The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

the tribune is published every friday at the it pbmin house main street stouffville subscription 100 per annum first insertion per line solid nonpareil kacwsnbtequcnt insertion per line 004 fxafeutonal cards per year 4 o rates under contract one column per year 50 00 half column one year 300 saartercoucm one year x8 00 ifchtb column one year 10 00 for six months or three months in the same ratio hoidge bros fublufiers and proprietors fiue and lyv lwuiukce ity g bioayin stouklhilo ont aisr yox loudon llverool globs osrkriomurcal or lojruvs and mnvaifaciurcrslifo suu aceiuji liisuraiiuo compaiiiiw lowest hates 1 am ircparcil to lend money lowest rales on keal estate a g brown cjsintelsrial shaving iarim firstclass shaving parlor fitted up in neatest styles hair cutting and shaving equal to any city barber shop toadies and childrens hair dressed h the latest fashion indies please do not call on satuuay after 5 p m wm a bovair hurkholders block stouffville east end grogery best vajltje in teas sugars spices fruit crockery and glassware garden seeds woodbox stove polish sunset dyes all colors of these celebrated dyes kept constantly in stock price only five cents j armstrong scuffvu april 25 1888 immbef yard w e hajrtlsrey keep constantly in block a full supply of lumber lath shingles salt plaster coal water ume plaster of paris coaltar tar paper eire brick fire clav etc ft sc cash paid for hides woolsheep skins and all kinds of grain- warelioase opposite railwaysiationstoultville harness the undersigned keeps on hand an excellent assortment of hamess collaks whips etc also a stock splendid tack robes all cheap for cash a von buseck main street stouffville harness geo minns has constantly on hand light heavy harness collilrs saddles c all orders promptly attended to j repairing done cheap main street stouffvllle his title to immortality- first sweet debutante at the ball hubb mariel here cornea van saccharine i moat have on my very beat smile if he should happen to approach us second sd who is he maude some foreign count or you would not be so crazy about him first s d indignantly indeed van saccharine is no foregin count he is some thing immensely superior to your aristocratic dudes or ordinary genuiaes he is the in ventor of the new ecstatic bliss chewing gum whioh makes your mouth water to got a tat te of it that is a man who is going to leavo his footprints on the sandsof time and dont you forget it consummate cheek- an enginedriver on aline that shall be nameless having been discharged applied to be reinstated you were dismissed said the superintendent austerely for letting your train come twice into collision the very reason baid the other interrupting him why i ask to he restored why so why sir if 1 had any doubts before as to whether two trains can pass each other on the same track i am nbw entirely satit fied i have tried it twice sir and it cant be done and i am not likely to try it again he took the lint willie a and maggie b had been busy courting for over two years meeting every wednesday night in hope street glasgow about a fortnight ago willie in parting with his beloved made the usual remark ill meet ye in hope street next wednesday nicht mind and be punctual deed ay willie lad replied meg with a merry twinkle in her eyes we hae met a lang time noo in hope street and i was jist thinking that it was nigh time we were shifting our trysting place a street farther alaug what wid ye say -to- union street willie has taken the hint and the invitations are out a point well taken he was seated at the other side of the room giorge she said if a fire were sud denly to break out in the house what would be your first impulse do you think well my first thought would bs for you of eourse i would get yon to a place of safety and then do what i could do to ex tinguish the flames that would be very nice of you george to think of me first but if a fire were to break out now for instance wouldnt you lose valuable time in reaching me from away across the room i dont know but what i would said george as he chanced his beat f 0u0 tw fyttvmt little orphant annie little orphant annie come to out house to an wash the cups an saucers up an brush the crumbs away an shoo the chickens off the porch an dose the hearth an aweep an make the fire an bake the bread an earn her board an keep an all us other children when the sapper things is done we set around the kitchen fire an has the mostest fun aliatnin to the witch tales at annie tells about an the gobbleuns at glta jou ef yon dont watch out onot they was a little boy wouldnt say his prayers an when he went to bed at night awaj up stairs his mammy heerd him holler and his daddy heerd him bawl an when they turnt the kiwera down he wasnt there at all t an they seeked him in the rafter room and cubby hole an press an beeked him np the chimbly flaean ever- wheres i guess but all they ever found was thiat his pants an roundabout an the gobbleuns 11 git you ef ou dont watch out an one time a little girl nd allub laugh an grin an make fun of ever one an all her blood an kin an onct when they was company an ole folks waa there she mocked em an shocked em an said she didnt care 1 i an thlst aa she kicked her heels an turnt to run and hide they was two great big black things a standin by her side an they snatched her though the ceilin fore she knowed what shes about an the gobbleuns 11 git you ef you dont watch out an little orphant annie says when the blaze is blue an the lampwick sputters an the wind goes woo00 1 an you hear the crickets