3 OPINION LEARN DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO HELP EVERYONE ALL THE TIME, WRITES MCGREGOR "Just say no" - an expres- sion that began decades ago with an anti-drug cam- paign. But how does it ap- ply outside of that realm? Is it really that easy to just say no in everyday life? Imagine that a friend has asked you to help him move, but you're not able to. Even though you want and need to say no, it can be difficult for a number of reasons. We may be afraid of disappointing him, think that he will see us as a bad friend, or wonder if he may argue with or challenge us. It may seem like just saying ves would be easier, but there are consequences to saying yes when we real- ly want to say no. We may overcommit ourselves and feel overwhelmed, distract- ed or exhausted, or we may resent the situation or even our friend. We only have so much time and energy to give and need to make careful choic- es about what we do with it, and that means saying no to things that we are un- willing or unable to take on for the sake of our own self- care. Financial solutions are MELANIE MCGREGOR Column --------- --- Start with giving your- self permission to say no - it doesn't mean that you are selfish, uncaring or cold. It means that you are setting limits that are so impor- tant to our balance. Following are some ide- as of how we can say ho sensitively, confidently and without apology: "I would like to help, but I can't." Don't feel the need to tell a detailed story about why you are saying no, whether it's true or not - you may weaken your mes- sage or get caught in a lie. It's better to keep it simple and concise. "Unfortunately, that won't work for me." Again, no need to give more de- tails, but we could add something simple like "I al- ready have plans." Usually when we feel the need to overexplain, it's because we want to prevent hurt feelings for the other per- son, but we can do that with a pleasant and genu- ine response rather than a long justification. . "I'm going to say no be- cause I'm feeling over- whelmed lately." than being concerned only about the other person's feelings, talk about yours. Honesty goes a long way in around the corner. Suite 217 www.edwardjones.com Brett J) Strano, CFP®, FMA, CIWM Financial Advisor : 330 Bronte Street South Milton, ON LOT 7X1 905 864-9969 Rather TO JUST SAY NO' a gentle no. . "No, but 1 appreciate 4 YOU asking. What about .. Suggesting an alternative or another support will let you stick to your response and still show care for the asker. Just don't pass the buck by suggesting some- one else solely to take the focus off you. ."I can't right now." This is a good one to say no a bit more softly if you may con- sider saying yes in the fu- ture. But, don't use it if your "no" is for good - you will just set yourself up to have to say no again. Add to these some warmth, genuineness and even a smile and you've got a great start to saying "yes" to saying "no." Melanie McGregor is the communications and advancement specialist at the Canadian Mental Health Association Halton Region Branch, which provides mental health/ addiction community Sup- port and education. Visit www. halton.cmha.ca for more information and follow @cmhahalton on Twitter: SIGN UP FOR OUR WEEKLY NEWSLETTER AT INSIDEHALTON.COM Carlee MacQueen Financial Advisor 310 Main Street East Suite 103 Milton, ON LOT 1P4 905-864 6959 Edward Jones MAKING SENSE OF INVESTING A a ea Ba aa CHAMPION TRACKS llona Cordes photo Three-year-old Rachel Cordes stands in front of the fountain in the Stadt during her trip to Warendorf, Germany. Going on vacation? Be sure to pack a copy of your Metroland Halton newspaper and send us a photo with it to sleblanc@metroland.com. Please include destination information and everyone's name left to right. RIDAY PRICING NOW! BADBOY.CA! LEADS THE WAY! (ONE ARY BLACK FRIDAY PRICING NOW! ALSO AVAILABLE 65° #117003 688 58" 4K SMART #121495 - 3HOMI : 60Hz JG 2 Aah 6102 'PL JaquanoN 'Aepsiny| | uoidwey) ueipeued uo 6 » Woo UOHEYSPISUI