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m «:34 The Man from Tom’s River -â€"-â€"-â€" ’WHO DIDN’T PROPOSE TO ALLOW ENEMY TO LAND ON HIS COAST. AN You may have seen something in the papers abont the coast defences. The idea has somehow got abroad that our coasts ought to be lined with forts and guns as a warning to Europe against declaring war against us some morning before breakfast. Engineers have sur- veyed and reported, and congressional committees have sat and reported, and for about $80,000,000 we can get things in such shape that when the enemy’s first ironclad heaves in-sight she can be saluted in proper style. A lot of us were sitting in the depot, waiting room at Trenton, and the only man who had a newspaper was reading away for dear life, when a stranger entered with two satchels and a tall girl, Ichucked the baggage under a seat, waved the girl to another, and walked up to the man with the newspaper and asked : “ Mister, is there anything in the paper about our coast defenses ? ” “ No, sir,” was the grufi' reply. “ That’s singular. Have they given up the idea, do you think? ” “ I don't know what you mean, sir.” “ You don’t! Why, they've been talking for the last year about building forts to protect our coasts. I live down near the mouth of Tom's river, and I rather expect they’ll build a big fort there. The way things are now Eng- land, France or Germany could declare war against us and land a force at Tom’s mitted suicide. a‘ivcr before we had our eyes open. Tbr y’d land right on my farm,_and no- body knows the damage they’d do. Don’t see anything about a fort at "Tom's river, eh ? ” “ No, sir." “ Well, that’s singular. If this gov- ernment expects me to get down behind ~11 rock with my old shotgun and keep Europe from landing at that point ir’s expecting a leetle too much ofone man. I’d fiuht‘to the death. of course. butthe chances are that a' hull navy could lick one nigh-sighted man. So the paper don’t say anything ? ” “Didn’t I tell you no in the first :place ? ” . “ Say! mebbe you don’t keer a_cop- *per about coast defences ! " exclaimed the two-satchel man, as a red spot ap- peared on either cheek. “ Not a copper, sir i ” “ I thought so from the start. You The out in Michigan or Indiana or Illi- nois, and are tucked away in some holler where the sherifi can't find yc, let alone an invader of our sacred'sile ‘2 “Uh, no, you don’t keer l ” “Father 1 ” chided the girl as she Ihalf rose; but he turned on her with : “ Mary, you keep shetl I’ve allus “thought if Europe declared war agin’ us we'd have plenty of enemies right at home, and here's a case to prove it! Stranger, did you fight in the last war ?" “ None of yOur business, sir l ” “ There’s his open hand,gcntlemen said the two-satchel man as he turned to the crowd. “When you find a man who don’t keer how soon the hull of Europe jumps on this country you have found a man who’d dig up the bones of Washington and sell ’em to a junk man for $5 ! " The man with the newspaper laid it down, got on his feet and asked the other if he would step out doors for a minute. “ No, sir, I won’t l ” was the prompt reply. “ In the fust place, I’ve got these two satchels to purtect; in the second place, there's Mary; in the third place,I don't fight with no manwho didn’t 1fight in the last war. In the inst place, I asked ye if there was anything in the paper about our coast defences.” “And I said no, you idiot! ” “ And you said you didn’t keer “ Neither do I.” “ There‘s his hand agin, gentlemen !” 'While I’m lying behind a rock at Tom’s river, waiting to sell my life in defence of my country, here’s a feller from (icon Holler, State of Indiana, who don’t keer a cooper’s copper how quick Europe kivers New Jersey with the blood of our bravest men . " - “ Fat-her ! ” chided \lary again. “ You let me alone, Mary l You know all about carpet rags, and housework, and darning, but you reVer heard the rumble of war. If Europe is goin’ to jump onto this country I want to know who’s goin’ to shoot. rue in the back as I face the enemy.” The man with the newspaper opened it and sat down with a dangerous glitter in his eyes, and there was a solemn silence for a few minutes. Then the Tom's river man edged