A EEPOETEE'8 LITE. B*t All Sweetnemi by Auj Meai>»â€" Good AdTlce. (Jersey City Argua.) There are few people who, as they ait •ooifortubly by their firesides r-s^din? their d»ily pa|jerij, are aware of the amoQDt of reportonai labor vacbcolumu in that paper eoutaiiis, and th« worrimem iu many caaes the uever-tiriug reporter endared. I can remember very diotiiictly when bat a â- ohuulboy how I tried to outrival myiiuhool eompaiiiina iu writiug eesaya, and nnfer- touacely lor m>Bel( 1 made tliia a special •tudy. I WHS always devotedly attached to noWBpapers, in fact, there is a streak of printer's ink coursing through my veins, my gr-iudfather at (ho time of his death being the uUost ecl;;or and publisher in the Statu uf Peiiusylvauia. It is no more than aatural th«t when I left school â€" whict I <lid Vary suddenly to avoid being expelled for puttiu»> a rat in my teacher's desk â€" that 1 should drift into a newspaper office. I did this, and now, as I look at the little dock uu the mantel and my wife in bed â- ooudly sleeping, I wish I had not. It is long after midnight, and before me is a note from the city editur, which reads : Have a column of cupyiii the city desli by S.30 tO-Uiurruw uioruiug. liuperative. C . City Editor. Now, had the last word been omitted, I might be soundly sleeping, but with that word iu the order the culLmu must be given, and in doing so I will tell the city •ditor what I have been doing, and at the Mme time let the Aryus readers take an eat»ide glimpse at the daily life of an aver- se newspaper reporter. At 7 o'clock Ibis morning the little alarm slock un my uitntel made a buzz and • whizz that fairly set my hair on ends, and with the alarm were several well-aimed rib bluws inflicted by my wife and her pointed elbow. Every man when so sud- denly awakeneil longs for ju-it forty winks more of sleep, but if be ia a re- porter and has a wife who sleeps irum 7 o'l'loi'k in the evening he eau't have them. I wan soon turned oat ol bed and alter going through my morn- ing evuiuiiuns, hurried down stairs to breaklasi. Uastily breaking an egg, half •( which I 8pille<i on the clean table cloth, I Seized a roll 8u hot that 11 could not be akien, 81) p''<l niy coffee which mads me think a " iiob" Davis torchlight procession was going down luy throat, glanced lazily kt a moining paper that was lying by my plate, but which lack of time would not permit me to read, seized my hat and last year's overcoat and hurried to my office. " A little late this morning," was the •klasatiuii from the knight of the blue pencil, as ever> city editor ia dubbed by tho reporters who havo the pleasure of watcliiiit< him make sheet music out of his eopy. " 1 uuderstaud," he continued, ** that there is reason for believing that there is oiooKadiiesi in one of the city wards ; you ko see theexpert'sreport, oare- fnlly compare his h^^ures and footings with the originals, and get in a good •tory iu time (or the first edition. >uw harry." Out I went and in a very few minutes was poring over oolumns of figures. Now, if there is anything I detest it is figures, mnliss on a hank note in my own possession. Until now, 1 put down and carried over until uothiug but figures lecmed to exist. I turiiid iu my Htury, had the pleasure of h«arln^ it pronouncid " not what it should be," and sat ilowu for a little rest. The eity editor suw me do this and turning to me said : " The police headiiuarter re- porter has sent iu a stury of a girl missirg from Hoboken. Now )0U go over there, trace her up, and if (lossible, find her. You oau get )our lunch wheu you come back." I am uiorally certain that a city editor is tike an actor, iiiasinuch, as he never eats, bat I do wheu it oomes my way. Well, I wvnt to Hoboken, nndsftertwo hours' hard work tr) lug to make the Usruians under- â- taiid Knglisli aud listmiiig to them try to make me untlerstaiul German, I succeeded in tracing the girl to her aunt's and finally bringing her home. Thiuking I would be oretiited with a good piuLe uf work, I re- turned, wrutu. a half uulumu atury aud turned it in. The ciiy editor read it, and when be cuuoluded, handed it back to me atid said, "Cut that down to ten lines. Auybutiy could have worked that case up." My heart sank. I wrote ten lines, handed ittohuu again anil began to chew copy