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wit abd wisdom rnb upward when washing or wiping the face and wrinkles will not come so fast brisk hand rubbing after drying with a towel will do good i am opposed to all games of chance saidruwson and yet you got married said lawson yes and thats why i am so strongly opposed to em an irish magistrate asked a prisoner if he was married no replied the man then said his worship amid peals of laughter it is a good thing for your wife unequal warfare she five feet eleven i cant listen to another word 1 he five jl feet five do do hear me 1 i may not be large but i have a large heart 1 she ca oh do go and love somebody of your own size did that lady buy any thing asked the jeweller of his new boy as the lady in ques tion left the store apparently in a temper she aaksd me for an old gold breastpin and i asked her if she took this store for a junk shop then she went out justice you say that your sister wa bitten by the horse and you want damages j plaintiff yes sir i have witnesses tc prove that the horse bic her defendant i can explain judge the woman is a grass widow the horse is not to blame the completion of the ninth edition of the encyclopedia britannica is to be cele brated by a dinner to be given at cam bridge some time this month professor robertson smith who al ne survives of the ohief editors is to be the host on this oc casion some time ago a teacher on answering a knock at the school door found one of her pupils wrapped up to proteot her from the rain teaoher mother says i neednt come to school today cause it rains and downstairs the little maid fled like a fright ened deer an unpopular room first young lady at broad street station these young men are so rude ive a great mind to complain of them second young lady we might go into that big waitingroom and sit down oh its so stnpid in there its reserved exclusively for ladles see here bruff said the editor to the proofreader youve got me in a nice bcx you have hows that bir why i wrote that there was a grand parade of uniformed voters last night at hodgeville and youve printed it uninform ed voters shoe department mr smith making a purchase for mrs smith who has instructed him to get her a pair of 3ij let me see a pair of ladies fives wide clerk who knows the smiths why mr smith your wife always orders 3j mr smith young man i am not gojng to suffer torture every morning watohwg that woman trying to get a bushel of feet into a peck of shoes i am going to take her a pair that will fit her a oitizen who had just had a tooth pulled howled himself through the reception room and down stairs to the street i believe totes for women a difficult problem is presented to french women desiring to conform to the fashion of wearing flowers by the way in which cer tain flowers have become attached to politi cal ideas for example the violet is the symbol of the bonapartists boulanger claims the carnation the corn flower is ie- cognised as german and the rose has been appropriated by the orleanista the sug gestion is made that neutrality can be indi cated only by a bouquet of all the flowers or none at all the polonaise of other days lives under the new title of the empire redingote and it will be in high favor during this and the com ing season to describe it generally it is a half fitting long coat snug and graceful at the back and open over a plastron and inner skirt of like or contrasting material some times there is a little fulness left in the cor sage portion which is shirred at the throat and again very narrowly at the belt the sleeves are quite full and a band of bulgarian embroidery wrought in rloh coloured silks is around the armhole and forms a deep cuff at the wrist mnsy of the papers have recently given np mnch space to the discussion of the rather useless question is marriage a failure many of the opinions aired on this topio are omoaing many of them absurd but it is noticeable that in nearly every case where the union discussed is an unhappy one the causes for its failure are very simple in the majority they are simply selfishness or bad temper often both and there are few unhappy marrisces which could not be ren- j deretf more bearable if both husband and wife made more effort in selfrestraint only temper is responsible for many un happy lives camphorated lard and cold cream de scribed recently aro two essentials for comfort during the winter when one is ex posed to cold in the daily work another thing one should keep in the house is a lini ment composed of turpentine and sweet oil onethird of spirits of turpentine to two- thirds of sweet oil it is an excellent reme dy for colds on the ehest applied on flannel iu the form of a plaster it is much safer than a mustard plaster the irritant quali ties of the turpentine are softened by the oil it may be loft on for days until the cold is relieved if sharp pains in the chest or side suggest the approach of pleurisy or pneu monia it will be advisable to apply such a plaster at once it is the first thing our doc tor orders in such cases this liniment will relieve many aches or rheumatio pains and it has tho advantage of being inexpensive the story of a gun you are next sir jjnida waiting sufferer politely oh no mr you came