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an adventure with a burglar few of ua hare lived long in the world without numbering among oar friends a man with a tale the delight of our youth he becomes the vr of our more mature years he is so pr ua his one ezperieno that he never loatt an opportunity of inflicting 1c upon every new acquaintance regardless of the fact that all the other occupants of the room have heard it all before i am never likely to have another adven tore an unadventurous age and country is not favorable to extraordinary experience and it would be as unfair as in this case it would be unwelcome that fortune should allot to one individual the privilege of a second adventure perhaps when i have disburdened my mind in print the tempta tion to play the part of the family bore may be lessened and so i here set forth my story once for all some lew years sgo when i had jnst tak en my degree and was deluding myself with the notion that 1 was doing great things by a course of private reading x had taken up my abode in the temple and i am free to confess i often found it dull a man can not always be reading you know london has its amusements bub they areexpensive especially to him who is not well posted in its ways so it was with no little satisfac tion that one afternoon i found on my table a telegram from an old friend which said come and dine tonight and stop tomor row want you particularly it is some thing to a very yonng man to feel he is wanted it is alto something to dine com fortably and not at a restaurant it was even more to me at that moment to have a reaonable excuse for closing my books and putting off reading to a more convenient season a very short time then passed before i found myself in the southeastern suburl where my friend whom i will call mrs barton lived with her two eons and one daughter on arriving at the wellknown house i discovered that the reason of the urgent invitation which i had received was that mrs bartons two cons were to be away from home for a day or so and that she was afraid to be left in the house with out any masculine protector for her dreams were haunted by the termor of wak ing and finding an armed burglar in her room and of late her usual state of appre hension had been increased tenfold by an unexampled series of successful burglaries in the immediate neighborhood of her house as i well knew from experience gained by staying in the house for months at a time as a child every precaution against burglars had been taken every door and every window was provided with its socket and every night before retiring to rest a solemn procession was made throughout the house and a bell was fixed in each socket to warm the sleepers should the dreaded thief enter besides this a huge mastiff slept in the yard fortified by this knowledge though i could not but admit that burglaries both many and daring bad but recently been prepetrated i did my beat to dissipate my rrienda fears and was particularly gratified by the confidence she showed in my pres ence she believed in me i did not be lieve in the burglar scare and so all parties dined and went to bed in good spirits about 1 30 in the morning however i was awakened by an agitated knocking at my bedroom door and the maids trembling voice bade me get np as her mistress was quite sure that a burglar was in the house 1 fear i only woke to anathematize all fem inine fears and set down the alarm- to an attack of nightmare on the part of mrs bar ton whose dreams had taken the shape which might have been expected consider ing the nature of her daylight thoughts a ladys im quite sure so often resolves itself into 1 am quite sure i thought still as in duty bound i arose hastily put on some garments with an ulster to cover deficiencies went into one of the sons rooms whioh contained a regular armory of weap ons of allsorts seleoted a heavy cape con stabulary revolver and a light sword and strode downstairs to investigate the agi tated faces of the ladies peered out from their bedroom doors a hurried whisper told them to shut themselves in and keep quiet and i descended to the first floor where notwithstanding my intimate local knowledge i soon succeeded in making a horrible noise shaking first one bell and then another and giving ample warning to any nootural visitor that it was high time to be cff for the household was astir all seemed right there so i descended to the basement there too searoh as i might i could find nothing amiss till a happy thought struck me why was the mastiff so quiet in suite of all the noise t i unlooked a door and looked into the yard there he was fast asleep alive evidently for 1 oould feel his breathing but a klok in the ribs failed to stir him the only conclusion to oome to was evidently that he had been drugged this spurred me on to fresh investigations even the most intimate acquaintance is not perfectly at home in the lower regions of a friends house i tried every door i could see and at last found one whioh led into a little pantry cup board whioh had a window the window was open and one pane had been carefully removed there bad been a man at work 1 what had become of him the house was one of the ordinary large villa type aemldetaohed with a large long garden in the rear the garden being on a level with the basement one room of which that facing the garden was handsomely fur nished and went by the name of the break- fist room over this breakfast room was the drawing room with its large bow win dow opening in to a verandah from which a flight of steps descended to the garden against the wall whioh divided our premises from those of the next neighbors under this outside staircase there was naturally a triangular recess which had been fitted with a door and was used as a storehouse for gar den tools i oould not find my man and thought that he had most probably gone disturbed by the noise whioh i had made still i hardly liked to go to bed the extracted window lass and the druggeddog counselling watch- nines so i strolled into the breakfast room opened a case which i knew was the home of some exosllont clears took one lighted it and repaired to the garden leav ing my sword on the table tut taking the loaded pistol with me the cigar was a