paper to prevent immediate starvation. I have worked on a half a hundred papers nnoe entering the prufession and I do honestly believe that it bas always been my luck to get the mo in asiiignments. Again the city edi ur saw that 1 was resting and ha opened his asaigiiuieut book. " They are hoMing a post-mortem in the morgue on a body the) think was poisoned. Work your- â- elf iu and catch all )uu can, because the doctors won't tell sou au,\ thing." A (>o»t uiorteui, an empty stomach, and the subjt'ct having been buried two weeks before being exhumed. It's all in the busi- ness and out 1 Went. Fur an hour I stood by the disseciint; table carefully watching the tests made by the doclwrs, and when they put the stomach in a pail to be ana- }yze<t 1 WAS happy aud returned to the office. There was no i«:<<ult, bo aside from the brief mention ol the fact there was Dpthiug to write. The (arms were sodu on their >«ay do^vnsiairs aixl a moment later the boys were on tim street ahoutiug the Argiu. I drew a sis;h of relie/, for there eould be no more work far that day's paper. Eviileiill> the city e<Iilor saw the smile of satixfaclion and as he drew aoigar from his haudsouio cigar uasu called i^e to his side. Ob, no. g'-nile leader, it was not for the pur- pose of giving me a cigar, bat some more aMigniiieulH. " I have cards for a wedding to-night. You take It iu, and on your way drop In the theatre, and write up a notice. Before you go to the wedUuig sue what the Are uommiKsioiiers do, and when you return take a look in |iulice headquarters and see what you can do for early tx)py," were the ordi rs sh he tantaliziiigly blew aomo of the suiuku from hie regioa-viotoria in my face. " Is that all ? ' I asked, as I entered the order in iny pooket iiairy. " That's all I know at present," he gonetously replied, and kindly told uie I might go home for lunch. This waa the beet order he had jivon and hoiiic I went. My wife kindly told me tbat ilM ;b>uldu't get homp at the prope.r Mine 1 oniild get my meals at a restwurint as bho would not bo bothered keeping them Warm. I did not dispute her suggestion, tor she had a peculiar way of arguing that is not by any means as pleasant as it ia striking. My luncheen was cold. The chops were dried to a crisp, the muffins were heavy and the coffee all groanda. I did not dare oomplain, and after trying to eat in Tain, I left the table, and throwing myself on the sofa tried to rest until dinner hoor. My wife, as usual, noticed I bad eaten sparingly, and ven- tured to suggest that I had twen drinking, when the truth was I had not tasted a glass o! beer all day. She also noticed that my muddy feet were restint! on a tid> that had been carelessly left on the foot of the sola, and after telling me what she thought of men in general, brought in my slippers that iny mother had made and presented to me last Christmas. I put them on and soon fell into a doze, only to ij awakened by my wife, who insisted upon telling me theuumber of creditors that had called to see me daring the day. WhiW she was in the midst of her list the fire bell ra;ig. Of course the fire was ia that poi- tion of the city for which I am held responsible. I jumped from the sofa, threw off my slinix-ri, and started to put on my shoes. I could fiud but one of them, but after a long search during which the entire city mi^ht have burned down I found it out in the back yard, where it had been taken by an ugly yellow dog that my wife's brother had given her. It did not take me long to put it on and as I ran to the fire I coal ' imagine a large tenement house in flames, people jumping from the windows, others burned to death and I sending copy over for an "extra." How I ran when I pushed myself through the crowd and fouud the chief engineer he very kindly told me there was no fire. He added by the way of con- solation that the fellow who sent out the alarm thought there was one. Again I started homeward, and after walking two blocks a tough younu fellow met me and wanted to know if I v^s not the Argiit re- porter. I told him I was one of them and be seemed to be surprised that I had front enough to say that I was a reporter. He wanted to break my face because his name had been in the paper for beiug drank. I never saw him before in my life and am not particularly anxiods