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'â- Â»(â-  li LATE SPORTING NOTES. What Leading Baseball Players and Olnbs are Doing. TUEF, EOWISG AND YAOHTDIG NEWS Baaeball. A meeting of the directors of the Bu£falo Baseball Club was hel<i yesterday after- noon, whoa the foUowinj^ officers were elected ; President, Frank T. Gilbert ; Vice-President, C. C. Candee , Secretary, John K. Kenney ; Treasurer, E. 8. Uann ; Executive Committee, Moses Shire, James Franklin and John E. K--:iuey. The extra $3,000 which was recently added to the capital stock of the club has nearly all been taken up, and by the directors. Mana(;er Chapman has about secured a first-class third baseman, whose name will be announced in a few days. The Boston Herald devotes tour columns of its space to the purchase of Kelly from Chicaj^o. It talks like this : Kelly, your " short cuts ' ' across the diamond are all foryiven. Wonder if the Detroit friends will call the Bostons the " bum ' club now. Boston's stock has taken a tremendous up- ward jump since yesterday morning. Pre- 8i^4 ut Spalding can take the money he received for Kelly, purchase the release of fk good outfielder, and have a few dollars left. It Wis a bij! price for a baseball luxury, but Boston hau to have it. Boston Is also able to pay for it. The other League clubs will not be asked to contribute one cent. The Boston plan is far superior to that of Detroit. The schedule meeting of the Interna- tional League will be held at Ilochester, on March 15tii. J. M. Becannon, of last year's Buffalo and BiHghamton clubs, has been engaged for the New York reserve team. The Ban Francisco press says that the new rules are a failure, after the game of Jan. '2Utb, in which the Louisvilles were defeated by a picked nine by 8 to 6. Mor- ris was punished for ten hits; and Foutz, who dUed the box for Louisville, was hit for fifteen base*. " Bobby " Caruthers, pitcher of the St. Louis Browns, has been ill for the past four weeks with pneumonia. He is uov/ much improved, and states that he is undecided as yet whether he will enter the diamond next season or not. H« has not signed with the Browns, as Van der Ahe has not made him any detiuite proposition, for he seems to be under the impression, since the club took the championship last year, that every member is going to demand an exorbitant salary for next season's work. Ue is accord- ingly very catious about making offers. There are WO baseball players now under contract, and many uf the clubs, as well as associations, are still incomplete. Proba- bly 1,000 players will draw a salary in 1887, and very lihely 1,500 people, directly or in- directly, will be supported by the game. Boston boa offeied 97, .300 for Ulosscock, of the St. Louis Maroeus. " Buck" Ewiug and "Kid" Baldwin, the ball players, were among lOo luckleas in- diviciaals who were boarded over night at public ex^jense at Cincinnati recently. They were caught at a cocking main. A number of gentlemen in Ottawa are talking of organizing a baseball team. They propose to import fuar or live players and make up the remainder of the team from W-al players. The Chicago Mail goes into poetry over the purchase of Kelly by Boston, as fol- lows: $ T'tin tbgusatid dull&rs, Kully tluor, « Has bouii Kent un to briuK you huru; # E-xcuau us if wo call yuit "ucur/' « Oh.iUamoP'lRoni, beyond oomiiaro, 9 N-o jewel ever half ho ran*. $ L-uok out, doar Mil<i', we humbly b«K, ^ Y-ou must not, uitist not brook a !ef{. .9 Monarch of playom, kindly list, ;9 I-uvite no chance to sprain a wrist, S K-nowiiiij you cost us iiiiKhty wealth, i E xptinsivu Miko, presorve your liealtli. A special meeting of the New Y-irk National Baseball League will be h«ld on Friday either in New York or Pittsburg to consider the claims of Indianopolis to be admitted into the League. Kelly will take a trip to Eiuopc with his wife before the ball season opeud. A. L. Richardson has si;;ned his name at the bottom of a con>tract of the Bradford Baseball Club, of the Pennsylvania State League, and will play short for that team. The Our. Oxford is reported to have a slight call in the betting on the 'Varsity race, to bo de- cided March 2<)th. Wm. Beach, the champion oarsman, is a great lover of the gamecock. Recently some birds of the old Devon fighting strain were shipped to him from