over to Mary and they slid out together. Then he beckoned through the open window to three or four of us, and as we went out be surrounded us and whispered : “ Gentlemen, it’s my solemn opinion that that feller is a jannisary from Eur. 0pc who has come over here to coax Uncle Sam not to put up any coast de~ feuse. I want to say right here, and I want you to hear it and remember it, that if the enemy lands at Tom's river 1’ ! '1! W The Instinct of Self-Preservation. _â€" “I never realized the strength of the instinct of sell-preservation in man,” said John F. Thompson, “until I wit- nessed a test at it on a steamboat. Among the passengers was a man who had a black rattlesnake «in a box with a glass top. The snake was a very vicious one, and would strike the glass when- ever anyone a,pproachcd. The owner of the reptile challenged any one in the crowd to hold his finger on the glass and let the snake strike at it. There could not be any danger, and there was not a. man who did not think it an easy thing to do. One big fellow, who look- ed as if he never knew what nerves were, tried it first, and, after repeated attempts, gave ‘i't'np. 'Then every pas- senger in the boat attempted it, and, failure followed in each case. It. simply could not be done. Instinct was strong- er than reason ‘and will power combined. . “I witnessed another illustration of this in Paris. A young man had lost- his last son at a gambling table. Not. only was be without means, but he had lost a large sum belonging to his employ- er. He started for the Seine to drown himself. On the way there was a great, commotion, caused by the escape ofa tiger from :a strolling menagerie. The animal came doWn ‘thestreetand people fled in every direction. Instantly the man who was seeking death climbed a lamp post and hung on to the top of it, trembling in every muscle. When the animal was captured and the danger was over he went to the river and com- I was interested in the account of the suicide, and, prompted by curiosity, went to see the body, in- stantly recognizing it as that of the young man whom I had seen make so frantic an efi'ort to escape death, evi- dently but a few minutes before he sought it, and at the very time that he was seeking an opportunity to end ibis existence."â€"St. Louis Globe-Democrat. .-.- Heart Disease and Longevity. Let those who are haunted .with sus- picions of heart disease, and even those who have good reason to know that they i are suffering, take courage from a story told by the late Sir Andrew Clark in the course of his clinical lecture at the London Hospital. tion in the “ prognosis,” or forecast, of the progress of this disease, Sir Andrew went on to relate an anecdote ofa house governor of that very hospitalâ€"~11 clei‘g - man who was about to be married: His intended father-in-law came to him and said: “You see, you have no money, sir; you must go and get your life insured.” At the end of the medical examination the physicians said to him, “We cannot accept you.” “ Why ”? said the astonished house governor. “ Oh, we would rather not say." “ But,” he said, “I have never been ill in my life ” (and indeed he wasa sturdy fellow.) “Well,” said the physicians, “if you will have it, you gave got heart disease.” “ Heart disease? How long shall I live? Shall I live six months ?" “ Oh,” replied the medical men, “ you may do that.” He went home, and the match was broken off. He wrote to the committee saying that, as he had a mortal disease of the heart and could not live for six months, he withdrew his application for rooms wherein to dwell with his wife. On the receipt of this letter the commit- tee deliberated and said, “ We must superannuate him, poor fellow ; and as he has but six months to live we will let him have his full pay.” Accordingly he was superannuated upon his full pay, and upon this superannuity (said Sir Andrew) he lived for more than fifty years.