The South Marysburgh Mirror Druella Acantha Malvina's Column Gem for the month: Entrance doors to trouble are many and wide - the exits are few and narrow. 7 A real estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spo(cid:425)ed a charming li(cid:425)le farmhouse with a hand-le(cid:425)ered "For Sale" sign out front. A(cid:332)er briskly introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, the agent cruised from room to room, opening closets and cupboards, tes(cid:415)ng faucets, and poin(cid:415)ng out where a "new light here and a li(cid:425)le paint there," would help. Pleased with her asser(cid:415)veness, the woman was hopeful that the owner would offer her the lis(cid:415)ng. "Ma'am", the man said, "I appreciate the home improvement (cid:415)ps and all, but I think you read my sign wrong. It says, 'Horse' for sale." Exit Lines: Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. Never miss a good chance to shut up. Whether a man winds up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on a lot on the kind of chick he married. Nelson Notes… Anecdotes and background about Nelson's diary en- tries. By 1901 the "Barley Days" were a distant memory and the canning industry had blossomed as a cri(cid:415)cal source of income for county farmers. The magnitude of this for Nelson Hicks is seen in the hard work and the worry of the tomato patch throughout September. Nelson's crop goes to Bloomfield and Boulters for canning. Wellington Boulter was a visionary for social and business ini(cid:415)a(cid:415)ves in the county. He founded the first cannery here in 1882. He was born in Demorestville and was one of 20 siblings helping on the farm. He be- came a very successful entrepreneur, introducing canned produce to Europe, Africa, China and Australia; Boulter's "Lion" canned goods won gold medals at expo- si(cid:415)ons in Paris, Glasgow and Chicago. Nelson's tomatoes very probably travelled even further than those of Vicki, his descendant, now follow- ing in his tomato footsteps! Did you know? (I can't prove these are true facts.) A snake can have up to 300 pairs of ribs. A shark can detect a drop of blood 200 metres away. Just before someone is struck by lightning, his or her hair will stand on end. If you flew to New York from London on the Concorde, you arrived two hours before you le(cid:332). Li(cid:425)le Johnny quickly answered, "Because people are A Sunday school teacher asked the children, just before she dismissed them to go back to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" sleeping." A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide. On the third day, the hikers no(cid:415)ced they had been travelling in circles. "We're lost!" one of the men complained. "I thought you said you are the best guide in the United States?" have wandered into Canada." Defini(cid:415)ons received from kids: Asked to define H20 and C02: H20 is hot water. C02 "I am," the guide answered, "but I think we may is cold water. A spinal column is a bunch of long bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bo(cid:425)om. One by-product of raising ca(cid:425)le is calves. The word 'trousers' is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bo(cid:425)om. Syntax is all the money collected at church by the sinners. A musical director wasn't happy with the performance of one of the percussionists. Repeated a(cid:425)empts to get the drummer to improve failed. Finally, in front of all the performers, the director said in frustra(cid:415)on, "When a musician can't handle his instrument, they take it away, give him two s(cid:415)cks and make him a drummer." A stage whisper was heard from the percussion sec(cid:415)on, "And if he can't handle that, they take away one of the s(cid:415)cks and make him a conductor." A(cid:332)er church, li(cid:425)le Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd you get him?" Johnny." him out." Li(cid:425)le Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw His mother replied, "He came from heaven, www.southmarysburghmirror.com