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children? Do parents hold elevatâ€" ed academic expectations for their kids? Is a ‘C’, a ‘D' or an ‘E’, deserving of censure and reproach? Are most moms and dads satisfied with noth- ing less than A's? When these questions were asked by Dr. Karyn Gordonduringaworkshop last week at Stoufl'ville Dis- trict Secondary School, several hands went up. So did eyebmws when Dr. Gordon criticized adults who, sometimes unconâ€" sciously, place too much emphasis on this form of academic tabulation. “Children,” she said, “can’t control their marks, but they can control their efforts; they can control how hard they Too many parents focus on results, she said, like “how many A’s did you get?” She likened this to the authoritative approach of an army ser- geant-major. New look at A,B,Cs with teen expert Dr. Gordon, considered one of North America's leading authorities on motivating teenagers and pre-teens, urged parents to work as partners with their children rather than managers. “Focus on what you can control and accept what you can’t," she said. She placed character develop- ment as atop priority. The speaker captuned the attention of her audiâ€" ence by telling her own personal story. In Grade 8, she said, tests indicated a learning disability. Never once, she recalled. did her parents ask to see a report card. In Grade 9, she barely passed. However, in Grade 10, her average shot up to 85 per cent. Follow- ing graduation from high school, she went on to receive a doctorate in mar- riage and family counsel- ing, become a radio and television host, a moti- vational speaker and an author of several books. Dr. Gordon advised parents to work as a team with their children, always accentuating the positive. “Don’trescueyourchilâ€" dren; don't make excuses for them.” she said. “Your sons and daughters must eventually learn to deal with failure." "Be good role models," she urged. Dr. Gordon expressed delight so many young people had taken time out from busy lives to attend the workshop. Satisfying too. she said. is the fact high school drop-out rates re mid-term report cards received with fear and trem- bling by your are continually decreas- ing, down to nine per cent in 2005. Beverley Madigan, the new principal at SDSS, described Dr. Gordon's work as “phenomenal”. Parents agreed. As a bird-watcher living in Stoufl’ville, sightings are limited. I must be satisfied with feathered friends most see every day includ- ing robins, goldfinch, blue jays, starlings and crows. Ugly moment However, this summer, a sharp-shinned hawk was an unwelcome visitor, making a quick meal of a docile mourning dove. That was unusual. But nothing will likely equal a recent experience on Webb Road, northeast of Stouffville. I spotted what looked like the remains of a rac- coon or a fawn. There was so little left, it was difficult to tell. However, perched atop the carcass were two birds, the size of which I’d never seen. I brought the car to a skidding stop only a few feet from their intended meal. They relucâ€" tantly took flight, circling high above a row of trees, content to await my exit. Back home, I went to the All About Birds site on my computer. Lo and behold, there it was, a photo and a description. I’d interrupted the love feast of two turkey vultures. Roaming Around “We see them all the time," one rural resident said. But not in Stouffville. Thank heaven for that! They're awesome but they’re ugly, sporting wingâ€" spans of more than six feet. Their facial features are devoid of feathers, givâ€" ing them a menacing look. Not the kind of creature you'd want for a pet. To country folk, these birdsarecommon. The turkey vulture, while repulsive except to its mate, does a great deal of good by clearing fields and roadsides of cam'on ranging from raccoons to cows. Initially, seeing was not believing. But now I know. ]im Thomas is a Smufli/ille resident who has written for area newspapers for mom than 50 ymrs. with Iim Thomas SPECIALS IN EFFECT UNTIL CLOSING SUNDAY, OCT. 19‘m Hours: Mon, 11:00-7z00 ~ Tucs.â€"Thurs. 9:00â€"7:00 ~ Fri. 9:00-8:00 .NDHENOEM Sat. 9:00~6:00 ~ Sun. 10:00-5:00 . “Pf” ‘ 548 Carlton Road, Unionville www. thcvillagcgroccr. com Stoujfville Sun-Tribune. Thursday, Oct. 16, 2008 940- 1770