large one and 2 a m is not the warmest hour of the night albeit the month was jaly bat i had resolved to stay up till that cigar wfti fiilsbed and finally after pacing to and fro for some time i went and leaned up against the door of tb tool shed under the drawingroom verandah there x remained for at least ten minutes or aquarterof anhour and the cigar waa burning vey small when suddenly without any warning i waa forcibly propelled forward 2 or 3 yards into the midst of the garden by a kick from be hind while the pistol went off as i came with a crash on my nose my unlookedfor assailant bounded past me and over the wall into the next garden ere i realized what had happened smarting with rage and not much the worse for my fall i rushed to the wall and saw the man going over the wall beyond a shot from me was followed by a cry if pain and a crash and i waa just in the act of getting over the obstruct ing wall to see what mischief i had done when the enemy returned my fire and a bullet through the bowler hat i was wear ing testified to the accuracy of his aim thoroughly infuriated by my narrow es cape from my perch on the wall i fired all my remaining three chambers at the now retreating burglar as be topped each suc cessive garden wall but the distance the uncertain light and the excitement sent every bullet wide of its mark in a general way x make no pretentions to pluck and in fact to put it mildly prefer to keep out of harms way but the burglars bullet roused every fighting instinct and the desire to shoot overcame the fear of being shot i im agine this must be the case in battle a mans thoughts as to what his feelings are likely to be in danger are rarely his actual feelings when the danger comes the sound of my fusillade sent up the sashes all over the neighborhood and the heads of frightened men and women in all kinds of eccentrio costumes appeared at the win dows while a tremendous knocking at mrs bartons front door announced that police man xrequired to know thewhy and where- fore of so much unseemly noise a few words put policeman x in possession of the facts a few moments were lost while i arrayed myself more suitably for a night crip and i conducted the policeman over the wall to the place where the burglar fell there we found not a little blood and then the hitherto phlegmatlo and apparently in- oredulous officer quite brightened up and turning to mo said hes hit sir i well catch him sir i professed myself ready had we easily traced the course the man and taken until tho gardens ended in a cross road whiro more blood marked the pave ment an occasional drop of blood told us we were on the right track for another 120 yards at whioh point an enormous piece of waste ground covered with refuse heaps ran along the side of the road and beyond this lay the open country the officer now sprang bis rattle and in a short time a second policeman joined us and with this additional force we commeno ed to searoh among the heaps and at last found the spot where the man had sat down and bandaged his wound for we found some torn and bloodstained linen at this mo ment ono of the officers cried out thats him as a figure crossed the skyline at the top of the hill in front of us off we start ed again and from the top of the hill we dis tinctly saw him get into a field all three of us ran our best bis wound and a heavy plow crippled the burglar and x was able to gain rapidly upon him and before he succeeded in making a thiok wood for whioh he was aiming i had reduced the distance between us to some 50 yards the heavy policeman being some way behind however the en emy reached his wood in safety and we all thought it was folly to enter it after him as he could easily shoot us without being seen or giving us a chance of retaliating so we contented ourselves with standing gaurd as best we could all round the copse but alas he never came out and when daylight came to our aid and we drew the copse he no where appeared thus the chase ended and wo had to re tire discomfited and i had nothing more exciting todo than to return and give a de scription of our midnight visitor as best i oould at the police station oftensinoe have x rt sooted upon the worth of police descrip tions of similar criminals i know mine waa all wrong it is not easy to make out the points of a man in the dark or in an un certain light and here the personal element which must have already wearied my readers if haply i should have any comes to an end we heard no more for some fifteen months or a year and a half but we then read in the papers that a certlah notorious burglar had been captured add then that he had been condemned to suffer the last penalty of the law for mur der committed in one of his noc turnal expeditions while the man lay under sentence of death whether by way of reparation or from a mere whim who shall say t he seems to have desired where he could do so to restore the property he had stolen at any rate he oaused tobeforward- ed to mrs bartons house a small clock the only thing he had taken from the breakfast room with a note to the following effect with mr peaces compliments to the only gentleman who ever hit him i did you by going straight through the wood and out the other aide i have heard since that mine was not a solitary instance of stolen property restored by him at the last much as we thought of his wound at that time it turned out that it waa a mere scratch of the arm which ac counts for the speed he waa able to maintain in his flight most stories have a moral except when they narrate real incidents mine being of the latter olass has none nnless it be in the shape of a warning that when it comes to shooting two can play at that game drunkenness in belgium belgium still holds its own as the most drunken country of europe on an averaee each man woman and child consumes yearly 240 quarts of beer and thirteen quarts of spirits xt may be that bavarians drink more beer than that and russians more iprits but taking both toucher the bel gian record is unrivalled tho government is at last arousoi to a sense of tne evils of the situation and some restrictive laws are to be put in force the rlgat to collect by legal process debt inenrred in drinking houses haa been abolished it is forbidden