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p 4 weekender saturday july 1 91997 st the tribune saturday july 19 1997 vol 13 no 29 comment opinions send your letters to the editor to the address below editorial not too late to find or post a summer job its not too late to find or post a summer job but youll have to do it soon summer employment offices in the area are closing down in the next few weeks the markham summer employment office of human resources canada in markville shopping centre will be closing july 30 and the richmond hill office which also posts some stouffvillearea jobs will be closing aug 1 uxbridge students and employers are serviced through a pickering office which will be closing aug 13 but supervisors from all these offices report there are still jobs available for students and they encourage homeowners to list their odd jobs as well got some home repair or improvement projects in mind this sum mer got the spare cash but not the time to do it why not consider hiring a student from your community theyre ready and willing to do whatever work projects are out there does your deck need a thorough cleaning arid fresh coat of stain how about those broken cobblestone pathways and steps have a fence in need of repairs how about those overgrown weeds and trees in your garden does your driveway cry out to be resealed the gar den shed or garage might need a new coat of paint if you have a stouffvillearea job call 4773066 uxbridge jobs should be posted in the pickering office by calling 8317651 if youre a stouffville student looking for work check out the jobs posted in the markville shopping centre employment office or the richmond hill office in hillcrest mall uxbridge students may call the pickering office at 8317651 and ask about uxbridgearea job opportunities kids bloopers guaranteed to get laughs kids say the darndest things art linkletter book title they certainly do and nobody knows it better than the star- crossed professionals who get to spend most of their working hours with our kids their teach ers teachers get to mark tests and examinations and thats where the teachers learn that some kids dont retain infor mation quite as effi ciently as others hence the student blooper phenomenon herewith a collection of some of the more out rageous howlers com mitted to paper by our little darlings science with a ven geance we get- our temperature in different ways either fairinheit cellcius or centipede one horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second a molecule is so small it cant be ob served by the naked ob server famous bloopers famous people of sci ence dont escape the swipe of bloopism one student wrote that the law of gravity was passed by isaac newton while another insisted that the russian pavlov was famous for studying the salvation of dogs young students seem to have an even shakier grasp of biology in a class report one child wrote our biology class went out to explore the swamp and to collect little orgasms and another juvenile chronicler recorded in biology today we di gested a frog you want to hope that basic black arthur black editorial was antiamerican and full of facile comments dear editor accepting the dictionary descrip tion of the function of an editor as giving the opinion or attitude of the paper regarding some subject it is disappointing to read in your july 12 editorial chretiens comments just friendly criticism that canadians know americans can be a bunch of blowhards that theyre arrogant often rude and insulated from the rest of the world i am an american and both my canadian husband and myself feel letters that if the above facile comments do not reflect your editorial policy then we expect a published retrac tion and apology and also feel that your editor should not be using his column to promulgate his personal views lucile davies unionville these kids dont choose a medical career the big artery in your neck is called the jocu lar vein the pelvis protects the gentiles a permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines two molars and eight cuspidors and this description the heart beats faster when you are younger average when you are middle age hardly at all when you are old and not at all when you are dead zounds of music the zounds of music music sung by two people is called a duel a harp is a nude piano my favorite compos er is an opus agnus dei was a wo man composer famous for her church music a very liked piece is the bronze lullaby putting the litter in literature shake speare was famous for writing and performing tragedies comedies and hysterectomies shakespeare wrote his plays in islamic pen tameter a great jewish leader in scotland was rabbi burns i like the story the last of the moccasins in ibsens ghosts oswald dies of conge nial syphilis jake barnes in the sun also rises was in jured in the groin region and was impu dent for the rest of his life and then of course theres history both ancient and modern roman invasion one student noted that rome was invaded by the ballbearings another explained that the bolshevik party was led by john lennon and my favorite a student commenting on fashion in ancient egypt early egyptian women wore a garment called a calasirus it was a sheer dress which started beneath the breasts which hung to the floor man jf that didnt make egyptian guys im pudent nothing would stouffville tribune weekender a metroland community newspaper patricia pappas publisher andrew mair editorinchief julie caspersen editor debra weller director of advertising phyllis ritchie retail advertising manager stacey allen classified manager barry goodyear director of distribution vivian oneil business manager pamela nichols operations manager about us vs news 905 6402100 itatah sales 905 6402100 classifieds 9056402874 distribution 905 6402100v fax 905 6405477 6241 n st stouffville ont the tile tribune pub lished every tuesday thursday and saturday i one of the meuoland priming publishing and distribu tion gmup of community newspa pers which include ajnxpukerlog mabu lfftir4linp alltrrrwn tfenljt guardian burilngton post citypar- entcolhjpvaod7wasbga beach con i nection east york mirror ktobicoke i guardian georgetown indepen- dentacton free mss kingston this week tintuaythl8week 3 markham jeconom j u mid sauga jfkotmurora erabanner northunjberland news north york mirrotv oakville beaver v oritlia today oshawawhltbyclius ingtonpart perry thii week peterftis borough this week richmond s hlhthornhillvoughan liberal scarborough mirror and uxbridge tribune todays seniors contents- banhol be reprinted without written permission from the publisher per- s roit 1247 the publisher reserves j the right to refuse or classify aris ndvertisomeni credit for advertiser letters policy the tribune welcomes your letters to the editor please keep letters to no more than 300 words note that letters may be edited for space libel spelling grammar while we endeavor to print as many letters as possible we regret that not all letters may be 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