Eng- land. Edward Uanlan is reported by some Harlem oarsmen as stating in a letter to 'a friend tliat be would make Qeorgo Lee sick of rowing before the coming season will end. Ho will do it, too. George will find that he will not get along as nicely as bo did when he liad Ilanlan for a partner. â€" Pittuburii Dinpatch, Bubear, who recently defeated Perkins on the Tyne coarse, is expected to visit America soon. WallaceRoss says he will row him for 91,000 a side and allow him to choose his distance. Hamni and Teenier have challenged Uoss and Lee to row a three-mile race for 9500 or 91,000 a side, giving the latter crew five seconds start. Tney will row Hanlau and mate for the same money on even terms. There appears to be a general desire among rowing men in Toronti^ that the next legatta of the Canadian Association of Amateur Oarsmen sliall bo hel<l in Toronto, and that special efforts shall be made to get up prizes of more than ordi- nary value, in honor of the year of Jubilee. There can be nodoubt that amateur rowing in those parts needs a boom. -Tonmlo Mail. Yachilnif. Mr. W. K. Vanderbilt's' million-dollar steam yacht Alva sailed from New York for Bermuda yesterday. The ocean yacht race between th6 Cor- onet, owned by R. T. Bush, and the Daunt- less, owned by C. II. Colt, will start from Owl's Head on March jth, at 1 p. m., pro- vided the Coronet can bo got ready in time. The finishing point is Kocho's Point, Cork harbor. The race is for 910,000 a side. The Turt. Tho Detroit (Mich.) Driving Club an- nounces that it will give a summer meeting on July I'Jth, •20th,2l3tand'22nd, 1887, and offers 925,000 in prizes. Maud S. will not be sent to beat her re- cng|, unless some other horse approaches dangerously near it. Mr. Bonner says she (!an trot in 2.0C easily. He says, although tho record may be lowered in time, he does not believe that the two-minute mark will over be reached. Mr. Joseph Barker, who bought Maud S. when she was only 4 years old for the late Wm. H. Vanderbilt, has just offered Mr. Bonner, on bohiUf of a gentleman of large wealth, 9100,000 in cash for the Queen. Mr. Bonner paid Mr. Vanderbilt 940,900 for Maud S. ; but sho was lame the day she was delivered at Mr. Bonner's stable. Mr. B., however, shod her so as to relieve her of her lameness, and since then she has twice beaten her record, having lowered it to 2.0Hi. Now he is offered 9100,000 for the peerless aiare, so that he would make StiO.OOO profit if he should dispose of her â€" a pretty large sum for shooing a horse. But Mr. Bonner refuses to sell Maud S. at any price.â€" 7'ur/, Field and Farm. The King. Articles have been signed here for a six- round fight between Harry Gilmore, of Toronto, and Billy Hawkins, of Ottawa, to come off within a week. It is understood that the contest will be private. .Skating: Contest. Frank Dowd, of Montreal, and H. J. MoCormack, of St. John, N. B., met to- night in Crystal Rink, Montreal, in the second of the series of three races, tho distance being 10 miles. The race was close all through and was won by Dowd in 37 mins. 30 sees. McCormack was 10 yards behind. Curling. The second draws in the dnal competition for the Ontario tankard was played in Toronto Thursday afternoon, the compet- ing clubs being Paris, Orillia. St. Marys and the Toronto Caledonians. A great deal oi interest was shown by tho Toronto and visiting curlers and the Granite Biuk was well tilled with spectators. Paris defeated Orillia by 24 points, tho score being 50 to 26, and St. Marys defeated the Toronto Caledonians by 3 points, the score being 37 to :U. Paris and St. Marys played off last night and Paris won the Ontario championship, which the tankard repre- sents, by three points, the score being : I'AitlS. ST. MAJIYS. Rink !:o. 1. J. Maxwell, .J. D. Moore, C. E. .\dauiH, ('. Myers, .1. C'raiuiu, jun., VV. Souiervillu. M. L'avau, skip 25 W. .\udrowH, skip 19 lUuk No. 2. JanieH .Adams, J. M. Weir, J, OSeil, G. Mclntyre, J. H. .