The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

owl laffs there dout so many false prophet come in sheeps clothing any more as they do in fancy vests and spats when and now we havo the scotchman who had a boll on ui3 ueck and con sulted a freelance doctor what a shame a pretty young flapper of savannah stepped on the peel of a bs jfta lost control of her feet and took a hard seat in a very undignified manna after a woman has the floor and runs on uninterruptedly why does she pause in her extemporaneous digest to ask are you listening j editor how the new reporter i told him to condense as much as pos sible assistant lie did heres his ac count of yesterdays aftonioon tea mrs lovely poured mrs jabber roar ed mrs duller bored mrs kasplug gored and mis empcnpoint snored only the- restaurant chef knows what ho puts in his soup and he cant remember isoy did you know that tliay had discovered a new planet his chum no is it anything like spinach what gies people the wites we are not sure but arc inclined to sus pect the stork dearie i made these biscuits for you ail by myself llubby thats very th ughlful of you sweetheart but you- shouldnt do such heavy work lato marriages ere to be preferred since the victi is have so much short er time in which to be tired of each other business man what do you think of the board of directors of the new company friend hair 0 them ara capable of nothing while the rest are capable of anything the plea of the fiendish murderer is always for mercy something he did not rive himself the miracle 300 women n the cast and none of them saying a word he tonigh im going to speak my mud to you she arent you really goinc to say anything advice my son see that you dont believe all that you hear or you will grieve youll find so many people know so many hings that are not so meet laundry boys shes always called for and del ered nothing is so worthb as a direc tory of folks who never stay put long enough to be counted ivo got a woman crazy for me sang the asylum keeper rill i never kiss a girl except on great occasions sue what do you call great occa sions bill- whenever i kiss a girl to be happy cultivate your forget- tcry this day started wron because the first letter opened began dear sir and brother theres small choice a summer vacation is just as cheap is staying at home and entertaining relatives who are on vacation music teacher to young man call ing on his daughter what shall we have a concerto of a sonata pupil no thanks ill lake mine straight was 75c lb bulk tea at 50c or 60c looked cheap of course but now that red rose red can at any grocers few peple will be satisfied to drink bulk tea scrambled poetry eht wnigs tho letters of the words in this lit tle verse seem somehow to have be come mixed up see if you cau un ravel them woli oi ouy kiel ot off nu ni a gvirins iu ui eht ria os lueb ho i od hinkt ti het testnaseapl iathg vere a hildc nac od pu ni eht da dan vero etli law lilt i nac ese os diew versir adn eetr dan tlecat nad lal kvro otti odisyrtnuoc lilt i kolo wond no teh dudag negrc mvod no eht foro or rabnw pu ni etli rai i og gnifyi nagia pu ni eht ira nad nwod trehor suiol xosnevets travellers finish 23000mile trip travelled across world to prove worth of british motorcycle montreal fourteen days imprison ment in turkey as spies two encoun- j ters with hands ot bedouins in the de sert who shot at them and a birds eye view of the bursting of the shycot dam in tho syndh det which wiped out lillages and caused hundreds of deaths are among the experiences of j gill 31 of braford england and i irving 27 of melbourne australia worldtraversing motorcyclists who recently arrived in montreal on the last lap of their 23000 mile journey starting from london england on may 13 1920 gill accompanied by v t stephens who was later obliged to drop out en account of ill health went through france germany switzer land austria hungary jugoslavia bulgaria turkey syria irak persia baluchistan india burma the feder ated malay states and australia at melbourne lie picked up irving his present companion and from there they went to xcw zealand taking a steamer from there to vancouver they came here from the pacific coast and took in a little united states ter ritory on their way arriving at van couver on april 24 it took them less than two months to reach montreal the object of our trip is to prove to overseas motorcycle dealers that j britishmade machines an still sii- i preine gill said ours is a vincent hkd onecylinder 4 hp machine j he said winch when the sidecar loaded pulls a weight of more than 1200 pounds it is i think the only onecylinder machine that has ever been used on a trip around the world believe it or not 25 years ago motors of future will run minus gas automobile owners need not fear ft j f p jj fft a shortage ot motor fuel according to g jftiili raljuj thomas t read professor of mining the sturdy child the bright active little chap is the one everybody loves it is only the sickly fretful child who is not attractive it is the birthright of every child to be sturdy and well to be able to make everyone admire him therefore mothers if yours is not attractive its your fault not his he must he ailing and it is up to you to see that lie gets relief that he is given a medicine that will quickly make him well and keep him well babys own tablets are especially designed for infants and young child ren there is nothing to equal them for correcting the irregularities of the stomach and bowels the cause of most of the ills from which little ones suffer the tablets are sold by medi cine dealers or by mail at 25 cents a box from the dr williams medicine co ilrockvilie out engineering in columbia university professor bead foresees the possi bility that the automobiles of the fu ture may not require liquid fuel this development he regards as no more improbable than flying was thirty years ago he says a3 quoted in a press bulletin issued by the