PAGE 6, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26th, 1974, WH 1rIBY FREE PRESS BgIRD*'S EVE JIM a0</A Il Ouf in the Woods Some of my ardent admirers have maintained that i'm always out in the woods but strictly speaking 1 don't get that much opportunity to mingle wth the birds and the bees as il were. Because 1 don't go camping that often it's always a prob- lem rounding up the right equipment. Have you ever noticed that no matter how carefully you pack away the gear the previcus ýyear il manages to grow legs during the winler and wander off to different parts of the house. Even when ail the stuff is rounded up I always manage to drive off without some piece of equipment whose loss will cause me untold headaches over the course of the weekend while 'm offering my flesh as a sacrifice to the mosquitoes and black flues. I stili remember the time 1 forgot the bottomn of thé barbecue and had to spend al weekend digging holes in the sand in which to build a fire. On another momentous occasion I ieft ail the eating uten- siles at home and had to spend the next two days living cave man style eating with my bare hands and ripping the food apart with my teeth. The sîew was quite a challenge. I'm a great believer in messages. 1 often interpret hittle happenings as messages of greater or worse things to corne. If a Monday starts off badly ' 1amn cautious the rest of the week. So you can imagine how 1 felt one weekend last year when 1 backed my truck into a carnpsite on the Friday night and just as I got out of the truck t0 start unloading the back right tire went Ifat. As 1 was changing it the ramn started 10 comrneatwn and when 1 decided to do something about shelter 1 discovered about halfway through the operation that the lent zipper was horribly jammed. During one tipý to the woods I expected to be the size of a house on my return to civilization because I seemed to be consurning a rather large amount of food. 1 not only used what I had but had 10 make a trip to a local store for more and even that was gone by departure. It wasn't until I heard a loup burp from the bushes and after checking out the source of the noise 1 realized the raccoons were the ones who would get fat and not me. It pained me to think my wailet was getting thinner as these litle creatures had been dining like kings. 0f course the worst aspect of going camping is the fact that no inatter how good the weatherman has been for the period preceeding the outing he always flubson the weekend 1 intend to head out '. As the Friday approaches the weath- erman calîs for record highs, no ramn and, "Just a great weekend". i interpret record highs as temperature and not wind as il îurned out to be - close to a hurricane, and as for no ain lie was righit. IHe should have mcntioned some- thiing about expecting hail, however, 1 don't go camping that often and when 1 do il is because civilization and al its advancements have become too much for me and 1 feel a need to jusl escape for a day or two. You can imagine my delight then to have the lent up and settled down for the night when i hear a hot rod back in a few camp sites away and suddenly piercing the nighit air are the sounds of acid rock from a portable radio. How those kids could exist the entire weekend on only eight cases of beer is beyond me. As 1 wandered by one day 1 remarked that they should leave their lîvers 10 science for research. 1 was hoping a pile of emplies might topple over and smash the noisy portable radio but no such luck. The really annoying îhing about that weekend was those kids played Ihat fool radio at fuli volume during their entire stay and ail on one radio battery. 1 should have asked thern whaî kind of battery il was because 1 obviously don't buy the ight kind. My batlery usually packs il in after about two hours, right in the middle of the news when îhey'me announcing a hurricane warning. 1 neyer find ouI where the hiurricane is expected so 1 spend the rest of the weekend digging in and watching the sky. On Monday a friend asks me if 1 heard about the big hurricane îhey had in Florida. 1 think perhaps an Indian summed it up best one lime. i was staying at a campsile run by a Iribe of Indians and late aI nighl a young Indian. who had been sitting talking with me gol up to leave and i asked him where his camp site was. He said, "camp here?? Are you crazy, we stay in town". 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