to see him agaiu aud besides I have but one face and though that is very nearly worn oat, still I want to use it. It cost me fifteen oents to treat him, but I 8(]uared things. I arrived home iu time to see Mary, that's our girl, clearing off the dinner table and my wife had done as she said she would, let me go without it if I was not home iu time. I was now thoroughly tired and my wife wanted me to take her to the theatre. All my reason- ing power failed to make her realize that it waa an imfoi-'ibility, and when I hurried out to the Wedding, theatre, fire board and police headquarters, she was crying and say ing something about goiug home to her mother. I wouldn't blame her if she did, for I have not a minute to devote to her. Why, honestly, at one time I had not seen her awake for so long, when I met her on the street I did not know her and actually tried to flirt with her, but my wife don't flirt, that is, not with me. Well, I covered all my assignments and when I came in, beside my regular copy, found an order I calling for a column. I don't know what I time it oame. My wife does, however, but ' I don't think it would be healthy to wake ; her up to ask her. I am inclined to think ! I have written nearly a column and will ' submit it to my city editor, but just one I word iff conclusion to parents who have sons anxious to become reporters because I they don't have to pay to get in the the- atre. Should they ever express to you such a desire just tell them â€" I " Yes, darling, in a minute." My wife's awake and is telling me her .opinion of a man who runs around all day ! and neglects his work to such an extent that he has to keep a light burning until morning to catch up. *' Y'es, dear, I'll put the light out so you can sleep. I'm coining to bed right awav." Light out. J. To-<lay's Church Kotes. Rev. Pr. Reid, agent of the Presbyterian ' Church in Canada, announces the receipt up to date of $2,070 as the result of the tour of the mission bands of Knox and Queen's Colleges. I Dishop O'Mahoney, of Toronto, who has been dangerously ill for some time past : with rheumatism of the heart, was reported { much better last eveiimg. I Prof. Mon MuUer, in a letter to the Timet (London), suggests that an asylum or an institution should be opened at Bombay or Calcutta for the i)oor persecuted child- . widows of India, of whom there are seventy-nine thousand under '.I years of age. The Bugijestion furnishes a practical open- ing for the energies of ladies interested iu Zenana work. Uelr«iis to a Fortune. Mrs. Ballantyne, wife of Rev W. D. Ballantyne, Principal of the Ladies' Col- lege, Ottawa, has by the death of a nesr relative become th« possessor of £10,000. The deceased gentlemsn was possessed of £200,000 which was divided amonKst his relatives. Each of Mrs. Ballantyne's sisters received £10,000 and her brother £15,000. » SU of the Fanilly llrad by IXiihtheria. A Canajoharie, N. X.. despatch Bays : Fred. Smith, a fannerlivingnearOriskany, who recently lost four children from black diphtheria, buried two more on Tuesday. The two remaining members of his family are critieally ill. It ia not likely that the Government will adopt tho proposal for a reduction in first - class railway "fares to a uniform rate of two cents a mile recently made by the French Chamber of Commerce, of Montreal. Pittsburg Chronicle ; " A prominent physiologist says that the coming man will be completely bald. Perhaps by that time some inventive genius will build a theatre with every seat in the front row." â€" Never enter a sick room in a state of perspiration, as tho mouieiit you become cold your pores absorb. Do not approach contanious diseases with an empty stomach, not sit between the sick and the fire, because the heat attracts tho thiu vapor. - -Nellie King ia an expert detective in Miiin<fa)>olis. She is about '20 years of age. Nellie BIy, of the New York n'orld. who has won fame in the same line, eaiieoially in showing up lunatic asylum soandals. is only 19. A BAOHELOE'S REVESn;. The Somance Woven from the Strains of the Fiaao Sext Door. I wonder why the piano isn't going tbib evening ? My pretty little neighbor must be otherwise engaged. The door bell rant a moment ago, so Sir Welcome Beau is doubtless iu attendance. Ah,, me ! I be- lieve I'm just a wee bit jealous of thai handsome, smiling fellow. It's a little trying for a crusty old bachelor to sit up here in his lonely den and wonder what ihose two young people are about nexi door. Humph ! 