The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

tfj i v i cvamvij t vjt p 1 8 weekender saturday december 20 1 997 sjux p f is c a ltfe n d u p a tb0 p p 0 s e af 0 l lohc 0 1 n a 6 e9jw h 0 r l s r i pas tiih u r r y 0 piaik 0 a 1 t uuhuo ouuue ue3 uaa beo aaaucia aaauiauei bed aaaa aaaa uuudciehidod aaaa qqhoejh edgejh mult i pil y festive fiascos common at our place although christmas comes at the same time every year i never fail to be surprised by its arrival when i first got married the only things i could cook were boiled eggs and toast so it took a lot of courage not to say stu pidity to invite my mother two of her friends and my brothers to dinner the christmas after mr wallethead and i were joined in connubial bliss i bought a turkey which was roughly the size of a small horse and called my mother figuring she would know what to do with it i followed her instructions with elaborate care and by 1 pm a delicious smell was wafting through the apart ment lunch was ready but the kates corner kate gilderdale designated eaters were nowhere to be seen by 2 pm the turkey was somewhat past its prime and everything else was to put it mildly well done at 215 the doorbell rang to herald the arrival of our guests but before i could steer them in the direc tion of the table my spouse was taking orders for preprandial drinks it was sometime after 330 before we actually sat down to eat i heaved the turkey out of the here are the sunoco stations in your area that are ready to help you earn your caa membership free 5739 hwy 7 e marklmm 831 0 woodbine ave markham 3700 steeles ave e markham 5946 main st stouffville 7750 mccowan rd markham 6 union ave port perry caa membership rebate increases from 2 to 25 after your combined annual sunoco purchases exceed 2000 sunocd oven and attempted to transfer it to the carving dish it was so well cooked that most of the meat fell off en route and the resulting dish was more like turkey stew the potatoes on the other hand were like bullets and the vegetables depressingly reminiscent of the unlovely school dinners of my youth a singularly unappetizing crust had formed over the bread sauce and the plum pudding which i had completely forgot ten about had boiled dry leav ing me with a vat of brandy butter and nothing to accompa ny it for the next few years until we crossed the pond i wisely left my mother and mother-in- law to take it in turns to cook the turkey by the time i got back to preparing the christ mas repast my culinary acu men had run the gamut from rare pork chops to the occa sional gourmet triumph and my roasting skills were showing a vast improvement my next fes tive fiasco occurred five weeks after our son was born mal colm was a bonny baby whose idea of a good time was to sleep all day and cry all night by the time dec 24 1978 hove into view chateau gilderdale was sadly lacking the customary ho ho ho of the season after a silent breakfast of slightly congealed poached eggs we spent christmas day with friends and returned in the early hours of the evening only to fall asleep watching a bibli cal epic starring who else charlton heston and a cast of mad roman chariot drivers dinner that year consisted of two tiny shrivelled cornish hens and a box of uncle bens long grain and wild rice this year i am as unprepared as ever i didnt even get as far as buying cards never mind sending them but at least i know whats for dinner and how to cook it and ive finally trained my children to sleep through the night merry christmas and a happy new year to one and all the timing couldnt be better to bring it home to honda timing belts from theres no price like home see dealer for details genuine honda brake service theres no price like home see dealer for details tires off all michelin tires taxes extra theres no price like home see dealer for details genuine battery from ggr tqy taxes extra theres no price like home dealer for details mmm mmm honda vehicles only expires dec 3197 north markham homqa 46 i hwy 7 j west of kennedy rd unionville 47 7 245tt courtesy shuttle service available service hours mon wed thurs fri 730 530 pm tues 730 800 pm sat 900 100 pm e3qe3e3e3 genuine parts 1 and service honda buiit without compromise u