingan infiltration of bloo<l in piece-work. Tho daily earnings of the the tisBUea aroun.i the eye. When the blow oraft vary from 2r, to 40 cents.â€" yr)«(/i'<t ia first received the application of odd water | Comi>anion. will check any further flow, bat this should "*" â€" be quickly followed by the application of hot water, to cause absorption. Prl<:e for Fea<:e. Young lord of the houaohold -" I want s piece of cake." Caused by a Cow. j Mamma --â- â-  Not to-day, darling. This Cnvoi- Mkxk'i, Juno .J.- -A conatrnction cake is too rich for little boys." train dashed through a bridge near Tani pico yesterday, causing a torriblu loss of life. .Vs far as can be learned t-H persons wore killed and 11 injured. .V cow on the track derailed the train. Thundering feet, flying dishea, etc. Weary papa â€" " Well, well ! If it is pi CO or war, do give him the cako, and lot us have peace."- Detroit Free Press. Fell Into a Tub of ItullinK Logwood. A Proviilonce (K.I.) doapatch says: Wm. McCann, aged '25, and unmarried, fell head Srct into a tub of boiling logwooil at the Ituakhi Oil Courtship. John Uuskin, in his recent lecture at Oxford, declared that " tho whole meaning and power of true coi.'tship ia probation, and it ought not to bo shorter than throe Valley Worsted Mill, at Olnevville, yester- lay, anil was terribly acaldi.d. Ho was years at least, seven being the more or tho- do.\ time." Floral Tricks. According to a Tioy, T<. Y., florist, Porlo des. Jardin roses are often palmed off for Mareohal Niela, and not one bride in five taken to the Rhoile Island terrible agony. He will die. Hospital iu Mr. Itradley's Coiiiplaiiit. Last Saturday E. B. Bradley, teller of Got .nixed I'p. Beggar â€" Will you pk-sao give me a dime, air '.' I'm deaf and dumb. Gentlemanâ€" Deaf and dumb I Beguar - 1 mean I in blind. It'a ino twin brother who i-> deaf and dumb, air. We look so much alike th.it I get mixed up myself aometinies. â€" Troy I'rem. tho I'nion National Bank at Chicago,.com- hundred who is described aa wearing orange plained of toothache and obtained a leave blossoms is so fortunate as to have them. of absence in order to visit a dentist. When â€" ho failed to return and his accounts were An Indication of tiood Taato. found to bo falsified, it became evident that " Jack, can it bo that yon are going t-j Bradley's complaint was tooth in.â€" i'Vur- marry Miss Equilateral'?" " Yes, Tom, and wich Hullelin. if you say anything to disparage her " " Disparage hor ! Why, she proposed to mo, too, last leap-year." A Matriiiitrnial Keuilnlacenvo. Brown (of Chicago) â€"That fellow ia look- ing at you rathor hard. Do yon know him ? Mrs." Brownâ€" His face does look familiar. What's his name'.' Brown â€" Ooldplato, I believe. Mrs. Brownâ€" Oh, yes; I remember him now. Ho waa my first husband. â€" I-^ifi- Ex-SenatorTabor, of Colorado, waa using as a paper weight ths other d.v/ in hia private office a bar of gold which was! valued at $1'2,000 It had como from hia Vol- | ture Mine in Now Me.xioo, from which ho ] ia realizing another fortune. ' â€" Who aays that advertising doea not pay '! A Chicago burglar overlooked 880 ' in a bureau drawer, and thopaperti ao an- hoartv supper," says a medical anthority. Berry Miller, of Dade City, Fla, had a nounoed. He returned the ue:.i night and i^HoplH who are fond of hearty auppers hard tusalo with an immen.se alligator a not only secured it bub a auil of clothes should eat them in tho forenoon.â€" i(i)«(o» tow days ago and killed it. It weighed (iOO besides. | Coiiru-r. pounds and was fourteen feet in length.] Wife (club night)â€" " Will you bo home! -^â€" â€" â€" . When ho cut it open ho was surprised to early, John?" Husband â€" "Yo'es, I thiak | At a meeting of physicians in Chicago find within it another alligator six feet ao; but don't keep breakfaat waiting for work waa reoommendad as a remedy for long. I me." I norvoua prostration. Do Yon Value Your Health ? Never go to bed immediatoly after a

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