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p4 weekender march 4 1995 stux sovereignty is no longer an issue so now the parti quebecois wants to change the question perhaps its time the politi cians in quebec realized that the people in quebec dont want to leave canada no matter how the pq and bloc quebecois try to slice it their dream of a sovereign que bec is not going to come true the reason is the people who live in the province just arent buying the separatist babble any longer they know a good thing when they see it this country with all its faults all its petty nasty little differences and jealousies is still the best place in the world to live an island of quebec alone in the sea of north amer- alan shackleton ica simply makes no sense and the parti quebecois knows it too thafs why they want to change the question now they want to make eco nomic union with canada a part of the referendum ques tion why dont they just give up the whole idea the latest in this continuing nonsense is a push by many within the quebec sovereignty movement to delay the referen dum until the political climate will make their prospects of winning better to achieve that im sure theyll create some con stitutional crisis to raise the hackles of quebecers while at the same time prompting viru lent antifrench canadian com ment from those elements of english canada which can be relied upon to rise to such a bait the average canadian is sick to death of the sovereignty issue and for a good part of our population it means nothing immigrants from other parts of the world will certainly find the history of the plains of abra ham fascinating but the two solitudes of french and eng lish hold little relevance to them its 1995 and were still squabbling over a battle which took place in 1759 we should be looking towards the future but were letting our selves get caught up in the prob lems of the past we have to start dealing with free trade the global marketplace our own deficit woes and the ever- slirinking world around us this ridiculous debate on quebec sovereignty is not helping our economy one bit lets move forward lets make quebec end this thing once and for all and get on with the business of being canada bloopers off and running in radio career i am a radio person every week i put on my cleanest tshirt stumble down to my radio studio and babble for an hour and a half in between spinning discs allow me to enumerate some of the great benefits of being a radio person 1 you dont have to dress up i meanlook at this tshirt 2 you dont need a strong back even your heaviest script could nt weigh in at more than one one and a half kilos tops 3 its not a dangerous job what are the hazards micrc- phonelash scriptburn 4 your mother wont give you a hard time about being a radio person true shed rather you had a trade like plumbing or beating up somalis but at least youre warm and dry and youre not consorting with those brazen tvhussys 5 its a job moms forgive any thing that yields a regular pay- cheque there are innumerable benefits in being a radio person but there are hazards too more to the point there is one hazard the blooper bloopers are to radio persons what rabies is to foxes parizeau is to chretien and roseanne is to good taste bloopers are the herpes of radio broadcasting worst blooper ever well im certainly glad that im not harry von zefi mister von zell was a great american radio broadcast er right up until the time he had to introduce the president of the united states live on national radio von zell intoned sonorously ladies and gentlemen may i present the president of the unit ed states mister hoobert heev- er merv griffin the game show host once all but scuppered his tv career by beginning an exlax- sponsored show with the intro duction well were off and run ning arthur black canadian radio types seem to have a curious affinity for the blooper i remember listening slack jawed to the cbc announcer who encouraged his listeners to stay stewed for the nudes then there was the ottawa cor respondent who attributed a rumored cabinet shuffle to high parliament hill souses and the cbc news reader alas no longer with us who signed off for the night saying thisis the canadian broadcor- ping castration i always wondered where the blooper came from and thanks to a writer named richard lederer i finally have the answer lederer is the author of a num ber of books his latest is called classroom classics more anguished english its a compi lation of linguistic bloopers com mitted by students at the junior high high school and college lev els and it proves conclusively that bloopers have their roots in our school system for instance the science stu- dent who wrote on an exam when you smell an odorless gas it is probably carbon monoxide or the student who advised there are three kinds of blood vessels arteries vanes and cater pillars or the astronomical jade who observed the moon is a planet just like the earth only deader and how about the biology stu dent who asserted the body consists of three parts the brainium the borax and the abominable cavity the brainium contains the brain the borax con tains the heart and lungs and the abominable cavity contains the vowels of which there are five a e i o and u just thinkthat student might be doing your hernia operation next spring and judging from lederers book i dont think students are as sexually sophisticated as weve been led to believe witness the agricultural schol ar who wrote artificial insemi nation is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull or the undergraduate who opined to prevent conception always wear a condominium which i supposed could only lead to the ultimate sexual avoid ance excuse not tonight dear i have a penthouse the tribune weekender edition a metroland community newspaper patricia pappas publisher andrew mair general manager and editor jo ann stevenson editorinchief alan shackleton editor debhaweller director of advertising barry goodyear director of distribution vivian onett business manager pamela nichols operations manager marklu 2942200 stouflvihe 6402100 uxbridgn 8529741 2948244 distribution 9 heritage rd mmrkhju lsp 1m2 fax mishiun 2941538 stouffvllle 8404477 imbridge 8524385 the tribune published every wednesday and saturday one of tbe metroiand printing pubushiog and distributing ltd group of newspapers which includes ajax pickering news advertiser barrie advance brampton guardian burlington post city parent coihngwcodvwasaga connection etobicoke guardian gecg indepeodentactoo free press kingston this week lindsay this week midtandpenetanguisbene mirror milton canadian champion missjssauga news newmarketaurora era banner north york mirror oakville beaver oriliia today oshawawhiuyciarington this week peterborough this week richmond hiuvthcrnhiuvvaughan liberal scarborough mirror todays seniors contents not to be reproduced 3- nnn nnnnnrf qonnr imfll tnnnrinr qnnnn7 replacement ifmswmspnm fans- coapposghaps nnoqq donnnf nnnnn rrrn po