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p4 tribune october 12 1994 st stouffvillej comment harvest fest should be fantastic jjearty congratulations to rob shannon at the flea market and the rest of the organizing committee of harvest fest this week ends activities should be great fun for the entire fam ily harvest fest is spon sored by the whitchurch- stouffville chamber of commerce who have sought for a couple of years to come up with new and original ideas with harvest fest the group has succeeded shannon as vicepresident of the chamber and chair man of the harvest fest committee has put together an impressive lineup in a very short time there is every possibility the fall celebration will soon rival the strawberry festival in scope help sup port this worthwhile ven ture for our town taking a different tack on course curriculum i heard this week that square dancing is still being taught in the schools how i remember those days of swinging your partner and bow ing to your neighbor but then as now i have to wonder about the true educa tional value of this and some of the other school courses on the curriculum the students hate it and the staff that teach it must feel it to be little more than a necessary diversion from more important studies i am not an outspoken critic of the education system and as both my parents were educa tors i would be threatening my direct line to christmas pre sents and birthday cards if i was to speak out against a system to which they devoted their entire adult lives but with the elec tion for school trustees coming up and all the hubbub about education reforms i thought fd throw in a few ideas of my own for curriculum changes that would better prepare our stu dents for life in the real world 1 bedmaking 101 strictly for boys most boys are forced to take home economics courses but they dont teach you how to make a bed boys are incapable of making a bed even after years of marriage this i know from experience 2 elocution 101 teaches students how to eradicate the word tike from their everyday diction this will come in handy when they get out in the real world and dont have to say um like can i like have a minute with mair job or something when approaching prospective employers 3 fashion ed this would teach students that the person who started the trend of wear ing pants around the hips so the underwear is visible was not way cool but in fact a rummy who sold his belt for a flagon of ripple 4 ed ed this junior level course would offer the students real examples of what happens to you when you go out into the world without an education people like erik estrada dan quayle and that ziggy woman could be called in to give talks 5 how to buy a car without getting soaked the value here speaks for itself td still like to sign up 6 what to expect from your kids when you get old best antiteen pregnancy mes sage you could ask for 7 polisigh lectures designed to guide kids through politically correct dating 8 college pro oac not a course for prospective house painters but rather a program designed for oac students that would include introduction to toga parties physics of the beer bong history of spring break you know the stuff they will have to learn at college 9 so you want to be a doctor a history of the big clunky shoe industry 10 reading writing and arithmetic by far the most radical approach to educating our youngsters but if intro duced early and often enough who knows they just might catch on thoughts on a cult of personalities stouffville tribune publisher general manager editorlnchlef advertising director retail advertising manager business manager operations manager patricia pappas andrew mair jo ann stevenson oebra weller phyllis ritchie vivian oneil pamela nichols staff reporters mike ruta julie caspersen roger belgrave photographers soerd witteveen steve somerville real estate ads joan marshman classified ads doreen deacon retail sales joan marshman doreen deacon distribution ariene maddock canadian publications mall sales product agreement 439010 published every wednesday by meirolend printing publishing and distributing at 9 heritage rd markham ontario l3p 1m3 tel 2942200 the siouflvllle tribune published every wednesday at 6244 main st stoufmlle is one of the uetroland printing publishing and distributing group of suburban newspapers which includes ajaxplckerlng news advertiser aurora banner barrle advance brarnptoo guardian burlington post colllngwood connection etomcoke guardian georgetown independentacton free press kingston ftls week lindsay this week markham economist ft sun midland express hilton canadian champion mlsstsseuga news newmarket era banner north york mirror northumberland news oakvule beaver orillla today oshawa- whltoy this week peterborough this week richmond rovthornhnivaughan liberal scarbor- natk3nal sales repbesernatnfmelrolar corporate sales 931300 6402100 6405477 fax fc- n a s if being a judge were not 1 already fraught with per ilous pitfalls especially for priv ileged white males who make up the vast majority of their num ber two recent cases have added a new wrinkle to the belea guered profession a woman who says she has 10 personalities accused a bus dri ver of sexual assault but two of her personalities said she agreed to sex noted a report in thursdays toronto star refer ring to a case in cincinnati hey thats america for you eh what else would you expect from the nation which spawned oprah geraldo oj simpson and gerald ford read on macduff a few pages later the follow ing gem appeared assault charges against an ottawa man were dismissed yesterday after his wife testified they were fab ricated by another part of her kates corne i didnt call the police joanne yanthafraser told a stunned courtroom mary lou the other part of me called them asked by the crown attorney whether mary lou would be good enough to testify she coun tered the lord wont let her talk the judge dismissed the case but who knows when mary lou will show up to wreak vengeance on a judge who has only listened to half the evi dence on the other hand such cases could prove a gold mine for those poor lawyers who are scraping by on 250 an hour just think- four clients in a single body that would certain ly take care of the hydro bill and theres no doubt that multi ple personality does have its appealing side as a defence against unwanted accusations politicians will doubtless embrace it with the enthusiasm they usually reserve for demanding shelley marteps res ignation if the deficit cant be shrugged off as the result of ineptitude on the part of previous govern ments the finance minister can simply blame floyds alterego ferdinand who was running his brain the last time he they presented a budget my failure to meet a deadline can henceforth be attributed to my other selves who find it hard enough to get out of bed in the morning never mind string together a coherent paragraph or two by lunch time and its nice to know i need never be alone again s