in before i did im burelm not next sniffod an old lady i shall have to give up my turn said another regretfully ive stayed here longer than i ought already my dinner will be ready in half ah hour said the last one left and they all made a hasty exit between two fires young lady in dry goods store thebe goods will wash of course mr spindle mr spindle who is devotedly fond of young lady while at the same time in easy hearing distance of his employer oh yes indeod that is i think they will er of oourseyou know they ought to wash theyro high enough i wouldnt liko to say though they would wash if they wont wash but er m ah em ployer emphatioally you may say to the young lady mr spindle that the goods will wash mr spindle relieved yes miss withers the goods will wash epoch a bight loval toast the following is a verbatim report of a speeoh in giving the toast of the queen at a recent agricultural show dinner in soot- land the chairman began noo gentle man will ye a fill your glasses for im aboot to bring forward thequeen applause odr queen gentleman is really a wonderfu woman if i may say it shes ane a the guid auld sort nae wbigmalcerles or falderals aboot her but a donoe daecent body shes respeotable beyond a doot she has brooht up a grand family o weelfaurd lads and las siesher auldest son besng a credit to ony mither and theyre a weol married ae daughter is nae less than married to the duke o argylls son and heir cheers gentle men yeu maybe no believe it but i arice saw the queen sensation i did it was when i took my auld brown coo tae perth i remember her weel such colour such hair 1 interruption and orles of is it tho coo or the queen ye are proposing the queen gentlemen i beg your pardon but i was talking aboot the coo however as to the queen somebody pointed her out tae me at perth station and there she was smart and tidylike and says i tae mysel gin my auld woman at hamo slips awa ye needna remain a widow anither hour langer cheers noo gentlemen the whuakeys guid the nioht is iang the weather is wet and the roads aro saf t and will harm nae- body that comes tae grief so aff wl yet drink tae the bottom 1 the queen i cheers be had bono his best have yfltt bad a job today tim i in united a wellknown legal gentleman of an equally wellknown draynftn i bedad and i did wor jiow many only two sot f how muohdfa yon est for both jtiventy bents sor seventy cents i how in the world do you expcot to live and keep a horse on sev enty centsa day wejl some day i have halt a dozen jobs sor but business has been dull today sor only the hauling of a thrunk for a gintilman for forty cints an a load av furniture for thirty cints an then was the pots an the 8 kittles an nobody knows fwhatobto a big load sor do you carry trip loads of household fur niture for thirty cents she was a poor wlddvsor an had no more to give me i took all she had sor an bedad or lawyer oduldnt ha done no better than timsunday bye f pittsburg is in despair the bursting of thegreao caststeel gun at annapolis the other day has buried the entire oity in gloom people of all olasses says a pitts burg paper appeared to take it as a personal matter that brobdignagian monster was pittsburgs pet it was expect ed to close the establishments of krupp and armstrong and all other builders of built- up cannon it was to make pittsburg the city of great guns the ohief creator of chill ed steel destroyers therefore when that enormous lump cf highly protected metal was trundled off to be lasted by the govern ment every pittsburger wished it good luok for weeks the citizens had bragged about the gun in publio places and at their own firesides they loved it for the enemies it would reduce to mincemeat fortunately through an oversight they negleoted to name it ben harrison when the knowing government ordnance officers at annapolis had loaded that precious piece of hardware they retired to bombproofa and adjacent states to watch tho result ol the firing fifty pounds of powder and 100 pouud ball had been pushed down the pittsburgers throat the lanyard was pulled and the result was chaos pittsburgs pride was reduced to ecrap iron it was ready for the junk shop krupp and armstrong had not been driven out of business pittsburgs beautiful dream had become a hidoeus night mare now there is wailing by the mon- ongahela a terrible explosive experiments have recently been made at chalons france with the new melinite shell which prove it to be the most terrific instrument of modern warfare the guns are built on the bange system of breech loaders and have a range of about 600 yards they are mounted so as to be fired from any angle from 80 degrees below to 80 degrees above the horizon the projectiles are of two kinds an or dinary shell weighing about 220 pounds and oarrying a percussion fuse and the melinite shell the latter is about three feet in height is steel plated con tains 60 pounds of melinite and when loaded weighs about 230 pounds the charge is about fifteen pounds of powder the effects produced by this melinite shell aro wonder ful in an esoapement wall a single shell opened a breach 9 by 18 fcot a ahull ex ploding upon a casemont left a hole 9 feet deep and 18 feet in diameter and stone vaults wore crushed completely yes wen on bigbeoj