There's just nothing left to write about Christmas l've got nothing left. Lt occurred to me that I've already written about al my Christmas atonies of significance and many that weren't significant. Short of making something up, in done. Ive told you twice over the years about the Christroas miracle. Lt was the time that I slowed down with a car full of people to look at some Christmnas lights. Because of that, 1 juat missed a huge deer running scross the road that would have kiiled us ail - or at Ieast slightly injured some of us or dented the car a bit. Last year, 1 embellished a bit by adding a red nose to the deer, but 1 can't be sure that wasn't true. Ive written about Christmas songs, Christinas movies, Christmas dinner, Christmas presents, Christmoas trees, Christmas shopping, Christmas giv- ing, Christmas receiving, Christmas decorations, Chrisimas spirit, Christmoas everything. 1 was gomng to write about how my sister wants a TV Christmas this year. As she says: "On TV they ail sit around with beautiful smiles and beautiful table set- tings while the head of Use household carves Use turkey so nicely. There's even rooro for people's elbows. Evesything is perfect. None of this cheering for Use best presents - Usey're ail favowites and ail so thoughtful." "E%*ryone screams and yells at ours," she says, "and Usrows stuff ail over and drapes Usemselves over couches." She does ail Use work since my mother died 20 years ago and she sbould bave Usat TV Christimas if she wants it. Somne of Use family people I've taiked to about Usis Usink it would be particularly funny to act as if it's a TV Christmas, and would do it for just Usat reason. So, it doesn't look as- if sbe's gomng to get it. Then I saw tisis movie and was particularly intrigued wits tise Jewish holiday traditions. Okay, it was Adamo The Canadien Champion, Frldy, Decembter 12,2003--15 On the h loose Sandler's cartoon movie, 'Eight Crazy Nights', flot exactly a classie, although I laughed hystericaly. I also learned about Hanukkah, wbich peaked my interest because Usey get presents for eight days in a row. 1 could go for Usat, but L'd bave to find someone wihng to hand Usemn over and it's a littie late this year to change religions. Besides Usat, it's neyer a good ides ta write about religion because people tend to take Usat pretty seni- ously and don't appreciate anything Usat may hint at poking fun. Somebody always takes it wrong and fmrds s way to be offended, alUsough juat saymng Usat people could be offended is kind of offensive in itseif if you Usink about it. So, what else? T1here are a couple Usinga 1 wanted to do but didn't get around to. 1 wanted to dresa up like a clown in Use Santa Claus Parade in Milton; I wanted to rost chest- nuts on an open tire, but couldn't find an open tire or chestnuts. Then I Usouglst maybe L'd make fun of ail Use Usings people don't like about Christmas, and tise paradox of disliking and liking something so mucis. But, I ras out of time and space. So, since this is my lms colun before Christmas L'll just say Menry Cissistinas and Happy Hanukkas. Ploeto book your appointinent ~/~~ MILTO Pet Food& Country Depotthim 28 ronte St. N. LAl W *«.r 9 0 -878 -2 3 9 1 0 Monday - Fday &4pm e Sat. 8-Sp. s Sun. 11 -Up VV e A h i t tolion qana cwsl qsanltemn. The~~~~~~ 204saei y-na FOKIL Accet GS0% Prcha e Fiancn A1,9* nalmdl n opyet 60: 5 Y R 1 V100ýRUý, m 2 4l,0 H,,, B, 1A -Min& G 3G/ 2004 Elantra GL 2004 Santa Fe GL i MGGOSMMDM . Lease $o16 9per month sU=E- Leaser ot -N from PD /60 ms GOG from $2 9 18mos DW ýE ~~sl, ~~MSRP FROM$15,625* SPRM 2 y9 * 56480~OC65~86fr86Oone9 Card84 ____________________