Canadian Champion (Milton, ON), 27 Jun 2008, p. 50

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B14 -The Canadian Champion, Friday, June 27, 2008 ~LKEDADIIfs net a gond idea to break ~i.IjW~ Uki~ out Iaughing at the border (Cntotpuilhs I l*ay Juno oft Tusahe champlan) ~ &A~ud Thoue 3 Iucky look-MmIoe have »an a $50 Mf Certificat ta ane ofte bueinoese tha advurfloê ln te foatui. llMn elu . te au VAi. Meu la plts&vti wx» «ow i.VM assiM 1 ran into this guy cecently who 1 knew fcom years ago, but hie looked a lot different. He had a big orange head. Okay, its just a joke, îî didn't ceally bappen, but pretend it did. 1 was of course astonished, s0 1 asked him, "How did you gel that big orange head?" "Funny thing," he told me. "I was walking along the beach and found one of those genie bottles. 1 rubbed ît, the genie came out and gave me tbree wnshes. The first wisb was [or a billion dollars, which 1 got, then 1 wisbed for the biggest mansion in the world, whîcb 1 also got." Yeab, I said, but what about the orange bead? "Well, for my third wish - and beres where 1 think 1 went wrong - 1 wisbed for a big orange bead." 1 don't know wbat il is about that joke, but I can't stop laugh- ing. 1 bad to stop writing it here halfway througb because 1 was laugbmng so bard. l'm stîll laugb- ing. Maybe you don't think ils s0 [unny, but I do. There are a couple movie scenes 1 still get bystenical over. Two of them are in Dumb and Dumber. One is where they make a snowtnan and one of the dunb, guys doesn't know where to put the carrot, s0 hie puts it in the wcong spot - you can guess where. The other is seben one of the dumb guys is pîayfully tossîng snow wiîh a girl, but it escalates untîl bes wbipping snowbaîls at bier as bard as bie can. Maybe you have to see tbem, but like 1 said some things just strike you as funny and thaî 1s the way it is. Il's lîke when I used to cross the border to, play poker witb my youngest daugbîer. The bor- der guard would always ask bow mucb money we had on us. We didn't bave any we'd use the banik machine on tbe other side of the border so we would- n't have to go to the banik machine here and then get it excbanged. Each time we would answer, "Nothing yeî.' So, after a few times, and pretty much antîcipating what was going t0 be asked and answered, it got to be so funny be[orehand that 1 could barely get the words out of my mouth without bursting out laughing, which is not a good thing to do at the border. Speaking of laugbing, you ma), have heard that George Carlin died this week. When 1 was a teenager we would lîsten to bis albums over and over agaîn, and they'd be funny each lunne. Probably bis mosi [amous bit was the seven words you can't say on television. You still catn't hear them on most television stations, but 1 bet a lot of people [rom my generation know those seven words in the exact proper order. 1 baven't lisîened to that album in probably 30 years, but 1 can still rbyme off those worcls just like that. 1 don't know if that's good or bad. The other comedy albums we listened to were Cheech and Cbong. Over and over. "Dave? Dave's not here.' We ail knew what was coming next, but it was stîll funny Just lîke the big orange head joke.

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