who generally has sonwtning pleasant to say of bigbee i came of a race of brave men absolutely fearless eh bigbee inquired downed with awe fearless repeated bigbee lowering his voice impressively why it was an ancestor of mine who first swallow d a raw oyster i the word tacky is a southern collo quialism it was coined by the wealthier or mora refined and educated class for gen eral application to those who were not shel tered by the branches of a family tree who were tainted those who were wealthy and yet had no great grandfathers were tackles the word was used both in con tempt and tn derision it is now nearly ob solete in both senses there are no aristo crats in the south now and therefore no taokies no man who has the instinot of a gentleman is spoken of as a taoky whether he can remember the name of his grandfathers uncle or not but it has its uses it is employed in describing persons of low ideas and vulgar manners whether rich or poor it may mean an absenoe of style in dress anything that is tawdry la tacky a ribbon on the shopkeepers counter a curtain in the bolt a shawl or bonnet a bolt of cloth fresh from the room may be tacky because it is oheap and yet pretentious in louisiana the inferior grade of oreole pontes are known as tack jes brilliant durable economical diamond dyes excel all others in strength purity and fastness none other are just as good be ware of imitations because they are made of cheap and inferior materials and give poor weak crocky colors to be sure of success use only the diamond dyes for coloring dresses stock ings yarns carpets feathers ribbons c c we warrant them to color more goods pack age for package than any other dyes ever made and to give more brilliant and durable colors ask for the diamond and take no other a dress dyed for a coat colored v iq garments renewed j c a child can use them at druggists and merchants dye book free wells richardson co biontkbal p q leatherbelting best value in the dominion fedix0h c0 makers 70 king st e toronto send or pries uta aod dlwounta tout may have one 1 1 jim send your turns and address and 10a for postage and receive by sail a handsome siuxhandkekcheif atgtonlheaeveryone i co toronto out kan iddr addresswhiton novelty are you bald is your hair gray or tailing oul try dr dorenwends canoes send for iii catalogue ffw jejfgjjggi peterporo ont knitting tleortt own machines to save time send for illustrated catalogue of our paissr piklsss cloiuss hums it will be realy very soon ganger tabboxbbob toronto ont ulcers scrofula eta oured permanently without j the knife apply to dr w l smith 124 queen si e toronto f to loam on row owjjt rates no delay correspondence solicited e w d butler financial affl established i860 72 km st e toronto money cancer and tumors cured do fcnue book free das mcmichael no 63 nur st buffalo n y inciitc uautciy1 ulustrated particulars all til i o it ah i eu about the patent pv- lr8s clothes link free on application it new suc cessful and cheap tab box bros toronto ont jj qeautiful story and golden gems jt of religious thought by j w buel and t de witt talmage dd b autitul illustrations color ed and plain handsomely bound large quarto book plain type and just such a book that takes the eye at a glance terms to agents extra liberal william briggs publisher toronto- toronto cutting school gentlemen deiirous of acquiring a thorough knowledge of garment cutting should vialt us scientific and reliable systems taught whereby perfect fitting gar ments are produced circular with full information on application s corrigan prop 122 yonge st toronto guelph business coixege guelfh ont fifth scholastio year- ita graduates are now employed as biokkeepere business managers stenographers etc by many of the largest business houses in canada and the united states young men and women detiriog a thorough business education will consult their own welfare by attending iheguelph business college for terms and particular address m mccormick prinipai bronohitis cured after spending ten winters south was oured by scotts emulsion i4s centre st new york 1 june 26th 1888 j the winter after the great fire in chicago i contracted bronchial affections and since then have been obliged to spend nearly every wlntersouth last november was advised to try scotts emulsion of cod liver oil with hypophosphltes and tomy surprise wasrellevedat once and by continuing its use three montriswasentirely cured gained flesh and strength and was able to stand even the bliz zard and attend to business every day c t churchill sold bu all druggists soe and 100 vawada permanent loansavmgsdompaay incorporated 1855 head office toronto st toronto subscribed capital paid dp capital total asset i i s50o00 3500000 1000000 the onlareed oaplw tud re jouroes ol this company together with lbs increased facilities it hu recently acquired or supplying land owners with oheap money enable the directors to meet with promptness and at the lotfcak current rate ot interest all reqnlremente for loans upon satlsf actorr realestato security application ma be made loca appraisers or to j herbert masonmnajrr director toronto a to either of the oompanyf foung men suffkrikg from the effects of early evlj habits the result of ignorance and folly who