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p 4 the tribunethursday april 23 1998 thursday april 23 1998 vol 110 no 32 the tribune is a member of the ontario press council st the tribune imons send your letters to the editor to the address below editorial ecovoices dimmed earth week has come around again and in these times of growth and economic recovery it is all to easy to forget the meaning behind the environmental movements time in the spotlight environmentalism has taken a backseat in the last few years as ontario residents spent more time worrying about their livelihoods and yet the need for a strong environmental voice is as great as ever lake ontario still has thousands of tons of waste dumped into it each year development continues to erode precious farmland we still use our cars to drive to the corner store and our recycling programs are on the verge of crumbling from ponderous costs we still cant seem to manage to put together a gta transit system that would reduce smog and conserve fossil fuels and our landfill situation still looms on the horizon we still have aging nuclear plants within a stones throw the safety of which must be of concern we are still a consumer society which demands overpackaged plastic and nonrenewable materials litter is all over the place and we still cannot seem to give up toxic chemicals to perk up our lawns and gardens there are those who continue to blare the environmental clarion call but their noise has been dimmed of late now that we are on a muchheralded road to economic recovery in this province we must make time for our envi ronment for our future the old ecoadage from the late 80s still offers the right message for the late 90s think globally act locally r news item a wetdry garbage system could replace the blue boxes in york region this ones still dry ju5t- im nearly immortal according to test governed by the belief that the worst thing in life is to outlive your money i decided to take stock by my banks calculations my money will run out at 335 pm fri day according to a life expectancy test taken a few days ago im going to live to be 102 im in a fix reality is jumping out of the soup and biting me where do i find the money to cover 49 years and four months since misery likes company its good to know that im not alone according to stats canada canadi ans are all living longer as well men are continuing to catch up to women in the longevity stakes men will jive to 755 years the average canadian life expectancy hit a record high of 786 women live longer at 814 years how come i exceed the national average by a whopping 22 years bet ter yet why am i being punished was i a bad girl in my other- life off the record joan ransberry my test resultwas based on person al information gender current age height and weight education com pleted and personality type of course family history plays a key role in life expectancy since none of my parents or grandparents died of natural causes before 60 and since none died of cancer or childhood onset diabetes they did much to put me in the very old lady league the test asked nosy questions about my blood pressure and cholesterol life style was also covered the test wanted to know if i have any fun i dont it asked if i drank- alcohol smoked cigarettes daily or smoked marijuana once a week or more the answer is no to all three my eating habits were explored since i eat low fat food with five or more portions of fruit exercise at least three times a week go for regu lar doctor exams practice nothing but safe sex avoid sky diving havent had a car accident in a few years look both ways before cross ing the street wear my seat belt and havent been charged with drunk dri ving recently i gained year after year on the test i did not get a perfect score thank goodness im 17 pounds overweight and ive got a serious personality problem if i was thin and if it werent for my aggressive intense and quick- toanger personality id be immortal so what am i going to do lets look at the options id always planned to grow old disgracefully but that takes a lot of cash and id planned when the time came to be a major burden to my children im a score settler from way back so what are the chances of the kids taking care of their frail old mother my three sons are 36 35 arid where is the logic reader asks deareditor three very interesting news items concerning main street stouffville have been printed recently i would appreciate your help in understanding the logic behind them item no 1 traffic lights because of damaged vehicles these automobiles at main street and fairview ave appear to be on town property and bbstructing traffic letters item no 2 no new stores because of competition to exist ing business competition perhaps a donut shop or restau rant item no 3 beautify main street this can be done with the additional traffic lights because of parked cars of forgetting free enterprise and allowing vacant lots and buildings to dete riorate perhaps the entrances to stouffville to indicate that a town exists instead of telling some busi ness people in town howthey want their buildings and property to look these so called do- gooders should start in their own backyard bill beu stouffville 3 1 because my sons are of the weaker sex their life expectancy is 755 years wouldnt you know it those boys will be long gone and ill still have 20 years to go my daughters are 34- and 29 theyll outlive their brothers but theyll be over 80 when i enter the home stretch while my daughters have lots of spunk now theres no guarantee that theyll be up to pushing my wheelchair up the hill lets look at my inheritance potential my parents are threatening to live foreyer so thats out when i took the test my main man took it too according to the test gerry will live to be 87 wouldnt you know it gerrys going to leave me high and dry when im 83 ill be alone for 19 long years after our test results were in i offered to put gerrys name on my life insurance if hed put mine on his he grinned of course a sensible girls standby has always been marry money ive never been accused of being sensible besides i ask gerry to marry me two or three times a day he just grins and once i even asked if he has any money he grinned this mans going to grin himself to death i could hit the big one in the lottery since i always forget to buy a ticket my chances arent good ive run out of options i guess ill be forced to work theres asnag this com pany like all companies kicks us out when were 65 that reality leaves me without a pay cheque for 37 years apparently i will get some kind of pen- sion when the company and the govern ment decide that im all used up one of these days ill check it out until thenj ill rely oh my faith remember- the meek shall inherit the earth im not going to do a thing to jeopardize my inheritance v stouffville tribune patricia pappas publisher andrew mair editorinchief tracy kibble editor debra weller director of advertising mike rogerson retail advertising manager 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