economist sunsuntfiune justice saturday uly 9 2005 r victim speaks outabout devastating affect of child abuse on her life fqnhergwrginaftjsterpareiitand child pornograpffer vfeyhe relf pleadgdiltytoonecountof sextial interference in jiine he is serving 83 days inprisori for this crime v he admitted to inappropriately touching girt under his care from when she was sevenuritil she fumed 16 during the 90s- he was sentenced to one year in prison but wasgiverfa twoforone day credit for time served in toronto on another child sex charge prior to the conviction reducing his sentence to 83 days the sentence did not take into account his previous conviction for making a pornographic video of his foster daugh ter because the latest conviction was for abuses that took place before the child pornography charges the legal sys tem treated it as a firstoffence the following was written by one of his victimswho cannot be identified when i was seven my parents divorced and when 1 was eight my mother married wayne relf my mother and i did not have the best of relationships at that time and she was very strict mr relf took advantage of the situation and offered me tilings in exchange for sexual favours these things would range from money to out ings or persuading my mother to allow me to do something i was not normally allowed to do i was only eight so it is now dif ficult to remember how it all began or how it was introduced when i was 1 2 my mother and mr relf became foster parents so my mother could stay home as my entire childhood she worked very long hours and i did not see much of her a few years later one of our fos ter children accused mr relf of touching her inappropriately the childrens aid society was involved they asked me in front of mr relf if i saw anything or if i had anything to add considering the situation and the fear mr relf had set into me i denied anything happened and told them nothing more no charges were laid and the complaint was dropped now i ask myself if i was approached differently would my answer have been different i do not know mr relf said if i s told my mother she would not believe me and no one else would either i was terrified of what would happen i also didnt think he would do it to anyone else this continued until i was 1 6 and moved out with my boyfriend my late teen years were very rough as i dropped out of school i had a college fund that was set up by my parents and i was told as long as i continued my education ra graduated lived at home arid was accepted there was enough to pay for me to go to law school tilings did not work out and i moved in with my biological father i did go back to school at 17 and graduated by doing really hard work during this time i gained about 150 pounds trying to make myself unattractive it has taken a huge toll on my health i moved out when my father separated from his second wife and was on my own again i had jobs here and there to keep me going and met a man who i was with for nine years during this time i was at my mothers to babysit her foster children my mother and i went on mr relf s computer to look at the weather network and accidentally found a movie made on a webcam of my foster sister my motlier and 1 called police and he was arrested and charged he admitted to my mother that evening what he had done to me after i asked him to at the time the police approached me but i was not in any state of mind to make a statement or go through what i had lived all those years ago to complete strangers he was convicted of child pornography charges l should in a fair and normal society know you are protected and safe not just from murderers and robbers but from men who prey on innocent young children take their hopes dreams and innocence and give them a pain so harsh so unbearable for the rest of their lives unfortunately my relationship did not work i moved out and eventually moved in withmy first love this is the man with whom i moved out with when i was 16 we were both young and immature but loved each other very much help available for victims if you need to disclose sexual assault or abuse there are places to turn the york region domestic abuse and sexual assault care centre offers med ical attention up to 72 hours after ari attack as well as counselling for those who are disclosing weeks months or years after an attack the service is confidential and police are notcalled unless the victim wants them to be we do suggest victims tell someone that they trust someone close to them a friend or family member program co- ordinator gail rehfeld said its much better to confide in at least one other person thahcarry it alone its also important they know theyre not alone it happens to other people too call 9058321406 and press 3 other resources include york region abuse program 905-853- 3040 provides assessments treatment and counselling of victims of child abuse childrens aid society 9058952318 18007183850 to report a child being abused or neglected kids help phone 18006686868 for children who need to talk to someone family services york region 1-866-415- 9723 markharh 18888209986 richmond hill- 18882233999 new- market provides individual arid family counselling community crisis response service cope 9053 102673 24hour emer gency line for individuals families and children experiericingan emotional crisis martin derbyshire we could not get tilings to work due to our age and personal prob lems i was having at die time i was trying to keep a relation ship with my mother but had to see my stepfather every time i saw her and wasnt able to tell her of past events this drove a wedge in the relationship with my boyfriend i am now getting mar ried to my first love and things are slowly beginning to improve it is very difficult to get through such an oideal and i dont think one ever truly recovers for years i felt as though it was my fault i felt as though i was a hook er as the years passed i realized it was wrong and the confusion turned into denial as it was much easi er to deal with i was robbed of my childhood my innocence and my schooling to become a lawyer i will never give up the dream to become a lawyer and maybe one day i will financial ly be able to pursue that dream i am currently seeking coun selling as i still feel i have put these issues under lock and key in the back of my head and have not dealt with them it is difficult to find counselling or help as the government does not provide many oneonone pro fessional services unless you are willing to pay a hefty fee i know i am an extremely strong woman as i never turned to drugs and alcohol as a pain reliever how ever tempting but instead took what happened to me buried it and continued on the journey of life if you cant change something there is ho point focusing on it the police and victim witness program were excellent they helped me in any way they could and kept me informed sec problem page 9 by martin derbyshire staff writer the news wayne relf is serv ing 83 days in prison for sexual interference has many question ing our child sex abuse laws whyare judges so lenient and why is the government so lenient and so unwilling to walk the walk when it comes to protecting our children asked dolina smith president of canadians address- ing sexual exploitation it just blows my mind this government will not put laws forth to protect our kids justice minister irwin cotler says those laws are on the way the liberals introducedlegis- lation in october designed to pro tect children from sexual exploita tion violence and rieglecti- bi11c2 proposes broadening the definition of- child pornography creating a new prohibition against advertising childporn increasing maximum penalties for child porn and other child- related sex offences and narrowing existing defences but will it be good enough yqrksimcoe conservative mp peter van loan looks at mr- relfs casefn his ridirigand thinks hot i vv- there still a lot- that needs to bv done he said were con cerned the courts are not taking this 1 seriously ieriough there must be more serious conse- quences for repeat offenders without mandatory- mini- mum sentenced and- trie elimiha tion of conditional sentences early release and- twoforrorie credits for sex bffehdersjmeiib- efals latest bill falls short he said- what- we need is stronger minimum sentences not maxi- mums since- the judges aire ignoring the maximums any- way ms smith said agreeing billc2maynbtgofarehoiign i ms smith would like to see the bill include 90day minimum sentences for any child porn conviction and two years less a r day for a second offence j t v right nowrthe law amounts 1 to a slap with a wet noodle and a warning theyir take your com puter away she said- i y bill was adopted june 9 and is before the senate third reading will begin next week markham mx fftl- i sffehfmeas- on what are you waiting for this subscription season is selling like wildfire our createyourown subscription format offers more choices greater 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