~-â€"Lomi’on Daily News. 9+. St- Paul’s New Clock. The new clock at St. Paul’s Cathe- dral was started recently, says the Eu- glish Mechanic. It was made by Smith & Son, of Derby, and is fitted with the double three-leg gravity cscapemcnt de- signed by Lord Grimthorpe, which has proved to be the best choice of the kind for large clocks. The pendulum is 15 feet long, and weighs 700 pounds. The old bell, known from the name of the maker as the Phelps bell, is again used for striking, and the old bells for the quarters, but they have been raised higher in the lantern. The Phelps bell weighs 5 tons, 400 pounds. The hamâ€" mer weighs 200 pounds. The full di- ameter of the dials is 17 feet, and the central part, that is the space within the figure, is 10 feet. The figures are 2 feet 9 inches long, and the hands are of copper, specially shaped to resist wind and snow. The minute hand is 9 feet 6 inches long, and the hour hand 5 feet long. The weights are carried on steel ropes, and weigh halfa ton each. The clock requires winding every day, and by an ingenious arrangement the clock itself stops the winding when about to strike. «â€"â€"â€"-â€"â€"O.-Q There is an epidemic of measles in New York city. The cases average 100 itwill be over any dead body, and I per day and the deaths from the dis- won‘t be to am so: tt."-â€"â€".Al. crud. case 1.7. After remindingthc, young students of the necessity "for can-' REUGED PRGES For Cash. Alli SILKS, BERLIN WlllllS, AND ALL KINDS OF FANCY GOODS. ‘ â€"â€"â€"_ runs. ussst. ' J. Neelands, Dentist. Beautiful Sets of Artificial Teeth inserted for $10, $12 and $14. according to quality of teeth and kind of plate. Imitation gold filling inserted in artificial teeth free of charge. Gas (vitalized air) and local antes- thctics used with great success for painless extraction. Visits the McArthur House, Fenelon Falls, the third Tuesday of every month. Call in'the forenoon, if possible. Office in Lindsay nearly opposite the Simp- son House. MONEY TO LOAN. I have recently had a considerable, though limited, sum of money placed with me for leaning on farms at Five and a-half'per cent. Parties wishing to borrow on these terms should not delay to make application. Large amounts of funds,'at slightly higher rates, according to security. In most cases solicitor work is done at my oflice, insuring speed and moderate expenses. Allan S. Macdonell, Barrister &c., Lindsay. ‘acrgflcam. run; r W”â€" A‘I‘ -â€"â€"«+~â€"â€"â€"‘V® ARK & SON’S AT PffiICE YOU LIIIE. “.9” MQQHOWNMW MOWWM i ALSO MEWS AND sore" ovnacoars. BEAT LINDSAY PRICES ALL HOLLOW. 9E3TihtdE. Fast Colored Ging~ hams for 190. Fast ’Gglored Mus- lins for 10c. Fast Colored Prints for 10 cents. W The freshest Goods in. the village at Wm. Campbell’s. HENRY PEARCE Subscribe for the “Gazette.” respectfully informs his numerous old cus- tomers and the public generally that he has returned to Fenelnn Falls and resumed The Boot and Shoe Business in the store lately occupied by Mr. S. Nevi son on the east side of Colborne street, and hopes by turning out GOOD WORK AT LOW PRICES to obtain a. fair share of patronage. {if}? Drop in, leave your measure and be convinced that he can do as well for you as any boot or shoemaker in' the county. All kinds of 1%E1’Alfirs EXIGCUTED with neatness and despatch. lElEGlilPH filliS WANTED. H. D. MOCAFFREY is prepared to make‘ contracts for the purchase of good sound cedar poles during the presnnt season, 30 feet and upward in length, and for which THE HIGHEST CASH PRICES will be paid. For full particulars and specifications apply to Jous BRANDON or HENRY Bucous, Feltelon Falls. WM. SHERMAN, Agent, Uoboconlr. Cobnconk, Dec. Ist, 1893. A Great Offer. The GLOBE of Toronto is oli‘ering great inducements in connection with their week- ly for-1894. To all subscribers who for- ward them one dollar by the end of Decem- ber inst., they will send The Weekly Globe for 1894, and, in addition, present them with a copy of “Hints for the Million,” published by Messrs. Rand, McNaIly 8.; Co, the celebrated publishers of Chicago and New York. This work is an invaluable book of refer- ence and handy for the household, being a. compendium of thousands of new and valu- able recipes and suggestions on hygiene, medicine, business affairs, travelling, the workshop, laboratory, house. kitchen, gar- den, stnblo, etc. The regular selling price is 350.; it is worth one dollar. russs uo'rions. Useful to an inquisitive and economical housekeeper.