to sell drink to persons under 16 years of age and to sell any one liquor until he is drunk is made a crime the effect of these laws will be looked for with interest it can scarcely fail to be for good mrs testy looking np from the paper isnt this strange a certain gentleman after a fit of illness was absolutely unable to remember his wife and did not believe she waa the one he married mr testy well i dunno if a pretty bard work sometimes for a man to realize that his wife is the same woman he once went crazy over brought bib black wife home adosky belle suddenly traturctred from savage africa t paris mr crampel one of de braxzaa asaia tanta in the french congo territory haa just surprised all his friends by bringing to this country a young black woman who was presented to him aa a wife during his recent explorations east of the oowe river she ia a young savage of rather peasing fea vatzz and graceful form and carriage who still feels decidedly qaeer in dresses and regards wito openmoathed astonishment about everythleg she sees when mr grenfell married a native of africa a while ago bis choice waa a coast girl who had been nurtured for yeara at a mission station and who was a civilized fend christian young person but the dusky flower that crampel haa brought home with him was plucked from the depths of savage africa neither she nor any of her people had ever seen a white man before crampel started eleven months ago with thirty carriers to make a journey through the unknown region northeast of the ogowe after weeks of travelling he reached a great forest region directly east of tho district ex plored by da chaillu where no white mm bad ever been before this is the country of the mfangs whose language differs so greatly from any with whioh the explorer was acquainted that he had the greatest difficulty in communicating with the na tives the mfangs however gave crampel a hospitable reception and he spent several weeks with them when he was about to go away one of the ohiefs came to him lead ing a very dark and nearly nude belle of the tribe he told the white man that he liked him and as a mark of his esteem he wished to present him with one of his own daughters he said she was the daughter of a chief and must not be made a slave but if the white man would take her for his wife he might have her of fers of this bort are often made to african explorers and they usually decline with thanks the delicate proposal crampel however said he would take the girl a s his wife and that young person nothing loth sot out with the explorer for the sea and has probably bid a last farewell to her native forests it is not known whether crampels ohoice is approved by bis relations but he seems to be satisfied and of course he will take the girl back with him to africa when he re turns among the interesting discoveries m e by crampel is that of a large dwarf tribe who are doubtless identical with or allied to the 0 bongo dwarfs discovered by da cha illu he would wait- customer i see you advertise um brellas tecovered while you wait shopkeeper yes bir customer twell i lost an umbrella a yiar ago last fall and i guess ill sit down nere while you recover it for me a betort in kind a propos of turned up noses in more senses than one the american colony in paris has a story of an airy parvenue who to plain mrs jonathan smith added on her oards nee montmorenoi one of these she had occasion to send with some message to a gruff old englishman who returned his capt john jones m z retrousse a boston girl in toledo scene a wellknown drug store in summit street george will you have some soda water clara clara no thanks george i will try some of the chastised cream george two glasses of whipped oream please boston commercial a heedful caution- alloe no george you must not put your arm around my waist george be careful alice alice careful i wbat do you mean george why havent yon heard that wilful waist makes a woful want an even score are you going to the same today browne 1 ashed a traveling man of a friend no theres no reason why i should why not ive got a bawl matoh at home twins five months old and an even score up to the present time cbnfasion of terms laura said the young ladys mother not unkindly it seems to me that you had the gas turned rattier low last evening it was solely for economy mamma the maldec answered there is no use trying to beat the gas company my daughter i have noticed that the shutting off of the gas is always followed by a correipo idlng iuorease of piessure well that lessens the waist doesnt it mamma dear vi replied the artless girl and her fond parent oould find no more to say too muoh for the baby gushing tisitor oh oo ittle teenty weenty toosle oozie sing i turn here and et me tlss its ittle turly tootslewootale oo itty pitty sing 1 boston baby i really beg your pardon madam but owing to what perhaps is a foolish prejudice on mammas part i have not been allowed to oommence my language studies i am very sorry but 1 will have to aak yon to address me solely in the eng lish language plenty of spirits present at a recent seance in the house of a well- known prohibitionist in pennsylvania a person supposed to be worthy of confidence but a proverbial joker was choaen aa accom plice and placed in the cellar below the ses sion room the company being gathered and the raps being heard the question waa ask ed are there any spirits present there are 1 oame in response in a semi- sepulchral tone will you please to make them known to us continued the medium gin whisky jamaica santa cruz sch napps cognao and about all the varieties yon can think of was the reply yonkere ga rotte impebial fj3debati0n so bet scheme bat a natural development like the british 1oiutltutloa lord herscheli la the absence of lord rosobery presided at the annual dinner of the imperial fdderationiats la london and his principal speech ia thus reported in the colonies and india the chairman lord herscheli on rising to propose the toast of the evening impe rial federation was received with loud and prolonged cheers he said there were not a few persons who regarded the imperial federation league with derision and con tempt and who looked npon it simply as the embodiment of an idea well it was not at all a