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st tribune may 17 1995 p 9 people pen pal relationship sets stage for marriage by bruce stapley correspondent ted barry will cross the pond to get married next spring culmi nating a series of events which began when his late wife struck up a 40year pen pal relationship with his current fiance in grade 5 and for the 65yearold stouf- fville area farmer and his intend ed janette steele of scotland the union is proof that life can deliver unexpected blessings in the wake of tragedy barry who has worked his 75- acre cauliflowercabbage farm for 42 years lost marion his wife of 31 years to cancer in 1990 steeles husband and 21yearold son had both died within months xf each other in 1984 a steele and marion barry had met for the first time ever when steele paid her long time pen pal a visit in 1985 while still recover ing from the grief of her double loss the two had started writing each other as part of a class pen pal project when marion was a student at sandford public school near uxbridge and j steele was attending a school in rutherglen scotland j the year after marions death steele contacted barry before leaving for a holiday with her daughter and soninlaw in flori da she said she was coming to america and that maybe we could get together for coffee barry recalls with a chuckle it turned out however that barrys i own daughter and soninlaw were planning a florida vacation at the same time barry accom panied them and met with steele the following summer steele stopped off to visit barry on a oneday stopover in toronto on her way to vancouver then returned for five days oh her way back the two began to contact each other regularly by phone and barry made the first of four trips to scotland in the spring of 1992 janette steele of scotland and stouhvilles ted barry will be married in scotland next spring the couple got to know each other as a result of barrys late wife marions 40year pen pal relationship with steele steele came and stayed for a month that summer and after barrys second trip to scotland that fall the couple accompanied a stouffville united church group which was taking a two- week tour of texas early in 1993 last year barry surprised steele when he showed up at the door with a bouquet of flowers for her 60th birthday party im not really a romantic type of person but that just about knocked her off her feet recalled barry with a smile the two have continued to exchange visits on a regular basis with the get togethers increasing in length each time steele retired in 1992 while barry continues to work on a scaled down basis on his 75acre cauliflowercabbage farm barry is hoping to be accompa nied by his three children their spouses and his seven grandchil dren when he and steele get married near glasgow next spring the site of the honeymoon has nt been decided but the couple might go to ireland where barrys father was born then it will be back to stouf fville as the newlyweds take up residence at the barry farm they will return to scotland for three months each year to visit steeles daughter and her family shes giving up a heck of a lot to come here barry said barry said his family has given its approval of his marrying steele theyre all quite delighted because they know janette the grandkids all want to talk to her on the phone when i call her my twoyearold granddaughter kelsey once said to her on the phone why dont you marry grandpa then you can be our grandma as for his phone bills barry said hed rather not think about it lets just keep that quiet he smiled barry said he was over whelmed by the support he received from family members the congregation at stouffville united church and the commu nity after marions death when i lost marion i was dev astated but the great support everybody gave me kept me going i attend church regularly and janette says she already knows more people at my church than she ever did in her own church in scotland barrys convinced his late wife would smile upon the relation ship between her 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