'They're probably enjoy- ing themselves after the manner of youu^: folks. Beutiutent aud small talk without limit ia deubilesa the bill-of-fare. Y'es, yes, how silly I am to envy them. Isn't this fresh magazine and my geiiercus pipe of "Loue Jack' far preferable to such nonsense ! Of course it is ! • » • • . • " Ah ! there, aba's playing now ! How she makes that instrume.vt speak ! It voices her very feeling more truly than ever tongue could. Yes, he's certainly there to-night ; and she's talking to hiui through that piano just aa plainly as can be, the little minx ! I wonder if he can interpret her music ? There, now, those quick treble notea â€" thoee bird-like runa and trillsâ€" don't they say, juat as plainly aa daylight : " I'm so glad you came t« night â€" so glad, so glad, so glad, glad, glad, glad, glad ;" and now Ihose softer, deeper notes ! Can't you hear 7 " for I love you. O, I love you, love you, love, love, love â€" " Oh. you young looney, you ! Why don't you take her right off that piauo-stool and fold her in your arms and kiss her ? I have no pa- tience with such a young noodle. What wouldn't I give to be down there in your place for just one minute, young man â€" just one single minute ! Ah ! There, now ! The musio suddenly stops ! The young- ster's evidently come to his senses at last ! Well, God bless themâ€" God bless them I What ! is that a tear ? It is, by Jupiter ! and I've let my pipe go out, too, and haven't turned a leaf in that magazine yet. What an old idiot I am, to be sure ! • • • • • • • " Y'es, little maid. I know you are very sad this evening. The first plaiutive not<> of the piano told me so ; and there's no use in your repeating it so often. Y'ou'U make me sad, toe, if you don't stop soon. How often has the piano told me, within the past two weeks, that he has gone. Ob, so farâ€" lar â€" far away â€" away â€" away ; across the seaâ€" the sea â€" the â€" sea ; and you're so lonely â€" so lonely, that your heart IS almost breaking â€" breakingâ€" breaking â€" breaking. Poor little girl I I wish I could cheer her up. I'd give my right hand to bring her absent lover back to her this minute. Well, I declare t is that more tears '.' I'm getting to be as soft aa a woman. I must cease this moping here in my den, every evening, listening to that sentimental little woman pouring her heart out at her piauo. It's not gooid for me, I'm afraid. • •••••• " Great Heavens ! I shall go wild if this continues ! Every evening since that steamship has been overdue the agonized tones of the piano have almost driven me crazy. And there it goes axain, telling me over and over, in weird, distracted tones : â- Ua ia daa4, daad, dead ; he is drowavd, he is drowned. I, too, will die, will die ; I, too, will die.' And those wild, pitt^ous chords I Do they breathe a prayer ? I think they must. Ah ! bow they pieroe my heart I • •••••• " There is resignation in the piano's tones to-night. The steamer is lost. They have given up all hope. I saw a man of prayer at the house this evening. He has doubtless comforted her. But, oh, what unspeakable sadness there was in her face, as she stood at the window this eveniug aa I paSae<i I Yes, the piano is resigned to- night. In sad, low tones it speaks of heaven, and reunion, and peace and joy unutterable ! There are still tears in its notes, to be sure, but they are brightened with hope. And now the hope grows stronger and seems almost ready to burst forth into a hvmn of celestial gladness. But there, the door-bell rings, the musio stops, and â€"what was that ? A scream ? • • * • • • • " Well, bless me if it isn't almost too gooil to be true. So heisn't drowned, after all ? I wonder what they all thought of me for rushing in where the returned lover and his sweetheart, almost wild with joy, were clasped close in each other's arms, with the rest of the family standing about weeping for gladness. I suppose I had no right to intrude, but that scream justified it. • • • • • • • " The old piane seems almost bursting with happiness again tonight. It fairly delights me to hear it. I'm so glad the young folks are not