-Vckland, <i. (iraut, J. Brockbuuk, Bkip,...lG S. Spartiiig, skip 19 41 :iH Tho trophy was first played for in 1875, and has been held since that time as fol- lows : 1875, Hamilton Thistles; 1870, Toronto ; 1877, Toronto ; 1878, Hamilton Thistles; 187"J, Bowmanville; 1880, Port Hope; 1881, Hamilton Thistles, 1882, Toronto Caledonians ; 1883, Brampton ; 1884, St. Marys; 1885, OrUlia ; 188U, Toronto Granites; 1887, Paris. Two rinks of the Thistle Curling Club defeated two of the Caledonians in a match for the Gibson me<lal Thursday by 10 points, Mr. \V. Vallance's rink winning from Mr. McPhie's by 5 points and Mr. .J Simpson's defeating Mr. W. G. Beid's by 14 l)oints. A Singular Cuiacidenoe. -Writing to th« CKica^co Trifmnc^ A. P Paul calls attention to the similarity be- tween the " Tit-willow" song in Gilbert & Sullivan H " Mikado" and the song by Deitdemona in " Othello," act 4, sc. 3. : JJi'-aiienuma <f-iin(iuKJ~Tho poor soul sat Mijilv \nt> by a sycamore tree, KiiiK all a fjruen willow ; Her hand on her bosom, ber lioad on tier knee, SiuK willow, willow, willow. The froHh streaiiin ran by her and murmured her inoaiiH, SiuK willow, willow, willow; Her salt tears fell front bur and Hoftened ttie HtoneH, Lay by these : <H)t>t!iuf^) Sing willow, willow, willow ; I'rith,'" Lie thee, he'll comu anon, Si ..'n«.F.iuualla(ireen willow unist bo my Karland. Lot nobody Uamo him ; his scorn I approveâ€" Nay, that's not next. Hark! Who is't that knocks? Mr. Paul asks whether the similarity is coincidence or intentional. Possibly Mr. Gilbert, if directly approached on the subject, would answer in the style of tho French author accused of literary larceny, " Je prcnds mon bivn oiijc Ic trouve." An Eye to Business. " Can you send tho patrol waggon up to 694 Blank street?" in({uiredavoice through the police telephone the other day. " Whofs the matter 1" " Some one tapped the till of my grocery of 30 cents." " Are you holding him ?" " No ; ho has been gone half an hour." " Then wliat good will the waggon do?" " Well, it will getouta crowdaud look like business, won't it ? I sell for cash, and my prices are lower than ever before." AppoarHnces Against Her. Old Lady (suffering from hiccoughs, to drug clerk)â€" Youngâ€" man, I want to â€" get some li(|Uor Clerk (hastily) â€" Can't do it, madam. You've had enough alrea Old Lady (frigidly) â€" Some liquorice. .Seeking Inspiration. Young man (in drug store) â€" I want to get a few grains of cocaine and a hypodermic syringo. Clerk â€" Are you a physician ? Young man â€" No, sir ; I'm a (>oet.--,Vei<j York Sini. The Queen's authority has been extended over Eastern Zululand with the aseent of tho Zulus. The Ameer of Afghanistan reports that a Rnssian advance is threatened between Kunclung and Bolekh. Tho managers of two Scotch collieries have arranged a compromise with the striking miners, and others will probably follow their example. At a large meeting of the ladies of the South of Irelond, held at Cork yesterday, it was decided to present a Jubilee memorial to the Queen. Yesterday having been the 70th anniver- sary of the birth of King William, the inhabitants of Holland made a holiday of it. Early in the morning the people of The Hague presented His Majesty with a casket, an address and a Bible. The day wai celebrated with great enthusiasm. A WONDEKFL'I. DISCOV£KV. Edison's Latest Inventton Puts All Pre- vious Ones in the Shatleâ€" .\ Story That Reads Well Even If it Isn't True. A writer in the Washington Pout gives an account of a recent interview of a most re- markable character with Edison, tho in- ventor. In this interview Edison is made to describe a new machine which he calls the nutricator. This pachine, tho writer says, has accomplis' .the problem of com- bining the natural el** *its so as to manu- facture wholesome .8 a ^ Edison is made to say in this inti g^j, ^ " In ten years my machines will bi ,3 to provide the tables of the civilizec.''fv<tyld. Meat will be no longer killed and vegetables no longer grown, except by savages, for my metliods will be so much cheoper. " Mr. Edison then exhibited samples of food which he said he had made from dirt in his cellar and from water taken from the water pipes in the house. Tho writer says : He led me down a pair uf stairs into a light basement room, where a swarthy- looking man was busy iirhout a big machine, an iron vessel, holding about a barrel, attached to something that looked like a hydraulic ram. The shelves were lined with chemicals. Therowasa smo'. battery in the corner from which one wire went to the vat. A kerosene lamp burned under a sort of retort. That and four crooked pipes with handles were all that was visible. " How is it now ?" said