quit an the moon is gray an the lightnin bugs in dewib all squenoh- ed away you better mind yer parents an yer teach ers fond an dear an ohuriah them t loves you an dry the orphants tear an hep the pore an needy ones out clusters all about er the gobbleuns 11 git you ef you dont watch out i james whitocmb riley too old for capers miss giddyspinstor coquettisbly jdear mr timiddont you like mutton with cap ers mr timid who has been trying in vain to cut his meat for the last ten minut es yes when they are properly mated but my mutton is too old for capers what they objected to there are some planspoken people in the eastern states vide the following excerpt from the advertising columns of a boston papor wanted a really plain but ex perienced and fiicient governess for three girls eldest 16 music french and german required brilliancy of conversation fasci nation of manner and symmetry of form ob jected to as the father is much at home and there are grownup sons address mat eb postoffice newburyport mass musio i dnder difficulty hasnt that young man gone yet clara impatiently asked the old man from up stairs if he doesnt start soon hell find the parlor celling giving way hed going in a moment pa just as soon as i finish singing im going to be married ha ha mamma i dont hear any singing growled the old man no papa im singing it in a low soft tone for fear of routing the dog the only thine left firat society man yawning what time is it second society man stretching nine oclook too late for the theatro yes too early to go to bed yes im too sleepy to read or talk so am i too tired to think well as we neithor of us seem good for anything else lets dress up and go to mrs westcnds party a good answer tho tollowing incident from the recent tour of the german emperor in italy is vouched for as an actual occurrence italian told off to receive toe emperor at a station and pushed aside by a big german a little patience sir if you please german i am count herbert bismarck italian the exonss is insufficient the explanation is ample in school by sydney dayre are you doing your best at school elete asked her mother well i dont believe i exactly am mamma said the little girl half laughing half soberly you bee there are so many girls there yea hut thev all go there to btudy dont they i suppose so said elsie slowly as if there might be some doubt in the matter but lulu grant and annie hill do so many funny things behind their desks i cant help laughing when i see them but if you were busy with your studies you would not bee them no but i like to look and then some times we have to write notes to each other about going to the woods or going to eee each other after school and sometimes we pass round candy when the teacher isnt looking and eat it canc that all be done out of school y es of course mamma but all the girls do it are you sure of that well i mean almost all hattie grey never doee she and mary henderson and a few of the other girls study away just as if they were big girls i threw a bit of candy at hattie the other day but she wouldnt raise her head and it rolled out of her lap and fell on the floor mieb boy saw it and she asked abont it and gave mo a bad mark i wish you were more like hattie my daughter 0 mamma im going to study hard when i am older if you do not begin forming habits of faithful industry while you are a child you rray be very sure they will never come to yon when you are older well mamma said elsie fretfully im bure i shonld do better if you would send me to miss cans school she always gives prizes and the girls there study liko everything to try to get them i am sending you to what i think the best place for you elaie said her mother soberly you are sent there to learn what will be of use to you for your whole life if you do well what you aro expeotod to do you will grow into a wise woman able to do whatever duties the lord may send you but if you spend the best part of your life in trifling you will be worth very little tell me dear do you think that some small prize or even the gratification of wijtig it would be equal to the pleasure you ought to tako in feeling that you aro doing yonr best that you are pleasing god and your father and moth er no mamma i really dont said elsie kissing her and im going to try to do bet ter she really did mean it and for a day or two kept her eyos resolutely on her book in spite of notes thrown by lulu grant and a tempting bunch of grapes held np by ann e hill bnt she found as so many of us do that a bad habit once formed is not easily rooted out and the foolish little lassie quiet ed her conscience by saying to herself it is almost the end of this term next term im going to begin right and keep it np do yon think she ever asked herself if duty ever belong t one time more than to another i i see some visitors going into the reci tationroom said lnlu hastening into the entry just as the first bell rang for the after noon session daar me im glad i dont have to recite the first thing dont keep me girls i want to study my geography 0 i have to recite history the first thing i exclaimed elsie in great dismay and so have i said annie and 1 havent looked at mine said elsie where is my book o i took it home last nlibt and forgot it this morning annie had flung down her history in comical despair elsie seized it and began studying it with all her might annie came to look over with her and as the second bell rang they went to their desks striving in the few momenta before the class bell rang to glance over the neglected lesson euie was iond of history and was familiar with the incident