and themselve weak nervous and exhausted also uibdlxagbd and old msic who are broken down from the effects of abuse or over work add in advsuced life feel the consequences of youthful excess send for and read m v lubons treatise on the diseases of hen the book will be sent sealed to any address on receipt ot two so stamps address h v lxjbon welllnsion bt b tororrtooat i i ii n qjreat hair it is the finest in the oer1i an magic hair tonic world delicious and nourishing royal dandelion coffee manufactured only by ellis keighley toronto 76 king st w- toronto delays are dangerous dont wait until you are burnt out or robbed buy a safe now and sleep easr and be sura andgtprloaeto of the newchamptonsaf e s s kimball 677 craig st pobox w5 mostrealph i imxv dress and mantle cutting by this new and improved price 1 00 per bottle or 6 boltles for 5 00 try it it will noko your hair grow thick aud strong for sale by all druggists everywhere or send direct to the manufacturer enclosing the amount alma the leading oana dian t ollege fob young women st thomas ont seventeen ratiuatea and certificated teachers in the faculty nearly 200 students last year graduating courses in llteriture musio fine arte commercial science and elocution low rate good bord thorough work mclaughlan hall costing 820000 open elegant dormitories for 6 more btudenta adtfiebs painciral austin b d ladies look berlin wools all colors 8c per oz hetland and andalusian wools 8c per os saxony wool all colors 10c pot akein wool best quality 10c per bill embroidery 3uk eyer shade ioo dozen skeins arraaene all colore 30c dozen skeins filoselle best quality 48c and s5c dozen skeins maorame cord 15 cclora ioo boll felt extra quality 2 yards wide 100 per yaid woolen java canvas all colors 45c yard always on hand the newest mater ala for fanny work at lowest prices letter orders have prompt and careful attention goods can be sent to any part of canada by post write for price list a trial solicit ed henry dayis importer 232 tonge street toronto please mention this paper satisfaction gnaraateed to teach ladles the full art of cutting all garments worn by ladles and children prop smith 349 queen st w toronto ateenta wanted wanted every music teacher in canada to send for special catalogues of sheet musio aud musto books we sell cheaper than any other house in thetrade manufacturers ot band instruments and dealers in all kinds of musical merchandise whaley royce go 2s3 tonge st io3io3srao allan line eoyal mail steamship sailing durinjjwlnter from portland everytburbda id halifax every saturday to liverpool and in sum mer from quebec every saturday to liverpool calling at londonderry to land mails and passengers fo scotland ind ireland also from baltimore via hall fax and st johns n f to liverpool fortnight during summer months the steamers of the olas gow lines sail during winter to andfrom halifax portland boston and philadelphia and during sum mer ltween glasgow and montreal weekly glasgqt and boston weekly and glasgow and phlladelphl- fortnikhtly for freight passage or other information tpply to a schumacher co baltimore s cunard at co halifax shea co st johns nfld wm tbomp son oc st john n b allen at co chicago love tfc aldan new york h bourller toronto allans rao ft co quebeo wm brookie philade- phia h a allen portland boston montreal brown engines irjn ahdsteel boilers any size toronto engine wokks princess and front sis j perkins co toronto stained glass for churches dwellings and publio buildings mcausland son fftr are children toko cheerfully join in the chona whex breadmakert yeast is the subject before to- mamma tried all the rest so the knows its the best lightest cause her bread is the whitest her buns are th a nd we eat alt the pancakes she dare before its buy the breaomakers yeast price 6 cent when i say core i do not mean merely to stop them lor a time and then have them re turn again i mean a radical cure i have made the disease ot fits epilepsy or j palling sickness i a life long study i wabrant my remedy to cube the worst oases because others liavo failed is no reasonfor notnowrecelvlnga cure send at once for a treatise and a fkee bottle of my infallible remedy gfvo express and post office it costs you nothing lor a trial and it will cure you address h g boot ho 164 west adelaide st toronto ont subha beautiful xmas oard tjns the breat strength give perfect food 3vnitexd to for the sick varmih6 b every boy and girl l a one cent stamp and naming this paper address mm johnston fluid beef co 2 st peter street montreal i powerful invigorator w e fbeeltcn ont deo 17th 1888 w co standard chopping usesbestfbenchburr millstones finest crlkomihthe worid korcnewino pistes as in bbantfokd ont i received yonr letter saying you would accept my orderfor 30 inch slmitlar d chopper weasa ship immediately as i 6ann3l at ford to keip buying plates for thb iron grinder and i have a good deal of rinding just now ydnrs truly joshua wheeler replaced three iron grinders lut week them lot sale chetp we have ebous ewtfbrhitfm canaoa use hop bitters re all disealb dt uto stomach bowels blood liver kidney urinary organs nervousne cure sleeplessness fematoomplalntc druhkene88 nervousness- l000 reward paid for a oase they will not our mm m