Edison, " About 53," replied the man. That was all. Wo returned to tho room above. " I shall simplify that machine one-lialf," ho remarked. " Yet with that I can turn out at least five tons of food of various kinds every day. I have already made eighteen kinds of food. I will tell you something if you will not say a wonl till I say ' go ahead.' All food comes, of course, pri- marily from the earth. The plants and fruits wo eat oome from the moist ground, and the animals we eat live on the plants, or on other animals which the plants have kept alive. So all food cymes from tlie ele- ments stored in the earth, air and water. You eat a grain of wheat, for instance. Tho wheat is mainly composeci of a few simple gases and salts that last year were lying dormant in tho earth, the air and tho water. " It occurred to me that this process might be hastened ; that instead of wait- ing a year for nature to collect those ele- ments into an organic seed 1 could collect them in an hour, or perhaps a few minutes, and arrive at the same result by combin- ing them organically. This I have done. I first find out what a particular kind of food is made of. There are sixty-fivo simple elements in nature ; that is, sub- stances which we call simple elements, because wo have not yet succeeded in prov- ing them to be comi>ound. I am afraid your readers will not generally understand what I am going to say. If you use it be caroful to take it down verbatim. " There are si.\ty-livo elements. Car- boo is the king of these. It is the great organizer. It is never absent from any plant or animal organism. It is at the base of almost everything. It is the key to my discovery, for it possesses tho pecu- liar capacity to form molecules from its own atoms. Tho diamood is rire carbon, so are graphite and charcoal nearly pure carbon, though they are so different. Sugar and starch belong to tlie hydrocar- bons, and I cannot understand why their nuuiu|jwEtur# oiik vi wu^jil^x^Vwatei' hatfu't been hit on before. I form dll my meat compounds by exposing three elements in a red hot state to nitrogen gas, though I use different flavors, which 1 get frem tho earth too. 1 have had to bring from West- chester county some argillaceous soil not found here. " I can make a wine, and havo made it, with Now Jersey earth and water that no man can tell from Chateau Y(iuem. I find that those elements combine at the lowest tein()orature that have the same atomicity â€" that is, tho same bonds by which they unite with one another, or with compound molecules. 'I'his great invention has not been ' hit on ' before, because analytic chemistry has receiveii too much I'ttontion to tho exclusion of synthetic chemistry ; men have been mora devoted to learning than to doing. Lavoisier was just on tho edge of it and missed. Sir Humphrey Davy, Liebig and I'araday were all in sight of it and suddenly turned aside. Thoy suc- ceeded in iiioking urea out of the elements and several other inorganic substances, but thoy stopped at that. They overlooked the simplicity of this thing. " I think that after two or three years New Yorkers, for instance, will no longer eat meat or vegetables. They will not send to tho tropics for fruits, or to Europe for wines, because the hood of every family, by turning a crank (or, perhaps, with' it turn- ing a crank, if a clock apparai'-s is at- tached), can produce more delicious fruits and wines at a tenth of tho oost. " Sir Issao Newton said: 'The proper- ties of all food are in tho dirt imder our feet and in tlie air over our heads â€" but tliey ehado our grasp.' I was led on by Dalton's great discovery of the law of rmUtipIo pro- portions, that tho atomic weight of com- pounds is tho same as the' atomic weight of their ingredients. I was helped also by the well-known law of ismorphism, that cer- tain groups of substances exist, any mem- ber of which can be repkicod by any other member in equivalent proportions with- out changing the crystalline character of the matter. " Tho extraordinary analogy between homologous groups of organic compounds and certain small groups of the elements, as chlorine, bromine, and iodine have been remarked by many chemists. Not only isolateil triads, but all tlic elements, may be brought into such luiniologous series ex- pressed by the general (onnula of AxNb. However, this is