going away from the house ne.1t door, now that they are mar- ried. I should mi99 the piano, oh, so much. My ! what a divine hymn of grati- tude and bliss there is in those simple, soulful meaaures that the happy little woman is playing now I Heigh-ho ! That young fellow got a rare treasure ! But I don't envy him. Noâ€" I -don't â€" believe â€" I â€" do. But, anyhow, here ia his health, and long life to the young couple. ' May they live long and prosper !' " KAGNKTIC WIND. 1 Remarkable Subterraurun Bellows Hear a Texas Town. About 100 miles east of El Paso, neai Sierra Blanco, on the line of the Texas i t'auific Hallway, there is a strange phe- jomenon that has just come to publi aotice. The authority for the statemeiitt kbont to be made ia ex- Governor John C Drown, of Tennessee, receiver of the Texas Si Pacific, who visited this city a tew day>- tgo, accompanied by several officials of tin road, iu whose jurisdiction the phenomenon IS located. Governor Brown and Buperin- teiident Judy told the story to one or two persons here, and it has just come out \bout three years ago the Texas A Pacific Railway Company undertook to sink an -irtcsiau well a few miles east of Sierrs Blanco, which ia a little hamlet, 'JS milec east of El Paao. The workmen put the pipe down about 600 feet, when suddenly an uudergrouud cavern waa struck, the drill dropped about 6 feet and a current of air rushed ap the pipe. Driiliug ceased and the well waa aban- doned, the tjOO feet of pi^e remainiug in the ground aud giving a connection between the aurfaoe of the earth aud the subter- ranean cavity a quarter of a mile beneath. I'he phenomenon did not at that time attract the attention of any one sufficieutK to investigate. Recently, however, Buper- lutendeut Judy's attention was called to it, and his persoual examination and inquiries have developed peculiar facts aud testi- mony about the wonderful well. Gov. Brown stopped to see it on bis way here. Not many people live near the well, but those who do reside in the neighborhood of it are thoroughly acquainted with it. Ever siuce it was abandoned, three years ago, the people near by have been in the habit of going aud sittmg about the well iu sum- mer to enjoy the cool aud invigorating air that rushes ap the pipe. One of the strangest things is the fact that the cur- rent of air ebbs and flows like the ooean tides. From 10.15 a.m. to 10 15 p.m. a current of air rushes out of the pipe with a sound that resembles the noise made by a locomotive blowing off steam so loud that it can be heard for forty or fifty yards. At. 10.15 p. m. the overflow of air ceases and a strong suction sets in, which lasts for the next twenty-four hours, this ebb and flow coutinuiug day after day. It has been observed bv horsemen that whenever they get in the neighbor- hooil of the well strong magnetic forces are felt and sparks are given off if the horse's maue is touched. Recently a man from Sierra Blanco was sitting close to the well, and on taking out bis pocket-knife found a nail which he bad iu his pocket clinging to the knife. He held the knife in the current of the air and found the magnetic property was greatly increased. Several weeks ago Supt. Judy held his pocket-knife in the current of air lor four minutes, and the knife ia still strongly magnetized from the effect. The over- flowing current of air is believed to possess remarkable curative properties. Its efficacy is to be tested by experiments upeii cases of paralysis and other diseases. The people who live near the wonderful Well call it the '• foiuitain of youth." â€" Gahtiton Netci. A VHttFVV UKACON. Ha Couldn't Pray or •ins, bnt He CooUl Keep'tBe Uo'g* Oat of Churchy The Rev E. A. Dickinson, editor of t^ Religiout Herald, of Richmond, Va., was telling the Philadelphia Baptist Asiocia* lion the other day how necessary ;t was V nlist the active services of every membetf of a congregation, when some one perti- nently asked : " What are yon going to da with a man that can't do anything ?" " That's a mistake," returned the rev- erend journalist. " Every man is of son^ use. If he can't I'o one thing he can dO another. The point is to find eat joA -vbat he is fit for, and having found it p j him at it. This recalls an actual expei^ eiice I once bad in a backwoods congregsM lion in Virginia. Ii waa my first visit amocg the people and I was auiious tff make it successful. It should be remen»> bered that church in the backwoods meant a gathering of all the people and a goo4 many dogs. After ihe opening hymn I ailed on old Deacon Blank to lead as iS prayer. ' ' Taint no use askin' me,' be said, *X can't do it.' ' ' Suppose you start the next byml^ then ?' ' ' Can't sing either.' ' ' How about taking up the collection f I guess yon can mauage that ?' " Nop. I'm a bad hand at getting round. Better get some one else.' 