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jv2i- 3- ffc38oe0 3jau3irl 4 tftibjjneoctpber t9 1994 st be aware of all issues on nov 14 jp inal ballots are at the printers and the race is on before the debates before the candidate meetings and before too many doors are knocked on it is imperative that voters in this municipali ty make themselves familiar with not only the candidates but with the election process itself the issues and in many cases voters should at the very least know what ward they are in and while much attention is focussed on council and the race for mayor one aspect of this election cannot be over looked education takes the largest chunk of the municipal tax bill municipal council is third in the tax pie after the region voters must familiarize them selves with all to be able to make an informed decision on nov 14 doing battle with thejurnace from hell with much regret we turned on the furnace last week being scottish both in ancestry and by nature i always put off spending money until i absolute ly must but when we caught the fabulous mrs beasley and the cats huddled together for warmth in front of the refrigerator and when we couldnt get into the bath before shooing away the penguins i relented and went to the thermostat aside from the fact that paying for heat rankles me in the same way i begrudge putting a stamp on my tax returns i also had trepidations because we have the furnace from hell reluctantly i turned on the thermostat and immediately conjured up the furnace demons who instantly began coughing and snorting black smoke and what i thought looked suspi ciously like brimstone as they began their demon dance of fire the whole house shook and hor rific belching noises came up from the basement the furnace now fully possessed began grum bling very loudly occasionally mixed with a highpitched insane laughter in the two years we have lived in our home we have become used to this however when the air moving through the pipes began to sound like a funeral dirge and the fabulous mrs beasley began to howl we knew wed have to call in an expert the fumexorcist he arrived at the door black bag in hand fedora pulled down over his eyes he descended the basement stairs with solemn authority but within minutes came tearing back up eyes wide minute with mair andrew m a i r filthy and soaked in sweat this is going to be a big job he said i knew what this meant big money but a sooty tentacle was inching its way up the basement stairs so it had to be done after 6aying a silent prayer the fumexorcist went back into the bowels ofthe house all was quiet for awhile then he came charg ing back up with a look on his face of one who has seen things no mortal is supposed to see do you have a plastic bag he asked what on earth for i asked unable to fathom what furnace component could be whipped into submission by a flimsy bit of plas tic ive found the trouble he said dramatically we inched back into the base ment where the oncefierce fur nace lay in pieces showing me a part that he called the oscillating fibrillation hotometer or some thing like that he reached in and pulled out are you ready for this a bat he put the thing in the bag and reached back into the machine another bat then another and another and one more ah so this was what pos sessed my furnace i could pic ture the little mammals running around in the engine shouting out things like impulse power mr bat and i canny give er any more captain when i turned on the furnace seeing that their ship was dying but secure in the knowledge that they had gone where no bats had gone before the captain gave the selfdestruct order the furnace up and running i thanked the man who slipped out into the fog leaving no trace except a bill for 365 and closed the door as i did so i could swear i heard a tiny maniacal giggle coming from the stove yall have a nice day now stouffville tribune publisher general manager editorinchief advertising director retail advertising manager business manager operations manager patricia pappas andrew mair jo ann stevenson debra weller phyllis ritchie vivian oneil pamela nichols staff reporters mike ruta julie caspersen roger belgrave photographers sjoerd witteveen steve somerville real estate ads joan marshman classified ads doreen deacon retail sales joan marshman doreen deacon distribution ariene maddock canadian publications mali sales product agreement 439010 published every wednesday by metroland printing publishing and distributing at 9 heritage rd markham ontario l3p 1m3 tel 2942200 the stouffville tribune published every wednesday at 244 main st stouffville is one of the metroland printing publishing and distributing group of suburban newspapers which includes aaxplckarlng news advertiser aurora banner barrio advance brampton guardian burlington post colllngwood connection etoblcoke guardian georgetown independentacton free press kingston this week lindsay this week markham economist sun midland express milton canadian champion mlsslssauga news newmarket era banner north york mirror northumberland news oakvllle beaver ottilia today oshawa- whltfcy this week peterborough this week richmond hinthornhlltveughan liberal scarbor ough mirror and uibridge tribune national sales representative mevoland corporate sales 4931300 j 6402100 6405477 fax t he other day i was hanging a out at a newfangled check out in the drug store passing the time of day with a cash register hello it said in bright green userfriendly electronic letters hello yourself i replied that was about it conversation- wise until a human operator came along and punched in some numbers at this point it reverted to type and demanded money first we had talking cars whatever happened to talking cars now we have to endure nonverbal communication from machines at the checkout im still trying to decide whether or not this is a good thing i suppose it could catch on with people who like interfacing with anything incapable of answering back at least until an enterprising lawyer brings a class action suit on behalf of lin kates corne mate objects its certainly easier to ignore a well brought up computer than to freeze out one of those pesky greeters waiting to pounce on you the second you step over the threshold of certain wellknown chain stores not to mention those eager beavers in white lab coats who lurk amid supermarket dis plays waiting to ambush the unwary shopper with samples of chocolate chip cookie or nocalo rie substitute cream cheese spread thwarting the determined demonstrator can be tricky end of every aisle if you do find yourself on the receiving end of a sumptuous sausage sample at 802 the morning after the night before however you will be forced to take evasive action the brave simply ignore heart felt entreaties to nibble on a nacho others sweep by mumbling no thank you and leave the store to the sound of muzak with their shopping only half com pleted theres always the option of caving in and ingesting whatev er is preferred but then youre stuck with a fistful of coupons and a sales pitch for the product in question claiming immunity on reli gioussexualracial grounds is probably your best bet since even the most determined sales person pales at the thought of intervention by the human rights commission