beyond tliu average reader, and will hardly be intelligible. " No change of food m contemplated. Every man can have food of tho kind to which he is accustomed, or which ho pre- fers. It will bo as easy to produce cabbapes as oranges, and pork as partridges. Wo shall actually produce those very things, but in a new form. It will be cabbages and oranges that have never felt tho wiixl and rain, and pork and partridges that havo never boon alive. We merely take a short out and snatch tho food from the earth without giving it the trouble of growing. It will lack fibre, which is the only percepti- ble difference. " The equivalent value of an element is now measured by the number of atoms of a monatomic or equivalent element with which it will combine. It is known, for instance, that chloride combines with one atom of hydrogen, oxygen with two, nitro- gen with three, carbon with four, and ko on, I have struck some astonishing exam- ples of allatrophism â€" that is, tho pro- duction of entirely dissimilar compounds from nearly .similar elements. Nature is full of sui prises. For instance, I make bananas and chocolate out of the very same ingredients, and the methotis of combining differ only a trifle." .V NEW OCEAN LINE. 8t«ani«rH, which arc to;Carry no Freight, Cross Ihu Oeeaii in Less tliuii Five Days, The despatch from Washington pub- lished yesterday stating that the Arrow Steamship and ShipbuiUling Co. of Now York had purchased the marine railroad and shipyard at Ale.\andria, Va., was con- firmed at tho otlice of tho company. Ho. 115 Broadway. Robt. y^. ErYSgp chief engineer of the line, »"fiii^:> '"'^We will begin work at (mce to build tho ways for our first steamship, the Pocahontas ; but there are to be no extensive shops built there. Our frames, which aro simply the buiklieads, and all uf tho plates will bo prepared at tho works where we are having them made. The ccmpletiou of this vessel, and others to follow, will mark an era of revolution in the transatlantic trade, since thoy are to he constructed upon a new principle and with an estimated 3pee<l to make the voyage from New York to Liverpool in a little more than four days. We will not carry any freight excepting, possibly, a few express packages, but tho vessels are designed for passenger traffic alone." It is said that twelve such vessels are to be built, each to bear a historic Indian name. Tho models and drawings at tho office of tho campany present a unique and promising appear- ance, but other people are not so sanguine of tho success of tho company and tho practicability of tho vessels as arethodirec- tors. Mr. Fryer believes that he has solved tho problem of swift and safe ocean naviga- tion in this creation of his, as the vessel is solely his invention. Tho Pocahontas is to be an iron and steel ship, and instead of being built on lateral lines, as has always been the custom, she will bo built upon sixty- eight transverse steel walls or bulkheads, seven and a half feet apart, each of tlie full size ami accurate shape of a cross section of tho vessel. These walls will liave open- ings cut in them for tho saloons, passage- ways, tunnels, etc., with vertical lungitu dinal walls through them, tlius malting l.OtiO water-tight compartments, of whicii 000 are to be below the water-linu. She will bo provided with comixjuiid engines of 27,'.l8(i horse- |)ower, capable of giving a spewl of twenty-two knots an liour. There will be twenty boilers to furnisli steam for the main engines, placed fore and aft of the vessel, with three smoke- pipes on each side of tho ship next to the rail. What effect heavy seas will have on smoke-pipes thus arranged remains to bo seen. Her di- mensions are to be 540 feet in length, 40 feet beam and draught of water 'li>\ feet. â€" .Vt'io Yiirh Iriliune. lU'ggared by Her Devotion to CatM. .