The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

MARCH 2004 Lsrsmmummmmmus mmmmmmmmmmmp afimmmmmamhambmm.mwdlleb mmmmmmmmwmmmhdmame mmmummmdmmwfim WWW WflmiDmflnfidibedtMMmmmmhnmhm mmwumum Pam Warns-6412368 cremate- mom «Mwmmmmn MSLSMMEOH‘L, MAS“ mmsmmmsmaonmeweb. mkbvmadnmfiatmmflfleonm As York Durham Amdemy ot the Performing Arts gears up for another year of plays, musicals and concerts teaming young peopie from WNtchurch-Stouflville. misphotographtakesusbacktomecommnnysmeatrioei roote.Picturedabove are members of the cast from the trial scene of a local production of Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice. which was performed sometime in the 18908. Optometrist: . ms Hal» 8!. . 905 642-3937 Illstorlc photo submitted cuurtosy‘ot Whltchurch-Stouflvlllo Museum MULLER INSURANCE Home it Auto ' ' 905-642-2745 ‘ 64 Sandlford Drive, Unit 1, , STOUFFVILLE Maybe next time Toronto decides to vie for world class city designation with the help of well-known foreign nationals. it should invite Original Ancient Barbie and Cali Girl Barbie to tie the knot at city hall. At least we can count on them not to put their perfectly arched feet into their mouths in the unfortunate manner of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. If you're looking for distraction from the season of giving to the government. there are plenty of other weighty matters demanding attention these days, such as the shocked and appalled community's reaction to the ban mots emanating from the lips of Don Cherry and Conan O'Brien, or the devastating news that Ken and Barbie have decided to go their separate ways. Despite official denials. rumour has it that the newly-minted Call Girl Barbie came between the ageing lovebirds. Since resistance is useless. at least there are plenty of places to get advice about minimizing your tax bill and maximizing your investments. from the lntemet to your favourite women's magazine. But however hard i try, i find myself nodding off before I've even finished reading headlines like 'Build your own RRSP with ETFs', or 'Deductions. deferrals. credits, shelters and splitting'. "Based on an annual operating budget of $180 billion, the amount represented .015 cent of the tax dollars entrusted to the government. It would be as if lhad deposited $l00,000 in a shoe box and left it in someone else's care, only to find some time later that S! 5 had gone missing." When you look at it like that, my lowly contribution to government coffers would- n't pay for a single nmblt. And if they're willing to overlook the mysterious disap- pearance of the odd $l00 million, you'd think they could stretch a point for small- buclget working étiffs for once. but you'd be wrong. Or you could follow the logic of well-known pollster Allan Gregg. who lent his own unique brand of clarity to the scandal by referring to the missing funds as a drop in the tax bucket. "The amount in question is $100 million over a fourâ€"year period, or approximately $25 million a year," he wrote in T he Globe and Mail. When you discover that you do not have the wherewithal to pay what you owe, you could try the Chretien defence, that "a few million dollars stolen" is a small price to pay for your personal Contribution to the enhancement of life in Canada. Chances are. alas, that the cavalier attitude of our former dear leader is unlikely to carry much weight with the Revenue Canada contingent -- lately rebranded as the Canadian Revenue Agency. but no less intent on getting a hefty percentage of your annual stipend -- whose iauntiness quotient owes more to Oliver Cromwell than the little guy from Shawinigan. Late winter, with its mind-numbing wind chill factors andarmy of self-improve- ment gurus nagging you to get back into physical and fiscal shape, is also the time when you can no longer ignore the unpalatable prospect of preparing to fill out your tax return. lust when cabin fever is at itS'zenith and your social life is about as rivetâ€" ing as an in-depth analysis of Stephen Harper's leadership strategy, you are forced to unearth those coffee-stained gas receipts and illegible restaurant bills you have been hoarding in a safe place. in an attempt to avoid paying more than your fair share of the Liberal Party's burgeoning laundry bill. "Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut save you 30 cents?" Peg Bracken. \ It’s A llrop In The Bucket, near Taxpayers Ate ‘la carte 'WHITCHURCH-STOUFFVILLE THIS MONT H' (77 I'Tl‘f‘ll ’II'D‘V ‘l I Hn'l'l