univer sity department of public informa tion the only eople who have grounds for immediate worry are the petro leum refiners who in 1029 made 420- 0u0000 gallons more gasoline than they could sell and so had to add it to their already large stock gasoline is not the only possible fuel for automobiles fov the research men and manufacturers have many oth strings to their how we are assured as the discussion is continued motor fuel can he produced by the hydrogenation of coal and the leuna plant in germany hoped to produce 100000000 gallons in that way last year even in the face of the fact that more ordinary gasoline is being made than can be sold a number of possi bilities of substitute liquid fuels are being studied and eir mraging pro gress is being made finally there is the pssihriity that the automobile of the fuure may not require liquid fuel j it seems improbable now but not more improbable than fyittg through the air seemed thirty years ago so there is no need for worry jaded nerves due to weak watery blood anaemia impoverished blood comes so stealthily that it is often well advanced before recognized fa tigue and discomfort the earliest man ifestations of he trouble are seldom taken seriously soon the face be comes pale the nerves jaded the heart palpitates violently after the slightest exertion the appetito be comes tickle and before you realize it you are in a terrible plight at such time by enriching and puri fying the blood dr williams piuk pills will build up the nerve cells and correct the rundown condition con cerning them miss margaret torrey toronto ont says i suffered a complete breakdown my heart would palpitate on the least exertion noth ing i ate agreed with me i started taking dr williams pink pills and by the time 1 had taken several boxes i was ready for anything i had gain ed in weight and every distressing symptom had left me you can get these pills from any dealer in medicine or by mail at 50 cents a box from the dr williams medicine co brockville ont a millionaire may be reckoned as one who has an income of not less than 250000 a year britain had 59s such millionaires in 1924 but this number had decreased to 497 by 1928 little doris mummy what i3 a civil servant mother its sa long since wo had one that ive almost forgotten darling the talking pictures have caused a great change in the personnel of the movies will television similarly cause some of the popular radio enter tainers to seek another field that precious stone the white dia mond has left its exclusively white- collar job and put on overalls a leading optical company has discover ed that the jewel properly mounted is the best possible cutting tool tor finishing small metal parts cutting literally thousands of pieces with no change in its cutting edge aristo cracy whether of gems or of men justifies its existence best by giving the most service p how do lie and his wife get along together q fine because they seldom are the finishing touch masses are afraid to travel by air plain language lsused by major john j jeffers of tho fortietl division california national guard about safe ty in hying he points out to avia tion enthusiasts that as a crash is always reported in tho newspapers with a reference to previous accidents the total effect is further to under mine the publics confidence in the air plane as a safe medium of travel nevertheless ho says in an article in aviation the only way to stop news of etashes is to stop the crashes man in the mass writes majojr jcfters is not airminded he is groundminded people nurally see the inherent disadvantage of the plane in not being able tt remain stationary in the air hi fog or in the darkness and he compares it with the motor car or with a ship that can live through a fctorm on hie sea it is demonstrable that while tho airplane has been brought to a high degree of reliability most accidents arc due to what may bo called pilot failure if hie helicopter principle could be developed so as to bring the airplane down slowly to a careful land ing the problem of safety would be solved whats tvcen tall anil and small i as the giant liner clipped off the miles on her regular transatlantic journey miss edith young and her girl friend reclined on the promenade deck enjoying the steady rhythmical motion of the mighty monarch of the deep im a happy i want to tell every body exclaimed edith to her friend i how is that edith said her companion well you know how worried mam ma and dad wero about us arriving safely at the boat then to come on i board here and almost the first thing i i saw was a telephono sign inviting me to call homo and actually speak from the ship to mother and father i it just took mo about fivo minutes to get them on the line my what a i delight it is to leave them knowing i that vfi arrived safely its just won derful wonderful indeed said her friend hut thats only part of tho miracle just think that even now miles at sea wo can go to the same telephone and thanks to tho genius and skill of bell telephone engineers talk to our parents as easily as from downtown at home say wo cant even he homesick anymoro on sea or land with the telephone at hand empress of japan crrs biggest ship marble swimming pool palm court and fine decora tions an engineering triumph of splendor and efficiency the empress of japan largest ship of the canadian pacific railways many ocean services has become a unit in the largest transpor tation organization in the world in a few days she will leave for the pa cific tho railway has staked the millions which have gone into tho largest ship sailing under the canadian ensign up on the growth of trade and develop ment of relations with the far east the ship is a worthy portrayal of their faith never has such a floating palace been placed on the far east service and to canada is offered tho pride of sailing tho largest ship on the pacific built in glasgow for a canadian com pany operated by canadians and with