\ll mankind has heard of the Countess do La Torre, of London, who is crazy on the subject of cats. She has a whole string of cats following her wherever sho goes and her house is occupied by cats from ijiarret to cellar. It has novor yet been definitely settled just how many cats the countess iloes poss<>Hs. Sho sometimes goes to visit lier friends, ami is invariably accompanied by a feline coterie. Her for tune has been exhausted in various freaks of disordered fancy, and shu is now almost a beggar. Sho went last week to visit a lady at Hammersmith, and, as sho took a whole tribe of cats with her, sho became such an intolerable nuisance that her hos- tess, after many hints in %aui to got licr away, in a fit oi despair went to Police Jus- tice Paget, of the district, and made a com- plaint. Her case was up yesterday, and among the 4(nesti(ms propounded by the justice in his monotonous impiiry was: " How many cats had tho countess with her? " Tho complainant did not know, but the insi>octor of nuisances declared that ho had come along tho day before and removed twelve. Mr. .lustico Paget said that ho had heard of tho countess before. Ho expressed great sympathy for tho com- plainant, but said that the only way for her to get rid of her troublesome guest anil her cats, since thoy had como into her house by invitation, was to put them out by force, if thoy would not go by moral suasion. The lady returned homo and had tho countess and the remnant of her visiting contingent of cats ejected. â€" Cor. Sew York World. KKW.*RR OF "WIDDKKSl" .\iuiiMiiig: and Sueeestifui ISreufUof I'romiSe Salt AKalwit u Widower. Mr. Henry Platts, uullory inanufacturer, of the Bridge Street Woilis, Slu t) .'d, wau sued for damages for bi<'acli of pronuHc of marriage by Mrs. Aim Smith, a widow, of Broomliall street, S.'ieffield, bijfore Mi;. Justice Cave, at the 'I'orkshin .VsHizos, at Leeds, on Saturday week. IMr. Barker appeared for the plaintiff and .vlr. Ellison for the defendant. The defendant, a widower, agi-d IJ5 years, became ac<|uainted with the plaintili', pro- posed and was accepted. The defendant presented the plaintiff with a watch and chain, for which ho gave £20, often took her out of town, and September llth, 1885, was .the date fixed for tho wedding. Witliinafew days of tho 14th tho defendant , for some unexplained reason, asked for the poat- jKnioment of the wedding, ami tlio date was altered. Next tho defendant told the plaintiff that his daughter had Icff him. and that he should be glad if kIuj would como and look after his house, and shu did so for three weeks, during whicli time the defendant told her that liis lutti wife did more work than she, and that he did nut believe in having many servants. Finally the defendant refused to rarry out liis promise ; tho plaintiff left his lioiise, re- turned his presents, and eventually claimed £500 damages through a solicitor. The plaintiff said sho never told tho defendaiit that he would liave to allow more for household ex{)enditure. The defendant never told her he was willing to marry her but not her three sons. Mr. Ellison â€" Now, are you very fond of this old gentleman ? Plaintiffâ€" Yes. (Laughter.) Why did you leave him ? Because he refused to marry nie. Mr. Henry Platts, the defendant, greatly amused the court by the way in whiili ho told his story. Ho said : I was in Fargato when tho plaintiff first looked at iiio. 1 si)oke, and found it was not tlio [<erson 1 thought it was. Tho plaintiff said, 'Oh, it's all right, " and we walked on together and told one another our names. .V while afterwards I was conversing with a ;;entle- man in a saleroom, and the plaintiff cama up and said, " How do you do, Mr. Platts?" I answered, " You have the advantage of me;" and she rejoined, " Ii's Mrs. Smith." " Oh, ' said 1, " I beg your pariiun. How are yon?" We saw each other several times after that. In tho middle of last Kebruary she told mo she had been to my factory to wish mo a hapjiy new year (laughter). She asked me to tea, but I said, " Tea-drinking is not much in my way." His Lordship- -Was this un tho 14Ui of February. Defendant^ â€" No, sir â€" (laughter.) How- ever, 1 went to her daughter s to tea. My daughter left nie m a " huff, " and 1 said to the plaintiff, "Come and look after my house, will you, and we'll put up the banns." She came ami stayed three weeks, and the banns were "called over" on tho 2iltll of August. I told the plaintiff I waa not satisfied with the way in which shehud " distinguished " herself as a housekirptfr. Ono morning she " blockaded the iloor," and said, " Have you as much love for me as you had ? " and 1 answered. "Never mind love ; let me goto business ' (laugh- ter.) She refnseil to let me (^o. iiml 1 a<lded, •' Love is a jKior thing to live on." ftattro going to busiueM 1 told her I was willing to