p4tfteune january 18 1995 st siounvuie comment town not ready for club c touffville is still not a town where you can see adult entertainment despite repeated efforts by one frustrated local business man council still reflects the mood of the community in not permitting a strip club in the ringwood dr area councils reasoning was questioned by the businessman joe colicchio and he was told the same thing he had been told before that despite a bylaw allowing for two such clubs colicchios place of business was too close to residential areas to qualify for a licence to operate and while an amend ment to the bylaw might have been possible stouffvilles new council was also foreseeing a public outcry over the issue one has to sympathize with a businessman trying to get a break but at the same time he should remember that it was not that long ago that you couldnt buy a drink in this town stouffville is not the sort of town where a strip club is wanted ljjljlz4m to stbjffvllle n ujsmaj lujw on nurses cruise shipsjyid the weather girl 1w y apologies to the nursing f staff in the shortstay surgical unit at markham stouffville hospital it has been reported to me that during my stay there just before christmas i was not classified as the ideal patient in fact i believe i was let out early because in the words of one nurse i could have led florence nightingale to the bottle i also believe they did not want me to miss the holidays or my postchristmas cruise so four days after my release we were on our way but i have to admit after a week on the south seas my stay in the hospital was like a day at the beach as it turned out we were on the 1990s equivalent of the ss minnow and our trip can be summed up thusly the weather start ed getting rough the tiriy ship was tossecl it was my understanding that cruise ships were large vessels capable of carrying many hundreds of passengers through all sorts of weather without so much as spilling a drop from the complimentary rum punch not so i also heard the food was ter rific not so and that there was plenty of activity and fun things to do not quite our boat bobbed up and down like a cork the food was passable as such and there were only three things to do during the evening lose minute with mair an d re w m a i r money in the casino listen to the much music dance mix 93 cd over and over in the out door disco or go swimming in the salt water pool well swimming was out because of my hand but also because when the seas got rough the pool was drained to avoid soaking the outdoor buf fet i tried gambling but lost 40 in three hands of black jack that left disco dancing but the disco was closed when the crew deemed the seas were sufficiently violent enough to toss gyrating passengers to the fishes which meant we spent a good deal of our time in the cabin word of advice in rough seas stay out of any closet- sized space that is going up and down aside from the sea sickness it is very probable that you will be injured as you bounce off the wall even sleeping doesnt help because as you inhale the sea throws you your blankets and pillow three feet off the bed by the time you exhale you your blanket and pillow are push ing five gs into the mattress this wave action forces all the air out and keeps you very much awake and nauseous kind of like being on a roller coaster and in the hospital at the same time lets just say im not a cruise sort of person and neither is susan hay the global tv weather spe cialist was on our ship which made me wonder if she knows so much- about the weather shouldnt she have predicted that she too would be hanging greenfaced over the rails lineups are hot topic dujour stouffville tribune publisher general manager editorinchief advertising director retail advertising manager business manager operations manager patricia pappas andrew mair- jo ann stevenson debra weller phyllis ritchie vivian oneil pamela nichols staff reporters mike ruta julie casporsen roger belgrave photographers sioerd 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tribune national sales representative melroland corporate sales 4931300 6402100 6405477 fax i was just getting in touch with my inner child when the phone rang the invasion of my personal space was not entirely welcome but since it could have been an assignment and my visa bill was lying on my desk unopened for fear of its effect on my jangled nerves i picked it up it was someone wanting to know how i was the caller him self was strangely reluctant to divulge his identity but i had him sussed he was a telemarketer the kind who will arrange to have someone come into your home and reveal what you knew all along your carpets are more pol luted than the mind of andrew dice clay after a few seconds vacillation during which i considered giving my mysterious caller a blow-by- blow account of my ailments i bade him a terse farewell- i turned my attention instead to kates corne lineups the latest thing to get into first it was assembly line jobs next it was rh king collegiate although the pay offered by the former sounded alluring i decided to pass on a new career of misaligning car parts in favor of continuing my efforts to become a household name in select pockets of durham and york regions as for the school whose chief virtue according to accounts i have read is its insistence on uniforms it was already too late my children were too old to apply no chance now to guaran tee equal opportunity weeklong bad clothing days for my off spring no hope of instilling gen- tlepersonly manners into their alternative j musicinfested brains i considered going down just for the opportunity to join a highprofile lineup and possibly be featured on citytv but straitened circumstances forced me to give priority to earning a crust anyway if i wanted to stand in a queue i knew the quick check out counter at the grocery store would not disappoint its warm it gives you access to magazines with cover dates a lot more cur rent than those at the dentists and its a good place to exchange your philosophy of life with your neighbors so far television crews have not shown an inclination to take the national pulse at such venues but with lineups sur passing cable tv as the hot topic dujour its just a matter of time watch for me behind the 10 items of less sign