an established glasgow-to- montreal speed record though she will be overshadowed by her sister ship recently launched by the prince of wales the empress of britain nearly half as largo again in tonnage and even more luxuriously equipped and fitted yet the japan will carry the name of canada into the far routes of trade the interior decoration is artistic throughout deck after deck appears before the eye a symphony of har monious finish for completeness few ships on any route can compete with hor spectacular swimming pool slink in a marble setting at the up per end of which a golden dolphin spouts a spray of water to tho centre of the pool it is surrounded by a pro menade at the lower end is a mod- ernistically designed buffet from which soothing fluids are dispensed to resting bathers on hoarding tho ship the first to catch the eye is tho palm court reach ing from side to side and ceilinged with ground glass through which alt ers golden light at tho forward end is tiie dining salon the full width of tho ship one end given to a serving stand above which towers a gleaming mirror in the centre of which is em bedded a tiny clock a futuristic promenade alley leads to tho oak ball room here from a golden stage the orchestra will bo heard above it dancers will find a garden a promenade riotous with col orful blooms ah lighting is from concealed fix tures each room no matter what its sizo is a blending of woods furnish ings nd fixtures two suites sur passing that ot many hotels and only rivalled in a few instances have tiny gardens with coolcolored summer fur niture ah staterooms havo green and whito tiled bathrooms and all cloth ing cupboards flood with light as their doors are opened ah staterooms havo beds instead of berths they also havo dressing tables there is quite a lot of fun to be had from an old auto tire it may bo used as a swing and tied with a strong rope to a beam overhead or to the strong branch of a tree a single ropo is sufficient the one who swings sits on the lower curve with the feet on one side ot the tire and the head above the upper curve holding to the rope lied around the center of tho up per curve such a tire may also be tied over a plunge or swimming pool and used as a spring board the divo may be made from it cither in a sit ting or standing position for a stunt contest at a picnic camp program or party the auto tire is full of possibilities below aro some suggestions you will think of many others 1 see who can roll a pair of auto tires with the hands to a certain goal within the shortest time someone holds a watch to time oach contestant in turn 2 see who can roll a single tire the longest distance ahead of him without allowing it to fall 3 suspend an auto tire above the heads of the players and see who can throw a number of different articles through it without missing such ar ticles as a ball an apple a shoe a horse shoe or a hat may be tossed through it in turn 4 boll a tire toward a line ot boys and see if each boy on a aide there should he two sides in this contest can jump and allow the tire to roll be tween the logs 5 have two persons hold an auto tire on the ground and see which boy can crawl through the tire tho quick est g place an auto tire around the waist and with this handicap time cacli contestant in a racj to see who can run the fastest to a certain point a 1 haijy chicks wis iialtlllvu jti 215010 last year in roiu m ties vviito fur free cutaloeno a h svvltier jranton ont itioll sams 200 acres goul clatc 1 loam 25 acres bush balance all till able excellent farm for grain and slock well fencud first class buildings water in barns and house one mile from school and church will soil all in bloc- or each hundred separate ciood reasons for spit ing apply morley llealh shanty pay kmd agents wanted agents hakn good monk selling hie best fruit trees shrubs vines evergreens roses etc town or country selling outfit supplied every help given commissions paid weekly 13 d smith sons i til winona on tario coo acres fruit and nursery slock minards liniment checks colds a lost heart when kilty plays tennis well she knows shes playing loo a game as clever a game i vow ill have to close though kitty would make it last for ever i watch her thus aglow alert a pretty maid and so a flirt my hearts the ball twas kittys way to seize it flrst then order play casey after sceingotiley fall five stories are yez dead riley riley oi am that casey shura an yere such a liar oi dont know whither to believe yez or not ulley an that proves oim dead yez wudnt call me a liar if oi wuz alive king bug killer the better insecticide fungicide and fertilizer a quick and sure death to the insect prevents blight stimulates the plant through the leaf guaranteed at your dealers write us for literature king calcium products campbellville ont box c for sunburn minards relieves the acute sting and prevents the muscle restric tion attendant on a bad sunburn minards linment gives quick relief nurses wanted the toronto hospital for incurables in affiliation with bcllovuo and allard hospitals now ork city offer a three years coarse of training to youajf women havtnjy tho required education and desirous ot becoming nursas thin hospital has adopted the olffhthour system- tho pupils receive uniforms of the school a monthly allowance and travelling expenses to and from new york por farther particulars writ or apply to the superintendent fcctlv issue noto youn strength after taking lydia e pinkhams vegetable compound bancroft ontario when i first took lydi e i vegetable compound i had been married about n year and my strength was leaving me on ac count of my con dition i was only 19 and it was my first child my mother told me i needed something to steady my nerves and a girl chum told me to take the vegetable comjxmnd i am m thankful 1 did because it strengthened my whole system and now i feci per fectly well and have a sweet little baby lxy mas j- 1 stauceh bancroft ontario