marry her, but not lier three sons. That day she left my house and did not return. Sho afterwards sought ma up again, and I stuck to niy resolution - (laughter.) Mr. Barker. -You were very much at- tach'jd to this lady were you ' I cannot say that she broke my heart by leavinc me â€" (laughter). Did yoi; uuy her a new bonnet ? " No, sho was showing mo one, and 1 said, Here's half u sovereign towards tho ex- penses ' (laughter). Did you not differ aliout oneof lior sons ? Yob, one of them slept with ine, and I said to him, "You do annoy nio with snoring ' -(laughter). Next day his mother said, " You have grieved my boy, he has been brought up tender " (laughter). I replied, " If ho never gets anything worse than that to grieve him ho will get through jiretty well. " Ho was a boy of four ami twenty (laughter). Tho jury returned a verdict for the plain- tiff, damages t'VO, including £20 paitl into court. .\ KlHS That .Scared a Ulrl Sick. A young woman has asked the Magiiitrato at Wadswortli for u summons against a man for kissing her five weeks ago. Sho said she had not come sooner because sho had been ill. The Magistrate thought a kiss would not cayse illness, but tho appli- cant replied that the fright had made lier ill. She was advised to bring an action against her assailant in tho County Court. â€"Pall Mall (uuctle. All I.lttin FellowK. Tho wisdom of a man is but a small thing after all. What does he know ? He can't tell why it was that ho was created Ho can't tell why blood circulates and keeps up life. Ho can't tell why it is that he can move his limbs when ho wishes to walk, or to reiu'li forth to grasp an object. He can't tell why he has a voice and can talk. In fact, has so little knowledge that it scarcely amounts toanything.â€" AViH/mimfrej-. ) fiiiii _J ^. . . .V yomig woman of Norfolk, Va., who was becoming blind from cataract, took the advice of an old negro woman, put a drop of molasses in each eye every day and was completely cured. So says tho Norfolk [.andiiuirk. â€" In tho first place â€" the latest baby. When is a kiss like rumor? â€" When it goes from mouth to inoutli. ,V C'hicago drummer tolls of a merchant ill Walnut, 111., who, being prosperous and 3, heavy buyer, is well treated by tho com niercial travellers, and has many a cigar offered to him. Ho always takos tho cigar, says : " It's against my principles to smoke in business hours ; I'll light this after supper," and when ho gets a himdred puts them in a box and sqIIs them t« a train boy on the Burlington Road for half price. The SneeslnK spot. .\s ii .liuiniid representative sat in the chair of a Maiden Lane barber the other day, the^eniul artist of the brush observed that the joiinialiiit sneezed when his hair was combed. ' Diil I touch tho sneezing spot?" inquired the barber. Ha then proceeded to explain that the " sneezing spot " was a sensitive plaio to tho left of the middle of the forehead. â-  Why,'' said he, " there are men who oonie in here who sneeze regularly every time I comb their hair or shave them just as soon as the-comb passes over that spot. 1 had a man in hero yester- day who sneezed three times just as hard as ho could, all because 1 touched tlio ' snooz- ing si>ot.' It must bo a very small nerve- that tickles the nostrils." â€" .Itbanij .loiirnal. His Sister UitI >'»t Know Hi m. Maud- I am astonished at you, Irene, for saying that Henry is awkward and bashful. Irene- 1 ought to know, I think. I'm his own sister. Ho hat 5S to go out into society. He never knows what to <lo with his hands. Maud â€" You are mistaken, Irene. In that respect ho is ono of tliQ. most accomplished young men I over wont sleigh-riding with. â€" Cliitaifo TribiiHt. Sir Charles Dilko's forthcoming article in continuation of tho series begun in the Fortnightly Urvi,wvii\\ boon Russio. That country he knows thoroughly, having travelled nearly from end to end of it during a number of successive visits. Ho knows, also, much of its tortuous diplomacy and diplinnatists. A mooting was held in Paris yesterday to o.xpress indignation against the proposed increase in the corn tax. When M. Rouvier attempted to spoak ho was received with a storm of yollr and imprecations, tho uproar lasting fifteen minutes. MM. Guizot and Pelletan spoke against increasing tho tax. A protoctionist was hooted down. *â-  *^-~«^