which formed the principal part of the lesson if nobody was to be there i know i could get through it after a fashion she whispered to annie but it always up sets me so to recite before strangers it was not strangers who were to listen to her recitation that would have been bad enough but how infinitely worse to find herself with her unprepared lesson face to face with her mother and some one else aunt laura who had come fcr a few days visit who had always taken such pleasant interest in all her school affairs who had even suggested that she might send her own little daughter to stay with elaie and go to school with her a most delightful thing to think of as elsie had no siatera of her own how despairingly she tried to recall the words at whioh she had taken such a hasty glance she was able to give a blundering account of the hero who figured in the les son but names and dates entirely escaped her she stammered and hesitated in shame and confusion her eyes sinking before the loving ones who gazed upon her she could feel all the surprise and disappointment which bhe knew they must express tht questions passed on to mary and hattie at whom she had often laughed for being plodders and elaie thought she would have given anything she owned to be able to recite as they did promptly and clearly with the confidence which alwayb comos of dilligent conscientious study i dont believe youll over want to visit my ochool again aunt laura said elise coming to her in the evening with tears in her eyes no i know you never will if i could only have known you were coming you would have seen what a good lesson i should have had i wanted to bee you just as yon are esie not as when you prepare for com pany and you saw me aaid elsie mourn fully a careless idle little cirl and youll never forget it of me no matter if i turn right round and do my very best after this and youll never never let cousin helen come to go to school with me now why my dear little girl said aunt laura putting a very tender arm around the little penitent do you think i never do wrong myself never need to repent and seek forgiveness that i should be so hard as that on you ob aunt laura said elsie very ear nestly im going to turn over a new leaf aa mamma bays really and trnely im going to show you and mamma how hard i am going to try and do right i mean just because it is right and if i do perhaps in another year youll let cousin helen come elsie said her aunt with a smile if i should tell you i had bo muoh faith in your promise that i would let helen come next term what would you say oh that yu are the dearest aunt laura in the world and that it would make me try a great deal harder than if you pun ished me by not letting her come i think aunt lauras way was a good way dont you curious story of a pros i have long been an observer of the curious habits cf frogs but the following story told to me by professor frank ferguson o5 the new york hospial ia bettor than any i can recall in my own experience in a tank in the museum of the hospital were kepta frog seven turtles and a young allegator the latter being about ten inches long this mixed family got along very smoothly during the winter the frog perched himsolf on the top ot a piece of wood that floated in the tank at night the little turtles for they were not quite grown up and the baby alligat r would settle them selves beside the frog and blip into the water again for the day during the entire winter the frog never moved but sprawled on the stick his eyes pointing straight up nor did he all the time taste a morsel of food but toward the end of may he slipped from the bit of wood and took his place at the bottom of the tank shortly after this one of the hospital officials looked into the tank and found there only six turtles instead of seven he said nothing abont tho matter and the next morning he could count only five the frog was in his own place and quite still then it was believed that some one was robbing the tank and close watch waa kept but nothing was discovered the following morning there were only four turtles in the tank the next day there were three the day succeeding that there but two tho following day there was only one ac this point the authorities became angry and a constant watch was kept upon the tank here is what an attendant saw the frog was in his place perfectly motionless and tho turtle was going round and round look- ing for its lost triends at last it wen over to where the frog lay and settled itself for the night then the frog was seen to give a bound swift as lightning and to compose himself again in his motionless attitude but no turtle was to be seen the frog had fairly in the words of the watcher jumped outside of the turtle nothing now remained except the frog and the allj- gator and they seemed to enjoy each others company this state of affairs continued for a week when one morning it was dis covered that the alligator was missing there said some one the frog isn t the taief this time thats sure isnt he though replied professor ferguson look here there was tho frog sitting back and contorted the most comical way out of his mouth hung about two inches of the alligators tail and part of the head he had with nice precision seized it by the middle when it was performing some grace ful curve harpers young people sulehtinc ahd tj8jbful a n of light travels 11160000 miles in a minute leominister mass is likely to have both electrio lights and an electrio railway robert stevenson of glasgow scotland claims the honor of an invention which will give ocean ships a speed of forty knots an hour steam