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p 4 weekender september 2 1995 stux file on dumb crooks is overflowing the time has come my friends to dip once again into the dumb crooks pile that is where your obedient scrivener keeps his collection of recent news reports illustrating the proposition that citizens of the outlaw persuasion are not all that bright that they more often fall into a corner of histo rys dustbin reserved for idiots dunderheads buffoons and chowderbrains with a lower collective iq than a sackful of turnips examples just about every where you look last weeks copy of the international her ald tribune for instance which carried the sad tale of gerald lyndell voyles mister voyles a native floridian recently turned up before the desk of the sheriff of bartow florida he was there to collect a 3000 reward he said a reward that was being offered for the apprehension of a man wanted for murder a man by the name pfger- basic black arthur black aid lyndell voyles thafs right gormless ger ald actually expected to collect the bounty that had been placed on has own head proceed directly to jail ger ald a convict named hubert schurr was a little more enter prising than voyles but not a whole lot swifter schurr man aged to break out of a peniten tiary on the outskirts of ham burg germany last month schurr made it to the shoulder of an autobahn clambered up to the roadway and stuck out his thumb schurr was one lift away from disappearing into the ahem tenderloin district of hamburg and look a car is slowing down pulling off to the side of the road exultant schurr yanks open the passen ger door preparing to thank the driver only to find himself staring into the unamused puss of one gerhard stroh warden of the joint schurr had escaped from schurr got a lift alright but it involved a uturn another german crook con victed- bank robber heinrich kroiss escaped from a ger- man maximum security prison at about the same time he was arrested three days later but he had a perfectly reason able explanation he hadnt escaped at all hed been kid- napped by space aliens beam me up herr scotty theres no intelligent life here and a case of fumbling felony much closer tohome in monc- ton new brunswick where susan stokes recently found herself in the dock ms stokes was posing as a fortune teller and taking money for her pre- l dictions it wasnt a big deal the judge only dinged her 25 bucks or one day in jail so the score is now what justice 4 crooks 0 ill leave you with the tale of steve a desperado who proves the bad guys arent always as dumb as dirt steve is a chap who phoned up the security office at philadelphia international airport recently he was m maintenance he explained he had to do some work on the automatic teller machines for the next hour or so so they should just ignore the security alarm if it happened to go off jthe alarm went off the security guards yawned and worked on their donuts a passing citizen finally called police and a squad of uniforms eventually arrived they found the door to the cash dispenser swaying the brbezel fifty thousand dollars was missing steve was too community involvement in our schools enhances student learning the york region board of education encourages community participation in the development of school councils school councils advisory committee the board of trustees will appoint public school supporters in york region to the committee made up of parents community members staff trustees and federationunion representatives to oversee the consultation process develop policy and act as an advisory body during the implementation of school councils application forms are available at local schools public libraries and community education centres or by contacting superintendent of schools bill gordon 905 7646830v the deadline for applications is september 15 1995 school councils discussion and consultation copies of school councils a discussion and consultation paper are available at local libraries and- schools for members of the community who want to learn more about the development and implementation of school councils or have input in the process opportunities for community consultation will include community meetings written submissions and telephone options vk billcrothcrs chair bill hogarth director of education wwhwww l hm l i w twni ptial eye glass tradein sale trade in an old pair of glasses receive off the purchase price of a complete pair of rx glasses frames lenses eleanor fulcher international models now ready to scout for new faces join torontos favourite modelling agency 35 years of success fall sign ups accepted now for kids teens adults all ages heights required proud winner of the international educational award 5 consecutive years call now downtown markham 4169221945 9052948413 listen for us on hi j- wj sanctuary spa trade in glasses must be presented at time of purchase one trade in per purchase not valid with any other coupons discounts sale items packages or nonprescription sunglasses m 50 minimum purchase expires oct 3195 trade in glasses will be donated to charitable organizations packtoschool special ch1ldrens package offer includes a nintendo frame with regular cr39 plastic lenses glasses for children 12 yrs under contact lens sale 99 00 buy 2 pair for see store for details the tribune weekender edition ametoound community newtpaprr patwciapappass publisher jo ann stevenson editorinchief andrew hair general manajereditor debraweller director of advertising barry goodyear director of distribution vivian oweil business manager pamela nichols operations manager the tribune published every wednesday and sxqifleeolle all enquiries 905 6402100 fax 9056405477 6244 main st stouftviue ont uxbripge all enquiries 9058529741 90s 8524741 88 brock st w uxbridge ont saturday is one of the metroland printing pub lishing and distributing group of suburban newspapers which includes markham econo mist and sun ajax pickering news advertiser auroranewmarket era banner barrio advance brampton guardian burlington post cityparent coliingwood connection etobicoko guardian georgetown independentacton free press kingston this week lindsay this week milton canadian champion misissauga news northumberland news north york mirror oakville beaver orillia today oahawa-whitby- clarington this week peterborough this week richmond hhithornhillvaughan liber al scarborough mirror todays seniors con tents not to be reproduced without written per mission from the publisher permit 1247 is your child one of these neglected by teachers unmotivated learning disabled bright and bored marks too low for universityor college needs better reading writing or arithmetic learning english as a second language we help students the big schools cant now in markham uxbridge prep education services for special children call the principal 9056495305 notice whitchurch stouffvnie minor hockey association 19951996 hockey registration registration will be held at the stouffville recreation complex wednesday sept 6th from 500 pm to 800 pm for info call peter harmsen 6422989