mean or insignificant idea of which the league was the embodiment that these great nations of whom it had been said that eagland was the august mother instead of drifting further apart should be drawn into closer and more in timate relationship cheers to believe that with this closer relationship there would be an increase in unity of sentiment and ac tion for the benefit of the entire empire was an idea which could well be described as a grand one he differed from his friends who had previously spoken on the subject of a practical schema of federation for he rejoiced that adhesion to the league involved the acceptance of no scheme if it did its members would probably be muoh less than they now were hear hear he trusted moreover that the league would never have a scheme which could be called the scheme of the league until that scheme had an almost certainty of immediate realization hear hear the subject was of immense importance and difficulty and there were some who said that any scheme was an im possibility for the league therefore to pin its faith to one particular plan would be to retard rather than to advance the ob- jeot they hid in view it was only by ven tilation and discussion and after the matter had been thoroughly threshed out and con sidered that we should ever arrive at a scheme affording a reasonable opportunity of success bear hear hi doubted too whether the time had yet come tor the summoning of such a conference as has been suggested for men would come to it with their minds not made up with schemes crude and undigested and if the conference were to part without any practi cal result the scheme of imperial federation wonld be a great deal further off realization than at present hear hear a desire for such a conference mutt come from the colonies and when that desire was once manifested he trusted there would be every wish on tho part of those who had the man agement of colonial affairs in this country to meet the desire hear hear he was however by no means sure that the scheme would be realized at the outset as a set sym metrical scheme applied at once to all the colonies for such a scheme however com plete and brand new would be out of har mony with the oharaato and scope of the british constitution all t e developments and changes which that constitution had undergone had been the result of natural growth and he believed that imperial fed eration if it was to be realized would oome about in the same way by slow degrees and in different forms as regarded the in dividual colonies whatever the character and tho degree of the federation of the future might be the subject was surrounded with difficulties and it was the duty of the league to encourage disoussioh and to foster interest in the question both at home and in the colonies already in four years it has done much the day had gone he believed for ever when the colonies were regarded as an encumbrance or even with indifference hear hear and its disap pearance had been accelerated by the action of this league hear hear the league was keeping alive the idea of oloser union and it had brought home to the mind of our colonial fellowsubjects that we do oare for them and that we do desire a closer union hear hear he trusted the day might never come when any one of the colonies wonld desire to separate from us but if ever there should be a nearly unanlmons wish in any one of them to part company we should not be mad or foolish enough not to let that separation take place with good will separation however would be a loss no less to the mother country than to the colony perhaps even more to the latter than to us the union which existed in volved no serious burden on the colon ies it did not hinder their free and natural development but it gave them a tie with the historic past it made them subjects of the british empire whose good name and noble traditions were as muoh theirs as ours and to break them selves from that continuity to detach them selves from that historic past would be to them a great loss would be likely to dwarf their ideas and aspirations and to make them less great than they wonld otherwise be cheers he desired to see this bond of common interest affection and goodwill made stronger firmer and more vigorous even than it was today and it was because he believed that the imperial federation league did much to stimulate and render aotive this community of sentiment and in terest and regard that he deolared that even if its practical results jvere aa small as its enemies predicted they would be it would yet have well justified its existence ap plause tho toast was drunk with enthuiiasm how to wash rannel sbirts yes we have had a good deal cf camplalnt from customers about the shrinking of their shirts all material will shrink some we generally allow half an inch for flannel and if it be properly washed there is no rea son why it should shrink perceptibly after that the proper way is to soose the gar ment in hot soapsuds never rubbing fr aud put it repeatedly through a wringer the garment should never be wrung with the hands and never put in cold water the shahs presents the court functionaries at bsrlin and st petersburg have have been direfully dis appointed ssya london truth by the presents whioh the shah distributed on leaving those cities diamond snuffboxes watches rings and jewelled swords were confidently expected but lo and behold i the shah contented jimeelf with giving away a number of photographs of himself enclosed in silver gilt frames of very moder ate value a a russian nobleman has recently paid 1200 roubles 6x1 for a pair of nightin gales that are aaid to render delightfully various national melodies sweetness and light an underweight pound of sugar redly the firelight shines thrcugh the room chasing away all the shadow and gloom lighthearted children are prattling in glee father la aa happy as cad be for the wife and mother who suffered so long is getting her health back and soon will be strong and who is so happy as she la tonight as the thinks of the shadow thats taken us flight the shadow of disease that darkens so many hornet and makes the life of wife and mother one of terrible suffering hff pleased we are 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