issuing from r pipe or hose under a pressure of ninety pounds per steam gage travels at a velocity of about l9x feet per second according t prof thompson with wires near the earth electricity travels with only about onehaf the velocity that it does on wires with a very high altitude messrs moore and lyon two dinbury cf engineers have invented an apparatus by which all the cars of a train can be heat ed by hot air direct from the loc motive southbridge mass has the largest specta cle factory in the world the products of the institution last year having been over 1500- 000 pain f goldbowed spectsoles and eye glasses germany claims to have the fastest ar mored cruiser in the world ic is the g iet of two thousand four hundred horse power she attained a speed of twenty- three knots the english are making nse rf electric lights in their operations at suak- n the value of electrio lights in warfare u becom ing well recognized and is emphasized by their employment in africa asbestos clothing has been put to use by the firemen in paris and it proved to bo a good proteotion against the heat it is said that this kind ot clothing will soon be adopted by the firemen of london the statment is made that aluminium has been successfully manufactured from ken tucky olay a plant was erected at new port capable of turning out a ton a day at an approximate cost of 4 1 the price of aluminium is now 6 per pound the report of electrical control of new york citj shows that 4500 milea of tele graph telephone and electrio light wires have been put under ground but in spite of this there are today more overhead conduc tors than there were a year ago experiments on the relative advantages of different covering material for steam- pipes recently made at st denis proved waste ellk the most effectual of all non conducting compositions and itii statad that notwithstanding its high price this material ia greately used acida in lubricating oils may be detected by analyaib in a laboratory or by putting the sample to be tested in a clear glass bottle with a copper wire running down through the cork air tight stand the whole in a sunny place for two or three weeks and then on removal if verdigris or green rust appears on the copper an acid is in the oil rochester new york oapitaliata interest ed in the proposed electrical suburban rail way are meeting with considerable opposi tion from the rw 0 railroad company with which it will compete the electric railway company has been granted the right of way over ihe entire route excepting on the r w 0 bridge and it ia expected that a commission will be appointed at an early day and condemnation proceedings begun mr gordon mining inspector who was d spatohed by the british government to the hiarmer springs in new zealand to report upon the effects of the recent earthquakes states that he found fissures ranging from one to four inches in swampy ground at the extremity of a line extending twenty miles northwest from the springe he found rents in hard ground some two feet wide he at tributes the recent phenomena to chemical rather than volcanic action owing to the vast quantity of sulphuretted gas liberated in the disturbed locality dr hammond and womans brain dr william a hammond who disre garding the record of colleges insisted on claiming that woman was is and must ever be inferior on acoount of ber smaller brain is lesser specific gravity and other palpable nifferenoes in structure has not been heard from lately and is doubtless pondering over the facts revealed by the scientific researches of helen gardner our doughty chumpion who after months of careful atudy with the best authorities made these discoveries 1 that the brains ofinfants show no dif ference in the sexee 2 that there ia no suoh marked differe ice between the brains of the sexes as between tho brains of the individuala of the same aax 3 that while the brains of the most distinguished men the crornwalls the cuviers the by- rons and the spnrzhelms have been weighed to help the average for man there has never been examined the brain of a great woman our sex has been ticketed to fit the hospital patient and the tramp 4 that while it is olalmed by the beat authorities that the specific gravity of womans brain is leas than mans it lis also conceded by the same best authorities that the specific gravity ot brains increases in old age and insanity 0 that after all the difference in male and female brains is bo slight as to bo not easily recognis able based on this last assertion miss gardner offered to furnish dr hammond twenty well preserved adult bri of both sexes ticketed in cipher and thn dowu the ohallenge to him that he would not be able to tell which was whioh unless dr ham mond accepts this challenge we want to here nothing more from him on the subject of womans inferiority like mark twains irishman but allonoe and mighty little ot that womana tribune his plural otqirl whats the matter snipkits said one traveling man toanother you look dej ected havent your love affairs prospered youve got the difficulty right there i wasnt content to call on one girl and went to see two by the way can you tell me what the plural of girl u why girls of course it may be in some grammar but in mine the plural for girl is mental woe christianoonsidetateness collector i have called bix times sir for tho amount of this bill already cit- zen what six times is it possible you have been put to all that annoyance now ill tell you what ill do when i feel like paying the amount i will call on you myself its outrageous to give a man the trouble i have unconsciously givon you