â€"â€"New York Sun A book which will be found useful by everybodyâ€"Boston Traveller. A very useful thing for a. handy person. ~Ncw Orleans Picayune. T-hc “Hints” are comprehensive enough, and the wonder is they aren‘t called a “ Household Encyclopedia.” â€" Cincinnati Commercial Gazette. More useful information could not well1 be crowded in the same space.â€"-San Fran- cisco Bulletin. No well regulated household should be Without a copy of“ Hints for the Million.” --Spirit of the Times, In a wonderfully compact form a vast amount of information --Mnnchester Union. The book will be forwarded free of post- age. The offer is a most liberal'one, and should secure a large increase in the circu- lation of that old establishcdnnd excellent newspaper. l l inspuawou. Mr. Wm.'E. Ellis having transferred his, Insurance Business to me, I am prepared to take risks on all classes of property At Very Lowv/est Rates None but first-class British and Canadian Companies represented. W FARE]: PROPERTY at very low rates. James Arnold. I sacoun mvlsron COURT -â€"OF THE-â€" County of Victoria. The next sittings of the above Court will be held in Dickson’s hull, Fenelon Falls, ON MONDAY, FEB’Y 19th, 1894, commencing at 10 o’clock in the forenoon 'l‘hursday,Fcbrnary 8th will be the last day of service on defendants residing in this county. Defendants living in other coun- ties must be served on or before Dec. 2nd. S. NEVISON, E. D. HAND, Bailifi‘. Clerk Fenclon Falls, December 22nd, 1893. NO’EICE. To the residents oienelon alls. Take notice that any person or persons removing from any village or“ district in- fected with diphtheria. to Fenelon Falls will be quarantined for a period of 14 days or longer, a the discretion of the Board of Health. The citizens ot'Fenelon Falls who do not wish to be so inconvenienced will gOvcrn themselves accordingly. By order of the Board of Health. A. WILSON, M. D., Medical Health Ojficcr Fenelon Falls, Feb‘y 22nd, 1893. l-t. f. . ‘ cAVEATs. TRADE MARKS, oasrcu PATENTS. F f u d flOOPYRIOl-rl‘l's. etc or in mum on an -ee Handbook mite to MUNN at 00.. 361 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. Oldest bureau for securlng patents in America. Every patent taken on}; by us is brought before the public by auction given free of charge In the sixteenth gravitate Largest circulation of any scientific paper in the "or d‘ hgilbenb‘b‘mii: It. Wadi? '0'“ u megfumm months. Addres- co: 032511388. 361 WIN. Now You $11. , HARNESS ....VA_LISEs.... tears .---KENTâ€"ST-,.... ....LINDSAY-...- EVERYTHING BELONGING TO THE SADDLERY AND HARNESS TRADE CONSTANTLY KEPT IN STOCK. Rsraamc DONE ON SHORTEST NOTICE. ‘ LINDSAY so a. CHMERS he is prepared to furnish the people of Lind- say and surrounding country with MONUMENTS AND HEADSTONES, both Marble and Granite. Estimates promptly given on all kinds of cemetery work. ' Marble Table Tops,Wash Tops, Mantel Pieces, etc., a. specialty. ' WORKSâ€"Sin rear 0 the market on Cam- bridge street, opposite Matthews’ peeking house. Being a practical workman all should see his designs and compare. prices before purchasing elsewhere. BOBT. CHAMBERS. North of the Town Hall. HEADQUARTERs. IN VICTORIA COUNTY FOR iiuum Paper and Picture Frames â€"18 ATâ€"H- w. A. encounters, Baker’s Block, Kent-sh, Lindsay. Artisls’ Goods a Specialty. Machine Needles, Alabastine and Dye Works Agency. 3%“ Please call and see my 5c. Paper. David Chambers, General Blacksmith, Francis-st, Fenelon Falls Blacksmithingin all its ditferentbran ches done on short notice and at the lowest living prices. Particular attention paid to horse-shoeing. Give me a call and I will guarantee satisfaction. .45-ly. m The “ Feuelcu Falls Gazette” is printed every Friday at the office, on the corner of May and Francis streets. SUBSCRIPTION $1 A YEAR IN ADVANCE, or one cent per week will be added as long as itremains unpaid. Advertising lkates. Professional or business cards, 50 cents per line per annum. Casual advertisements, 8 cents per line for the first insertion, and 2 cents per line for every subsequent inner- tiou. Contracts by the year, half year or less, upon reasonable terms. ' J'OIB PRINTING of all ordinary kinds executed neatly, cor- rectly and at moderate prices. E. 1). HAND, Proprietor. Marble Works,