'â- Noticing that the old fellow carried A stout walking stick an idea was 8aggeste<L '•' Well, brother, do you think you'iB able to keep out the dogs ?' â- ' Yon bet I air,' be confidently replied Then taking a seat at the door, he battle^ with the brutes throughout the meeting^ and after it was over more than one of ths congregation was followed home by yel)r- ing curs with broken Imibs. Every man has his sphere of nseftllnea^ â€" PhilaiinlpHa Bulletin. As She Is W rute. The Oran Ei'tiibltcitniento de ilodelut of Jose Gamero Cruz, Granada, advertises aa follows : Geouietricals reductions of the more con- spicuous and better conserveda reliefs of the Alhambra Arabian palace. Windows, porches and models of Gener- alife Said Palace Tower of Infantas and others Arubian monuments of architeotaral importance. Warehouse of the photographs of the -\lhambra and Generalife and images in boil-clay of the best famous andalusians exemplars types. Urnameut of edifices in arabian style in alN class of works aud arabesques flowers pots. Uunt purchases nothing until visit this establishment. The prices are very reducedsandincredi- bleti. We remit the demands out Spain with readiness and economy. Keep this advertisement of the trading- house Joes Gamera Cruz aud ase it aa a pocket in order to place the visiting cards. Odd Jota From China. At the recent eclipse of the sun tlO Chinese aalhorities, in accordance wiiH the usage of the Empire, ordered thB Buddhist and Tavist piiests to recite their incantations to rescua the sun from being devoared. It was at the time of thQ festivities over the Emperor's binbdaj|| when all officials were reijaired to weaC embroidered robes, but it is also the lav that during an eclipse officials who partiui- pate iu the ceremonies must wear ordinary garments mitil the suu is rescued. Aa edict bad to be got from the Emperor t9 settle it. He ordered the officials to ignois his birthday and attend to the snn, so they all wore ordinary robes. The pen with which John ChinamaS makes bia tea marka ia a curiosity. It is • hair brush placd m a quill, and is very much like the little brushes sold with toy paints. When he writes he never touches his tingera nur wrists to the paper, but graspe the quill in the middle aud begin* to paint very much like an artist retoock- ing a picture. "The Chiutse Government bas applied ttf the Grand General Staff at Berlin fa* several German officers to act as instroA- tors and organizers of the Chinese army. The first American railway engine thsA has beeu imported into Chiua left Shan{^ hai on October 8th in the El Dorado lac Tien-Tsin. ^ Outarto Cmp Keport, 1 It87. The November report of the Ontario Bureau of Industries is just out. I: states that the yield of fall wheat is 14.440,611 bushels, beiug :^.630.'i31 bushels less tha« last year, aud 5,m2,6'J3 bushels less than the average of six years. ThS : average yield per acre ia IG bnshels. I Spring wheat may be aet down as a gener*l failure. The eatimateil yield is 5,ii3:i.liy bushels, against '.•, 518.653 bushels last year, and 9,71H,»7'J bushels for an aversgtt ; of six years. The barley crop was 8ave4 with scarcely any injury from discolors , tion, but the yield per acre is less thaS I for any harvest of the last six years. I The total product is 17,134,830 bushels^ I being 3,377.448 less than last year au4 '2,031,583 less than the average of six years. The oat crop is below the average in yield. I The estimated product is41t,84d,101bushelk n>;ainst 58.C(>a,608 last year. The eatimalei yield of peaa ia 1'2.173,33'2 boshele againab 16,043,734 last year. Pliyslclan, Heal Thyself. " You see," said Mr. Fred Grant to tho electors of a New York town the other day, • that, like President Cleveland, I have taken my wife along." Freddy is right. Most of the mistakes made in married life come from men not taking their wives along. A man is never in better company or safer than when he takes his wife aloug. â€" Buffalo Courier. ' The Origin of Man. In a recent lecture at Rochester, Rev. C A. Johnson, in dealing with the subject of "Evolution," said: "I propose to solve this ve.\eii question and present evolution in its proper light, so that you can under- stand what evolution is composed of, relative to the material which go to make it up. Evolution ia as settled a scientific doctrine as the laws of gravitation. It is of great importance for us to know whether man desceuded from a stock of primates back to which we may trace the converging peitigrees of monkeys and baboons until their ancestry becomes indistinguishable from that of rabbits and squiirels. We shall have some difliculty in settling the questions that at times arise from the cases of human nature which e.xiats potentially in mere inorganic matter and the chain of spontaneous derivation which connects incandescent moleculus or star- dust with the world and with man himself." The Departmental Committee appointed by the Imperial Government will commence sii imiuiry to day, with a view of sscertain- iiiKhowfar State grantscau be made to agri- cultural and daily schools. Theiiuostion of horse breeding will be discussed by the committee. Experience ia a good school, but it keeps us too long, and the tuition bills are too costly for a fellow who i* in a hurry for a diploma. Sle[)8 are being taken by the Hamper syndicate to have the iron ore of Nova Scotia practically tested, in connection with the proposal to establish an extensive steel manufactory in that Province. Somewhat ContaKloas. " Hello ! Ella, my girl, where'a yonr pa ? Haven't seen him on the street in a long time." " He's sick." " And Where's your ma ? Haven't seen her lately. " She's sick." " Where's your brother George? Don't see him any more." " He's sick." " And where are yon going in such a hurry ?" " Going to the doctor's. I'm sick." " What, all sick ? What's the matter ?" " Oh, Cousin Nell has come to board at our house, aud she's taking music lessons." The O. T, K. Tunnel. At the recent Grand Trunk meeting nk England President Tyler stated that tha cost of the St. Clair Tunnel would be sboob .L' 480,000; the traffic that would pass through it would come partly from their ferry at Sarnia and partly from their ferry at Detroit ; the traffic which passed over these ferries every day was eight passenger trains and twenty freight trains at Sarnia, and t?n passenger trains and twenty-fivs freight trains at Detroit. Supposing this work cost £500,000, the interest would corns to £32,000 a year, and they calculated therS would be a saving of at least 110,000, as compared with the present working of ths ferries. â€" - â€" â- â€" -^ . Opera Versus Prayer Meetlng<. Man-- My gracious ! We'll be late. G«( your things on. Wife â€" My dear, it's raining pitchforks and the wind is blowing a hurricane. " We have strong umbrellas." " My dress will be ruined." " Wear your waterproof.' " And you know you have a cold. ' " I can wear rnbbera ; I wouldn't miss that opera forâ€"" " Opera ? This is no opera night : it's prayer meeting night." '* Oh I I wonder if our preacher thinks people are idiots enough to si ir out of tha hnnso such a night as this." â€" Om<ih» World. The Ontario it Niagara Navigation Company's new steel steamer the Cibola was Bucoessfully launched yesterday at Deseronto. A constitution for the proposed annual Industrial Exhibition in Ottawa has been approved by tho Citizens' Sub-Committee, and will be snbniitted to tho general com- mittee for adoption to-morrow. A Fraitfnl Viae. An Oakland, III., despatch sayo : Yester- dav Mrs. Samuel Nelson, who lives near Sidell, gave birth to four babies, threegirls and one boy. Mrs. Nelson is abont 3.". years old and about two years ago gave birth to twins, both girls. The four children are doing well but the mother's life is des- paired of. A St. Louis reporter, who counted ths number of people with whom the Presi- dent shook hands at one of hia pnblis receptions in that cHy, 8«.\ » that 70" per- sons a minute passed for thceo hoars, mak- ing 12,000 "shakes" without rest for ths President. 1 .^^i